Author Topic: My Story BURNING MAN 14  (Read 2600 times)

Online WatcherTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story Re: BURNING MAN 14
« Reply #100 on: October 11, 2019, 11:54:30 AM »
So I finally saw S16 and walked with him home after school today. He was very happy to see me as we embraced. I was equally happy to see him.

He hit me with his well well well, look who it is line.

Of course he is in Catholic School as that was no secret. He plays the base drum at school and attends all the football games.

The phone I brought him in April was lost. IDK if I'm buying that one. So he has a new iPhone and asked if I wanted his new number which I accepted. He asked if I would start coming around more often which I said yes. We could arrange seeing each other via texts I advised.

He knows nothing of the divorce and I simply told him I haven't been around because I am waiting permission from the Court to visit in order to prevent any more police calls when I'm at the house.

IDK. I haven't seen him in 4.5 months. I'm not dropping the divorce on him today.

He has started running and is now down to 182 lbs from 236. He wants to lose 10 more lbs and overall he looks beautiful.  ;D

He has informed me that S19 is at my alma mater. A 4 yr 35,000 a year university. Knowing that he can only borrow 5,500 dollars as a freshman, how on earth did W pull this one off. Yes it's also her alma mater and S19 would receive an alumni discount but something is clearly wrong here.

S16 says well if S19 got in, then I'm definitely going to that school myself dad. Nice.

S16 was vague about how S19 gets to school. I asked if he lives there and he says no. He also said he didn't know how he got to school and finally said his mom took him. Its BS and I didn't push the issue.

I guess he could be living there. Again. How ? Things have been quiet at the house and his mom is around more often. I did not ask. He volunteered most of the information as I never press by asking questions.

I think that was it. I'm stunned about the college and who is paying for all this pricey education at the moment. Something seriously doesn't feel right here.

Ok I will be back later.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2019, 11:56:59 AM by Watcher »

Offline Thunder

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Re: BURNING MAN 14
« Reply #101 on: October 11, 2019, 12:23:49 PM »
Watcher,

I have tears reading your post.

I'm so happy you got to see your son and have plans to meet with him more.
He is so funny with his "Well, well, well's."   :)  I'm sure he looked beautiful. 

There isn't much you can do about what or how you W is managing all this.
I'm sure you will find out eventually through this process, and you may want to inform your L just so he knows.

The positives I see is they are both in school.  Even if your oldest is taking out students loans.
You both did.   :)

So maybe you pay child support for both for a few years.  It's not the end of the world and I know you would never feel bad about that.

 ;D I'm just happy you two talked.  Can't take this smile off my face.  LOL
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Online KeepItTogether

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Re: BURNING MAN 14
« Reply #102 on: October 11, 2019, 12:54:47 PM »
Yay--I agree with everything Thunder said--I am so happy for both you and S16 that you saw each other.  It's good for him and probably even better for you. ;)

I'm guessing there are a few private loans involved in S19's college. Very cool that it is your alma mater. Congrats!
Me 48
H 47
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline karmirtsaghik

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Re: BURNING MAN 14
« Reply #103 on: October 11, 2019, 01:52:05 PM »
Watcher,

I am so happy that you got to see your son, albeit shortly. It is good that he felt comfortable with you to talk and share some information. You can check your son's college enrollment with his SSN. If I were you I also would check my medical coverage. She could have terminated it again without telling you. I believe open season is about to start for Federal employees so you can make appropriate changes to your coverage.

I am a bit sceptical about lost the phone story. The phone probably was confiscated by your w.

Take care Watcher.

Online WatcherTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: BURNING MAN 14
« Reply #104 on: October 11, 2019, 04:08:58 PM »
Hi Thunder, KIT, Karm.

I had some patience and figured out the bus dropoff today. I have looked on other occasions and apparently I was always arriving late. I extended my hand to shake his as I didn't want to startle him or whatever and he hugged me. Of course I accepted his hug and told him that I loved him. So that was a positive.

Offering his new phone number to me and asking me if I could start coming around were also positives.

