Author Topic: My Story BURNING MAN 16  (Read 2586 times)

Online WatcherTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story BURNING MAN 16
« on: November 17, 2019, 04:54:29 AM »
November kicked off month #53 post BD. It also represents 6 months of NC. (My record being 7 months). This is my 5th NC stint of 6 months or longer. This one looks like it's going to be a keeper.  ::)

IDK. I think filing for divorce kind of guaranteed NC this time around. She usually is the one to break it however I just don't see her doing so this time.

November also is month #5 of the divorce process. The only thing that should happen this month is the home appraisal which was re scheduled for Black Friday.  ??? So maybe that will become a December issue.

I have Luke Combs concert this week along with running the Philadelphia Marathon and that should be it for November.

I have been in contact with S16 since October 11th and I have no way to contact S19 at the moment. I see S16 (4-5) times a week as we walk home from his school bus stop. It's about 10 minutes, however the best 10 minutes of my day.  ;D

IDK, the woman left me for another man. It didn't pan out. She chases other men in that 25-35 yr old range. She has done everything humanely possible to make me go away.

Let's see, 8 police trips to our home, 1 attempted restraining order, and 2 court appearances. Now she is angry because I filed after giving her 4 full years to get herself figured out.

I filed for protection not because I fell out of love. However, my feelings for her are non existent at the moment. I love our son's and I consider her dead. Maybe I finished mourning our marriage death. IDK.

I do know that I did everything possible to give her a chance. I prayed she would come to her senses but she didn't. She may very well still get help one day however we will just be divorced.

TBH, I hope she does get help one day for her sake and our son's sake. Obviously I do not hate the woman. There is a good woman buried there in that current pile of manure.

The woman wanted a divorce for the longest time. She certainly stopped acting married. Now she drags her feet because I filed.

"Control's Last Stand" sits right up there with Custer at Little Big Horn and just like Custer it will not be a pretty ending for her.

I have 4 more runs in December and then I am finished.  ;D It just hit me yesterday that I really don't like the cold.  ::) I also still have 2 more concerts in December and then everything should be quiet until March.

Thanks for following along.  ;)

Previous thread:  https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11178.0
« Last Edit: November 17, 2019, 05:18:29 AM by Thunder »

Offline Thunder

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Re: BURNING MAN 16
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2019, 05:20:17 AM »
Following along Watcher.  :)
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline Rosetintedglasses

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Re: BURNING MAN 16
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2019, 10:31:43 AM »
I’m here again Watcher.

I also hate the cold. I love reading about your running and enjoy your ten mins with S16 too so thanks for sharing.

Rose 🌹
Married 15+ years with 2 children
BD1 - 2016
BD2 - 2017
BD3 - Sept 2019
MOW Mar 2016-Jan 2018
OW2 - Feb 2019, age 30
H left home Oct 2017 to stay with his parents
Bought a family Puppy mid 2018 - referred to as ‘P’

Link to advice by my mentor, Phoenix, on what to tell the children about H leaving - reply #33 (it had a glitch)
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9313.30

Offline Finding Joy

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Re: BURNING MAN 16
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2019, 04:40:13 PM »
Following along Watcher!
Married 19 years
Husband is 42
I am 39

BD1-April 2018-Unrecognized by me until way later, he is unhappy, wants counseling.
BD2-October 2018-ILYBNIL, wants a divorce, this after I found out about OW 1(EA), OW2(PA) no longer together.  I believe he is single. 
April 2019 He got an apartment and moved out.
Oct 2019-Apologized for a years worth of monster behavior.  Still wants to start divorce this Spring, is distant, but friendly.  Tries more with kids, but mostly just helps haul them around(superficial).

4 kids 5-14 years

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Offline PJ Will Be OK

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Re: BURNING MAN 16
« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2019, 10:45:31 PM »
Following along Watcher.
"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Together 28 years, married 27
Two adult kids, ours

BD #1: 2016 - EA
BD #2: 2018 - FA
W moved out - June 2019
OM#3 - July 2019
W asks for divorce - August 2019
Divorce final - September 2019
Card-carrying member of the Iffer Party

My thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11093.0;topicseen

Online WatcherTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: BURNING MAN 16
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2019, 05:32:52 AM »
Hi Thunder, Rose, Finding Joy, PJ.

How on earth did Garth Brooks win entertainer of the year the other night ? This is not 1990 folks. Eric Church was robbed. There's a divide. New Country vs 90's Country.

I'm not a big fan of Keith Urban however he has a duet with Eric Church for "We Were". IDK, Eric Church just has a great voice.

Yesterday I spent the day at my Aunts just packing it up. I believe my Aunt passed away in May and I don't think we are making a dent.  My mom inspects everything and it's really time just to throw it out. So I avoided her inspection line and went straight to the garbage.

She knew the exact number of bags I threw out. Hmm, always keeping tabs that one.

