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Author Topic: Discussion MLC in the News: Celebrities, News Stories, etc. Part 6

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Discussion MLC in the News: Celebrities, News Stories, etc. Part 6
OP: September 23, 2019, 01:40:31 AM
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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Attaching, I am sure some poor fool will do something horribly MLC we can all have a giggle at  ;D
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"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

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Well, it didn't take TOO long....

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/entertainment/celebrity/dennis-quaid-65-is-engaged-to-26-year-old-laura-savoie-his-parent-trap-fiancée-reacts/ar-AAJ9Zg8?ocid=spartanntp

I mean... seriously? 4th time is a charm? What makes him think this is a good idea?



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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
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Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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 ::)
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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Just EWWW
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This was on our news too last night.  The reporter was trying not to laugh or make comments but he was having a difficult time ;D

When I was her age, the thought of getting into bed with a man of 65 revolted me. I suppose money makes all the difference.  He'd best get a pre-nup agreement before she takes the lot.

I'm sure it's true love.......just like xH and ow.
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"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

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Shes obviously just a prostutute who is in it for the Money. Saying that though, They have been together for "months"  ;D
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Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
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W: 46 (Acts 25)
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T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

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Celebrity relationships and MLC relationships are so similar and I guess that's due to them both being in fantasy land.  Actors don't get the line between fact and fiction and either do MLCers.
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"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

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I have to disagree SF. Actors do get the line between fact and fiction, ist just that some get a MLC to go along with. If your a celeb with Money and fame then its just easier to get a younger bunny to ride shotgun in your Ferrari with you. Then it all gets made public anf BOOM!

No different to our MLCers, just that they have Money and are in the Spotlight.
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Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
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BD 1: 10.01.2017
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2 Sons - 20 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

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Quote
Celebrity relationships and MLC relationships are so similar and I guess that's due to them both being in fantasy land.  Actors don't get the line between fact and fiction and either do MLCers.

Speaking as a trained actor SF - this is a little sweeping.  I think the celebrity culture that seems to be highlighted here are those who have found fame via these awful reality shows aka Kardashians and Big Brother or Love Island and therefore do live a sort of fantasy culture.
Trained actors can very well distinguish fact from fiction and often have to use their own life experiences to inform their character portrayals.  Most jobbing actors and I know quite a few, are also not in the slightest bit wealthy and very realistic about life and what it throws at them. Work even for the most talented actors can be hard to come by and even then many of them are truly grounded -perhaps more so than you would think.
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Good point, Song...it is easy to see crisis when it is actually just well-rooted narcissism...and you find that in all walks of life and some social cultures just enable it more than others perhaps.

What I do see and feel increasingly concerned about, particularly for younger folks, is what seems to me to be a growing culture of narcissism and a homogenised 'perfection' fed by how we use social media. More and more I notice young women...and maybe some older ones too...with the same eyebrows, same selfie poses, same overall presented look. When did that become so strong in our culture, I wonder, and how much pressure does it create that we should all live our lives under that kind of pressure or conformity? I find I want to cheer when I see young folks who don't look the same.
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"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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We as a society are complicit in this.  A piece in The Times today looks at some psychology behind a celebrity couple who are in a crisis of identity which is not their fault but for which they will need to take responsibility at some tine if they are to be happy.  Here is an extract:

“......Now consider Harry and his wife Meghan. Not as royals but as people. I asked a friend of mine, a celebrated psychoanalyst, to watch last weekend’s ITV documentary featuring the pair on their trip to Africa. This is the one in which Harry said, “I think being part of this family in this role, this job — every single time I see a camera, every single time I hear a click, every single time I see a flash, it takes me straight back . . . everything I do reminds me of her [his mother]. And doing this job I get reminded of the bad stuff.” And then, “I will not be bullied into playing the game that killed my mother”.
In the same programme Meghan became tearful when the interviewer Tom Bradby (a serial royal wedding attender) asked in a therapeutic tone of voice how she was. “Any woman when you’re pregnant you’re vulnerable,” she said. “And thank you for asking, not a lot of people have asked if I’m OK.”
“This is a depressed woman”, said my friend, who has met a few. “She’s moved country, got married, left her family, left her career, had a baby. . . any of these things singly might cause the blues. Together . . .” And she’s dealt with all this by becoming manic, filling the space with statements, opinions, sentiments, lawsuits even. Not only that, but being American her model for how someone should be in this situation is clearly a first lady like Michelle Obama. But the consort of a spare prince really has no such role.”
Finally, said my friend, there may be Harry’s projection to deal with. “It’s as if he’s married his mother — a glamorous, charismatic, attractive woman, disconnected from her own family and liable to depression and mania.” And now he’s imposing the Diana story on her — unconsciously acting out his childhood experience in the present. Ridding the world of landmines and holding hands with the sick but this time without the paparazzi and the criticism. And it isn’t working.
We’re not playing ball. Harry may not know it but it’s a posthumous myth that we all loved Diana and that it was only the evil tabloids who dissed her. We, the public, felt admiration and envy for her: her looks, her money, her palaces, her parties with Elton John. We knew that she played the celebrity game to suit herself and many disliked her for it. She was roundly attacked for her “trendy” interventions in current affairs. We forgot that she hadn’t chosen the life in any real sense (she was only 19 when her engagement was announced), just as her husband and her sons never did.
Of course, we all adore the Queen. We extol her ramrod sense of duty and simultaneously forget that 22 years ago, after her daughter-in-law died in a car crash, we lamented her lack of emotional connection, her stiffness, her inhuman separation of private and public life. But now, we think, you’d never get the Queen giving us her unwanted opinion on climate change and implicitly reproaching us for living environmentally damaging lifestyles. At 100 she’ll still pitch up poker-faced at parliament surrounded by archaic uniforms to read out a speech she didn’t write.
And yet we still want the dope. The marital problems. The affairs (oh please, let there be some!). The “tensions between the brothers”. The women on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
I just can’t see how our unconscious public sadism and love of celebrity can be accommodated by the monarchy once Elizabeth II has passed from our lives. It is horribly obvious that for their own sakes Harry and Meghan should renounce their titles and become private citizens, rather than vainly attempt to bend the institution to suit their psychological needs. Someone needs to show that it can be done. The truly modern monarchy is one you can leave. One where Edward VIII did the right thing”.


