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Author Topic: My Story Lose you to love me

W
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My Story Re: Lose you to love me
#10: December 02, 2019, 10:54:13 PM
I'm totally not being the bigger person but firetruck her feelings.
Dont worry About being the bigger Person, yes, firetruck her Feelings!! b!tc#, trying to Keep your h from the Kids is just sick.

Look after yourself Island  ;)
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Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. Is tolerated by LaFamiglia
2 Sons - 20 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

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Re: Lose you to love me
#11: December 03, 2019, 03:17:57 AM
Why is it when I read these posts about crazy OW messaging on FB, or sending letters to the house...

I always think ''Man I would firetruck with her so much''. Something wrong with me.  :o
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You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

W
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Re: Lose you to love me
#12: December 03, 2019, 04:41:07 AM
Why is it when I read these posts about crazy OW messaging on FB, or sending letters to the house...
I always think ''Man I would firetruck with her so much''. Something wrong with me.  :o
Nothing wrong with you, I would have loved to have had such an opportunity after BD to firetruck OM online but OM has no social media except for giving Google Reviews of motorway Service Station toilets and McDonalds  ;). The toilets smell apparently, world changing Knowledge Right there.
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« Last Edit: December 03, 2019, 05:14:24 AM by UrsaMajor »
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. Is tolerated by LaFamiglia
2 Sons - 20 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

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Re: Lose you to love me
#13: December 03, 2019, 07:45:14 AM
The toilets smell apparently, world changing Knowledge Right there.
HA that actually made me laugh.  ;D
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You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

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Re: Lose you to love me
#14: December 06, 2019, 09:53:37 AM
I saw your thanksgiving pics and they looked ace. Like you all had a fab time. I think we both know I know how it feels to be stalked by Ow. But what’s funny I find, is really, it’s us who should feel threatened by them. I mean after all they have our “man”, the gather of our children, the man we’ve made so many memories with. Yet that’s not how it works. Funny that :)

I think your handling each and every obstacle that H throws your way with dignity and grace. I don’t have much else to offer other than that.

Thank you SachaT! Did you love my Thanksgiving pants? Imagine Joey from friends wearing Phoebe's maternity pants  ;D They weren't maternity pants BTW, but just wonderful stretchy linen pants. *side note- I should have kept my maternity pants for that reason ::)*

I'm totally not being the bigger person but firetruck her feelings.
Dont worry About being the bigger Person, yes, firetruck her Feelings!! b!tc#, trying to Keep your h from the Kids is just sick.

Look after yourself Island  ;)

8) Thanks Whyus, some 8)times it feels like when I say these kinds of things about OW.... IDK that I get the impression from others that I cant' even vent. I do understand there is a difference, some dwell on OW to much. They hyper focus on the OW. For me OW doesn't take up any headspace now days. But when I do happen to have a convo about her or run into her, I can't help but hope she feels insignificant.

Why is it when I read these posts about crazy OW messaging on FB, or sending letters to the house...

I always think ''Man I would firetruck with her so much''. Something wrong with me.  :o

Oh, believe me Morte, I have messed with her. Not directly, but by posting things I know OW would see and so I could get under her skin. The only reason I knew I got to OW was she would say things to H  8) Even when H and OW were no longer talking I knew I got to her from the things she would quote or post.

The toilets smell apparently, world changing Knowledge Right there.
HA that actually made me laugh.  ;D

 ;D ;D ;D
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Me: 35
H: 37
S19; D12; D9; D5
Together 20 years, Married for 3
BD: 4/25/2017 (EA, FA)
BD: 4/10/2018 (EA same OW)
Learning about one another again

s
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Re: Lose you to love me
#15: December 06, 2019, 10:30:14 AM
Tbh I think it depends why you’re “messing” with Ow. Well I’m sure you can work out when I do it and when I don’t. But to me it’s more of a “haha. This would be funny” moment. It doesn’t take up much head space. But sometimes you find quotes which are too perfect Hahahaha! But, I think as long as your not obsessing over these Ow. Fulfilling your spare time stalking them etc. I don’t see it as too bad. As long as we’re all in the knowledge they are insignificant we’re good.
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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Re: Lose you to love me
#16: December 19, 2019, 12:22:31 PM
Instead of posting on all the threads I follow I figured here would be the best place to post this... I read along and follow a lot of threads. I hope whomever is out there and reads this knows that I'm silently here, offering unspoken cybersupport  :)

