Author Topic: My Story Finally finding my peace and myself again.  (Read 726 times)

Offline WhyusTopic starter

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My Story Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #10 on: June 25, 2019, 04:02:37 AM »
K, I and a colleague of mine got back from Belgium yesterday, all safe and Sound but a Little (very) tired  ;). We had a great time, 4 nights in a tent and lots of awesome bands over the 4 days including Slipknot, Slayer, Kiss, Def Leppard, Whitesnake, In Flames, stone temple pilots, clutch.... too many to Name. We rode the big Wheel twice which gives you a fantastic view of the Festival/Camping area.
65-70.000 People every day, no stress, no Trouble, no agro, just everybody getting along and having a good time.
On Sunday the 23rd I realized that my 22nd Wedding anniversary was 3 days earlier and I hadn’t thought of it once! That has to be a small victory for Team Whyus... I'll take that for now.

On the 22nd K and I took a walk to where the bus was parked and she gave me my birthday presents. There were 6 in total, thing really expensive but all were very thoughtful which is amazing. I’ve already started to listen for breadcrumbs/hints as I have 6 months until her birthday and I want to get it right. You girls are hard work, she set the birthday bar high again. :D
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline Father5

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #11 on: June 25, 2019, 09:58:31 AM »
You sound like a very thoughtful person I am sure you will get it right!
Together 12 yrs Married 5
5 kids 3- Step (21) (20) (18) Two together ( 8 ) (9)
BD1 March 2018 - I wish I could give you more of what you need
BD2 Aug 2018 - I want a divorce sent by text ILWYBNILWY

O/M Discovered Nov-18

Offline Treasur

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2019, 11:49:08 AM »
Ah, we're easy, Why Us....something pretty or indulgent that we wouldn't buy ourselves and something that shows us you have quietly paid attention to things that make us happy. My h was always a great gift giver...big and small...often the nicest gifts were the small things that showed he really 'got' me as a person. Ha ha...makes me thing about an MLC gift catalogue....IC sessions bc the problem is you? A discount voucher for a L? A free tattoo of a monster face? Some tacky jewellery chosen by ow?  ::)
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Online One day at a time

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2019, 12:51:31 PM »
Ah, we're easy, Why Us....something pretty or indulgent that we wouldn't buy ourselves and something that shows us you have quietly paid attention to things that make us happy.
Spot on!
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.
Confirmation H is with OW in her home country  - 3rd June 2019

"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Offline WhyusTopic starter

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2019, 11:36:36 PM »
Thank you Father 5, I hope so :_)
Treasur, that was the nice Thing aboput my presents from K, there were a couple of "small" Gifts which I wanted but hadnt bought so she got them for me. It is quite easy really if your eyes are open.

So a Little sign of life from my XW. S19 had gotten his Dates mixed up at the Weekend and was off to a Festival (Dance Music  :o) with his friends. XW took the dog for 2 days, when we got back she was bathed and XW had cut her nails.

I had some SMSs on my phone which I hadnt looked at because I had crossed 4 European borders on the Weekend and always get "info" SMSs from my phone company. They always say the same Thing so I ignored them. When I looked last night, one was from my XW, on my birthday. It said "Happy Birthday whyus :). Have a nice day". OK, its not much and no big deal but that my XW actually thought about me AND acted on it AND wrote in English is massive for her! English was our "texting" language, after BD it was nearly always Business German  ;D. I sent a short Reply and apologized for not replying earlier, she probably was expecting a Reply from me and a Little pissed when it didnt come. I used the rule of 3 there without even trying........  ::)

Dont worry, im not going to go all soft and start looking for signs and $h!te because that ship has Long sailed, Long before I knew it actually  ;D. It was a very Little Thing though which was totally unexpected, no more no less.
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline Silver

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #15 on: June 26, 2019, 12:14:37 AM »
On the 22nd K and I took a walk to where the bus was parked and she gave me my birthday presents. There were 6 in total, thing really expensive but all were very thoughtful which is amazing. I’ve already started to listen for breadcrumbs/hints as I have 6 months until her birthday and I want to get it right. You girls are hard work, she set the birthday bar high again. :D

THIS seems to be your annual process mate, I remember you wrote about this issue last year too  ;D

S19 had gotten his Dates mixed up at the Weekend and was off to a Festival (Dance Music  :o)
It doesn't necessarily mean that you were a failure as a father. I am sorry to hear this anyway.  :o ;D

I sent a short Reply and apologized for not replying earlier, she probably was expecting a Reply from me and a Little pissed when it didnt come.
So was I  ;D (not really)

You are doing great, good to hear your trip was success!  8)

"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Offline Standing Strong

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #16 on: June 26, 2019, 12:38:44 AM »
Joining  :)
W - 38
M - 41
Together 24 years, M 21
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019

Offline WhyusTopic starter

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #17 on: June 26, 2019, 02:18:46 AM »
THIS seems to be your annual process mate, I remember you wrote about this issue last year too  ;D
I will be doing it next year too :-). Get a Graspop ticket and join us, you will love it!
S19 had gotten his Dates mixed up at the Weekend and was off to a Festival (Dance Music  :o)
It doesn't necessarily mean that you were a failure as a father. I needed to hear that  ;D I am sorry to hear this anyway.  :o ;D Could be worse, he likes metal too. A big "Bullet for my Valentine" fan  ;)

I sent a short Reply and apologized for not replying earlier, she probably was expecting a Reply from me and a Little pissed when it didnt come.
So was I  ;D (not really) You were, admit it. Sorry again though  :o

You are doing great, good to hear your trip was success!  8)
Cheers bro
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline Thunder

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #18 on: June 26, 2019, 04:49:28 AM »
Attaching....

Treasur, your MLC gift catalog cracked me up.   
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Online readytofixmyselffirst

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #19 on: June 26, 2019, 05:50:51 AM »
Hello,

Quote
Could be worse, he likes metal too. A big "Bullet for my Valentine"

No, that's the best thing a father can bring into his son's life.

It is good to hear you are doing so well. You've got plenty of time to get the gifts and believe me, she will tell you what she wants.

Have a great day!

Ready
"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

 

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