Author Topic: My Story Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8  (Read 1480 times)

Offline ReallytryingTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #40 on: October 06, 2019, 06:27:28 AM »
Forgot to add that OW has now been introduced consistently to SIL, MIL and family which initially made me sad. Like somehow I was gonna be replaced. Rationally I know that h is her brother but it still makes me sad - SIL and I grew up together just like H and I did. Anyway when I mentioned to SIL that I was going home for my bday she said “what dates?”  Her next words were let me check my schedule. If I can swing it I’m coming with you. I needed that reminder that I can’t be replaced. Whether h stays with her or not has no bearing anymore on my relationship with SIL who has consistently shown her loyalty to me. She then asked if we’d come there for Christmas.

Offline Shelly7435

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #41 on: October 06, 2019, 08:33:15 AM »
What a kind, loving SIL you have! Mlc is just crazy. Sorry you didn’t get to go to the game but glad they are moving forward!
M 53
H 48
M 12 years; together 17 years
D18, S28
Summer 2014 - H wanted to runaway
9/14 I was diagnosed with Breast cancer
11/14 Surgery for BC..3 day after my father dies
11/14 BD 2 days after surgery. I have no passion for you.
2/15 moved out
Dated each other all year affection back on..
3/16 moved home
7/16 Diagnosed with Breast cancer again
8/16 No affection again. I knew something was wrong.
9/16 Another surgery for Breast Cancer
9/16 BD 11 days after surgery discovered -EA with much younger W from Work. That is over. I think he has meaningless flings. Work is his mistress
10/16 I filed for D (financial reasons)
10/16 I moved out.
10/16 Now off and on vanisher
5/17 Divorce final

Offline Dumbfounded

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #42 on: October 06, 2019, 04:14:14 PM »
They are such strange creatures. Just floating along like a formless jellyfish in a vast ocean. No real direction or purpose. No accountability for their actions.  It boggles the mind.

I have done a lot of healing these past few years but I am not sure that I could ever heal enough to trust anyone with my whole heart again. There might always be a part of me wondering what I was missing. I can only hope that maybe I will get to a place that I wouldn’t care because I knew I could stand on my own no matter what. Sigh.
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline Savoir Faire

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #43 on: October 06, 2019, 10:50:49 PM »
You will never truly be replaced RT, you are the queen and she is the wicked witch.  There's no comparison, these ow's are broken and plain broken, needy and controlling.

The family will see through her unless they are as fogged in as your H.  The thick fog tends to run in families, along with stupidity so don't expect too much from them.
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #44 on: October 11, 2019, 04:44:47 PM »
But I’m just struck once again by how self involved H has become. No effort to help figure it out. It was all on me to solve it 🤷🏽‍♀️


That always gets me too. Sometimes I want to scream, "How do you think it is fair that I do EVERYTHING for our child and you do nothing???"  I mean, is it the MLC? Or were they always like that?

I'm happy you are healing RT. It is such a hard thing to do after all we've been through.

And of course you are irreplaceable my dear. OW has nothing on you, and she knows it.  I love thinking about how jealous she will be when she finds out SIL went on that trip with you! Sorry. I know these things shouldn't cause me delight. But, I'm a tad immature like that.
Me 48
H 47
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline ReallytryingTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #45 on: October 12, 2019, 06:12:03 AM »
DF - I think you do get there eventually. Maybe you don’t trust as easily or as quickly. But I think there is a point where my desire for that connection overshadows my fear of being hurt again. Just this week I had a medical procedure that scared me and I wasn’t able to complete. I was very upset about it. I did not reach out for support as I was going through it. MourningDove reminded me that I didn’t have to carry everything alone. I think us LBS get so good at coping and managing we forget that burdens are easier if shared.

SF, KIT, Shelly - last night SIL sent me a pic of her confirmed itinerary. It really touched me that she’s flying in for the weekend to be there for my bday. She’s staying with me at my parents house. 90% of the time I don’t care but this time I do truly hope it upsets OW to know that even after all these years the bond of sisterhood and friendship between me and SIL is very solid. Since BD we’ve now had my 40th bday, her 40th and now coming up on my 45th and we have celebrated them all together. Kids and I are also planning to go to SIL for Christmas.

In the meantime my favorite baseball team is still in it 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

Offline Dumbfounded

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #46 on: October 12, 2019, 04:35:14 PM »
Sounds like you are cooking up a fun birthday weekend with SIL!!

My D told me the funniest you can never be replaced story. My speciality for the family events is deviled eggs. My nephew loved them!! He would shriek with delight when I arrived with my deviled eggs. It got so I started making two batches. One for the event and a private stash for nephew.

Anyway, D asked me if I could make them for her to take to Thanksgiving at dysfunction junction this year. I said well they are not really a Thanksgiving  thing... how about I make a loaf of pumpkin bread for you to take. She said no... I want to bring YOUR deviled eggs for nephew. She then proceeded to tell me that nephew has whined about my deviled eggs at every family function since BD. So xMIL made them at the last family function and D said they were awful. She said nephew announced that they weren’t as good as DFs. D said there they sat in the middle of the table staring at everyone.

D said the only thing she could think of that would be better would be for the deviled eggs in the middle of the table to actually be mine.

I think the LBS is a ghost at every family function OW attends. And I am sure SIL is not jetting off to celebrate OW’s birthday anytime soon!!

I hope that your medical issues are not serious and quickly resolved. (Hugs) I am glad you have MD to help you carry your troubles.
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline Savoir Faire

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #47 on: October 14, 2019, 03:05:20 AM »
Make sure you send deviled eggs to every function at dysfunction junction.  Love the thought of those staring at everyone there ;D
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #48 on: October 14, 2019, 03:28:27 AM »
RT,

Yes, it does become "matter of fact" that the LBS just sucks it up, smiles, and keeps on carrying on... and yes, it is VERY true that a shared burden is less of a burden... sometimes to the point that we no longer even consider it a burden... or at least that someone has our back, if you will...

@DF, you could put a half of a green olive with the pimento on each egg to REALLY make it look like an eye... or maybe a googly eye? <heh>

« Last Edit: October 22, 2019, 04:06:56 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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Offline Savoir Faire

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Re: Crazy Train to Nowhere - 8
« Reply #49 on: October 14, 2019, 03:30:56 AM »
Love it Ursa ;D
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

 

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