[Albatross]

Mine do classical wallower MLCer script. There were all possible warning signs. I knew it that she is going to fall apart. Most painful was watching and you can't do nothing about.

[sada]

My h asked me to "wait."
He was asking me to let him carry on as he was, having an affair, with all that entailed, coming home only when he felt like it, living his alternative life while I sat home "waiting."  Not expecting anything from him, except financially, and not asking any questions. He would never in a MILLION years have come up with this falacy were he not in mlc.

I declined his offer.  2 days later he went to work & didn't come back.
A text he sent me 3 days after he abandoned me:

Please find it in your heart to forgive me.I have made a fool of myself and you do not deserve such foul treatment.My life is nothing without you.My time is short and it should be appreciated.I thank you for what you have done for me and keeping me grounded.I will text you tomorrow if God willing.I love you and the kids.
I will turn off my phone until tomorrow and think about what is important in life
The time is short and so near.

I thought this meant that either he was coming back or he was gonna commit suicide.
I later found out that earlier this same day he had leased an apartment for him & ow, a 1 year lease!

[Treasur]

I'd forgotten the shark eyes.
Most chilling thing I've ever seen.
Made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
Didn't know what it was but I knew my h was no longer normal, let alone himself.

[Anjae]

My h asked me to "wait."

Mr J also asked me to "wait". That was almost 13 years ago. 

Mr J did not had dead eyes for almost 3 years after BD. His eyes have been mostly dead since the second half of 2009, but more recently, now and then there is a tiny spark.

Not that I think it matters of makes much of a difference. His Replay started years before the dead eyes and most certainly will carry on after the eyes get back to normal or close to normal.

[OffRoad]

Being as I had a wallower, I missed so many things until it all came together at BD.
Interest in exercise that lasted until he noticed the woman were better at it than he was
Desire to play basketball with work buddies until he jammed his finger
Took up surfing and insisted the whole family not only join him, but required to have "fun" doing it
No one was allowed to have an opinion
He took anyone else's side in a disagreement except the side of the kids or i. Even if the was no question of what the correct answer was.
Played "dozer" for hours on his cell phone.
Played Cookie something on his computer for hours. (You made money points for baking cookies)
Was suddenly afraid of everything, from heights to spiders when he had never been afraid before
Needed a "brightly colored" car
Left the door wide open after leaving for work. Not unlocked, open.
Shaved his head. Got upset because no one liked it.
Wrecked his car (maybe so he could get a brightly colored one)
"Lost" his wedding ring while surfing
Lost his job, blamed everyone else for it (he was being a jerk to everyone at this point)

When it ramped up:
He hadn't bent happy in several/5/10 insert years here.
I wasn't happy according to him, and was NEVER happy
Said we should never have had our son (the one he convinced to come live with him for college)
Took hardly anything when he moved out but kept sneaking in while I was at work and taking joint belongings, not his own
Spent over $20000 in one month, and he could not say on what.

It's not Hello Kitty and lollipops, that I think I would have noticed right off.

[sparklestar]

This thread is fascinating!

I’ve never understood what was behind the shark eyes? What actually is the reason / cause for what we explain as shark/dead or black eyes!?

[Anjae]

I’ve never understood what was behind the shark eyes? What actually is the reason / cause for what we explain as shark/dead or black eyes!?

Depression.

[One day at a time]

Disclaimer: I have doubted MLC many times, sometimes I still do although now I don't feel it's that important anymore. Yet there are things that made/make me go... Yep! MLC 

My first big red flag was when H suddenly wanted to have kids after 15 years of saying he didn't.. At first I was very shocked but I actually believed it.. And then it came the constant "I'm not happy" speech, overreacting to things that were not a big deal, nearly panicking over nothing.  Constant working out and shaving his chest, saying he was old (40) Not enjoying life or anything he enjoyed before. Looked depressed, withdrawn and overall apathetic. This combo made me think MLC, I didn't understand what MLC was exactly but it was the only explanation I could find.. And H even agreed sometimes but that didn't really help in any way.

After H left and for a good few months I thought maybe I was wrong.. Maybe his unhappiness was down to me and that's why he wanted to leave... After months of wallowing, H left his job, left the country and moved to a place he hates and away from his family who he said he wanted to live close to. He bought the typical flashy car and his OW is someone who he wouldn't have looked at twice before. When I mention the last 2 sentences to anyone who knows him, their face goes a bit    So I'm guessing they agree with the MLC diagnosis!

[Acorn]

H looked right though our kids as if they did not exist.  This from a guy who could hardly talk about them without getting a little teary because his heart overflowed with so much love for them.  Poor kids...   Their hearts were broken. 

[Anjae]

... saying he was old (40)

Mr J was old at 36 and my cousin who had MLC at 37. They both thought they were running out of time, and, in Mr J's case, only had know to do "this" (this was never explained).  Never mind it has been over a decade and "this" become his life. 

When I mention the last 2 sentences to anyone who knows him, their face goes a bit    So I'm guessing they agree with the MLC diagnosis!

I still get the  facial expression from people who know pre-MLC Mr J. Especially the ones who hear him djing since the music is very far from what his tastes used to be. If I tell them a bit more of all that has happened, they really look 

Pretty much all the guys who knews us since we become a couple, including several who knew Mr before we were a couple say he is having a life crisis/MLC.

In Mr J's case I think it got to a point where he become the MLC person. Maybe I'm wrong.