Author Topic: My Story Finally finding my peace and myself again.  (Read 728 times)

Offline WhyusTopic starter

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My Story Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« on: June 18, 2019, 11:42:52 PM »
Hi Folks, thank you to all who have supported me on my journey and who helped get me through my "dark Patches". Welcome to my new Thread.

My last Thread was very "nonMLC" as we have as good as NC and that is fine by me. No more complaints about boring threads as all hell seems to open up when I do.
My life is all about my Boys, K, my dog, my 2 Bands, my Suzuki and gigs/Festivals now. Work is not as important to me as it was pre BD, I do no more overtime and I dont worry so much about my Projects. Its only work and we work to live so I just do enough to Keep by bosses happy and dont try to be a Superstar anymore who takes on as much responsibility as possible. I let my colleagues do it now, I just tell them what to do where I would have done it myself pre BD.

Financially I am much better off since XW "left". She always worked, part time but I can see now that she spent ALOOOOOT more than she brought in. We were always in the red, it wasnt much but it was red! Now I can put Money into my savings every month, buy concert tickets, book Hotels and buy vinly records without thinking twice and still have some left at the end of the month which also goes into my savings account.
Its nice not to have the financial worries anymore. Money cannot buy you happiness but life is alot less stressful when you have enough compared to being in the red.

K and I ordered standup paddle boards yesterday for our Holidays, I cannot wait for them to arrive so that we can get on a local lake and practice. It Looks like great fun and ive wanted to do it for a Long time now so I finally pulled the trigger.
The summer can come, im ready for it.

Heres my last Thread
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10832.0
« Last Edit: June 18, 2019, 11:48:24 PM by Whyus »
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2019, 11:49:26 PM »
Following...
Me - 56
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline Silver

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2019, 01:50:06 AM »
Here.
I'm glad to hear that you got rid of being in the red all the time! Unfortunately can't say the same myself  :o
SUP board sounds great! In fact I am considering to rent or even buy (see why I am in the red??) one for my holiday at july as I will probably spend time at the summer cottage by the lake.
Please share how was it, never tried it myself.
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Offline Helpingme!

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2019, 02:14:21 AM »
Following along Whyus
It's funny Whyus when 18, 19, 20 yr old boys(ha) say I'm grown now!!!! Well act like it then.
My S18 is the same way. Exactly like you saud my W has saud it so many times, A kid shouldn't have to do that!!!! Boy I tell ya.
I wish I had videos of you falling off that board 10 times before you get the hang of it. Good YouTube material. Ha

Wishing you more peace my friend. Have a good one.

Offline dogwalker

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2019, 05:39:10 AM »
I’m with you mate

Online stillbaffled

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2019, 05:55:35 AM »
I'm here as well.  I always enjoy hearing about your rides on two wheels.  My wind therapy on my Harley is something I enjoy every single time!   :D
After all, tomorrow is another day.
Together 16 years - married 6
BD - 1/1/16 - his 53rd birthday
His divorce final 7/16
Married OW - 7/17
a consistent semi-vanisher in the same small town

Online Mitzpah

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2019, 06:01:48 AM »
Hey Whyus,

I guess I need to have a similar talk to my d24! She will be leaving soon to go live in Ireland for 10 months, so hopefully she'll get herself straight then! ::)  She doesn't believe in picking her clothes up nor making her bed >:(, washing the dishes? What's that?

I think I was to blame, I like a clean tidy space and have little patience to wait for the kids to get up off their behinds to do things so I ended up doing it :( If I tried to complain about things, they would say that I was always nagging them and I was sensitive to that kind of criticism post BD.

We see a lot of SUP boards around here - I sometimes think I would like to rent one just to try it out  :) I hope you and K have a great time, they say it is excellent exercise!
M 57
H 57
S 27
S 25
D 24
BD 13 Dec 2010
Divorced 27 Feb 2015 (30 years marriage)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

Offline WhyusTopic starter

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2019, 06:10:50 AM »
Just another hour at work then its a loooooooong Weekend in Belgium. Slipknot are headlining on my Birthday  8)

I'm glad to hear that you got rid of being in the red all the time! Unfortunately can't say the same myself  :o
You can do it mate, I was lucky enough to have Money over after the house sale, bought some guitars and my Suzuki. The rest is put away for a deposit on a small house/flat one day. XW cant have much left  :o
SUP board sounds great! In fact I am considering to rent or even buy (see why I am in the red??) one for my holiday at july as I will probably spend time at the summer cottage by the lake.
Please share how was it, never tried it myself.
Will do, im looking Forward to it  :D. They are inflatable, €240 each which isnt bad actually.

It's funny Whyus when 18, 19, 20 yr old boys(ha) say I'm grown now!!!! Well act like it then.  Exactly!
My S18 is the same way. Exactly like you saud my W has saud it so many times, A kid shouldn't have to do that!!!! Boy I tell ya. Its a disaster waiting to happy mate.
I wish I had videos of you falling off that board 10 times before you get the hang of it. Good YouTube material. Ha
Maybe K and I can film each other or wear GoPros ;D
Wishing you more peace my friend. Have a good one. Thanks, you too.

I’m with you mate
Nice  ;)

I'm here as well.  I always enjoy hearing about your rides on two wheels.  My wind therapy on my Harley is something I enjoy every single time!   :D
Whats not to enjoy?  ;D I spontaniously took the Suzuki to work today so im looking Forward to putting those buttcomplimenting Leather trousers on and riding home  :)

Hey Whyus,

I guess I need to have a similar talk to my d24! .........I was sensitive to that kind of criticism post BD.
Do it Mitz, they Need a Little shove sometimes  ;) S19 actually thanked us for talking to him about it instead of constantly nagging as his mam did  ;D
We see a lot of SUP boards around here - I sometimes think I would like to rent one just to try it out  :) I hope you and K have a great time, they say it is excellent exercise!
Upto 1000Caleries an hour and its fun, what more do you want ;D
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #8 on: June 20, 2019, 01:17:54 PM »
Awesome Whyus! SUP Boards having always been something I wanted to try. Maybe I will now!

Speaking of a$$less chaps......I thought of you biker boys and gals the other day as I drove home from work. A guy on a Suzuki passed me by--I drive fast--at least 85mph. He was wearing a helmet. But, also shorts and a T shirt. Yes it was 105 degrees F that day, but wow. Seemed a tad unsafe. Oh well, natural selection. Gotta love CA.

Have a great weekend in Belgium. Makes me think of beer and chocolate. Yep, one track mind.
Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #9 on: June 24, 2019, 04:43:15 AM »
Speaking of a$$less chaps......I thought of you biker boys and gals the other day as I drove home from work. A guy on a Suzuki passed me by--I drive fast--at least 85mph. He was wearing a helmet. But, also shorts and a T shirt. Yes it was 105 degrees F that day, but wow. Seemed a tad unsafe. Oh well, natural selection. Gotta love CA.

Ooooo... Road Pizza at it's finest, just looking for a place to happen... Mixed with a bit of Darwin....

All seriousness aside, we have those candidates here in Germany too (Helmet, shorts, T-Shirts, and tennis shoes)  even though their health insurance will drop them like a hot rock on Jupiter for "Gross Negligence."
Me - 56
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

 

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