 Diana, Charles, Meghan and Harry all have complex childhood backgrounds.  I think there’s a pathos behind so many stories


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« Last Edit: October 24, 2019, 05:42:49 AM by Nerissa »

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I have been having similar thoughts Nerissa and part of me bristled when I heard Meghan say that motherhood under the scrutiny of the press was hard..... ummm motherhood is hard anyway. I have little sympathy for this comment at all.

I also think that they have made a huge mistake making all of this so public. Harry needs help, that much is certain but for every finger they point at others two more will be pointing back at them.  BY courting the media in this way - it isn't going to go away.

I have also observed how clingy or rather victim like Meghan is - many of her photos with Harry show her holding his hand or arm and placing her other hand over the top. The body language is very much the drama triangle  rescuer- victim - persecutor and this was clearly evident in the language they used.

So IMHO we have two incomplete people seeking refuge in each other and I think that unless they receive good help and act upon good advice most of us can predict where this might end up.

I really hope I'm wrong BTW.  I would love this to be the end of the press intrusion and unnecessary scandal making so that that little boy can grow up in as normal and loving an environment as possible (yes and privileged but that's not the point as far as I am concerned)
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BD march 2013
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Reconnection started 2017 through 2018.
2019 is the year of Decisions!

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Ben Affleck slipped up and got hammered - and when his bender was over he drove straight to - wait for it - JENNIFER GARNER’S!

Remind me why these two ever got divorced? 
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Well she probably had enough of his behavior. However, I thought the same thing when I read the article this morning. He goes immediately to her after he screws up. It's sad. Obviously there is something there and he just cannot get his act together.
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I got the impression that the D was all his doing - not hers.  Obviously I have no idea, but she has always seemed committed to their family unit, until he blew it up.

One thing is certain: this man has had (is in?) the most obvious mid-life crisis I’ve ever seen.  He’s the poster child!

They should just get remarried already....
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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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At 70 years old he seems a bit old for an MLC. And with this being his 3rd wife and with him having a 19 year old son who was born when he was 51 while married to his second wife, it looks like this isn't his first rodeo. His first wife is 17 years younger than him and his second wife is 12 years younger than him. Third wife is 34 years younger than him.

Marrying younger women seems to be more of a lifestyle choice for him than evidence of a crisis.
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What Brain said

a.k.a. Throwing the dying fish overboard in favor of a shiny new minnow.

Ugggggh.
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Or he is in a perennial crisis like my FIL (RIP) was... Never came out of the tunnel and just hopped from OW to OW
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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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And, the latest is....IAN ZIERING!

Same ole BS....Ian “asks” for divorce (yeah right)....alleges he and his wife “grew apart”....the whole nine!

They have two daughters.  Ugh.
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« Last Edit: November 06, 2019, 03:40:49 PM by megogirl »

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Newest: Ric Ocasek and Paulina!

“Even if I should die before my divorce is final, Paulina is not entitled to any elected share....for she has abandoned me.”

Well, he did die first.  Wonder if she’ll ever see a dime....
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I think Okasek was just an old, sick, bitter man to just write her out of the will like that. They were together for 28 years(?).
Wow, that's cold.
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Yeah definitely a curmudgeon but his usage of the word “abandon” is interesting?!
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« Last Edit: November 10, 2019, 05:56:54 AM by megogirl »

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Now Sarah Palin.  She said when she was given the divorce papers, she felt like she’d “been shot”.

Long marriage.  Five kids.  Middle-aged man.  MLC?
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George or really probably Kelly Anne Conway, :(

She’s my age-ish, a year and some months older than me and h.

I hope they get through all this together.
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Mods - please link -thx

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« Last Edit: February 20, 2020, 06:51:40 AM by Thunder »

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He is?

LOL!!!

What a title  ;D

Attaching.

