Author Topic: My Story Finally finding my peace and myself again.  (Read 729 times)

Online One day at a time

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My Story Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #30 on: July 05, 2019, 01:18:52 AM »
Congrats to S19!! That's great news.. The fact that he didn't want his mum there is very telling.. It's sad really when you think about it but yet another consequence to her actions..

And on the responsibility topic, don't take it personally. I have followed the discussion but I stayed away from commenting because I don't have any hard stance one way or the other, still trying to make up my own mind! We are all put in an awful position when our spouses walk and we all find our way to come to terms with what happened to our lives. While some of the experiences we go through are similar, we all get to our own conclusions based on our own perceptions, beliefs, conditioning, etc.
You are not wrong and neither are the others, just different ways of interpreting this life changing event we all found ourselves in.. If the others find some comfort in thinking their spouses don't know what they are doing, if that helps them sleep better at night.. why should anyone convince them otherwise? And vice-versa.. I hope you don't feel offended by this comment because it's not my intention by any means.

Have a wonderful weekend!
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.
Confirmation H is with OW in her home country  - 3rd June 2019

"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Offline WhyusTopic starter

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #31 on: July 05, 2019, 02:47:05 AM »
Thank you Silver and one day.

One day, I certainly don't feel offended by your comment, I welcome it and your totally right. Im just a Little sensative when I get eaten up for make a harmless comment.
I stay true to my comment though, they dont only know what they are doing, they are loving it! They will/may look back one day with regret but they knew what was Happening, just look at how Long some plan this BS, they go to great lengths to get what they want.
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline readytofixmyselffirst

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #32 on: July 05, 2019, 04:48:22 AM »
Hello,

Quote
this would all have been so much easier if she had met somebody after we had seperated.

I hold this true as well. My ex has dated others since we have divorced. I guess English Bob wasn't her true soul mate. That doesn't bother me at all. English Bob can learn to tap dance in an Afghani mine field for all I care.

I agree with One Day on the comment. People have to live within their skin and make it through the day with what they can deal with at the moment. The point is whatever it takes to get you to the point to accept, let go, and live for yourself and your family is the important part.

Have an awesome day!

Ready

 
"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

Offline WhyusTopic starter

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #33 on: July 08, 2019, 02:19:36 AM »
Nothing to Report about my MLCer or xMLCer. She exists in her Corner of town and I in my Corner, thats it basically. I guess a normal XW from a normal Divorce may have called and asked about the Meeting with S19s new bosses but no, nothing as expected.

K and I bought 2 SUPs (Stand Up Paddleboards) a couple of weeks back for our Holidays. They were of the cheaper Kind which is fine for a beginner, alot of YouTubeing was done beforehand. We took them to our local lake on friday, conditions were not optimal but it was great fun. We both only fell in/fell off once when we got hit by a serious of side waves ,it was too windy really but ist only water afterall ;)
It was such good fun that we drove there again on Saturday straight after breakfast. We done a lap of the lake, took a break and then done another lap. We didnt even get wet this time and I learnt that you kneel when the waves get a Little too much. It worked a treat, Center of gravity and stuff. I thought that only Tools and beginners kneel on a SUP but its just a way of mastering difficult Waters so its all cool  ;).

Once we were done we packed everything into the bus and walked 10 minutes to where our Football/Soccer Team was to Play their first pre Season friendly of the year. The game wasnt great, the manager changed the whole Team except for one at half time so there was no real flow and both Teams were a mix out of the first Team pros and youth Players. It was still good to see some of the Youngsters getting stuck in and also the new Players who have arrived all played.

I am suffering today though, every muscle in my Body is screaming "why did you have to go onto the lake again on saturday and then twice!"  :D Its really a great fun way to get fit as you use your whole Body and ist great for the core apparently. Riding on the open sea will be a totally different game but worst case is that we get wet and look like Tools. I can fortunately live with both  8)

Just one more week at work and I have 3 weeks Holidays, I can hardly wait!
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Online Mortesbride

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #34 on: July 08, 2019, 10:34:32 AM »
Count down to holidays are always super exciting. Sometimes you have more fun in the anticipation than the actual trip!

