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Author Topic: Discussion Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 8

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Discussion Re: Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 8
#10: November 08, 2019, 03:53:08 PM
Quote
The author seems a bit narcissistic doesn’t he?  I’m
Losing patience with the long term self absorbed, despite having been so for the last few years!

I agree..how long does it take someone to find themselves? Shouldn't we all somehow have to face these questions? Then why don't we leave our spouses and families and show no remorse or concern or anything really for people who at one time mattered in their lives.

Did 35 years of one's life matter so little? That is is as though it no longer exists?

Too many questions for a Friday night.
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

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Re: Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 8
#11: November 20, 2019, 06:46:19 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66cYcSak6nE

The Power of Addiction and The Addiction of Power: Gabor Maté at TEDxRio+20

Terrific talk about why people are addicted and the effect of childhood "trauma" on the development of later addictions in life.
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

L
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Re: Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 8
#12: January 13, 2020, 08:02:09 AM
Very interesting article about the dark side of compartmentalization

https://richardnicastro.com/index.php/2019/03/05/the-dark-side-of-mental-compartmentalization/
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Me: 56 (when he left in April 2017)
MLCer: 57 (when he left in April 2017)
Together since: 1986
Married: No
Children:No
Begin of P`s MLC: around Spring 2010 with breaks inbetween when he behaved like his pre MLC self.
OW: YES , he`s living together with an old spinster who just happens to live up the road.
Animals: 1 doggie, belongs to both of us but MLCers has abandoned him too.

"Surrender to what is, let go of what was, have faith in what will be"

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Re: Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 8
#13: January 13, 2020, 08:22:10 AM
Nodding my head as I read this article about compartmentalization. Explains how one goes from being a moral and value orientated individual into this secret world.

Everything I read says it is not sustainable and that a break will occur but it seems like some can continue to live like this for decades
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

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Re: Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 8
#14: January 14, 2020, 03:22:19 AM
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Me- 47 at BD
MLC husband -45 at BD
1 daughter - 2 1/2 years at BD
BD 1 - January 6, 2018 moves out
November 2018 - moves back in for 1 month then leaves saying relationship over, wants a divorce then flies over last minute to be with OW on holiday.
BD 2 - OW confirmed December 14, 2018 - meeting up with her for holiday
BD3 - engaged to OW December 21, 2018
BD 4 - tells me he is moving back to home country on January 27, 2019. Gives me 5 days notice. His flight date is February 1, 2019.

I just want the money and him out of my life!

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Re: Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 8
#15: January 14, 2020, 03:38:27 AM
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-7883575/The-midlife-crisis-REAL-Study-finds-misery-maxes-47.html

Lol....well that might mean my xh is building up to his lowest point then  :)
Funny though how it is bang on with the usual MLC standard age which as I recall is mid 40s. There is something about that 'sandwich' time maybe between growing kids, aging parents and a feeling of less years in front of you than behind you maybe?
I was pretty happy at 47 as I recall.....but 53 sucked ha ha
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

C
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Re: Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 8
#16: January 24, 2020, 03:19:06 PM
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The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself. - Bill Murray

b
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Re: Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 8
#17: February 04, 2020, 07:02:06 PM
Interesting article on The Making Of A Cheater, and how FOO issues are at the bottom of all of it.

https://rudd-o.com/archives/the-making-of-a-cheater
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Married April 1985
5 children
Bomb Drop April 2013
Thrown out of house August 2013
Affair discovered November 2013 (i guessed who)
Home December 3 2013
The Journey Of Reconciliation .. is for the brave .

Anger is like a candle in the wind ... it blows out the light of all reason.

D
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Re: Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 8
#18: February 04, 2020, 08:12:47 PM
Interesting article on The Making Of A Cheater, and how FOO issues are at the bottom of all of it.

https://rudd-o.com/archives/the-making-of-a-cheater

Wow.  And thank you.   :(
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M=51
W=47
D=8
BD Feb 17 Thinking of divorce
Atomic BD June 17 Spying revealed OM at work
Still home.  Threatened to leave several times and has asked me to leave about a dozen. 
Says divorce proceedings will start Jan 18.
She has scheduled mediation Feb 7,  2018
I moved out March 16, 2018
Several mediations, mostly instigated by me.  Foot dragging by STBXW.  Nothing filed. Yet.
5/2019 STBXW filed D behind my back despite signed agreement to mediate.
I retain attorney.
STBXW still hasn't told me and no further action.
Elephant in the room has been addressed.  No further action atm.  Weighing my options.
12/16/19  She files financial paperwork.  Divorce proceeding.

D
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Re: Links/Blogs/Articles for us all to share 8
#19: February 04, 2020, 08:19:48 PM
That was like looking directly at STBXW
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M=51
W=47
D=8
BD Feb 17 Thinking of divorce
Atomic BD June 17 Spying revealed OM at work
Still home.  Threatened to leave several times and has asked me to leave about a dozen. 
Says divorce proceedings will start Jan 18.
She has scheduled mediation Feb 7,  2018
I moved out March 16, 2018
Several mediations, mostly instigated by me.  Foot dragging by STBXW.  Nothing filed. Yet.
5/2019 STBXW filed D behind my back despite signed agreement to mediate.
I retain attorney.
STBXW still hasn't told me and no further action.
Elephant in the room has been addressed.  No further action atm.  Weighing my options.
12/16/19  She files financial paperwork.  Divorce proceeding.

 

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