-SS
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W - 39
M - 43
Together 25 years, M 22
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019

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Standing

I’ve been following that story since he first banged the nanny.  His MLC was pretty epic.  Kind of funny to watch a MLC unfold simultaneously along with your spouse’s. 

Now comes the regret and apologies.  And we can follow it all on www.people.com or whatever.  I can’t wait to see the final ending to this!  I say they are back together in two years.  Over/under, anyone?

P.s. Cheerheart I think the WWJD (what would Jen do?) t-shirt is a fabulous idea!  Would apply to both Garner and Aniston!  Haha!
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« Last Edit: February 19, 2020, 07:54:37 AM by megogirl »

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Mego, there is an option on FB, you can remain married as your Relationship status, just change the visibility option to “only me” - then no one, no one else can see it.
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BD End of April 2017
Moved out - kind of, May 2017
Denied affair
Cycled hard April - Oct 2017, my son figured out affair, I confronted husband, we were going away as a family for the weekend - H monsters hard and files for a D end of Oct, 2017
D final Sept 2018
Many touch and goes
He lives in monster, kids haven’t been with him overnight since Jan 2019
Moved in with MOW, a former friend of mine, May 2019

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3Boys

I already changed it.  And I’m already regretting it.

Because this man is “RE”-married (As if that’s even a thing!). Left me high and dry, crippled and in a huge mansion not conducive to being crippled, in a state I can not stand, with no friends, nor family, less than four hours away. 

So barring a mea culpa of epic proportions, I think listing myself as a widow on social media is pretty tame. Hell I could go on a RANT as my status!  But I haven’t, and I won’t.

So now I’m listed as nothing, but would check “Standing” if I could.
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« Last Edit: February 19, 2020, 11:10:26 AM by megogirl »

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Ben is on GMA talking to Diane Sawyer this morning!!!

I will be tuning in!!!!
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Well....it’s over.  This wasn’t posted in time, but the interview continues tomorrow.

He talks a lot about his alcoholism, but not his divorce, as he says, “Family is private.”  (Uhhh....your MLC certainly wasn’t!)

I certainly hope he addresses it.  The cheating, the tattoo, the gambling, the everything.

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« Last Edit: February 20, 2020, 05:01:55 AM by megogirl »

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Addendum....it gets better, folks....!

The latest headline: “I never wanted to divorce.”  Hmmm....I’m pretty sure that she didn’t, either!

Backtrack, much?  That’s okay.  Just say you’re sorry now, and move on.
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« Last Edit: February 20, 2020, 05:17:34 PM by megogirl »

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Me- 47 at BD
MLC husband -45 at BD
1 daughter - 2 1/2 years at BD
BD 1 - January 6, 2018 moves out
November 2018 - moves back in for 1 month then leaves saying relationship over, wants a divorce then flies over last minute to be with OW on holiday.
BD 2 - OW confirmed December 14, 2018 - meeting up with her for holiday
BD3 - engaged to OW December 21, 2018
BD 4 - tells me he is moving back to home country on January 27, 2019. Gives me 5 days notice. His flight date is February 1, 2019.

I just want the money and him out of my life!

m
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More Ben Affleck quotes:

“It’s not particularly healthy for me to obsess over the failures — the relapses — and beat myself up,” he told the Times. “I have certainly made mistakes. I have certainly done things that I regret. But you’ve got to pick yourself up, learn from it, learn some more, try to move forward.”
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Sigh. Sometimes there are just too many LBS stories https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8066419/Heartache-Boris-Johnsons-estranged-wife-Marina-Wheeler-mother-dies.html and crappy ow grinning on social media.

So, Boris Johnson's just about legally wife still and his four adult children get to deal with him getting engaged (while still married, but hey nice pic from the Maldives) and then that there is an OB and then The mother/grandmother dies and THE NEXT DAY in a classic ow FU, a happy happy celebration announcement on IG picked up by the press. And to add some ow icing....a pretty pic of grinning ow being adoringly kissed by Boris. How unkind to his previous family of 27 years. I can think of a ton of ways in which one could have showed more respect without changing the realities at all.

It does all look a bit familiar, I know....my only caveat is that Wife No 2 was an ow to his first wife. That her and Boris got engaged and pregnant while he was still married to Wife No 1; indeed, got married a few days after divorce was final and a few days before baby was born. And Boris was always a serial cheater. So, I suppose one could argue that Wife No 2 got a 27 year gap before the karma bus replayed what she had doled out to Wife No 1 albeit in days before IG and FB.

Still, just really unkind way to handle things which tells you a lot about the character of Boris and stb Wife No 3. I do wish we could somehow breed these character traits out of the human race..... ::)......or that we were publicly louder in saying What a horrid way to behave, shame on you....I know, I know, only on the Perfect Isle of LBS right?
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« Last Edit: March 03, 2020, 05:59:44 AM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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or that we were publicly louder in saying What a horrid way to behave, shame on you

This is the problem. This type of behavior has become normalized and widely accepted.
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I can't believe that there are too many people who think the way Boris Johnson's is living his life and the way he is acting is normal - I suspect like me they are just shaking their heads in disbelief!

What man at age 56 - who already has 4 children in their 20s - starts another family with with a 31 year old.  Oh a MLCer that's who.

