Author Topic: My Story New me, who’s that?  (Read 353 times)

Offline sachat3Topic starterTopic starter

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My Story New me, who’s that?
« on: October 04, 2019, 09:03:53 AM »
“Guess who’s back. Back again. Sacha’s back. Tell a friend” 🤣🤣

Well guys I am BACK. I didn’t really post much over summer as guess what guys....I was just too damn busy living my best life. And boy oh boy has that sent Clington into such a little tizzy! Oooh boy.

I’ve made a new thread because the other thread was so long ago. But also, well, new thread new me. And that’s honestly how I feel. I feel very very different to the sacha who last posted in July!

So I will try and get this in as much chronological order as I can...

I left with Clingtons ring and Apple Watch disappearing. Eventually they did resurface. But not as soon as I would have thought. They continued to disappear and reappear for a while. One day, I did click on that Clington was wearing a watch I got him so I made a comment about “where’s the Apple Watch” and immediately Clington got VERY defensive and said it was broke. A month or so after this. He showed me said Apple Watch which was actually completely shattered. Clington then proceeded to tell me it got caught in a steel door etc which is evidently a lie because if it did that much damage to a watch. His wrist would have been seriously hurt!

There was a day when Clington. Had the girls all day and I decided to just head to a new city. So that’s what I did. I went to Liverpool for the day. I suppose this could have been maybe a trigger that made me put a lot of things behind me and move forward. Nothing particularly exciting happened whilst in Liverpool. I just hit the shops. Had lunch and came home. But I feel like this maybe was the starting point.

Especially because two days after Liverpool was again a day Clington has the girls all day and so I went in the hairdressers and had my long hair chopping into a long bob hairstyle. Very new hair new me. Now I didn’t tell anyone I was cutting my hair but as soon as I saw Clington he said “oh your hair. It looks nice”. Strange that he noticed and commented.

So on the last day of school which was the end of July. I was due to be picked up and go straight to my mums caravan for just short of two weeks. Now bare in mind Clington has never ever been near my family in a good 5 years. And on the last day of school I had cakes for the children’s teachers that I needed to take in. So Clington knocked on and asked did I want him to take D2 (now D3!) to his house so I could do the school run. For whatever reason D2 didn’t want to go with Clington so I went to school with her in the pram. I picked up D5 from her class. Spoke to her teachers. Gave cakes etc. D5 was quite emotional. We then walked to get D7 (now D8!) from her class. As I’m cuddling and consoling D5 - she was really upset she wouldn’t see her teachers again...Clington appears. WTF? It was strange as he knew my dad was meeting me. He knew all this. Low and behold as we’re walking back we catch up with my dad and what not. It was a little bit awkward but nothing I didn’t expect (aside from Clington turning up). Away we went for a week or so and had the best time. Clington and his brother looked after the cats. Life was good.

We did have a bit of a debate as a week before he was due his child free weekend he said “oh I’m not here next week” as he was also away during the week. So the days he should have had the kids he couldn’t. So I then said (once I calmed down) “okay but Cos your missing two days with the kids. I’m having the Friday and Monday when it’s my weekend”. At first he agreed. Then it went to “let me check the Monday” and that then caused WW3 with Ow. Yo the point he came off the phone visibly upset. LOOOOL.

What is funny to note, is he went to Paris with Ow. My friends were laughing as Ow was trying to copy my poses and pics but gave the “I did mine in Paris. I win” vibe. I didn’t care I just laughed. But Clington went Disneyland with Ow. and brought back the girls a “forky” each. And then he presented just one single unicorn teddy and when I asked who it was for he got cagey and said “anyone can have it. They only had one in the shop”. Okay so if they had one but it’s for the kids. You have one toy each already for the kids. Why buy just the one unicorn when you have three kids? I suppose we can all wonder who the unicorn is for. *cough* me *cough*.

Then it came to my weekend away. And I went out and lived my best life to the fullest. I reminded Clington on the Friday when he got the kids. I wasn’t back until the Tuesday. And he had a wobble. But it wasn’t my problem. Saturday morning at 6:05 am. I boarded a flight. Totally by myself to Ibiza! And had the best few days in Ibiza. What was funny is whilst I was away, I got sent a pic of Ow insta where she uploaded a quote which said “I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’ve been the bigger person for long enough. Fight them” Clington commented asking what it was about. She never replied to him. So the assumption is it was about me due to leaving him searching for Monday child care. (P.S this was August and I’m still waiting for this fight!)

When I got back from Ibiza Clington made a few very strange comments that I just ignored. But they ranged from “I’m worried about what a young single girl did in Ibiza” then to (and I quote) “I’m actually really offended you never invited me to Ibiza!”