Informing me that things were quiet at home is his way of telling me he knows why I am not living there. I didn't bad mouth her nor the inlaws. I just told him things would work out.

He was very enthusiastic about school as he told me about his grades and the Band where he plays the big drum. He is going to try out for Track and Field.

I am off on Tuesday so I will meet him again and maybe I will take him out for a bit if he is willing. I don't want to add any stress to his life. We had a long walk, however,  I stopped short of the house and I think he was confused.

I can't go near it nor would I ever enter it. So we hugged it out and said our goodbyes.

For me it is absolutely never easy to go back. It takes a lot for me to find that courage because I know I'm exposing myself to that abuse again.

I'm tired of meeting the kids at school bus stops. I've been doing it now for almost 4.5 years. I'm tired of that neighborhood and I'm tired of that house. So I guess I broke the ice as I had to, and as,  I always have to in order to enter back into the boys lives after she discarded me.

Yea I know he knows the truth so I guess that's all that matters in the end.

I wish it would get easier and it never does. I know I can't abandon him. I saw it on his face. He is depending on me.

I went to Kickboxing afterwards and I will call my attorney on Monday. I'm really not happy with how this has not progressed. She continues to manipulate the non divorce.

Meanwhile she has made 2 huge educational decisions on her own. Did I not have a say in College ? Is there going to be financial implications for me ? She already won high school. So I got the lawyer and where is the benefit of my doing so at this moment.

This does not bode well for how we will sell this home. She has already proven that dragging out the process will work for her. The home sale will be no different IMO.

Crisis wise I'm to believe she is so far gone in the tunnel, YET, she worked to ensure that both boys were in school. The private school was a no brainer but a 4 year college is impressive.

So, then, is this crisis really only marital. She seems to function at work. She took care of enrolling the boys in school. She seems to function with her GF's. IDK, it seems like she just can't function with me.

So it's a bit bittersweet. I'm ecstatic that I got to see my son. On the other side, I'm tired of being punished. I did nothing wrong and I'm missing years of their lives.

He was 12 years old when this started and I marveled how he is now my height and such a good looking young man.

Hopefully this will start to move again at some point. I will.see S16 on Tuesday and see how it goes.

Thank you ladies


Online KeepItTogether

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Re: BURNING MAN 14
« Reply #105 on: October 11, 2019, 04:21:21 PM »
Watcher--it was incredibly brave of you to approach S16. I hope you  know that. You two will continue to have a wonderful father/son relationship b/c you want it. And it will happen.

As far as W "handling" college, well, I'd say she is triage-ing. My H does well in the work place too. Many of them can compartmentalize. They "seem" ok to all outside people, but well, they throw irons at their spouses and become freakishly attached to online personalities. It is NOT about the marriage. That is merely a convenient excuse for the damage they know (deep down) that they have done.

Me 48
H 47
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Online WatcherTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: BURNING MAN 14
« Reply #106 on: October 11, 2019, 04:57:39 PM »
KIT,

It just hit me now. No not the iron.  ::) In Oct 2015 I had just been removed by the police from our home and the boys witnessed it.

I went down to that same school bus stop, as today, and met S19. He was very tense upon seeing me that day. He always needed more work. So I had to reassure him that everything would be ok.

Yes I met him almost everyday freshman year at that stop and walked with him home reassuring him daily.

Here we are Oct 2019. Same bus stop, different son. He wasn't tense. He didn't need my reassuring. He just knew that I would be there one day and his hug did feel great.  ;D

I know your right in what you say.

Thank you

Online WatcherTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: BURNING MAN 14
« Reply #107 on: October 12, 2019, 03:33:36 PM »
So today I had to work and I ended up in Hartford, Connecticut for about an hour. I did a lot of driving. It took me about 3 hours to get home. Those who know the Merritt Parkway know that it only has 2 lanes.  :-\

Anyway I was in charge today so I had to work. It had the potential of being an overnight shift however things went south. So I had plans for tonight and didn't think I would be able to keep them.