His girlfriend is 4 years older than his oldest daughter.

He's even been joking that he's having a complete MCL as his girlfriend bought him a motorbike for Christmas.

With this situation playing out in public I can only imagine what his wife is going through.  Shameless and completely disrespectful to his 'current' family - and he's running the country - I just have no words!

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BD Aug/Sept 15
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I'm just waiting for the day when this R will all blow over and I suspect it will be a lot shorter than his second marriage.

Quote
and he's running the country

Isn't this the problem though?  Most people outside of MLC see MLCers who are achieving etc as perfectly normal people getting on with things. .  MLCers can function successfully to the outside world - it's just our "privilege" as LBSers and that of our children to know that none of their inner thoughts or behaviour is appropriate or acceptable.   Boris has been able to fool a lot of people - a lot....... MLCers are skilled in this.

I wonder if this is why my MLCer rates Boris??? Takes one to know one  ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D

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BD march 2013
Stay at home MLCer
OW for 3.5 years - finishing Autumn 2016
Reconnection started 2017 through 2018.
2019 is the year of Decisions!

m
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More hell that is MLC!  Ozzy Osbourne to Piers Morgan, on his affair:

Piers: Did you fear the last time that Sharon might actually leave you?

Ozzy: Oh absolutely.  I was terrified! 

Piers: Were you addicted to sex?

Ozzy: I think it’s another fix.  If you’re a junkie like I was, anything that alters your mind you go for.  I didn’t LOVE any of these people.  And I’ve learned my lesson.”
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« Last Edit: March 03, 2020, 12:19:52 PM by megogirl »

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I can't believe that there are too many people who think the way Boris Johnson's is living his life and the way he is acting is normal - I suspect like me they are just shaking their heads in disbelief!

What man at age 56 - who already has 4 children in their 20s - starts another family with with a 31 year old.  Oh a MLCer that's who.

His girlfriend is 4 years older than his oldest daughter.

He's even been joking that he's having a complete MCL as his girlfriend bought him a motorbike for Christmas.

With this situation playing out in public I can only imagine what his wife is going through.  Shameless and completely disrespectful to his 'current' family - and he's running the country - I just have no words!

Enyo X

To be fair, no reason to think Boris is an MLCer. I knew him at uni.....standard charming narcissist philanderer...I would doubt he has ever been faithful to any woman in his lifetime. Although ow seems a bit textbook for ow types lol. Just hate the disrespect of long marriages treated this way without anyone batting an eyelid. Makes you wonder sometimes why anyone gets married at al.....
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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So much is just accepted.

I am in the Caribbean at a high end adults only resort  and was just walking back to my room to get ready for dinner. An older man was taking a picture of a very good looking woman. I asked them if they would like me to take a picture of them together. The women immediately said no and the older man said “NO! and with a big smile on his face said “ we are not supposed to be seen together”.

Oh boy. Maybe he was joking???? But I don’t think so  :(
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

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Here's another probable MLC.  Affair began long before the divorce and before his wife knew a thing.   

https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/pictures/jeff-bezos-divorce-and-cheating-scandal-everything-we-know/

Affair began long before the divorce and before his wife knew a thing. 
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"This too shall pass.  It might pass like a kidney stone but it will pass."
"Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown.  Instead, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus."

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UM - I never pictured you as a tabloid reader!

Maybe they have really good talent agents, but it seems that it was a "friendly" experience where they talked about it and agreed to co-parent, discuss the affair, etc.
Not like most MLCers who deny everything and spew...

Again - maybe that's just good publicity and a good talent agent (and lawyers).

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The friendliness could be a sanitized account.   Or maybe it’s not MLC.  Just a cheating husband. 

I can’t remember the last time I read a tabloid.   I do read a Google News feed everyday though.  :)
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"This too shall pass.  It might pass like a kidney stone but it will pass."
"Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown.  Instead, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus."

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We have this thing called Nextdoor and I have just read a post from someone claiming to be "educated" who is questioning what all of this is just a hoax and being reported for "sensationlism" . I am livid because it is this kind of thinking that makes people think that their rights are more important than the collective rights of a society....sorry, I need to vent and only have my dog here to vent to (and she is suffering from deafness and dementia).

Wake up folks. This is real. It has been predicted for years and globally, public health has been preparing for a pandemic which was always known would someday raise its ugly head.

It is not the first time a pandemic has hit our world and it won't be the last.

Thousands of people showing up to greet the Mercy naval ship in NYC this weekend is a prime example that people are not getting it. How to get through to them the measures that are being taken will save lives.

It is very interesting to see the stats from other countries compared to  the US which has now surpassed the number of cases than what China had....

Here is an interesting stat to chew on:

Quote
The United States had approximately 20 times the reported cases of Canada and more than 25 times the number of deaths as of Monday evening.

James Blanchard of the University of Manitoba pegged the U.S. rate at 43 infected per 100,000, compared with 15 per 100,000 in Canada.

I have many "ideas" about why the numbers are so vastly different, not just for Canada but for other countries as well.

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« Last Edit: March 31, 2020, 05:31:42 PM by xyzcf »
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

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UM - I also get frustrated.

