Author Topic: My Story I forgot that you existed  (Read 1203 times)

Online stillbaffled

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My Story Re: I forgot that you existed
« Reply #20 on: September 03, 2019, 05:29:11 PM »

I had to laugh at UM's comment because the minister was (in as much as Presbyterians get) in a he!!fire and damnation mood - at one point waving his arms and telling us we could not just put on the clothes and come sit in the pew and be saved - it required us to DO certain things and ACT a certain way to be a disciple of God.  Unfortunately, MOO2 and LB weren't in their assigned 3rd and 4th row pews to hear it. BUT the minister announced he is doing a sermon series on what is means to be a disciple of God for the next 12 weeks!!  So they will have chance to catch up.

Pretty sure that those sermons are going to go right over their heads!  Those "shoes" would never fit the lovely folks in row 3 and row 4!  Maybe if the minister did a powerpoint and used some examples....... ::)


Hey, nice work being the responsible parent and teaching the lesson about keeping our promises and not shafting somebody when something better comes along.  It's not fun to have out kids mad at us but it's what good parents do.  Good job, DF! 

I would love the History Museum, but I'll go with you and D!   ;)
BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: I forgot that you existed
« Reply #21 on: September 04, 2019, 01:51:44 AM »
Ironically, I get to preach again this coming Sunday and being a disciple is also the "theme of the day" but apparently in a different context....

Our Gospel Reading is what I call "The Hate Speech" from Luke ("If you do not hate your <fill in the blank>, you can not be my disciple") which is one that either the preacher immediately causes people to check out and shut down or, like our Priest, they get someone ELSE to preach on it...  ;D so they don't incur the wrath of the congregation.... We'll see how I do ;)
Me - 56
STBXW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline DumbfoundedTopic starter

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Re: I forgot that you existed
« Reply #22 on: September 04, 2019, 10:31:06 AM »
SB I quite agree - MOO2 and LB don't think there is anything wrong with them so they are not going to be paying attention anyway.

But the Luke Hate Speech might actually work for them if they don't overthink it.  I always wonder how the translation worked out there.  Maybe it is not so much "hate" but perhaps "love me more".  Because Jesus is trying to convey to the people the actual price of discipleship. The membership dues if you will.  Let's face it, following Jesus was probably not going to make your life better back then.... you were going to have to pack your worldly belongings into a bag you could carry and leave your friends and family... who maybe were not so supportive of you, following some crazy Jesus guy around AND possibly be considered a criminal and sentenced to death. Not exactly the life a parent wants for junior. I don't think Jesus was advocating hate to anybody ..... he is trying to give it to them straight.  This membership isn't for the Momma's boy... you are going to cause the people who love you a lot of grief if not put them in danger, you are going to have enemies, be a criminal hunted by the authorities, not living a comfortable lifestyle, homeless, maybe even die.... you are going to look like a fool if you come home after a week because your socks got wet, your Momma is heartbroken and people were mean to you.

But I digress.... good luck UM!!                     
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline sparklestar

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Re: I forgot that you existed
« Reply #23 on: September 04, 2019, 03:35:59 PM »
Well DF it’s been a while but I have just read through your last thread and I have loved catching up on your story.... Nailing it!!!

Firstly Pineapple Queen  ;D  It’s both a baffling yet joyful moment when you realise the OW is trying to copy you - I’ve had it and it’s just insane. A beautiful example of how nutty they are. I mean did they think no one would notice and think wtf? I really should update my thread with my stories it’s just cray cray...

Secondly LB - oh wow my blood was boiling over the tax rebate and well all of it! He really is a piece of work and yet so pathetic.

But you handled it all like a pro, you’re on top, you’re getting the validation that you’ve come out on top and that’s brilliant!

Absolutely smashing it!

Offline DumbfoundedTopic starter

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Re: I forgot that you existed
« Reply #24 on: September 04, 2019, 06:49:21 PM »
Thanks Sparkle!! You should tell a tale or two on my thread so I don’t feel so alone in my Pineapple Queen adventures. It is certainly is a level of cra cra that RL people just don’t get.

It is like the trip to museum the other day. LB is a history buff. I have been dragging people to historical things my whole life. My brother can tell you how I ruined every family vacation growing up by dragging everyone to historical sites. This is a museum LB and I would have enjoyed together in another life. MOO2? Spending a holiday at a history museum. That is a new development.

LB didn’t appear at basketball tonight. About a half hour AFTER practice I got a message from him that he could not pick up S at basketball because he had “unexpected ended up at the doctor”. I don’t even know what that means.

 
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: I forgot that you existed
« Reply #25 on: September 05, 2019, 02:22:53 AM »
DF, you just condensed my 1300 word sermon into a single paragraph... But that is exactly the point I'm making as well....
Me - 56
STBXW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline DumbfoundedTopic starter

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Re: I forgot that you existed
« Reply #26 on: September 13, 2019, 11:05:29 AM »
I am badly in need of a venting session my LBS friends.

This week has been a very bad no good rotten kind of week. Sunday evening started off with S dropping a bag of canned good on his foot.  Up all night with S and his hurting foot. 