Then a few days before D2 turned into D3 we had a convo where he said everyone following him on insta was “enemies” and said they were there because “keep your friends close and enemies closer” he also said “there isn’t a single person alive he actually trusts” not even Ow then hun?

Then the night before D2 birthday I noticed an account on my suggested people. Which means either we have a lot of mutual followers. I search this account but don’t follow it. Or this account was searching me but didn’t follow me. Upon a closer look this account has no mutual followers. It was also the first time I knew this account existed. Then I looked at the pics of uploaded and they were pics of trainers uploaded in Clingtons house! This account is 100% Clington but doesn’t follow Ow or Clington. So I imagine it’s his snooping page. I haven’t blocked it because 1) I don’t want him to know I know but also 2) I want him to now be able to see when Ow copies me and maybe he’ll see how weird she is!

The day of D3 birthday I pretended to do a voice note to my friend where I said “No CG I don’t even check who watches my insta stories but I really should” can we all guess what account then started watching my story! Hahaha.

We spent a nice family day together at the park as MIL was taking the children that evening so we didn’t have enough time to spend time with D3 separately. I must admit I am shocked when I invited him he came along but tbh I planned the park and wasn’t going to not take her based on him. He has the invite. But I guess that’s much better than last year when he didn’t show to her party and went away to fix things with Ow.

Then we had the kids back to school. And mainly since this school year started, we have done a fair few school runs together. I jumped on a few with him as D3 started the nursery and she’s now in nursery at the school all day Monday. All day Tuesday. And half of Wednesday. (Yes I have cried ALOT about this!) and so if D3 was in school on a day he was doing the school run I tagged along. I guess I needed to see she was okay going into school for my peace of mind. Because aside from the usual “first time leaving mum for nursery” situation we were in. She’s also non verbal and autistic so settling in was harder for her (and me) luckily so far she’s been okay. However she’s only been in for two weeks full time. But also on the days it was my day to do the school run weather D3 was in school or not. Clington started “tagging” along too. Even when he would bring the kids back he would tell them and they would tell me “oh dad will do the school run with you tomorrow mum”.

Now, as I explained over text message with Rising....it appears we may have a Ow number two. If that was the case. I have a inkling she’s gone now and was short lived. But there was a phase of around a month or so when Clington seemed happy but Ow would upload quotes that contradicted his happiness. Then she uploaded a few pics (on days he wasn’t home!) and she would say she was alone. So the question was where was Clington. Then Clington was away from Ow and his house for a night and went to see Ow on the Sunday with some flowers. She made a comment about them being random flowers. But that isn’t Clingtons style. That to me implies guilt...then a week or so later Clington brought the girls stuff back in a reusable bag from a supermarket. And in it was a receipt from that day. There was general items on there. And some bits for the kids but also a bottle of wine (Clington is teetotal - or was when with me!) chocolates AND flowers. None of these Ow uploaded.

Now ofcourse you could say maybe they were for her and she didn’t bother to upload these. But I doubt that. It seems very unlike her to not upload. I mean this is a woman that uploaded when Clington brought her a packet of crisps!! So who got these things? Not me and not MIL.

It was always a thing that me and Clington would go to London once a year. He’s now started doing this with Ow. And then it was D8 birthday and she wanted to see the queen. So I took her for a weekend in London just me and her. Honestly it was the best! I rewrote our old memories but I also got quality one on one time with my oldest baby!

And that mainly brings us up to date (apart from the change I’ll mention in a moment but that hasn’t happened yet).

As you can see some things are the same. Clington still tries to get me into bed. However, the big difference with this is. I’ve switched from saying no when I wanted to say yes. I was mainly saying no because I just didn’t want to be that person. And I hoped that it would help me feel better by saying no. But a part of me, a big part wanted to be close to him like old times again. And I found myself saying no but deep down wanting to say yes. Whereas now. I say no because it’s not what I want. I’ve moved forward too much to take 10 steps back. I actually think, one or the main reasons when I was intimate with him...I was being intimate with him because it felt like if I wasn’t. It was the end and I didn’t want that. Whereas now, if that’s the ultimate end. I’m okay with that!

And a few things have changed. I feel different in myself. I feel like the rope is almost dropped. It’s on the floor, but I’m balancing it on my pinky finger. That’s how close to being dropped I am. That I no longer care what he does with who he does it or when he does it. I’m actually a lot more open to dating now than I ever was. Ive even started talking to a few men. I’ve taken on a lot more of the bills and even got Clington to phone the gas supplier and put that in my name. It’s a prepaid meter so I was always paying it. But it left me unable to speak with them as I wasn’t the account holder. I also pay my sky bill myself. Direct debit set up etc. Clington tried to avoid this a lot and hasn’t put the account in my name. So I did the direct debit from the box. I’m not giving him the power to say “you have that because of me”.