I think Americans tend to feel entitled and exempted from the norm.
Hence...

Hopefully the ones that abide will stay safe, and the ones who are careless are more likely to be in contact with someone infected.  Not 100% but makes sense that it should work.
Yes, they are putting others at risk - in particular community servants and personal acquaintances, and I guess that's where the anger and injustice come in.

I'm just counting the days.
We're expected to surge around 4/20 (go figure!) where I am located.
I can't wait to be on the other side...

Sea
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M
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I would say definitely. Poor wife.
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

F
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xYZ-The US has done way more testing than other countries.  Also, outside of China, if you break it down by the number of corona virus compared to the population, we are way down the list.

Compared to China(who’s numbers are in question) we have a lot of cases compared to our population size.
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Married 20 years
Husband is 43
Me-39
4 kids 6-15 years old

BD-October 2018-ILYBNIL, wants a divorce, this after I found out about OW 1(EA), OW2(PA) no longer together.  I believe he is single. 
April 2019 He got an apartment and moved out.
Oct 2019-Apologized for a years worth of monster behavior.  Still wants to start divorce this Spring, is distant, but friendly.  Tries more with kids, but mostly just helps haul them around(superficial).
Spring 2019 H agreed to put off the divorce another school year to keep the kids and I from moving back to TX.
2020-He has continued to help out when asked and be polite.  I do think he questions his choices at times.  I do not believe he has OW.

m
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FJ: this probably belongs in the Covid thread. But that “statistic” is purposefully misleading, total tests are meaningless. The US is far behind other western and Asian countries in tests PER CAPITA. That is all that matters, we need testing across population to know what is going on. In fact US probably has a much larger undiscovered infected population than other places.

And with the Federal government failing to coordinate a response and now saying “it is up to each State” we are going to be even worse off. This “strategy” is equivalent to saying each State is responsible to create its own Army, Air Force and Navy in order to protect itself against other countries. Without a functioning and effective federal response the US will end up way behind other western countries.

And that is before the “liberty” to infect others, which I am very sure is nowhere in the US constitution. It seems most Americans haven’t actually read the text nor the writing of the founding fathers, that with citizenship and freedom comes a great deal of responsibility.
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N
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xYZ-The US has done way more testing than other countries.  Also, outside of China, if you break it down by the number of corona virus compared to the population, we are way down the list.

Compared to China(who’s numbers are in question) we have a lot of cases compared to our population size.

https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/full-list-cumulative-total-tests-per-thousand?time=latest&country=ECU+EST+ISL+IND+IDN+ITA+NOR+SEN+SGP+ZAF+KOR+CHE+TWN+TUR+GBR+USA+VNM
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m
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Latest:

Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler.

The rumor is he was having an affair with her best friend.  She didn’t believe it (allegedly), but they still had a falling out and the Cutlers are divorcing.

Another classic MLC tale.
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« Last Edit: April 27, 2020, 08:22:04 AM by megogirl »

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Hi mego

I don’t think it was mlc. He’s just a dirty dog who wanted to bonk lots of women.
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Me- 47 at BD
MLC husband -45 at BD
1 daughter - 2 1/2 years at BD
BD 1 - January 6, 2018 moves out
November 2018 - moves back in for 1 month then leaves saying relationship over, wants a divorce then flies over last minute to be with OW on holiday.
BD 2 - OW confirmed December 14, 2018 - meeting up with her for holiday
BD3 - engaged to OW December 21, 2018
BD 4 - tells me he is moving back to home country on January 27, 2019. Gives me 5 days notice. His flight date is February 1, 2019.

I just want the money and him out of my life!

m
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Well I don’t know them from Adam but everything seemed to line up.  Three small kids!  Douchebag.

I always root for reconciliation but it sounds ugly.
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m
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P.s. Reeeallly sick of these press releases that all say the same thing: “It is with the utmost respect for each other that we have lovingly decided to divorce.  Please respect our privacy.”

PARDON?  I love you so much that I am divorcing you?  If that doesn’t scream WTF then I don’t know what does (?!)
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« Last Edit: April 28, 2020, 09:29:13 AM by megogirl »

m
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mego: most of the time the press releases are PR bull. But love does have many forms, and people can be in love and yet still realize they are not well suited for each other. Love is not a fairy tale, it is a choice made every day and has to be functional, compatible and mutual.

I realize you have a particular view on love and marriage and that is perfectly good. But others don't hold the same view. It seems even your husband doesn't share your view at this time. And maybe accepting that may allow healing.
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m
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Marvin

With all due....marriage is through THICK and THIN.  Is that really only my view?  Because I daresay my XH and I aren’t “well-suited” for each other, either.  See, I’m disabled and he’s gone off the deep end with hiking.  Well that’s where “In sickness and in health” comes in, and is what he signed up for on 5/27/01.

I’m not stopping him from doing whatever he wants  - *I* just can’t.  And somehow he was ok with that - until he wasn’t.
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« Last Edit: April 28, 2020, 01:48:09 PM by megogirl »

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Yeah I'm with the others on this one. There was a history of cheating by Mr. Cutler. Not everyone who has affairs, or leave their families inexplicably are MLCers. Some are just a$$hats.

