[Standing Strong]

Hello LBS family 

Everybody goes thru their 1st holiday season without their MLC'er (or even a live-in who is only semi-there).

What did you do to keep your mind off it, cope, keep busy, happy, etc.

What was your 1st like, and what have you done since? Any activities in particular?

-SS

[Standing Strong]

Oh.. I realize I didn't put down what I'm going to do  (or think I will do).... LOL!!!!!

This year I'm going to go watch a Christmas Light Parade..... 1st time doing that  (W will be here for that)
They have a light show at the botanical gardens, I'll go at least once (probably twice) while W is gone. That will be amazing, always wanted to just sit for hours and people watch in the cold.
If there's a tour of homes with lights I'd probably do that too.
Hmmmm... there's a theme brewing here

Christmas night..... hmmmmm...... what's a good place to go on Christmas night? Waffle House? I do love Waffle House.

New Years.... meh. All the drunks are out. I'll stay home for that one. Too bad I don't have d!ck Clark to hang with anymore, but I will watch the ball drop.


-SS

[nah]

Since the first Christmas since BD. My son and I go out for sushi.

[Father5]

   This is a greta idea for a thread. I am at a loss on what to do. We split X mas with the kids I get Xmas Eve this year. I can't this year but my goal is to get to a place where I can be strong enough to do them together. Ultimately I will miss my step kids as well as my own kids every other year. I am not happy about that. I can't let her take that away from me if I can help it.

[Couragedearheart]

I don’t know if this helps, but if you are facing being alone for the holidays.....feel free to adopt some little travel nurses.
I know some thanksgivings when we don’t have family coming I post at the hospital and offer a friendsgiving and invite the travel nurses to come have a homemade dinner since they are often unable to go home to their own families.

[Seahorse]

The first Christmas, when H was still home was horrible.
We were all decorating the tree (me and the boy), and H was sitting in a chair on his phone.
MLC was in full bloom, but I had no idea what was going on.

Now, I still decorate the house fully, and cut down a tree with my S18.
We cook a big dinner and I have all the boys and their GF at the house.
H usually drops gifts on the doorstep for the boys before daylight and runs (at least for the last 2 years).

I keep busy, wrapping, decorating, baking and enjoying the season to the max!
I love the holidays and won't let this stupid MLC bring me down or prevent my enjoyment with my sons.

There are ice castles in NH that I REALLY want to see, but not sure if I can get to it this year or not!
There is a light show at the botanical garden that I will probably get too.  It's about 45 minutes from my house.

Sea

[Marchingforward]

The first was really hard because h left at the end of October. I don’t actually remember much and apparently I hosted thanksgiving for my family. 

Last year I hosted a cookie exchange for my friends. I also went out and did a bunch of holiday stuff I always wanted to do (light shows, holiday concerts, plays, etc).

[UrsaMajor]

My ABD was on 3rd Advent so about 2 weeks before Christmas.. I managed to maintain my composure through the Christmas Eve Dinner and then xW took the kids and left for her mom's on Christmas Day. I spent about 48 hours only getting up from the sofa to walk my dog... On the first day when I could go shopping again (27th) I decided to invite a dozen neighbors to the place formerly known as home for a pot-luck dinner and a Whisky-Tasting.

The following years (2016-2018) I cooked our traditional Christmas Eve Dinner for (now)xW and the kids and then for the 25th and 26th have usually been invited to someone's house.

This year, since her D is now final, I'm spending Christmas Eve with friends and then my kids and I will have Christmas Day with other friends so xW is not involved nor is she invited. Last Christmas Eve (2018) she spent most of the evening on her phone anyway so it is no big loss.

She was upset that I didn't want to celebrate Christmas Eve with her this year but, well, hey, that IS what divorce means...

[New Day Rising]

My bomb drop was just after Christmas 2015. He made Christmas 2015 absolutely miserable for many of us - not just me. Absolutely disgusting behaviour and I wonder why I tolerated it.

In 2016 and 2017, my ex came on Christmas morning to watch the kids open presents. It was always awkward as my mum stays with me over Christmas. My ex's dad also stayed with us in 2015 and 2016. I think he did 2016 with us as he didn't want to let me down and I really appreciated that. He said he is coming this year too.

In 2018, my ex had the kids on Christmas Eve. He said he was going to do Christmas day with them on Christmas Eve and then called me while I was working Christmas Eve to drop the kids home early as he had to go to OW's family and he had to drive.

This year, he's having them Christmas Eve again and will probably drop them home at lunchtime again. I have booked Christmas Eve off work so that I am not dropped with the kids at the last minute.

I am cooking this Christmas and I have my mum, dad, ex's dad, my sisters and niece and nephew coming over - plus 3 dogs. 4 in total with mine! Chaos!

I am looking forward to it as I've made great progress with doing my house up and want to show it off. It will be busy, but if anyone is on their own at Christmas and they're in my area, I'd be happy to take in guests. I've already ordered the XL Turkey! 

I love Christmas (well, more the build up to Christmas) and my ex never enjoyed it, so if there was thing that I can take from all of this, is that I don't have to listen to him whinge about Christmas being commercialised nonsense and skulking off somewhere.

[KeepItTogether]

That first Christmas is the hardest I think b/c most of us are still so shell-shocked. I tried to do everything as it had been done before, except that H was already moved out by Christmas. But he came with us to Christmas Eve Mass and dinner, and then showed up Christmas am for presents. Didn't stay too long. Awkward.

I really like the idea of new traditions though. Nah--the sushi sounds wonderful to me! And going to light shows and other things to get you into the Christmas spirit? I am all for those too. I guess it doesn't matter what we do per se, just that we do it for ourselves and our kids if we have them. And, for me, this really means I take H out of the equation altogether. Years past I pestered him as to when he will spend time with S for the holidays. And always met with resistance and excuses. And that brings me down.  So now I just make as many plans as I want and don't bother thinking about H's schedule. If he wants to spend time with S, and we are free, then fine.  Of course this will be the first year that I don't even broach the "holiday" subject with H.  And actually, So and I are leaving a few days before Christmas this year so it will be the first year H doesn't see S at all on Christmas day. Funny thing is, I am spending Christmas with my sister back east, then heading up north to spend 3 days with my in-laws--BIL and his fam, SIL and her fam and MIL and FIL. LOL. But no H. He doesn't even know we are doing this. So weird this life I am living.