The biggest change? Clington is moving out...I knew he would be as his mum had moved out. So she’s no longer paying her 1/3 and his brother has also found his own place. And soon he moves so Clington had to. He hasn’t said where he’s moving or who with...but I think we all know who he is moving with. And you know what, I’m actually very calm about it.

More than that, I’m also at a point where, if Clington wanted Ow to meet my kids. I would let her. The only thing is, I’m not sure that’s a road Clington will go down. However, I won’t stop it. The strange thing is....I don’t see Clington introducing them but at the same time I also don’t see him not having them overnight. So I don’t know what’s going to happen. I have no issue with Ow meeting my kids HOWEVER I’m not offering that to Clington. If he wants it to happen. He will have to ask me. So we will see what happens.

So as you can see a lot has happened in the past few months since my last post. Three holidays (technically 4 as we went the caravan twice!) three birthdays (D3 D8 and me!) but honestly I feel completely new. Clington moving is something I thought would affect me. But it hasn’t. I’m actually honestly genuinely okay with it. And I’ve known he was 100% moving for a few weeks now. I was okay with it the very first day and I’m still okay with it. So it’s a forever “I’m okay with it”. Never know guys, I may have a hunk on my arm soon enough now ha!

Previous thread:  https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10899.0
« Last Edit: October 04, 2019, 10:32:52 AM by Thunder »
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Offline islandgirl68

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Re: New me, who’s that?
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2019, 03:56:02 PM »
Well, well... what do you know the day I happen to log in to update I see you here  ;) I've been swamped at work and today is my first free day in a while ;D

You sound so good sacha. I of course have been ig stalking you and following you along on your adventures. Funny story before he deleted his insta, H was like "who is this Sacha person?" He insinuated you might be a fake account covering some sort of sordid affair I was imaginarily having  ::)  ;D ;D ;D I told H, "nevermind, I make friends from all over"  ;)

Keep living your best life girl! I am truly happy for you.
Me: 34
H: 37
S18; D11; D8; D5
Together 19 years, Married for 3
BD: 4/25/2017 (EA, FA)
BD: 4/10/2018 (EA same OW)
I'm finally discovering who I am

Online Rising Phoenix

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Re: New me, who’s that?
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2019, 11:27:06 AM »
Hello my lovely. London looked fab. Glad your back in hs. As we have said these men are strange lol xx
Me 51
H52
Married still, 22yrs
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

Offline sachat3Topic starterTopic starter

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Re: New me, who’s that?
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2019, 01:47:28 PM »
Island - hahaha! That is so funny! I don’t know weather to be flattered or offended that I’m a fake account haha

Rising - they certainly are. Even when I update my friends they just sit there open mouthed and say “wtf”. Praise the lord I jumped off the crazy train.

I’ve been again fairly quite this weekend. Been redecorating my hall stairs and landing which has proved to be the most awkward space to redecorate but hey. Making the house mine 🙃

On a side note regarding Clington moving out...I immediately assumed he would be forced into introducing the children to Ow. However, I’m now sensing that may not be the case. As he seems to be offering me the kids back on Saturday evening as opposed to them sleeping over. But it could be genuine. Two weekends ago he arrived at mine looking like death and claimed he had a kidney infection. Telling me he couldn’t pee without being in pain HAHA KARMA! So I asked did he want me to have the kids overnight as he was poorly. We then agreed that as he was working the next day and would need to drop the kids back at 6:30am. It may be best for them to stay with me. I was happy with this at the time as I could see he was ill, I didn’t have plans and I also didn’t fancy the kids coming back that early when if they were at home with me. They would wake up at 8. Then the weekend after me and D8 were in London and D3 and D5 were with MiL and then last week we had the same “I’m in work at 7am so would need to drop them off at 6:30” routine. Again as I had no plans. It wasn’t a issue them staying with me. But it I was out he would have had them overnight.

So I’m interested to see if this is a genuine thing due to me not having plans OR is it him trying to make it “normal” that the kids sleep at mine Saturday nights. I guess time will tell.

That said I am really hoping that I can be a fly on the wall when Ow and Clington move in if the kids do go to that house! I mean they will have gone from spending a few hours with each other every other day and one sleep over a week. To living with each other 24/7. With three kids in the house. What could possibly go wrong hey? 🤣
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Offline Savoir Faire

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Re: New me, who’s that?
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2019, 10:43:34 PM »
Definitely watching this space and will be chuckling along with you ;D

In such an inferior relationship, what could possibly go wrong ;D  Make sure the kids have lots of sugar before they go there.
"And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories,
I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying: ""She loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I tried to destroy her."  He failed by the way. 
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8412(Denjef's thread)

Offline sachat3Topic starterTopic starter

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Re: New me, who’s that?
« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2019, 01:10:15 AM »
Haha. I know SF what could possibly go wrong? I mean it’s the perfect relationship right?