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Me 49
H 47
S13
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

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Richard Branson's sister, Vanessa, has written a memoir.....textbook LBS, textbook MLCer and a warning perhaps that reconciliation does not always turn out to be the best path.....https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8298655/Richard-Bransons-sister-Vanessa-reveals-took-cruel-cheating-husband-back.html
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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Treasur, that was quite an article. Thanks for posting it. It actually made me feel very sad. The things she described were so familiar to me. It was painful to read. I'm guilty of thinking that families like Vanessa Bransons are filled with unicorns, but this article shows how this terrible disorder - MLC - can affect anyone. I feel for her and for her kids. Her H sounds horrible. He reminds me of my H.

There was some positive in it for me. Reading about someone else's H, who seemed very much like mine but was not mine, gave me the distance needed to see what a disgustingly selfish man he was. Yes, he has a problem, but he's not stupid or invalid. I do feel that these MLCers are enabled by society. It's ok to cheat and leave your family. It's ok to bad mouth your wife. There is no research into this. There's nothing. Families destroyed everywhere because of this disorder. And not one of us could have known this when we decided to marry them.
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

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It made me gulp too, terribly recognisable.
And how dented she was by the experience. I googled her....this is an interesting accomplished woman, a writer, an art expert, founded the Marrakech Bienalle, runs a hotel on a small Scottish Island ....but she felt like nothing. Her h presumably (xh now) had some good qualities....the heart of MLC perhaps is working out who they were before they became an MLC train wreck, as well as what they become......and his letter years later is a textbook MLCer one too isn't it?
For me, it was a salutary reminder that perhaps it was better for me that reconciliation did not happen in my situation.....
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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I too could really feel the authenticity of what happened and her response.  It seems as if he returned, half committed for eleven years!  I managed almost two like that.  It’s is really damaging, as she says, to live with someone who can’t love you.  I wonder how she coped for all that time.  I felt I was doing it partly for the family/children, but it had such a diminishing effect in me that it was actually bad for the children and I was less emotionally present for them and too embroiled in my own problems.
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« Last Edit: May 09, 2020, 03:23:20 AM by Nerissa »

m
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Thanks for sharing, what a read. There is some good from her sharing this story, maybe it will not only help some to understand how hard this is but also that it doesn’t matter what you life “looks like,” that something like this happens to everyone and is emotionally equally damaging (obviously others also have financial consequences that are even more compounding).

It is so difficult sometime for us to accept that there are things we can not fix, can not heal, can not correct. Whether it is watching someone we love suffer and having to simply step away or to accept that the past is that, past. I think so many of us suffer terribly when our loved ones suffer from MLC because we are hit with both of these things at once.

One thing she said resonated with me particularly. I had not noticed until two months after BD1 what was happening, how much my wife had slowly diminished me in my own eyes over the previous two years. I had always trusted my reflection in her, how she saw me, as an honest broker, someone who knew me best, who could point out my strengths and my weaknesses. So as she distorted and started cutting me down, amplifying my negatives and subtly and then no subtly criticize my weaknesses I had gradually become much smaller. And I saw myself as flawed and toxic. I saw her description of how she felt after his return and recognized how destructive that is even if someone tries to reconcile with a someone who’s psyche is still damaged and existing in a very negative state.

Reinforces the wisdom of letting go and detaching. Even if you are standing and even if one day there is reconciliation.
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S
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Interesting read and certainly reflects the feelings I currently have with my situation with H as we muddle along like 2 very good room- mates but until we sell......

What fascinates me more though is the "help" she received from her well intentioned friends.  Isn't this something we all have to deal with? A few months in and friends are encouraging us to date or to do something radical without realising that we all have to heal in our own way and in our own time frame.

My next comment may seem unsympathetic.
It is possible that her relationship with alcohol probably didn't help her initial stages of dealing with the trauma of his leaving.  And so she had added struggles and thankfully recognised it in good time for her own recovery.
(NB I am NOT saying that he was right at all to do what he did - far from it)

This is why we all have to learn to be whole, healthy whether we are post BD, pre marriage whatever and sadly this part of life can elude us until we are thrown into it. 
I really wish that life skills including finance, recognising healthy behaviour, learning to respond and react etc... were taught in schools so that at least our younger generation may have a chance to grow old with someone and to grow old happily.
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BD march 2013
Stay at home MLCer
OW for 3.5 years - finishing Autumn 2016
Reconnection started 2017 through 2018.
2019 is the year of Decisions!

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Quote
This is why we all have to learn to be whole, healthy whether we are post BD, pre marriage whatever and sadly this part of life can elude us until we are thrown into it. 

Amen to that.
Our damage may be different; our unhealthy coping strategies may be different; our choices may be different.
But, spouse around or not, no one can live well without finding our own way to be as whole and healthy as we can.
And it turns out the 'diy rebuilding a human' can take a bit longer than we imagined it would lol
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« Last Edit: May 10, 2020, 02:30:54 AM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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Has anybody else watched “Cracked up, the Darrel Hamlin story”
Because that is an MLCer who made a movie about it....and wrote a book.

