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Author Topic: Discussion  Old Timers thread 6

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Discussion Re: Old Timers thread 6
#30: August 22, 2019, 03:29:19 PM
Hi Air

Nice to hear an update - always knew you would make the most of your life!  Hope the plans go well for next year - often think of you even on the other side of the world !!  Big shout out to the LBS with married ex’s - SB /treasur/1t

SCx
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« Last Edit: August 22, 2019, 03:46:39 PM by Strongcurrent »

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Re: Old Timers thread 6
#31: August 22, 2019, 04:20:24 PM
Thank for updating your story, Air. Glad to know things are going well for you.

Another who believes some people remain in MLC.
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Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

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Re: Old Timers thread 6
#32: August 23, 2019, 12:39:19 AM
Thanks for updating us, Air. I remember following as you did up the beach rentals. Seems like years ago. So happy to hear you're doing well from it and will be retiring well next year.
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D26, D23, S16
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

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Re: Old Timers thread 6
#33: August 23, 2019, 09:17:02 AM
Hello OldTimers :) Just to show that I am alive and kicking ! :)

About money. I spend 10000 € to make my home as I want it, and guess what I have same amount of money as I has before that ?! You have to question self, how that is possible ? We has 2 salaries and 4 people. Then we have one salary, alimony and 3 people. Daughter went to live with boyfriend and now we have one salary and one alimony and two of us. :D

Go figure ! I said that to wife and she remain silent. Where the hell all of that money goes before she left ?

 
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Re: Old Timers thread 6
#34: August 23, 2019, 09:49:25 AM
Albatross  -

That is the big question.  I ask that myself.
I did turn the rental properties around and they now make money -
but they were all making some money before. 
The real estate bleed was not that severe with xH and me together.

My lifestyle has not really changed that drastically since H left.
(and xH left suddenly - with no financial help - his salary was $100K+)

What I now think is that xH was spending lots of money on OW and I didn't know it.
I also know xH indulged himself a lot.
Weekly trips to the barber for haircuts or shaves.
Weekly massage appointments.
He had to send all his shirts out to the dry cleaners as he didn't think I or our maid ironed them properly.
He went to a very expensive gym.
He ate out at restaurants every day for lunch at work (no expense account).
We often ate out for dinners because he felt like it.
His spending was always excessive.
He bought at the designer stores for men - spending $50 - $100 for a business shirt was nothing.
He bought very expensive shoes - and he had more shoes than Imelda Marcos.
When he was clearing out his stuff he took out 4 large suitcases of shoes alone.
He thought nothing of going into Home Depot and spending tons of money on tools - he always had to have the best of the best. I
t was not uncommon for his to have a $400 impulse buy at Home Depot.
In summary - he was a spender.

I bet if you examine your situation - you might see something similar.


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Re: Old Timers thread 6
#35: August 23, 2019, 09:57:01 AM
I agree with this, Albatross.

You'll probably never hear the truth, but at least the bleeding has stopped now.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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Re: Old Timers thread 6
#36: August 23, 2019, 11:03:21 AM
Hmmm, Air...don't recall that his Affair Down new life sounded quite so schmancy  ???
And if it is, then how lovely that ow got an aging liability with poor returns lol.
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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Re: Old Timers thread 6
#37: August 24, 2019, 06:22:27 AM
Wow just replace 4 suitcases of shoes with video games and that sums up Beast.

No money because he constantly haemorrhaged it on 'lunches' 'coffees' and video games he never had time to play.  ::)

Now he has his full pay check, living with MIL..yet still only has ''£20 a week for food''....

How is that possible when I have a mortgage, bills, three kids to feed, yet still manage to spend £60-100 a week to feed them!  :o

Oh wait it probably has something to do with the new PS4, giant TV, laptop, Tablet, and all the concert tickets...  ::)
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Re: Old Timers thread 6
#38: August 24, 2019, 06:52:36 AM
I have to tell you Morte -
it boggles my mind how on earth my xH seems to be broke - when he should be rolling in dough.

I do know that in the first 6 months when Ostrich left, he racked up 18K in credit card debt.
This was so out of character for him - a man who always paid his credit cards in full at the end of every month.

I recently came across a bit of info regarding xH - he is selling his rental property. 
It is in a college town and it is a 4 unit rental.

Something about this makes no sense.
I talked to LP about it this morning.
I asked,
"Why would you sell a rental unit with no mortgage on it,
that makes a minimum of 2K each month after expenses (24K a year),
when it runs like a machine, always rents easily to students,
you live 5 minutes away from the house - so easy to check up on it?"

One might say - well xH wants to buy a new home for him and the ruminant.
But think about this - the OW lived in a small house (also near his rental) and there was practically no mortgage on it. 
At the time xH left (post BD) he was making 120K plus the income on his rental units.
Being extremely conservative - his monthly take home was about 7K a month.

So he is paying hardly any rent - probably has no travel expenses to work as he would be driving a car provided by the office. 
How the heck do you not have boatloads of cash after 5 years of extremely reduced expenses?
In my estimate - he could have easily saved $250K since he left. Not to mention - with his salary it would be really easy to get a mortgage.  When he left he had considerable money in investments.

Like you Morte - I am doing a lot more on significantly less income.

Also somewhat baffling was seeing the photos of the house as it now is shown on the market.
It is in rough shape. 
Really shocking considering Ostrich always took pride in the house and always landscaped it beautifully.
Over the years there were beautiful gardens installed - but now the place looks like Grey Gardens.

And the final kicker that really makes me laugh.. who do you think is the listing realtor?
OW!  LOL this woman who I don't think even finished his school is now a realtor?
And who is she working for?  XH's real estate friend.  Her one and only house listing is xH's house!

I just shake my head at all of this.
 
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« Last Edit: August 24, 2019, 07:01:20 AM by Airmid »

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Re: Old Timers thread 6
#39: August 24, 2019, 12:52:18 PM
Crazy stuff air - sounds like ostrich owes money somewhere else as it makes no sense to sell a viable rental which could be used as collateral on a loan for a house if that’s what he is up to.

It is amazing how we survive - when Exh first left he did contribute a lot .  I secured a mortgage on our fab property - used in an advertisement recently and even though my both kids are over 18 - which in NZ law when exH payments ceased - I am able to pay the mortgage, support the kids thru university and travel .... and my retirement fund is intact!

My exh was a spender - he earnt big but spent big - never saved - not sure how he is surviving now he is in Memphis on minimum wage supporting 3 kids ... I have had the odd email particularly the one where he saw the advert the house was in - said how great it looked and how it was nice to see certain paintings etc - totally in Lala land .

Take care SCx
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« Last Edit: August 24, 2019, 12:54:04 PM by Strongcurrent »

 

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