Funnily enough, Clington himself recently bought the kids a T-shirt each that reads “Mummy is the Queen and I’m the princess”. I think that will have to be the outfit of choice tbh.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Offline Mortesbride

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Re: New me, who’s that?
« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2019, 02:08:12 AM »
Welcome back! Long time no see!  8)
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Offline sachat3Topic starterTopic starter

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Re: New me, who’s that?
« Reply #7 on: October 10, 2019, 04:04:58 AM »
Thanks morte - I’m currently trying to catch up on your thread. Can’t believe how much I’ve missed ha!


Well looks like I may have just got my first taste of “monster”. Boy isn’t it funny to notice how the switch can get flicked!

Now to set the scene we’re almost at Clingtons weekends off. How it happens is usually I have one full weekend kid free. Clington has one full weekend kid free. Then we split a weekend. Now on the split weekend as Saturday is “my day” I have the option to split my Saturday for half of Sunday. I usually rake this option as it means I can come home after a night out and not have the kids back at 9am Sunday morning!

So Clington came over as usual for school. All is normal. So I say “is it this Saturday you want to split?” Now about 30 seconds prior to me asking this. Clington received a text and was replying to it. I was doing D5 hair so I didn’t have chance to check his face to gather his mood. And from this WW3 erupted. It appeared that Clington wanted me to swap the Sunday from my full weekend. Which wasn’t happening. I said something along the lines of
“Oh if you want to be a C U Next Tuesday then that’s how we will play things”
He then replied “what do you mean by that?” I repeated myself and he stormed out and called me a spiteful b!tch. Slammed the door and at that moment his mum was leaving the house and heard it all. So he chatted to his mum. She then came over and what not. She told the girls to go out to daddy when they were ready. So atleast he was still doing the school run. But weather he was coming back for D3 was anybodies guess.

Anyway, he came back and I then probably will a bit of fight still in me said “oh so I take it on your weekend. We’re splitting that Sunday too?” And he then explained he didn’t mean split the Sunday from my full weekend. He meant from when he’s only off on the Sunday. He admitted it was probably a misscommunication problem. Which tbh I agree with.
He then also apologised for calling me a spiteful b!tch.

Now, was it a communication issue? Or did Clington realise he couldn’t manipulate me and have a change of heart? Did he get triggered by whoever/whatever text he received? Is there a underlying stress going on that caused him to “snap”? Is it all of these things? Tbh I’m not really sure and I don’t think it matters if I’m honest.

What does matter is the fact that, Clington didn’t run from D3. Like I would expect him to. He also apologised for his actions. Which is very unlike Clington. He’s one of those “sweep under the carpet act like it never happened” type of people.

This all happened before 9am and then the apology was around 9:15am.

And in true MLC fashion, at 11:50am. Clington is now loading up his car with my carpet I’ve ripped up and is doing a skip run.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: New me, who’s that?
« Reply #8 on: October 10, 2019, 04:32:52 AM »
Well, your life is certainly not boring <snort>
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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Offline sachat3Topic starterTopic starter

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Re: New me, who’s that?
« Reply #9 on: October 10, 2019, 02:16:35 PM »
Oh Um how I crave a boring life. Just for a while anyway haha!

So since that blow up Clington has been super strange. Flipping between “oh so super helpful” and “can’t look at her in the face so I’ll stare at the floor” funny old world isn’t it.

But in a true turn of events that could only be categorised under MLC. Here’s my evening giggle.

Ow - for the purpose or the tape haha! Is a tall-ish very skinny girl. I have mentioned it before but she looks very skeletal. Okay?

So Clington bring the girls stuff back and he clicks a Barbie doll on the side. The Barbie doll is naked waist down so Clington looks at her. Picks her up and says “look she even has bum cheeks”.  And I just shook my head like “really! Your looking at barbies bum!” And then I said

“Yuno I’m reallt impressed Cos they’ve started making Barbie with different skin tones, different hair colours. They even have some chubby barbies”
To which Clington pops up quick as a whippet and says

“Yeah Cos nobody likes a skinny b!tch”

No Clington no, nobody does but yet here you are shacked up with one but hey. Nobody likes a skinny b!tc#.

I’m always baffled when he makes remarks like this. I can’t work out of it comes from a place of “I need to release this somewhere so I’ll say it to Sacha Cos she might not know” or is it “sacha hint hint wink wink”.

I mean really it doesn’t matter. Just makes me wonder.
Me - 27
H - 34
3 children together D2 D5 D7
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017

 

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