It was gut wrenching to watch....hit very close to home for me.
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Me 37
H 37
S15
Wallower/Chaos kid
EA discovered 3/31/2019
BD March 31 2019
EA ongoing? 🤷‍♀️ (Who knows?)
“God allows us to feel the frailty of human love so we’ll appreciate the strength of his.” C.S. Lewis

m
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MLC ALERT?!!?

Brian Austin Green posted a cryptic message alongside a pic of a butterfly atop a flower.  It read: “Eventually butterflies get bored sitting on a flower too long.  They start feeling smothered.  It’s a great big world and they want to experience it.”

Both Green and his wife, Megan Fox, have been photographed without their wedding rings.

Another one bites the dust?
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« Last Edit: May 17, 2020, 01:13:08 PM by megogirl »

m
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Update....

Apparently Fox is the “butterfly” in question.  She was photographed in her car with some dude she’s been working with.

I certainly wouldn’t be sick of Brian Austin Green.
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Been seeing that story on a few of the gossip sites. Machine Gun Kelly is the guy Megan Fox is seeing. It said, fwiw, that she and Brian Austin Green are separated (again? Didn't they file for divorce once before their last child was conceived?). Made me look up HER age - 34. Younger end, but a few of us had MLCers that hit mid-30s, so no impossible. Though, with the split earlier, might just be that they are a marriage that's done. Sad for their little kids. In all of the pictures of them I've seen over the years they were such an adorable family.
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"Unconditional love is the highest of high standards, and while we are letting go of our need to control the process of anyone else, we are taking within our lives complete accountability for our own experience."

http://seriousvanity.com/how-to-cultivate-unconditional-love-and-change-the-world/

m
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Ready

It’s Green’s quote that has me convinced it’s a MLC situation.  Couples that are finally mailing it in don’t speak of butterflies being bored and wanting to see the world.

MLCers do. 

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m
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Aaaaand.....Brian Austin Green just confirmed his split with Megan Fox.

Nothing is sacred, especially in Hollywood, but I really liked them.  Well....I mean I really like *him* lol
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« Last Edit: May 20, 2020, 04:43:16 PM by megogirl »

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I'm sure some have seen it in the last couple days:

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith

Oh boy, she had a big MLC. I watched that interview, and poor Will. She beat the crap out of him. Look at what an empty shell he is.
My heart goes out to him.

Affair = Check
Not feeling = Check
AP half her age = Check
On and on and on....... MLC all over the place.
The sad thing is: She's completely unrepentant and without remorse (so far).

Why I find this so interesting: It's a close view of what a female MLC'er looks like down the road a ways (one that is well to do, and has resources).
Looks like Will is trying to save his M, and "be there". You can see the toll on him, and the hurt/pain. She on the other hand could care less, obviously still in MLC and still justifying everything she's done. Just personal opinion, but I don't think she will get better: There's no pain or loss to force her to improve.

Well another celeb example, but a fascinating one.

-SS
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W - 39
M - 43
Together 25 years, M 22
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019

m
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Yes SS

I remember a long time ago reading their mantra, which was “Divorce is not an option.”  To which I thought: Bingo!  It matched my own thoughts exactly!

So I kind of used them as the celebrity benchmark for how marriages should be.  Suffice it to say I’m pretty depressed to hear of their (potential) demise.
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« Last Edit: July 16, 2020, 07:47:54 AM by megogirl »

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It is tempting to see MLC in every story of infidelity and/or marriage breakdown...but imho that is a kind of confirmation bias, not necessarily true and we probably don't know enough in some of these celebrity stories. If we judge MLC to be marked by a kind of big unravelling, a change in personality and life bigger than 'just' infidelity, I suspect that comes out over a longer period of time.....so for instance I suspect Johnny Depp leaving Vanessa Paradis may be MLCish (although to be fair he was probably always a bit unravelled  ::) )....but his relationship with Amber Heard certainly sounds like a textbook affair down nightmare regardless of who was most at fault. Jmo.
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« Last Edit: July 16, 2020, 07:52:05 AM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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What I do find interesting... JPS has got history of mental health issues. Statistically speaking it's not surprising as every second person will encounter mental health issues at least once in their life.   But as far as I recall, her story includes attempting suicides, depression etc. pretty serious stuff for number of occasions.  Mental health struggless seems to be one of those elements repeating in many stories.

But, such a tragedy once again. I really liked their mantra.

