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Author Topic: Mirror-Work #LBSgoals

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Mirror-Work Re: #LBSgoals
#10: October 13, 2019, 11:47:50 AM
1. Accept.
2. Have compassion and do everything from love.
3. Lose weight.
4. Remodel my home.
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M 54
H 49
M 12 years; together 17 years
D19, S29
Summer 2014 - H wanted to runaway
9/14 I was diagnosed with Breast cancer
11/14 Surgery for BC..3 day after my father dies
11/14 BD 2 days after surgery. I have no passion for you.
2/15 moved out
Dated each other all year affection back on..
3/16 moved home
7/16 Diagnosed with Breast cancer again
8/16 No affection again. I knew something was wrong.
9/16 Another surgery for Breast Cancer
9/16 BD 11 days after surgery discovered -EA with much younger W from Work. That is over. I think he has meaningless flings. Work is his mistress
10/16 I filed for D (financial reasons)
10/16 I moved out.
10/16 vanisher
5/17 Divorce final
S
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Re: #LBSgoals
#11: October 13, 2019, 09:18:19 PM
I like this.

1. Continue getting my health on track. I'm down to just my yearly physical now.

2. Work on my weight. I joined weight watchers 2 weeks ago, next step is getting into the gym

3. Continue work on me. I'm working on being a better partner in a relationship. I want to be the best I can
    be in my next relationship, whatever that will be.

4. I started a new small business a few months ago. I will be building that up so I can be self sufficient and
    not need to depend on anyone.

5. I'm going to join my local VFW. I have always wanted to do volunteer work for our Vets. This will also
    allow me to meet friends that are just mine.

6. Set up my apartment that will be all mine. I have never lived alone. I'm excited and scared of this
    endeavor.
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When the power of love overcomes the love of power there will be peace.

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass its about learning to dance in the Rain

Be a pineapple; Stand tall. Wear a crown. Be sweet on the Inside.
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Re: #LBSgoals
#12: October 14, 2019, 12:50:24 PM
My current goals:

1)  Get debt free less mortgage.  On track for December.

2)  Attend flight school and obtain my private pilots's license.  On track for early/mid 2020.

3)  Attend a few college courses to get some certifications under my belt in preparation for the next goal-On track for mid/late 2020:

4)  Change careers/relocate.  On track to start the process in 2021.

5)  Purchase my childhood dream cabin in the mountains (NOT a MLCer cabin in the woods).  Timeline TBD.  Changing jobs/careers won't be instantaneous.  I have a specific place of employment to shoot for.

And in between each one of these goals, take the time to enjoy myself, go to new places, try new things, and take the time to stop and smell the roses along the journey.

-T
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« Last Edit: October 14, 2019, 12:59:57 PM by terrified_in_TN »
M
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Re: #LBSgoals
#13: October 15, 2019, 10:51:02 AM
I'll try but right now mine are really simple. At least simple to write. Harder to accomplish.

1. Learn how to enjoy today.

2. Learn to appreciate the past without dwelling on it.

3. Try to find a vision for the future.
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Re: #LBSgoals
#14: October 15, 2019, 12:53:50 PM
My Goals:

1.  Continue to work on my health and fix the fixable.

2.  Get back to exercising regularly after my surgery.

3.  Pay down joint debt so that I won't need spousal support....just in case.....planning for the worse case scenario!

4.  Stabilize my primary business after changes occurred that are out of my control.

5.  Grow my secondary business and hire another person.

6.  Loose another 25 pounds in 2020.

7.  Spend as much time as I can in the pool next summer!

8.  Continue working on my personal emotional growth.

9.  Get better at pickleball!

10.  Love and support my friends and family unconditionally yet within boundaries that benefit me!

I think this is plenty to keep me busy but these are the things that are most important to me in no particular order!
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10.29.17 BD-Moved out to OW/A began in  6.17
3.5.18 OW moved away/H moved in with F
3.19.18  H moved home
7.14.18  Moved to be with OW
9.4.18  Moved back-At Parents 
11.1.18  OW back.  H living w/her in D's basement 
11.18 - H started visiting on holidays
11.26.18 Call from H.  BIL died suddenly.
1.19 - H announced  that he moved to sisters
2.19  H volunteers to house and dog sit whenever.
Spring 19  H visiting house and doing chores on a regular basis
7.20 OW2 Confirmed  5 hrs away 
Summer of 2020 Less help with chores
Early Spring 2021 - helping with chores again then stopped and is getting more distant gradually
9/21 distancing growing worse...hardly see or hear from H
4/22 getting in touch more but sporadically
M
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Re: #LBSgoals
#15: October 21, 2019, 06:00:43 PM
Great thread, Nas!

There were many goals from other LBSs I felt myself nod to. Right now I'm going to say I want to:
1   live within my means, whatever that requires
2   improve my rental so it earns better for me from next year
3   smell the roses
4   detach from my H

My goals may change. These are my goals today.   
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D26, D23, S16
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.
K
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Re: #LBSgoals
#16: October 28, 2019, 11:40:47 AM
Yes I am nodding to so many other LBS' goals.

Brain--YES, all of that for sure.

And also:

1. Live in the moment
2. Find a charity (probably homeless/women's shelter) and start volunteering time with S on weekends
3. Practice patience
4. Drink less
5. Figure out who I really want to be
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Me 50
H 49
S15
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance
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