[Couragedearheart]

Can childish schemas and coping mechanisms be a hidden diagnosis.....no I don’t thinks so.
Because that’s all you are actually seeing.....their protective parts respond with the thought processes of young children and the coping mechanisms through which young children respond to trauma....

You nice fluffy wonderful spouse you used to have MIMICKED your healthier coping mechanism without understanding them.....which is why you thought they changed overnight.....but until the actual beliefs change, until growth happens you can’t really understand or do healthy behaviors.   

But the parts that keep them safe, haven’t grown up or changed or adapted. Now they must. Because you cannot bend the world to fit your beliefs.

It takes a billion little lightbulb moments to get there.

So no.....those are cognitive distortions and bad coping mechanisms but they are common for all children and you can’t learn or discover or grow when you are just trying to survive.