Author Topic: My Story New To Forum But Not To MLC  (Read 503 times)

Offline Nas

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My Story Re: New To Forum But Not To MLC
« Reply #20 on: October 11, 2019, 11:55:01 AM »
Welcome, Mabel.  I don't post often anymore but am following your new thread and think you will find this forum extremely supportive and helpful to you.  You sound very self-aware, and I echo the sentiment that your contribution as an MLCer and an LBS will both be equally welcome. 
In terms of timeline, I'm a little bit ahead of you.  I'm sorry you find yourself in the position of LBS, but glad you found this place to tell your story!
Married 8 years at BD, together 16.
BD March 2015
H moved out July 2015
I found out about OW March 2016 (She went to high school with H, long distance EA since September 2014, became PA November 2015)
H moved 1100 miles to live with OW June 2016
I was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer June 2017
H became a vanisher

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: New To Forum But Not To MLC
« Reply #21 on: October 11, 2019, 01:48:35 PM »
Welcome Mabel. Happy you found this site (although not the circumstances). My BD was also May 2016. Seems like yesterday, and yet also strangely, seems like a lifetime ago. Like you, I think I had a MLT just prior to BD.  I also have 2 extremely important people in my life who are just getting over their MLCs (sister and a bff). So definitely no judgment here.

Anyway, just letting you know we are here. And glad you have some troops to bounce ideas off--it truly has been a lifeline for me.

Enjoy your Friday night wine. I'm about 5 hours away from having mine. ;)
Me 48
H 47
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline Anjae

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Re: New To Forum But Not To MLC
« Reply #22 on: October 11, 2019, 03:17:50 PM »
Hello and welcome, Mabel.

I want to be completely transparent from the offset but I'm incredibly nervous.  You see, I had an MLC (albeit MUCH milder than my XH's) and I truly believe that that may have been one of the main catalysts for my XH's MLC.  (Note that I say 'catalyst' not 'cause'.)

Another that had a MLC, albeit much, much milder than Mr J's one. Mine come with BD.

The only difference is, I suppose, that I have a bit more of an insight into an MLCer's mind.  It doesn't lessen the pain though, believe me.  I'm a little worried there might be those who think I am less-deserving of support?  I yearn to talk with other LBSs; it has been a terribly lonely journey so far.


I have a bit of insight into a MLCers mind, but at a point I stop having a clue about what is going on with a MLCer like Mr J. Two totally different beasts.

You are not less deserving of support, you're a LBS yourself.

I have found a letter I wrote to my XH one month after he delivered his bomb.  In it, I detail how I had felt in MLC and how I understood what he was going through.  Should I share excerpts on here? 

Yes, please.

I also know quite a bit about the mindset of an MLCer, having been one. If you think that sharing my own experience and recollections of my MLC might help just one person, I would be more than happy to pay it forward.

You're welcome to do so.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Wilderheart

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Re: New To Forum But Not To MLC
« Reply #23 on: October 14, 2019, 07:04:03 AM »
Hi Mabel attaching

 

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