Author Topic: My Story Reconnection... not there yet  (Read 1115 times)

Offline YoTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story Re: Reconnection... not there yet
« Reply #10 on: September 27, 2019, 02:55:26 PM »
Thanks Acorn! You are right about the difficulty to mix the two concepts, actually in Spanish the verb to use with "I" is the same word for expectations and hope!. 😮


Expectations focus on the future, whereas hope is current.
Expectations hinge on another person’s actions, whereas you own hope 100%
.
Great!

Not your Monkey, thanks for your comments! and about your suggestion of reading Acorn's threads, I do! And has been my lifesaver more than once, I just wish to be as wise as she has been.

Keep your eyes on the positives, try to ignore or brush off the negatives, and you will be fine.

Promised

Thanks for being here PJ and Finding Joy!

And to keep with the story...
10 years ago I used to work for an association giving conferences to teenagers about healthy life, sexuality and some other things
Two weeks ago they called me again to work for this semester with them but I have to travel this monday to Mexico City for the training, just two days, I'll be back on Wednesday and I already told my boss at school and she said yes
I told H about it, D6 is going to stay with him. For the first time  D6 and me are going to be separated and maybe it sounds silly but I am sad...

At the beginning he said it was OK but last night he started to babbling about it and at the end he told me that he'll give me the money that they are going to pay me if I won't go

Is a very attractive offer, I am really tired and would be great to have more money and less work to do... 😄
But after this two years my experience tells me he is trying to manipulate me again...
I didn't know what to do, in one hand if I don't go is going to be more comfortable but I am letting his demons not just control him but me
I am going to miss D6 but with pain in my heart I have to teach her to be independent (I am sure H is a great dad, she'll be fine)

In the other hand, if I go I am taking care of myself and doing my life but is possible to have to handle a monster at home for the weekend and maybe like other times he is going to stop the process (with pain in my heart but not my business)

So I decided to go! I am going to tell him that I appreciate the offer but if he wants to help me he can do it anyway knowing that everything is going to be fine if I am not at home  for two days

If he some day wants to reconnect with me he needs constance and needs to know I can have a life and independence and if I am with him is because I love him not because I need him (of course I am not telling him this)

Besides all these, is going to be fun to see him taking care of D6 and work (what I do always), driving her to school, fixing the snack, homework, uniforms, afternoon activities, D6 jumping and speaking with no stops from 6:00 am to 10:00 pm, shower, dinner, etc.

I haven't talked to him so please let me know your thoughts so I can be sure I am making the right decision

« Last Edit: September 27, 2019, 03:00:11 PM by Yo »
Yo ❤

Offline NewNormal

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Re: Reconnection... not there yet
« Reply #11 on: September 29, 2019, 11:43:50 AM »
Attaching  :)

Offline Savoir Faire

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Re: Reconnection... not there yet
« Reply #12 on: September 29, 2019, 07:16:09 PM »
You are absolutely making the right decision to go Yo.  Your D will be fine and it will give her much needed time with her Dad.

Take some time after your day at training to take time for you, have a spa bath, massage and generally just find time for you for a change.
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline Acorn

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Re: Reconnection... not there yet
« Reply #13 on: September 30, 2019, 10:42:17 AM »
Hi Yo, I hope you are in Mexico City.  If you are, enjoy! 
Being away from an MLC environment is refreshing.   I’m speaking from experience.

Live-in MLCer
Feb 2015: BD.  H has a Nuclear meltdown. 
Oct 2015: ILYBIANILWY.
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

Offline YoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Reconnection... not there yet
« Reply #14 on: September 30, 2019, 02:19:48 PM »
Already in the airport!

H made it difficult since yesterday when D6 reminded him about the trip, I guess he didn't think I was to come.
At the end he offered to drive me to the airport, when we arrived to the front door I said thank you and he left...

Well... I am on my way, ready to learn and take a brake for the first time!
I already miss D6 but I know she'll be fine.

Thanks SF and Acorn ❤


Yo ❤

Offline YoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Reconnection... not there yet
« Reply #15 on: October 06, 2019, 03:28:57 PM »
Hola!

Same old stuff, H in the tunnel and me reacting without thinking.
This week H is letting me know where he is if he is not to be back at the usual time, today he cooked lunch for the three of us, but he is still not talking to me and if I talk to him he looks at me with hate and answers in a very rude way.

Yesterday I had a fall, a friend of my sent me a text that explained how to ignore, disregard, not talk, were agression against the couple and some other things in the text that triggered all the bad stuff I have been living the last two years

I didn't think, I just reacted and told H that I was tired and I didn't want this anymore, I asked him what kind of money arrangement he was willing to make in order to know what options I had. Everything in a very calm way from my side

He was really upset but he just said that he didn't want to talk, that maybe in another time.

As I said today he cooked for us but is the same story, I know that MLC'ers are not coherent but I really would like to understand why he wants me whit him if he is uncomfortable with me around, I am sorry, I guess I am acting like new but I am in one of those days...
Yo ❤

Offline Savoir Faire

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Re: Reconnection... not there yet
« Reply #16 on: October 06, 2019, 10:35:15 PM »
We all need a break from their insanity at times Yo, they are exhausting.

Give him the silent treatment as well or get out of his way.  MLCers act like such children, although most children are much nicer than any MLCer.
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline YoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Reconnection... not there yet
« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2019, 09:29:35 AM »
MLCers act like such children, although most children are much nicer than any MLCer.

Definitely! Thanks Savoir Faire
Yo ❤

Offline Acorn

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Re: Reconnection... not there yet
« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2019, 09:56:04 AM »
O well, no more talking to him for a while then.  One does not repeat any performance that got you disrespect.  Leave him alone to sulk all by himself. 

You’ve had your say, now it’s back to cool, calm and collected.  Right, Yo?
Live-in MLCer
Feb 2015: BD.  H has a Nuclear meltdown. 
Oct 2015: ILYBIANILWY.
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

Offline Not Your Monkey

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Re: Reconnection... not there yet
« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2019, 10:43:13 AM »
Hola!

Same old stuff, H in the tunnel and me reacting without thinking.
This week H is letting me know where he is if he is not to be back at the usual time, today he cooked lunch for the three of us, but he is still not talking to me and if I talk to him he looks at me with hate and answers in a very rude way.


Sometimes these MLCers seem like they hate us but it's not about us at all. Last night I asked my H if he wanted me to prepare dinner as soon as he got home and he agreed. Well, between then and me serving dinner, he talked to MIL. He was complaining about some problem he had with someone at his clinic I think but it definitely was not about me. Then he told me he didn't want dinner now, and later when I asked again if he wanted to eat he just gave me a dirty look, didn't answer, and left the room. I just said good night, put the food away and left it at that. It was clear that his mother had agitated him in some way. And I could imagine your H's attitude has nothing to do with you, but seems like it is directed at you.
Beware "MLCers" telling lies.

 

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