Author Topic: My Story Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8  (Read 1405 times)

Offline ReallytryingTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« on: June 19, 2019, 04:58:52 AM »
Recap - married 15 years at BD. H left the following year. Discovered that he was in a relationship with his former secretary. They moved in together June 2018. We have a very friendly coparenting relationship. Kids are D-16, S-14.

https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10588.0


Offline ReallytryingTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2019, 05:12:31 AM »
This past Sunday was Father’s Day. H texted Saturday evening saying he wanted to get the kids in the afternoon - I of course agreed. My parents arrived Sunday. D was annoyed about going with H 🤷🏽‍♀️.  He cake to pick them up on Sunday. Gave my mom a huge hug. She commented after he left that he looked sad. Said his smile never reached his eyes.

D texted to say there was no point in them being there because they weren’t doing anything. I commented that she was spending time with dad. She said he’s not with us he is eating fast food in his bedroom. What? OW brought home fast food and he went into his room with it. Eventually she asked H if her boyfriend could come over. So for father’s day she hung out with her bf, s played with a friend, while h sat alone in his room? I don’t get it. Meanwhile my folks and I had a lovely evening with my aunt and uncle.

Eventually h texted to ask if it was ok if he let D boyfriend drive them back so that he didn’t have to do it. I of course said it was fine.

Yesterday H texted to ask if my dad wanted to play golf with him today. So he is on his way to get him for a morning tee time.

Drama with D school continues. H and I have been working on that together. He filed a complaint yesterday with the state - a teacher is refusing to give D work from when she was ill.

Before my parents got here they spent the weekend with MIL and SIL - I’m sure ow is not impressed about that. Oh well 🤷🏽‍♀️.  The family bonds remain just as strong as ever.

I keep being told that I’m glowing - my mom even said it. For awhile I was struggling to trust the happy feeling. It’s like I’m afraid the universe will notice I’m happy and slap me down. So grateful for my LBS friends - especially MourningDove, Handpuppets, & Onward who talk me off the ledge or laugh at my shenanigans as needed.

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2019, 05:32:46 AM »
Fast food in his room for Father's Day while his kids are there with him...


THAT sounds like a really happy fun life there now, doesn't it? All puppy dogs, purple Unicorns running around farting clouds of glitter, rainbows and Cotton Candy...

NOT!

And even mom notices the mask....

It really makes one want to shake them and ask them what is SO difficult to understand about their situation.... And why can't they get their head out of their .... fog... long enough to actually DO something about changing it....
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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Offline Mitzpah

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2019, 05:41:39 AM »
RT,

You are sounding good!

I hope your daughter's issues with school get sorted out, good that her father continues to be involved. That is one of the things I missed, although, he never used to be very involved with schools even before BD.

I think it great that he continues to golf with your dad, I wonder what ow thinks of that?
M 57
H 57
S 27
D 24
BD 13 Dec 2010
Divorced 27 Feb 2015 (30 years marriage)

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Offline CanLetGo

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2019, 08:01:26 AM »
Following rt, Father’s Day sounds weird, but you sound good, doing you, best thing you can do xi
Me 45
H 49
3 young adult kids
BD December 2013, left home August 2014, D June 2018
OW 17 years younger

Offline Dumbfounded

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2019, 09:52:15 AM »
Coming along.  What a strange Father's Day. Your Mom called it. 
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
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Offline Treasur

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2019, 10:11:47 AM »
Hmmm, doesn't sound like a magic happy fix to me? Quite weird behaviour actually from a grown man. I suspect we all agree with your Mum....your Dad may come back from golf with a few titbits as often men do talk a bit more openly while doing some kind of activity. Your parents sound lovely  ;)
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

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Offline 31andcounting

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2019, 11:47:51 AM »
Jumping on your new thread RT!

I agree you sound wonderful and actually happy😊
I am very happy to read this!  H as usual is stuck within his misery, his own doing of course!
Life is moving right along and you seem to be leading the way!
Sorry D is having struggles. Don’t you wonder how much of this would have gone on for her if H hadn’t lost his marbles?  I’m usually don’t throw blame around at the MLCer but he deserves some blame. Just my opinion but I think he’s about to miss the last train😜

Keep living your beautiful life!
(Hugs)
31

Hurting people hurt people :(

Offline MourningDove

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2019, 12:46:52 PM »
ReallyTrying - I truly am believing he is stuck. He just can't seem to make that connection that things are not exactly happy in MLC land. Father's Day is so bizarre. Asking to have the kids and yet not spending time with them is just beyond bizarre, but then we are in MLC land.  ::)

As for talking you off the ledge - LOL - while I am not keeping score, I rather suspect we have a pretty good balance there. LOL. Besides, not all the conversations are of the "off the ledge" variety  ;D

Online KeepItTogether

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2019, 02:53:08 PM »
Fast food in the bedroom alone. Yeah, that sounds super healthy.

Sorry about D! But happy a resolution seems to be in place. Glad H stepped up to help in between his bedroom Big-Mac attacks. Happy Father's Day indeed.

Me 48
H 47
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

 

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