Glad you are having fun paddling around in a lake.  ::) :P

I got myself super sore this week as well but it was from hours of weeding and planting....aka previous man chores!  :P

Garden's looking great though, and now I just gotta figure out how I am gonna build a kids summer house without a power drill.  :o
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline WhyusTopic starter

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #35 on: July 08, 2019, 11:31:25 PM »
Count down to holidays are always super exciting. Sometimes you have more fun in the anticipation than the actual trip!
Your right there morte, I hope that the trip will be what I expect it to be though :-)
Glad you are having fun paddling around in a lake.  ::) :P
Ist great, you should try it  ;)
I got myself super sore this week as well but it was from hours of weeding and planting....aka previous man chores!  :P
Bäh....  I quite like garden work but it has to be done when im ready and not when somebody tells me to do it. Its $h!tety when the Chores would have belonged to the runaway though  :(
Garden's looking great though, and now I just gotta figure out how I am gonna build a kids summer house without a power drill.  :o
Thats an easy one morte......Youtube is your friend as in most cases  ;)
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline WhyusTopic starter

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #36 on: July 11, 2019, 11:23:26 PM »
Ist my last day at work before a 3 week Holiday  ;). Sunday we are driving to Holland for a night, then a night in France before getting the Ferry for our England/Wales tour.
Apart from the 4 nights at my dads house and a night in Liverpool (Beatles themed Hotel of Course  ;D) we will be sleeping in the bus, mostly on cliffs or next to the beach.

S19 has booked a last Minute 10 day Holiday with a friend and leaves on Saturday, XW will look after doggy for the duration (I have cut her hair and she Looks great)

I dropped K off at the Supermarket down the road last night whilst on the way to band practice and XWs car was parked outside. I wished K alot of fun with XW, she laughed and told me to shut up and behave myself  :).When I got home I asked if she had a nice time with XW and K told me that she saw XW but she didnt see K. I said "let me guess, she looked confused rght"? K laughed and said that XW was Standing infront of the shelf with oils and spices and looked like a clueless 13 year old. You could see the question marks coming out of her head.......  :o. How did I know this and why wasnt I surprised???

MIL/FIL have officially given up the Pub and gone into retirement. They have rented a small garden/alotment just 100m from my house to Keep them busy. Maybe this would be the perfect Location for S19s birthday party! XW surely doesnt want me in her MLC flat and I surely dont want her and OM in my house (though I would probably have to do this just for S19s sake  :-[)

Hopefully I can get some time on the paddle boards tomorrow and later watch my Team Play another pre Season friendly against a dutch Team.

Have a great Weekend all and stay true to yourselves!
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline Silver

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #37 on: July 12, 2019, 02:13:11 AM »
Ist my last day at work before a 3 week Holiday  ;).

And my last day at work before 4 week holiday  ;D

Have a great time off mate, your plans sound really good!
Still thinking about buying SUP board myself, it's been really cold for a July so far so not so tempting idea right atm  ::)
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Online One day at a time

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #38 on: July 12, 2019, 02:28:42 AM »
Oh lads, I'm so jealous!!!! 3 and 4 weeks holidays!?!? Can I go too??  ;D ;D
H - 42 (40 @BD1)
M - 42 (40 @BD1)
Together 15 years, M 8 @separation
No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.
Confirmation H is with OW in her home country  - 3rd June 2019

"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

Offline WhyusTopic starter

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Re: Finally finding my peace and myself again.
« Reply #39 on: July 12, 2019, 04:53:29 AM »
4 weeks Silver! Awesome dude, enjoy  ;D
One day, I wouldnt have a Problem with you coming along but K might  :D.

Just 90 minutes and im done with work for now  ;D
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. W is actually getting People to accept/Tolerate them.
2 Sons - 19 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

 

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