So I drove another hour and a half south and landed in Philadelphia, PA for the Eric Church concert.  ;D Its like 75 degrees out tonight and just beautiful.

I brought a ticket from StubHub so IDK if this sh!te is going to work. I hope it does since it was just delivered today.  ::) The gates do not open until 7pm and I am starving.

However I do look really good. At least in my head anyway.  ::)

They have their baseball, basketball, hockey, and football stadiums in one general area. Very nice. This should be a 2.5 hrs concert as Eric Church is singing by himself.

This is the precursor to Luke Combs on Nov 21st.  ;D

I have a quick turnaround with a half marathon in the morning. I'm going to run that one slow.  ;) I do have a tendency to over schedule.

Then again I was married and always went home. I have to take advantage of being on my own for a bit. Some woman will corral me again eventually.  ;D At least that's my desire.  ;D

So I will know in about 30 minutes whether this ticket gains me entry or not.

Enjoy your night everyone

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: BURNING MAN 14
« Reply #108 on: October 12, 2019, 07:29:28 PM »

So I drove another hour and a half south and landed in Philadelphia, PA for the Eric Church concert.  ;D Its like 75 degrees out tonight and just beautiful.


I hope you got in and had a great time.   

It was 35 degrees here today with snow coming down.   :(
BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Online WatcherTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: BURNING MAN 14
« Reply #109 on: October 13, 2019, 08:57:24 AM »
"Since you turned the tables on me
I've been steady and learnin' lonely
Keepin' this turntable spinnin'
Everything from Jones to Jennings
Slowly plannin' my survival
In a three foot stack of vinyl
Since you had to walk outta here
I've been havin' a record year.

I bet you thought before you left
I'd just sit in silence by myself
Turn this house into a jail
Dyin' slow in a livin' hell
But loves got a funny way of keepin' score
And your leavin' lit up my scoreboard

I usually make it through side a sober
All bets are off when I flip her over
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
I'm havin' a record year.

-Eric Church 'Record Year'

Hi Stillbaffled,

Yes I made it into the concert. I had mixed reviews. Record Year, Some Of It, Drink in my Hand (crowd fav) , Round Here Buzz are my favorites. There was no opening act so it was advised that you were in your seats by 8pm start. Well he started at 845pm.  :-\ Then he played an hour and 15 minutes and took a 20 minute intermission.  :-\  Overall it was a good concert and he puts on a good show. He sings a lot of country songs. I think I'm more country rock, lol.  ::) He has some legit country songs.

I was tired when I got home. Straight to bed. I woke up with a headache, contemplated staying in bed, then pushed myself for the run. Out by 5am. Met at the required parking area and was school bused in.  Checkin and waited for my 9am start. There is so much prep for running.

It was in the 40's this morning. Oh my goodness with that Minnesota snow season.  ::) It never ends. So no warming up today. Just a straight half marathon. I got off to a good start and pushed myself through farm country. Cornfields, Red Pepper fields, and a cabbage patch.

I set a new performance record of 1:59:07 (9:06).  ;D ;D ;D I just kept pushing myself to break 2 hours. Next Sunday I have to slow it down as I have a challenge, 5K + half marathon and I have to hit 20 miles again to prep for the Marathon.

I have to find coffee and then I'm going to take some photos of farm country. I found this rusted tractor while running sitting in a field. Some nice grain silos and a collapsed farm house. Always good pics. I thought those red peppers were apples. LOL, I thought how on earth were they growing apples on 1 foot plants.

I've been reading that you have to look up while running and take in your environment as it serves as a distraction. If you look down at the pavement, then you internalize. Yes I do a lot of that. How else am I supposed to get it out of me. ::)

So I was thinking I was gaining weight. I have noticed a few times my stomach sticks out while at the gym. I believe it's not weight. It's the ab wall.  ;D LOL, I have way too much time on my hands, but yes, I believe it's the ab wall. Now I need the lower ones to divide, lol.

Enjoy your day

Thank you


 

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