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Author Topic: My Story Rebuilding Letting go

R
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My Story Rebuilding Re: Letting go
#20: October 14, 2019, 10:38:25 AM
Thinking of you today.
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Re: Letting go
#21: October 14, 2019, 12:00:40 PM
add me in too.

I'm always happy to see updates from you. God bless and keep in touch.
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Re: Letting go
#22: October 14, 2019, 03:29:36 PM
Hope everything went okay today.
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You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

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Re: Letting go
#23: October 15, 2019, 12:17:36 AM
Thinking of you, NoE.xxx
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

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Re: Letting go
#24: October 15, 2019, 01:05:55 AM
In my prayers, dear girl x
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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Re: Letting go
#25: February 18, 2020, 06:39:18 PM
I haven't been here in so long.  My h is really doing well.  We are so strong now. I didn't know how he'd do with me having breast cancer but he is amazing.  He has now been home longer than he was gone. Life between us is so good.  He continues with counseling and goes with me to my appointments. 

I have one more chemo,  then hopefully will be back to work in March. This has been such a long tough road but I am looking forward to getting life back to normal.   I am very emotional but am trying very hard to focus on my blessings.  I have triple negative breast cancer which is the most aggressive and most likely for recurrence.   I am trying to live every day as best I can, but truth be told,  I am scared,   Scared of recurrence,  scared of metastasis.   I don't tell my h, my mother,  because I want them to be okay.   But my chance of metastasis is 25%.  1 in 4.  That is my reality. Metastasis typically occurs in the lungs or the brain,  both of which scare the hell out of me.  I want to see my grandbabies grow up.  I want to grow old with my h.

MLC sucks but cancer sucks so much worse.  Please continue to pray for me.   Thank you all for everything you've done for me.  I love you all.
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Married 11 1/2 years, together 18.  BD 9/2016, 2nd BD 10/16.  H moved out 10/16.  2 AS's from my first M.  Me 55, H 50. OW 23.  Moved back 4/18.  Reconnecting and working on our M.

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through; how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure if the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain; when you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person that walked in...that's what this storm is all about."

"The trick is to enjoy life.  Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones."

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Re: Letting go
#26: February 19, 2020, 01:00:27 AM
Hi No Ex,
Glad to hear from you but sorry that you are facing this scare. That H has stepped up to the plate for you is wonderful news and I am so happy for you, despite the current prognosis. Having a 3 out of 4 chance that it is gone though is a good thing to focus on I think... Sending up a prayer for you ...
UM
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Me - 56, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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Re: Letting go
#27: February 19, 2020, 01:25:36 AM
Dear, dear NoE, thank you for updating us on how well your H is continuing to do and how much you are loving having him at home again.

I'm very sorry that you are facing this aggressive cancer but glad you came here to share these fears. I agree with UM, a 1 in 4 chance that your kind of cancer can come back is not bad at all. I'm sure you're not the only one on here dealing with something like this whilst also trying to embrace the joys in every day. I think this is one of the most positive lessons we learn here after BD - to smell the flowers, and you have lots of them around you at the moment, not least these two grandchildren. I have no doubt that if anyone can pull through this it's you. You have been the most amazing, positive trouper through all you have had to face with your health, your mom, and MLC. Always that little girl smile on your face.

Fear seems to carry many angles. You fear not growing old with your H, not seeing your grandkids grow up, but you got to have grandkids, and your H came home. He's beside you and hugging you through all this. It's human to be looking at what we're missing out on (the greener grass) than to see what we have right here today and tomorrow.

Sending you hugs and strength. We are all here for you. xxxxx
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

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Re: Letting go
#28: February 19, 2020, 01:45:11 AM
Agree with everything UM and Milly said. You are always in our prayers whether you post or not. X

I am glad that, amongst the fears and tough things, there are also things that you are grateful for and that your h has been able to support you in ways that you feared he would not, NoEx. What I did think though reading your update - whilst I understand the reasons why you would not share some of these feelings with your h or your mother - there is a fine awkward line between protecting others and dealing with the normal realities of how you feel in a way which focuses on your self-care needs. Do you have someplace else or someone else to listen if you need to talk through this stuff? A good friend? A cancer support group? An HS chum with similar experience who will listen offline? An IC?

People deal with these normal and understandable feelings in different ways of course, but if you feel a need to be heard, I hope you will accept that it is ok if you do, that it may be part of managing your overall health and that it is ok to find a safe place to do that which might not involve your family.
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« Last Edit: February 19, 2020, 01:46:55 AM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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Re: Letting go
#29: February 19, 2020, 04:34:21 AM
Hello,

Nothing but prayers from me to you. I am so glad that your H has been your rock and continues to be the rock. 

((((hugs)))

Ready
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"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

 

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