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Author Topic: My Story I just found out I am an LBS

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My Story I just found out I am an LBS
#120: March 16, 2020, 02:59:57 AM
Quote
Empathy bypass.
Well, we all know what that looks like, Little Wing  :)

You sound not too bad at all if that is any encouragement.
Don't be afraid of how detaching feels....fwiw I think it pendulums a bit between indifference and attachment, between cold and hot, before we find our balance with it.
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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I just found out I am an LBS
#121: March 17, 2020, 08:16:06 AM
Thanks Treasur

I dont feel too bad actually!  I think I am reaching the stage of my life journey that I have decided to thrive rather than just survive.

I am starting to believe that I deserve better than what my W can currently offer, and am accepting that she may never be able to give me what i deserve.

I am also accepting that I may always love her even though I dislike her and probably need to be separate from her.

I am accepting of the unfairness of the whole thing and generally dont feel angry any more.

Detachment is really complex process, but once begun it gains momentum and it is difficult to stop, regardless of where it ends up.

Thank you for your encouragement T

LW
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I just found out I am an LBS
#122: March 23, 2020, 01:42:56 AM
Hi All

quick update. 

W was supposed to go to her first meeting with mediator last Wednesday.  She mentioned nothing about this until I asked on Friday and she said the meeting had been postponed until Monday due to Covid.

She has been rather cold of late and anxious about the virus.

I feel detached and numb.

I am still in work as I work with vulnerable children and hope that you are all keeping safe in your lives.

LW
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I just found out I am an LBS
#123: April 08, 2020, 01:29:57 AM
Hi All

just a quick update:

I am still in work with vulnerable young people part time.  This breaks up the week in lockdown and gets me away from tension in house a bit, so work is a relief!
I am generally feeling detached from my MLC W, and although I still cycle a little, I am starting to feel my self image improve as time goes on.

I feel that I have maintained some dignity and self control under exceptionally challenging circumstances and that makes me feel good about myself.

There is no movement on mediation or D with lockdown, but I still wish to pursue this when the lockdown ends.

I do feel guilt about this decision, especially when I think about telling the kids, but I cant carry on like this.  Barring a miracle I cannot see there being any reconciliation.
I cannot carry on taking the blame for lost opportunities and need to share my life with someone who has some respect for me.

My W is gone, but my life continues.

My love goes out to all on HS at this challenging time and especially to those on lockdown with their MLCr - who knew it could get even harder?

stay safe

LW
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