I don't really have much to post regarding my H so my thread may go silent for a bit. I guess no movement is a good thing at the moment  ??? No drama is a good thing right now. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts ;)
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Me: 35
H: 37
S19; D12; D9; D5
Together 20 years, Married for 3
BD: 4/25/2017 (EA, FA)
BD: 4/10/2018 (EA same OW)
Learning about one another again

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Re: Lose you to love me
#17: February 22, 2020, 07:14:46 PM
Hello HS family. It's been awhile since my last post. It was good to take a bit of a break to focus on myself in a way that is twofold.

Firstly, I have really come into my own. I stopped my own growth. I felt stagnant for the longest time. Maybe I was focusing on MLC too much or H too much. All this in spite of screaming to myself that I was not. Unfortunately, it became apparent that being on this site encouraged my focus to be on those things. And it's not anything that anyone posted. It just felt like this is a site devoted to MLC, it will keep my focus on just that. So I stepped back even more than I have ever done before. I would pop in and read from time to time, just to see that the people I invested so much in were doing ok. Even then it seems those posters are posting less and less. Growth I hope for them too.

Well getting a healthy distance from HS, kind of like how we preach about doing so with our MCLers, has shifted something in me. I applied for a position I would have never dared to before and wouldn’t you know, I got it. This is a wonderful promotion that couldn’t have come at a better time. And surprisingly H has been very encouraging every step of the way, which is nice because prior he has been always very negative about me ‘outgrowing’ him.

Secondly, I found it really did help H and I. I stopped second guessing my actions or interactions with him. I think as much as I wanted to believe that I wasn’t, subconsciously I was. It became a sort of self sabotage in our relationship. Is H back to himself… no. H still needs to work a lot on his own inner issues. Things that he no longer seeks reassurance from me for or any other person for that matter. H said he’s trying to figure it out and recognizes that his reliance on ‘friends’ drives a wedge between us.

Painfully slowly he’s getting to a familiar place where at least I recognize him. He no longer feels like a stranger to me. So these past couple months I would cautiously label this quiet reconnecting. Is our relationship the same...no. I would say less intense. Less passionate. Less everything. Our relationship is not quite as all consuming as I remember it being. (And I’m referring to prior to BD.) Possibly this is a good thing, but something for me to explore further. Maybe it will grow from here. Maybe it will stay at this level. It’s comforting that H is trying and so am I.
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Me: 35
H: 37
S19; D12; D9; D5
Together 20 years, Married for 3
BD: 4/25/2017 (EA, FA)
BD: 4/10/2018 (EA same OW)
Learning about one another again

S
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Re: Lose you to love me
#18: February 23, 2020, 04:37:18 PM
Hi IslandGirl, i’ve followed your recent posts and think you are doing really well. My husband has been home for a year and a half, and I now understand they come home broken and it takes time because we are also so damaged. No guarantees of anything. I admire your approach and agree you have to embrace your instincts because there is no roadmap at this point. Thank you for sharing.
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H
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Re: Lose you to love me
#19: February 24, 2020, 04:11:59 AM
Island
Taking a break from HS is a good thing. Don't get me wrong , I love this site. But like You, I got to a point where my life was going by this site.  No I'm not co-dependent on this site, now it's a happy place to come read.

Island
You keep doing you. The place your at is a peaceful one. Just let H do his thing.  Once we truly let go and go on with life, they will have to deal with their crap or run away again. Either way, it's best for us to live on.
Keep it up Island. More peace to come.
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