Author Topic: My Story Goodbye from MyBrainIsBroken  (Read 2435 times)

Offline MyBrainIsBrokenTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story Goodbye from MyBrainIsBroken
« on: July 05, 2019, 04:04:23 PM »
Hi!

This is MyBrainIsBroken. I'm writing to let everyone know that I'm leaving the forum.

I have to go because I don't like being the person I become when I'm posting on this site. I finally figured out what has been happening. Some posts, especially those that seem angry, critical, or judgmental, trigger my 6 year old self. Then my angry part, which is a protector part, rushes in to save her. I think it's probably best if she and I simply go away.

I came here almost 5 years ago, like many others, because I couldn't understand what happened to my wife. After reading the materials on the site I decided that it sounded like she was going through an MLC so I started researching to try to find out what MLC is since nobody seemed to know. The really strange part for me was, as I learned more about MLC, I gradually realized that I have been going through the same thing my wife is going through. I still can't tell any of you what MLC is for your spouse but I know now what MLC is for me and I'm reasonably certain that I know what it is for my wife. That's good enough for me.

I'm going to start hanging out at the DID forum at psychforums.com where I hope to learn more about the disorder that my wife and I have. Now that I know that we have dissociative disorders I don't feel that I belong on an MLC forum but I'm kind of excited about taking the next step in my journey.

If any of my parts wrote anything that offended any of you I will try to convince them that they should feel some remorse. That's the best that I can do right now. The angry part is a pretty tough nut to crack! :D

So, like my new forum name says,

Goodbye and Good Luck!

Offline Thunder

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Re: Goodbye from MyBrainIsBroken
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2019, 04:31:06 PM »
Aw MB I always felt you belonged here but if you have figured out this is not the best place for you, I honestly understand.  Thank you for all your kindness and support.

You have to find a place where you feel understood and comfortable.  We all do, for our healing.

I hope you will visit from time to time, with maybe some updates on how you are doing, because I will miss you tremendously, my friend.

{{Big Hug and love}}
Thunder
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline Mitzpah

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Re: Goodbye from MyBrainIsBroken
« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2019, 04:32:06 PM »
I will miss you
M 57
H 57
S 27
D 24
BD 13 Dec 2010
Divorced 27 Feb 2015 (30 years marriage)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

Offline Treasur

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Re: Goodbye from MyBrainIsBroken
« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2019, 04:53:36 PM »
Thank you for helping me to learn more and think better. I will miss you too. Godspeed x
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

Offline megogirl

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Re: Goodbye from MyBrainIsBroken
« Reply #4 on: July 05, 2019, 05:54:56 PM »
Brain

It is only because of you that I researched the definition of "dissociative fugue" as a semi-newbie.  You'd compared the effects of MLC to one, so I just had to find out...and of course, you nailed it.

Godspeed and you know the door's always open
« Last Edit: July 05, 2019, 05:58:07 PM by megogirl »

Offline xyzcf

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Re: Goodbye from MyBrainIsBroken
« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2019, 07:03:20 PM »
There are a very few left who see MLC the way you and I do.

I am sorry you are leaving.

Like me, you have continued to love your wife and see that there is something "wrong" with her. And for that, you are criticized and ridiculed and made to feel unwanted.

Shame of all the naysayers and people who judge.

Take good care of yourself.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

Offline 1trouble

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Re: Goodbye from MyBrainIsBroken
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2019, 01:05:51 AM »
Brain

I saw your posts yesterday and all I saw in your final post was a sense of frustration so you said a few things which to me were not that bad as I could see you were frustrated and not being able to get your point across ….THAT WAS IT...


BUT for some reason on here these days, people seem to be so oversensitive....and so then one word can get jumped all over ….
look at what happened with the thread I started to give people the chance to vent about the OW and what happened to the 'alien' word being used....its getting ridiculous IMO

Anyone who has read your posts over the years would be able to see, it was only frustration and you would never wish someone harm but its this sort of mob mentality where people wade in when they smell blood that will be the downfall of this site in the end and it is why I do not post here very much any more and I know others who feel the same.
I have no doubt many newbies are reading and frightened to post in case they cause offence and sadly I would think that would include people who are COMING out of MLC too...
( because I bet there are people who find this site trying to make sense of what has happened ot them)

I wish you well Brain and hope this will only be timeout for you and you will come back from time to time to let us know how things are and I truly hope your wife finds her way into the light xx
« Last Edit: July 06, 2019, 01:07:02 AM by 1trouble »
"I can't go back to yesterday I was a different person then"..............Alice in Wonderland

you NEVER know how strong you are, until being strong is the ONLY choice you have"

Offline Milly

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Re: Goodbye from MyBrainIsBroken
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2019, 02:36:58 AM »
Good luck, Brain.
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

Offline Airmid

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Re: Goodbye from MyBrainIsBroken
« Reply #8 on: July 06, 2019, 03:12:01 AM »
Hi Brain -

I think each of us has to choose what is that best path for their own healing.
You have been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (which used to be referred to a multiple personality disorder - for those not familiar with the DID term).
This disorder has its own unique challenges - and although this forum can be sympathetic - its focus, nor it's expertise is not specific to your situation.

Part of self care is to recognize the need and seek the appropriate support for what we need to heal.
I applaud your decision to find a forum/place where you will be able to learn and get support about your disorder. 

All the best!

Offline Keep believing

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Re: Goodbye from MyBrainIsBroken
« Reply #9 on: July 06, 2019, 08:16:53 AM »
What is DID

 

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