[Puzzled]

Thank you so much, Shocks sis, for answering all these questions us LBSes have -- it is so helpful and reassuring to read your replies.  What I'm taking away from them is primarily that there is absolutely nothing I can do at the moment to change anything so it's best to relax and live life as best I can.

[Shockandawe]

Hi puzzled

That’s exactly what you need to do.
MLCERS are the epitome of selfish thrown in with a bit of teenage regression.
Carry on for yourself and let the MLCer get on with it.
They boarded the crazy train and they have no option but to travel through MLC, you LBSers don’t have to board the train with them. As I tell my sister, wave them off and get on with taking care of yourself.
I hope this helps

[Limboland2018]

Hi Limbo

I didn’t leave my child though I did travel abroad to visit om. You have to try to understand that in MLC I was the most important person at that time and it was ALL about me and my wants. I justified it by thinking that my child would be spending time with her Father and no amount of people trying to tell me otherwise was penetrating my selfish armour.
As MLCers one basic similarity is the overwhelming selfishness. I think your husband is deep in the fog and so he is a world champion selfish person.
I am afraid I’m going to use the word time again for that is what this takes.
Don’t take it personally and be the same parent for your child/ children because your h is childlike himself at the moment.

Thanks so much for your response. Greatly appreciated. I find the total selfishness and lack of care for a young child totally gobsmacking. Plus his justifications for his actions beggars belief. I will never understand my mlcer....and I think that is ok.

[Tyks]

I echo what steel spine said about finger pointing.

Thank you as for helping people here

My xh ow moved out of the residence they shared. She gave a plethora of reasons for why she was moving out. Then she told him that they could still be together but not live together.

Currently my xh has my d17 and my dog as I am having to put things into a container and move. The new house is not ready yet. I find it odd that he would take my dog, he even offered a fee months back when I went on vacation.

He has told me time and again that he regrets how bd went down but he would not change the outcome of us. If your xh was single would you have pursued him again?

[megogirl]

I’m late to the party (in the hospital) but I echo Terra and McKnight.

No good can come from criticizing others, especially those who are providing such a valuable service to HS.

ShockSis is the very last person to deserve lectures and/or negative banter.

[Savoir Faire]

Goodness, are you ok Mego!  Can you share what's happened?

[Not Applicable]

I have to say I agree with everything Anjae has said on this thread.

Let's take SS at her word, she got involved with a manipulative guy.

There are lots of manipulative people in the world-politicians, advertisers, spouses, bosses, coworkers, Nigerian online scammers, even real life OMs/OWs. We all encounter them in some form or another in our daily lives. MLCers are not unique in having to deal with them.

There are exceptional situations where people are truly powerless and get manipulated, poor homeless girls trafficked for sex for example, and it is hard to blame them for what happens.

But a married woman going online and chatting with another man already made her biggest mistake and sin right there. It doesn't matter if after that first step, she gets involved with the most laidback guy or the most manipulative, she stepped out of her marriage, disrespected her vows, and that was that.

If you allow yourself to be manipulated by anyone, it's a personal character flaw. MLC or a proverbial fog is no excuse.

The odd thing is that most MLCers don't like being controlled. They are looking for a pliable OP to control themselves. I think in many cases, when the OP actually does start to act controlling, manipulative etc., if they have any sense, that's when they wake up and walk away.

SS may be an exception, but as Acorn says, she's a sample of one and should not be seen as some sort of example for anyone else.

Of course there is a benefit of reading what SS says, even if it is just to see the mind of an MLCer who as Anjae I think rightfully points out, is not fully recovered or recognizing her responsibility.

[SteelSpine]

NYM, I like you a lot, but you are too late to stir the pot. We are out of spoons.

[MyBrainIsBroken]

Bad news SS. I found a spoon.

Good news SS. I decided this post isn't worth responding to and put the spoon back in the bucket.

[megogirl]

Savvy

I broke one side of my ankle (fall), then fell again trying to get onto my bed and broke the other side.

The only good thing about this unmitigated disaster is it got me out of court for another month, at least.

Sis, you keep me going.  I hope you can ignore the naysayers.