[Jackolar12]

That’s a positive Rosetintedglasses, I haven’t done much on the Male Andropause as in my disaster movie a female had the leading role. Perhaps one of you ladies might want to look into the Andropause and possible links as a component to MLC.

It’s better done by different genders as there’s less observer bias by the researcher. Perhaps a group of you doing it as the research can be very time consuming. I spent 6 hours and 40 minutes last week on research and different forums I either visit or answer questions on daily so it gobbles up your time.

If there’s enough interest and support for the theory I can search for more self reports from people going through this phase who attribute their marriages being destroyed by the menopause in either gender. We can then debate if this applies to MLC. It would be better if these were academic reports so if anyone has any please send the link to me.
Kind regards
Jack

[terra]

Jackolar, I would totally love it if you or mods would split the thread off into a separate examination of menopause or andropause. I also think it would be helpful if you share more there about andropause, being that you are male and can speak to that experience firsthand and with authority.

I don’t mind telling you gently, but with conviction, that not even the premier female physicians and mental health experts can speak on menopause with any authority at all. It is a highly individual and highly subjective internal experience, and only the woman going through it herself can speak on it. And that’s only if she can find the words, because some of it is deep enough so as to be verbally inexpressible.

The midlife transitions are not just of the body or of the mind. They are of the soul and spirit as well, and no statistician, physician, or psychologist is going to ever put together a study or report that captures it all. We are talking about the universe of the individual body and the many galaxies within the individual’s mind and various life histories, all true and yet some histories possibly now obsolete or no longer needed or relevant. To that end, the only real explanation we can have or give is our very own individual one.

For sure, square in what I think is likely my final year of perimenopause or indeed early in first year of actual menopause, your dogged focus on a — or any, or every — woman’s natural inescapable God-given reproductive system processes MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, SAD, ANGRY, AND NERVOUS.

And I don’t mean I don’t like you or don’t value your interest or curiosity here. I do mean that as a man, it’s better for me as a woman navigating this strange and unexpectedly uncomfortable life passage that you back off a bit and maybe stay out of it. No man on earth is going to understand the full import of what peri or full menopause means in a woman’s mind, heart, body, and life.

It’s like you trying to grasp what we feel during a menstrual cycle. No matter how many girls and women you have witnessed or read about or cared for or taken heat from, you just are not ever going to know what any She herself is feeling, experiencing, and enduring.

That’s Her body and heart and mind, with all it’s mysteries and confusions and strengths.

From you, I want to hear more about Yours. Your gift of study and curiosity can be more powerful and better informed as you use it to speak of all things He and His, Me, Mine.

Thanks for listening, apologies for the derail, and a promise that these words are not driven by menopause or even femaleness but honestly just to acknowledge and communicate that it’s possible some clarity or redirect is needed here.

[Anon]

Jackolar, I would totally love it if you or mods would split the thread off into a separate examination of menopause or andropause.

I agree with this primarily because it’s a discussion that should have its own thread apart from Shock Sis story.

[Jackolar12]

Terra with all due respect as a fellow member, I believe that my ex wife, that I dearly loved had either an MLC or menopausal change of character or both. I’m simply trying to find out which was the most likely and if one influenced the other. I am sure that others want to find out why their significant others derailed too and try to get closure do you say the same things to them.

My questions are specifically for shock Sis as a recovered Mlcer and not generalised across the board to every woman who goes through this natural process that hasn’t had a crisis on this site as there’s no point. If some have had both I’m all ears though.

I’m simply trying to find out if there may be links between MLC and Menopause as I haven’t found a great deal of academic research on it to date and what’s there are big Pharma orientated.think I posted one I found a few posts back in answer to another poster in support of the “no link camp”. Sure others intervene and I try to answer them as best I can. As long as their respectful that is.

 I can get the flavour from some posters comments on this subject that meno might be a little unsettling to some going through meno around this time and perhaps also a man might not understand this time of change, so I have held off starting a thread as I mentioned to another who posted recently and intervened in my question again specifically for Shock Sis.

This site is predominantly female after all. But you can start one if you wish on the Male menopause which I believe I’m in at the moment and I will try to help answering questions. But I haven’t had an MLC so I see no point on an MLC related topic.

Shock Sis has been so helpful to me in trying to find out and in her case the menopause did not contribute to her MLC. It’s been great having her here and I wish there were more like her. She’s on a mission to help us understand and is a star.