I was studying the Philadelphia Marathon route last night. 18 hydration and fuel stops. That's the key right there. I was reading that they also have a recovery tent afterwards.

So far the weather is sunny with 36 degrees and no wind for a 7am start. It will rise to 46 degrees by the end. That is pretty decent weather for running if that can hold up.

So it looks like shorts weather.  ::)

Oh the concert of the year is fast approaching. Luke Combs on Thursday. IDK. Is he going to dethrone Jason Aldean ?

I'm at work.  :-\ I just want to get out of here and hopefully I will be able to see S16 today after school and see how things are with him.

Enjoy your day

Thank you

Offline Thunder

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Re: BURNING MAN 16
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2019, 06:27:20 AM »
Watcher, I thought the same thing!  Garth Brooks??  What a strange person to win.
Although he is touring now so maybe he has new stuff out there.  Still was strange.

Another thing I found strange, why in the heck was Pink singing at a country awards show??
I mean I love her but she sure ain't country.   ::) ::)

Oh and one more thing, was Carrie Underwood on drugs that night?  She was almost manic in her behavior.  So out of character for her.

Well I hope you enjoy the concert.  I never heard Luke Combs before, but he has a very good voice, for country.   ;D ;D

Hope you see your son today!
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Online WatcherTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: BURNING MAN 16
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2019, 12:15:16 PM »
Hi Thunder,

Yes Garth Brooks is very strange. Pink did seem out of place and obviously Carrie could not handle herself without her usual partner Brad Paisley who was pushed aside for Dolly and Reba this year.

Don't worry Thunder, they did advertise that your man Brad is getting his own Christmas special.  ;)

No I did not see S16 today.  :-\ He is attending an after club at school.  IDK Thunder I think I just lose the boys in divorce. I think that's the way it's supposed to work.

They have their own lives and they live with their mom. Unlike the women on this forum, my wife wants me nowhere near our sons. IDK if the court is going to help me with this matter.

I certainly don't want him to think he has to meet me at a bus stop. I have to come to the marital hometown everyday anyway as my 2 gyms are here so stopping by the bus is not a big deal if he doesn't show.

I think I'm going to adopt some other kids.  ::) I have soooooo gotten jipped on being a father. This is exactly why guys don't pursue divorce. This is not going to change.

I guess I will see what happens tomorrow.

OK I will goto Kickboxing and work out my issues.  ::)

Thanks Thunder

Online WatcherTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: BURNING MAN 16
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2019, 04:51:30 PM »
OK Thunder,

Kickboxing saved me.  ::) I will see how this week goes with S16. First of all I realize that he has his own life and I do want him to take advantage of what school has to offer. The school does stay open to 9pm most nights with different activities.

Now a couple of observations. S16 definitely doesn't want to be home. He is always searching for a new activity to replace band.

We will see if this is her control BS. Keep him in school until she can pick him up at 5 or 6pm. Time will tell.

I'm not texting him tomorrow because I don't want him to feel that he is obligated to meet me if he has legitimate things to do after school.

This entire experience is an exercise in stupidity as is divorce. I don't want kids 5 or 10 years down the road. I'm the one who had to give everything up and I'm a bit tired of being on the short end of it going on 5 years pretty soon.

When you live at home you see your kids everyday. You don't have to interact all the time with them however you do see them. I don't have that so this is really stupid.

Due to their ages and her instability I'm basically giving her the boys with the divorce. That's what people always failed to realize but I didn't. I had to live at home if I wanted to see my son's.

Yes its beyond dysfunctional and I had to break it however my relationship hasn't really gotten any better with my son's.

Quite frankly I'm sick and tired of hearing about time. I'm sick of time and waiting for something to change. Yea she gave me a gift alright. Another favorite of mine.

Ok I'll stop my whining.  ::)

Have a good night Thunder

Offline Thunder

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Re: BURNING MAN 16
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2019, 06:02:20 PM »
Aw Watcher, you are not whining, not at all.

All you want is time with your boys.  That is a very normal fatherly request.

Your W is an EXTREME controller. 
I guess the only thing you can do is tell your lawyer you want him to demand NOW you get visitations with them....not months from now, at least with the youngest.  Your L needs to know you want him to fight for your rights.

Let him know what has been going on.  He won't know unless you tell him.

You know your youngest wants to, and enjoys, seeing and being with you but she is preventing this from happening.  Secret 10 minutes a day is not working.
It's not his fault, he is a kid, and he is being controlled my his mom.

Maybe just show him you are fighting for him.  It's possible he is just too young to fight for himself right now.  He may need you to do this.
If he sees you doing it, it may make all he difference in the world.  He is a lot like you, Watcher.

I know this is very hard for you to do this, I understand, but just show you are fighting for him.  You won't be sorry.

At least I hope that will turn this around for him, Watcher.  He needs to lean on your strength.

Stay strong, my friend.   ;D
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

 

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