Monday I had to cancel all my work appointments, deal with the insurance and take S to the doctor and then to have his foot x-rayed while my Mom was at the vet with her dying cat. Meanwhile, D is texting me that the blinkers on her car don't work. I forgot my phone at home with all the confusion and when I got to the doctor's there was no ID in my purse... missing, gone, disappeared. So, there I am trying to juggle motherhood and career with no phone and no ID.  Turns out x-ray is negative but S has a hemotoma and we do this dance about if he should be referred to ortho to drain the hemotoma. In the end, it takes 3 doctors to decide no and we are sent home to ice, elevate and take over the counter pain medicine. I get home to D who is melting down over the fact that the book for her college class hasn't come in to the bookstore and she has homework due.  We find the book on Amazon, cancel the bookstore order, blinkers are now working again and I fall asleep on the couch after cleaning up dinner at 7:30 not knowing what happened with the cat.     

Tuesday - S is up all night with pain, dying with his boo boo foot and my sister is having a meltdown because her son has been crying for two hours because he doesn't like preschool and she has to go to the dentist. Cat is sent home with kidney failure. Trying to regroup from my cancelled Monday at work and LB's Aunt is calling me at work crying and crying about her legal woes.  I get home to a broken A/C  and a fall heatwave.  I fuss with the A/C and get it working again and then rearrange S's basketball schedule because he is now on the DL.  First message to LB to tell him S is injured and won't make basketball lessons. I get a helpful "Thanks for letting me know" reply.  The reply just feels sarcastic to me. You know evil me keeping everything secret from him - like telling him would make any difference to anyone.  Because I talked until my face was blue 3 years ago and he utterly ignored us.  So forgive me if I am not giving you hourly updates on your kids. My annoyance starts to brew.  Really? How about oh no! what happened? How can I be of assistance to you and the boy?  What did the doctor say? Jerk.   

Wednesday brings a new wave of hysteria from S with his foot.  Back on the phone with the doctor. Changing pain meds.  Still no sign of my ID.  Cat is eating. A/C poops out again and leaks water all over the floor. Off to pick up new medicine for S. Taking tough love approach with nephew... SIL has major meltdown because other nephew is leaving for college on Saturday. Call the repair guy and try to schedule A/C repair around my now destroyed work week and MY doctors appointment.  Everyone is hot and cranky.

Thursday S is foot's finally showing improvement. Leave work early for my doctor, rush from doctor to meet A/C repairman. Waiting for A/C guy when D calls on her way home from college to say she is broken down on side of road. Leave boo boo foot with the A/C guy to go get D. Come home deal with A/C repair and then go back out with crying D have car towed to garage at 10:00 last night. Come home to message on machine from LB's Aunt crying again.

This morning I have to drop D at high school at 7:00. I wake up an hour earlier and recruit my Mom to pick D up this afternoon. On the way, I pass LB coming out of xMIL's development. My brain starts to explode.  It must be really nice to get up in the morning and just have to worry about yourself.  Come and go when you want. He pulls out in back of me and starts to follow us.  D is sulking in the passenger seat about her car.  She glances in the mirror and I can tell she sees him. I can also tell by the look on her face she is having a similar reaction to mine.... she then says I think I am going to sleep over friend's house tonight.  I ask if she needs a ride or she is going after dinner with Dad. She snorts and says she is going to see if friend can pick her up in the afternoon. Well, ok then.

We stop for a school bus and I glance back and, no lie, LB is like 5 car lengths behind us stopped. I guess my truck has cooties. At the next side street, he turns left.  An obvious detour as he has to now wind through a development to get anywhere.  Pity party over. I would rather be the LBS everyday and twice on Tuesday because whatever he is feeling in that car is not worth the quiet morning. 

I stop at LB's Aunt on the way in to work and pick up her papers and call my Mom to check on the sick cat.  My Mom tells me that MOO2 house is under contract and she and the kids are moving to her parents house.  Yep - I pick LBS anyday.                                                           
« Last Edit: September 13, 2019, 11:09:52 AM by Dumbfounded »
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline Milly

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Re: I forgot that you existed
« Reply #27 on: September 13, 2019, 12:33:18 PM »
Sorry for your nightmare week, DF. Sounds very familiar sadly. I hope your S's foot starts healing quickly.

Amazing how you just put one foot in front of the other and resolve everyone's problems. Just reading about your week makes my heart beat faster. I hope you're off for the weekend now and can dedicate some time to yourself.
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

Offline Tyks

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Re: I forgot that you existed
« Reply #28 on: September 13, 2019, 02:00:52 PM »
Omg, yes, living life as if you are the only one that matters. I have had those thoughts as well. I'm sorry you had a tough week, but you're right, lbs any day. Straighten the crown, girlfriend, you still got this !
Me 49
Him 49
22 years together - Married 20
BD1 - August 26, 2016 - ILYBINILWY
BD 2 - August 28, 2016 - OW discovered EA - Kicked him out
D16 D19
April 2017 - Legal Separation Agreement
August 2017 - I filed for divorce
Divorce final February 12 2018

Offline strawberry

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Re: I forgot that you existed
« Reply #29 on: September 13, 2019, 06:39:43 PM »
What a sucky week......OTH, look how awesome you are for surviving it and solving all those problems like the bada$$ you are.
H: 44
M: 45
M: 2003, T: 2001, Friends: 1996
No kids
2 dogs, 2 cats
BD1 (Summer 2014) "We aren't happy, I should move out, we should divorce"  Nothing happened.
Nov 2014 we moved across the country for H's job
BD2 (July 2015) "I'm not happy.  I want a divorce"  H moves out for 2 weeks.
BD3 (Nov 2017) H takes a new job 2 hours away and moves out.
BD4 (September 2018) OW2 discovered despite claims there has never been one.  She outs MOW1 and discloses that H filed for Divorce, but has not served me.  OW2 dumps him.

 

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