I have now enquired about fears during this time as the MLC May be driven by fears of some type and could have a bearing on the fog as I have a theory about this too which involves the limbic system, and in particular the Amygdala. Foo issues is another area I would like to dive into in the future but I need to read around it first.

I hope you understand why I am trying to put two and two together, to get closure for the extreme emotional pain that still exists after my Mlcer who I still love blew up not only my life but more importantly my children’s.

The oldest of my daughters who she used to hide her adultery is now spiralling into psychotic episodes and having dark thoughts and hearing voices which I firmly believe were caused by my ex wife’s heinous emotional abuse using my children to suppress the truth from their father over several years. Both as a father and a former happy husband and now an unhappy victim of the MLC I need to find the truth...isn’t that what this site is for, support and increasing knowledge about MLC. And hopefully get along and be tolerant and respectful to each other.
Jack

[Milly]

Jack, I'm another female member finding it very uncomfortable to read your continuous posts on the menopause. Would you please start a new thread of your own. My impression is that Shock's sis has told you more than once that she does not think in her case they are connected so please could you leave it at that on this thread.

I tend you feel like Terra, please speak about andropause, because unless you are a doctor, I'm not at all comfortable with this discussion.

[3Boys4Me]

Jack, please listen to the many female posters who are letting you know the way you are approaching this subject is uncomfortable, including Shock Sis - add me to that list.

It really is as simple as this - menopause is a normal biological change every woman goes through much like puberty. Not every woman goes into MLC, only a a very small minority have a crisis that completely disrupts their lives like our spouses. Your wife may indeed by impacted by hormonal issues or brain chemistry imbalance but that would be a sample of 1. MLC often hits many many years prior to peri menopause or menopause. We female non MLCers are letting you know, as gently as possible to please stop - without trying to be overly critical, your repeated attempts sound a lot like “mansplaining” to me about menopause, and I really object to that...

[Jackolar12]

Anon I won’t reply to others who now enquire of me while on Shock Sis thread while I’m waiting for my answers. You’ve enquired of me twice and I have answered you in good faith as I have done with others while waiting. Please if I’m having dialog with a specific person in the future and waiting for their reply don’t jump into the conversations with your comments as I don’t like it, and I will reciprocate.
Jack

[Jackolar12]

Ok folks, my intentions are good so the menopause is taboo from now on, I would appreciate any reports you may find to the contrary in your travels and also as I said to Anon when I’m asking a specific question directed at a person you don’t jump into my conversation until I get their replies as replying gobbles up my time and puts me off track somewhat.
Kind regards
Jack

[Anon]

Anon I won’t reply to others who now enquire of me while on Shock Sis thread while I’m waiting for my answers. You’ve enquired of me twice and I have answered you in good faith as I have done with others while waiting. Please if I’m having dialog with a specific person in the future and waiting for their reply don’t jump into the conversations with your comments as I don’t like it, and I will reciprocate.
Jack

also as I said to Anon when I’m asking a specific question directed at a person you don’t jump into my conversation until I get their replies as replying gobbles up my time and puts me off track somewhat.

Uh, what??? If you are referring to me, I have no idea what you are talking about !!  Please re-read my posts Jack and explain what your problem is because I don't get it.   This thread has gotten a bit ridiculous now.

May we please get back to this being ShockSis thread? 

[Jackolar12]

Hi Anon, here’s what I’m relating to and I responded to this with some academic and personal report on the subject which ties up the thread but requires an answer none the less to your statement directed to me.

“Jackolar,,, I'm sorry but I too, think you are barking up the wrong tree.”  All I was after is shocks opinion on her MLC Anon.

I may be Anon but I’ve moved to a different line of enquiry now due to the subject being unsettling to some and that’s not my intentions just to gain knowledge and heal. I have been interested in the possibility of links to the meno it might explain a lot in a certain percentage of MLC women and quite possibly my Mlcer.

 I don’t know much about the Andropause so I would have to read around it. But I will do this privately of course. I’m more interested now in the fears experienced and the origin of the fog I think it may have some mileage.

“Jackolar, I would totally love it if you or mods would split the thread off into a separate examination of menopause or andropause.
I agree with this primarily because it’s a discussion that should have its own thread apart from Shock Sis story.”

I did want to start a thread but decided earlier on against it as it it made some uncomfortable I don’t know why exactly, but I’m happy to leave the meno where it is and be a team player. I was conscious of tying up the thread so I really didn’t want to answer anyone’s questions or respond to statements directed to me as I was just after shocks replies as I was on her thread.
Kind regards
Jack