Author Topic: My Story Thread 35 - Done and Dusted  (Read 2323 times)

Offline Finding Joy

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My Story Re: Thread 35 - Done and Dusted
« Reply #90 on: November 08, 2019, 04:17:22 PM »
Congratulations on your new role!  That is exciting!  I hope Christmas with your kids and friends is wonderful!!!
Married 19 years
Husband is 42
I am 39

BD1-April 2018-Unrecognized by me until way later, he is unhappy, wants counseling.
BD2-October 2018-ILYBNIL, wants a divorce, this after I found out about OW 1(EA), Unsure if he and OW2(PA) are still together?
April 2019 He got an apartment and moved out.

4 kids 5-14 years

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Offline ember

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Re: Thread 35 - Done and Dusted
« Reply #91 on: November 08, 2019, 08:42:46 PM »
Congratulations!!! SO happy for you. I wonder if you would have done this had MLC never reared it's ugly head in your life?
I only ask because so many new wonderful things have happened to me since my exH's MLC that never would have happened otherwise. 
Enjoy the holidays, Im interested to see how your ex handles it.


Online Puzzled

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Re: Thread 35 - Done and Dusted
« Reply #92 on: November 09, 2019, 05:24:39 AM »
Ursa, I'm very happy for you that your Vestry is supporting you fully and is recommending you for ordination. Surprised? Not one bit!  :D
Me: 48 (43 at BD1)
H: 53 (48 at BD1)
D: 11 (6 at BD1)
Met in 1995, married since 2000
BD 1: August 2014
BD 2: October 2015, H moved abroad
August 2018: Received divorce papers in the mail unexpectedly
May 2019: H gave up his job and moved about 1.5 hours to where D11 and I live

Offline beyondblessed

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Re: Thread 35 - Done and Dusted
« Reply #93 on: November 09, 2019, 06:48:19 AM »
Congratulations!!! SO happy for you. I wonder if you would have done this had MLC never reared it's ugly head in your life?
I only ask because so many new wonderful things have happened to me since my exH's MLC that never would have happened otherwise. 
Enjoy the holidays, Im interested to see how your ex handles it.


All of this.  Blessings in disguise, if you let it all just be.

Offline UrsaMajorTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Thread 35 - Done and Dusted
« Reply #94 on: November 09, 2019, 06:53:39 AM »
@Ember - the answer to your question is absolutely not. xW was NOT supportive of anything having to do with the church. FIL(RIP) was a total "Do what I say, not what I do" Roman Catholic that could talk the talk but couldn't walk the walk to save his life. That put xW off on anything having to do with organized religion.

I'm witnessing a karma bus drive-by and trying really hard to be a decent human and not gloat just a bit. xW's Landlord is being a major Richard and is pulling tricks that are not even legal. Basically, xW has to sign a new lease for an extra 300 Euros per month or move. Plus, he says if she goes to a. Lawyer or legal aid for renters, he'll just sell the flat...

She was complaining because that gives her 3 months to find a place and move. I zipped my lips and said nothing but I am SURE my face was saying "I had 2 months after you decided to bail out to find a place and move so if you are expecting pity from me, you're barking up the wrong tree..."

I'm not feeling particularly happy with where my thoughts are going at the moment because vengeance is not a nice emotions.....
« Last Edit: November 09, 2019, 06:56:02 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline seahorse

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Re: Thread 35 - Done and Dusted
« Reply #95 on: November 09, 2019, 07:04:16 AM »
WELL...  UM
So glad that you're able to pursue what YOU want to do vis=a-vis the clergy.
And as beyond blessed said - "blessings in disguise"

You didn't cause the Karma bus to drive by, but sometimes it's satisfying to see the person who caused us so much pain and hurt get their "just rewards"?  Also not very nice, but I think it's something we can't help but feel, just a little, as we've been so hurt and inujured with little or no concern from them.
Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline Thunder

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Re: Thread 35 - Done and Dusted
« Reply #96 on: November 09, 2019, 07:08:28 AM »
UM, I don't think it's so much revengeful.

I never wished any harm on my H but all I ever said was, I would like him, for just one day, to experience what I went through.   

Your xw probably didn't even remember you only had 2 months to move.
You could have said... "Oh yes, I only had 2 months to move.  It's not easy."
Then zip it.

Just as a tiny reminder.. ;D

Ok is rarebit just like a cheese dish or sauce?  What to you serve it with? 
I never heard of it before. 
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline readytofixmyselffirst

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Re: Thread 35 - Done and Dusted
« Reply #97 on: November 09, 2019, 07:32:47 AM »
Hello,

I agree with Thunder, it is when the perpetrator of the crime experiences the same injustice as the victim. Now, you know how it feels. The only difference is that your ex is dealing with a landlord and the relationship is strictly business. In your situation, it was your most trusted partner- a complete betrayal. I don't think she has experienced that.

I do want to congratulate on your new role. The entire process is very interesting. Are these people aware that you have posted GIFs from the "Life of Brian"?  However LOL I do wish you well on your endeavors. I am also glad that you are pulling your family back together and your children will know how much you love and care for them.

Have an amazing weekend and try you best to stay off the bus to Hades!

Ready

"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

Offline ember

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Re: Thread 35 - Done and Dusted
« Reply #98 on: November 09, 2019, 10:41:56 PM »
It's hard not to take a little pleasure in their pain, when "what goes around, comes around".
Let her spin, see how well she handles it.

Online Treasur

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Re: Thread 35 - Done and Dusted
« Reply #99 on: November 10, 2019, 12:55:11 AM »
As Ready says, not the same thing at all.
But I think it's ok to observe the reality of consequences as part of the process...how else do humans learn really? And behind any small yah boo sucks to be you feeling, I would guess that you hope your xw will start to grow up enough to own her choices and the real impact of them...and feeling discomfort is probably part of that process right? Just as you were forced to do.
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

 

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