[Jackolar12]

Hi Thunder, I’m sorry you heard similar words, I was shattered I bet you were too. I feel for all the newbies here just starting their journey as I was a complete mess and broken. A part of me died that day as I knew we were finished when she spoke those words...A real dagger through my heart.

The work Shock Sis is doing here will give the newbies a first hand account of the mind set of Shock Sis at the time and help them to digest the many useful articles provided and make their own comparisons regarding their Mlc Spouse. Keep up the good work SS 👍👌
Kind regards
Jack

[Busy_Bee]

KIT,
Sooner or later all of them would turn having an overt depression, means they are in liminality.

First 3 stages of MLC spent in overt depression which you can manage by shutting it down with reply activities. Fantasy would not work anymore..neighter for a wallower or a high energy replyer...doesn't matter the type. Process is the same for evertybody.

[Busy_Bee]

Sorry ,
COVERT depression goes together with liminality
If you see monstering from your MLCer , he is not good

[Thunder]

Jack, thank you.  He was convinced I didn't love him and nothing I said would change his mind.
Crazy times.

[Jackolar12]

Hi Thunder mine was quite sure too,  resolute that she would be better off without me, I guess she did win mr cheater pants as a consolation prize. It’s just a matter of time to find out who cheats on who first.
Jack

[Shockandawe]

Hi Sea, Rose and Anon

I think how I wrote that was misleading. I will try again.
What I refer to as Pre MLC, when I didn’t know it was MLC and had very negative feelings and thoughts mingled in with normal feelings and thoughts and feelings of love then hatred. It was very confusing and very frightening if I’m honest. This time was to me at that point the worst because I was beginning to lose myself and I thought I was going mad.
Once replay as you call it hit I felt happy in that my fantasy was under my control if you like as in my own movie which I both wrote and decided who was going to be in it or not. I felt happy because I had my perfect leading man who I could interact with or not when I wanted ( remember he wasn’t in my country and I could go see him and be in my happy selfish bubble) and I could do and say as I pleased.
Once I started to doubt the fantasy and began to see the reality this became my worst part and so as each stage was entered they then became the worst part but in reality, with the benefit of hindsight ALL of it was horrible but ALL of it was necessary.
Hope that helps

[Shockandawe]

Hi all,

Another thread already.
BIB thank you for the guidance on blocking, much appreciated.
Sea I monstered a lot at first when I was at my angriest but my anger changed to indifference and I really couldn’t care less about my ex h. As awful as that is to type let alone think it was true at that time.
Thank you again for all your support and interest. I will never be driven away by certain people or the things they say. I am a recovered MLCer and I am a lot stronger and wiser for it.
Please feel free to ask questions and as always I will do my best to answer you.
Above all you wonderful army of LBSers, know you are all good people and ALL of you don’t deserve what is happening to you because of one very broken and fragile person.
Be strong because your MLCER isn’t, be brave because your MLCer isn’t. Look after you and let your MLCer go for a ride on the crazy bus whilst you keep your feet planted firmly on the ground for there is nothing you can do for them at this time but everything you can do for yourselves.

Shocks sis

Previous thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11177.0

[rosetintedglasses]

Sis

I love being first to a thread! Thanks for your answer to my question about the worst parts of your MLC. It seemed like the beginning and end of the tunnel were harder than going through it when you were in complete fantasy. It’s so interesting.

If there are any parts of anything you remember or what to just mention we’d love to hear them!

Thanks a lot
Rose 🌹

[Wilderheart]

Attatching and thank you SS

[Seahorse]

Thank you SS

It is more clear when you put it that way.
I think us LBSers see it the same way.
It is horrible before we understand about MLC when the hatred and not knowing what's going on is occurring.
Once we understand MLC a bit, it makes it easier to understand what the MLCer is doing, even if not understanding what is going on in their mind.
I was able to accept it once I understood that he was living a totally different life than he had in 34 years because of something HE was choosing to do, not because of something I had done.

I think my H is still in replay, and nowhere near hitting the realization that that the fantasy is just that.  No introspection yet whatsoever (that I am aware of or can see anyway).

Thank you for your clarification.

Sea