Alvin.
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Together - 20½ Years, Married 19 Years
Me: 43, W: 41 (Acts 20-25) - a low energy live-in wallower
BD ("I don't love you"): Feb 2019, 
BD2 ("I don't want to fix this marriage."... D filed May 2020
Kids (at time of BD): G19,G18,G14,G12,S5

*** Every person on the planet is like you - a human being, most likely doing the best they can. Some are just more in control of themself than others ***
*** There are things you control and things you can't control, but what you can control is your attitude towards things you can't control. ***
*** You're not going to master the rest of your life in one day. So relax. Master the present day. Then just keep doing that every day. ***
*** Without trust fear is the only possibility. Place your trust in your own wings. ***

J
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Oh wow watching that Red Table video brought so many feelings up for me!  I saw the pain in his eyes and wow...I get it.  We stayed together and next year we will be married 25 years and it will be 4 years since all our bullsh1t came to light...just like them!  I give her credit for publicly addressing this...hopefully it satisfies the media so Will can move forward and not have to be reminded by others, no doubt he doesn’t need reminding.  It’s in his head!  I didn’t like how she chose to call it an entanglement rather than an affair.  Obviously she started an EA and maybe it wasn’t a PA until they decided to separate...but it was an affair, can’t fluff it off with a new name for it!  I cheer them on in working through this and trying to save their marriage!  Reconciliation is no picnic...it’s been 3 years for me and I am still healing and recovering day by day! 
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Me 50
H 50
Married Aug 1996
4 kiddos- S21, D19, S17, S15
July 2014 BD "thinking of divorce, let's go to therapy"
Aug 2014 to Fall 2016 weekly therapy
January 2017 BD he says he's seeing a lawyer about divorce
February 2017 OW confirmed but H doesn't know I know yet...affair began July 2014, when he decided things were bad
February 2017 I filed for divorce
March 2017 H FINALLY  admitted OW and said it was over
May 2017 H moved out
June 2017 New therapist who mentioned reconciliation as an option and we began "dating"
June 2017 dropped divorce case/H fired OW/we began serious reconciliation
May 2018 lease up on apartment and H is back home full time
Currently still seeing therapist once a month, still working through the issues we had with communication that led up to our disconnect!

m
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  • "You must do the thing you think you can not do."
Jojojo

I don’t have access to the interview, but it sounds like they’re just living up to their mantra: “Divorce is not an option.”

Good on them.
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N

Nas

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I think they’ve had an unconventional partnership and don’t actually think jada was an MLC but do think it’s being really swept under the rug that she took advantage of her son’s friend who initially was introduced to her and Will because he wanted help with his substance use and mental health issues.
But considering the guy released a song today entitled “Entanglement,” I doubt she or Will are going to be getting peace very soon. 🙄
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m
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Curious.....

Did John McCain’s affair with his then-OW affect your vote in any way?

And, why do you think it ruined John Edwards’ career, but not McCain’s?
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« Last Edit: July 20, 2020, 11:41:20 AM by megogirl »

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It was so long ago, I imagine there would only be a tiny faction of the forum possible who would have lived in Arizona where he was elected to office, and been old enough to vote. By the time he was running for president, people saw his long term marriage as a success, with little care that it came from an affair. He also accomplished other things in his life that greatly overshadowed it (and I'm not a Republican, but I consider him someone who benefited that party and our country). And it's generally only in recent decades that the private lives of politicians have been laid out tabloid style and used in debate.

John Edwards situation was quite different in exposure (even if an affair is an affair without the cameras and TMZ). His wife and their story of loss was a beloved part of his political narrative, and he betrayed it so publicly, and with such a wack job that used it to propel herself into fame. There weren't sex tapes of the McCains floating around the talk shows, and he wasn't as respected in general as McCain had been. Just a disgrace all around, and sad for all of the children he fathered.
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"Unconditional love is the highest of high standards, and while we are letting go of our need to control the process of anyone else, we are taking within our lives complete accountability for our own experience."

http://seriousvanity.com/how-to-cultivate-unconditional-love-and-change-the-world/

m
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  • "You must do the thing you think you can not do."
Thanx for your input Ready

I was just getting tired of hearing about what a great human McCain was.  Now I don’t think anyone would argue that he was a great American and a patriot.  But he also destroyed his marriage and family, which *never* seems to get mentioned. 

And Cindy McCain was his OW, yet she is never vilified.  I wonder how different things would have been if TMZ had existed then (?)
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« Last Edit: July 21, 2020, 12:12:48 PM by megogirl »

m
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Is this a statement from someone in limerance or what?! Megan Fox, on Machine Gun Kelly:

'So we're actually two halves of the same soul, I think. And I said that to him almost immediately, because I felt it right away.'

She added: 'I knew right away that he was what I call a twin flame. Instead of a soul mate, a twin flame is actually where a soul has ascended into a high enough level that it can be split into two different bodies at the same time.'

So, so deep, Megan.  Like something a teenage girl would write in her diary 😂
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« Last Edit: July 24, 2020, 07:12:48 AM by megogirl »

K
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LOL--well I wouldn't know if Megan is actually MLC or not. But I will say, many many many MLCers are really into that twin flame thing. Maybe she's just crazy. You know, at a higher level.

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Me 49
H 47
S13
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

m
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She’s definitely weird if someone named MACHINE GUN is her “twin flame.”  Lol
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« Last Edit: July 24, 2020, 02:03:43 PM by megogirl »

s
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But I will say, many many many MLCers are really into that twin flame thing.

I swear my MLCer mentioned something about that with OW2!  ::) So much BS.
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Together since 2009, 7.5 years
- PA with OW1 09/15 (BD1)
- EA with OW2 02/16 (BD2)
I moved out 07/16..

 

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