Author Topic: My Story Our Midlife Journey  (Read 456 times)

Offline Anjae

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My Story Re: Our Midlife Journey
« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2019, 11:06:28 AM »
From what you write there are two sets of issues. Drinking and MLC. The drinking was always there for both of you, be it excessive or not.

Meanwhile, you think you had a MLC and your wife is having one. Explosive mix.

Since there is little you can do for your wife, maybe you can use the time to further work on yourself?

As Ursa said, you will need to be the stable parent. Your boys need you.

What is the root problem?
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline TicomanTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Our Midlife Journey
« Reply #11 on: October 11, 2019, 11:50:12 AM »
One of the symptoms of I midlife crisis is the abuse of alcohol and or drugs I have read. So I think the root problem is the MLC that is causing the excessive drinking. The AP one of her drinking buddies. IMHO if she wasn’t going through her MLC she would not be doing all the coo coo stuff she is doing. She turned overnight into the complete opposite of the woman I married.
The good news, lately there has been no monstering; she is lovey dovey instead. The bad news, she is still hanging out with the AP on my back.
What could be bad news for them is if my cousin finds out they’re seen each other, but that is their problem and I don’t relate with my cousin so I would not be the one telling her.
TICO
“It can’t rain all the time”.

Offline TicomanTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Our Midlife Journey
« Reply #12 on: October 14, 2019, 06:37:51 AM »
So, my MLCer has been very calm lately. Every chance she gets she tells me she loves me and there has been none of the heavy drinking for a long time. Spends a lot of time on her phone playing video games or in social media. She gets a little flustered with the boys sometimes. What I do is to get them away or ask them to be quiet (kids are kids). Still spending a lot. The other day we talked about that and she recognizes she can be a compulsive spender as she has had that problem when she gets depressed in the past. Other than that not much going on in the household.
Today is our son’s bday ;-).
“It can’t rain all the time”.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2019, 07:13:37 AM by Ticoman »
“It can’t rain all the time”.

Offline OldPilot

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Re: Our Midlife Journey
« Reply #13 on: October 14, 2019, 08:48:43 AM »
The other day we talked about that and she recognizes she can be a compulsive spender as she has had that problem when she gets depressed in the past.
Let me just say that she is likely always depressed even when she seems normal and this is likely a lot of the problems in your marriage.

You didn't break her and you can not fix her.

That is totally up to her.

Best to keep on worrying about YOU and your children.

Offline TicomanTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Our Midlife Journey
« Reply #14 on: October 18, 2019, 09:23:21 PM »
Thank you Old Pilot; I’ve been taking care of the boys and myself lately. I guess that shook my MLCer
as she has lately been looking to spend time with us more often. Before she only complained I was the only one that got to do fun things with the boys (well, they’re always with me Sherlock, when they’re with you, you’re either drunk or to hangover to do anything). She stoped drinking as of the time being, and the kids and Myself are actually very happy she is joining us in the fun.
Real story about this. A few months back while my MlCer and my son were playing trivia at a restaurant, the question cake up. What would you be doing if it was Friday evening: choices
Going out dancing
Having a drink
Spending time with family
And another option I don’t remember.
My MLCer picked spending time with family.
Me: good choice
MLCer: stop that
S8: well mommy, you don’t spend time with us
MLCer: what are talking about son? I always do
So: not all the time
Mlcer: your mom is putting ideas in his head
Me: my mom doesn’t speak English
MLCer: Our son understan enough of your primary language
Me: I know both languages fluently and I know my son does not know enough to translate that
MLCer: :o
“It can’t rain all the time”.

 

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