Author Topic: My Story BRAND NEW MAN 2  (Read 3664 times)

Offline WatcherTopic starterTopic starter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4614
  • Gender: Male
My Story Re: BRAND NEW MAN 2
« Reply #20 on: December 27, 2019, 09:58:30 AM »
Today was Kickboxing in the morning. S16 replied to my text to late. He was probably still sleeping and I need to know who is home before I can enter the house so I left to get ready for work. He got back to me 2 hours later.

I let him know that if he needed anything this weekend just reach out to me.

My mom talked to me this morning. She does find it hard to believe that her family never contacted me to let me know the boys were living alone with W. Again I estimate her parents left around Nov 20th.

If the inlaws were coming back then they would never have allowed her to lose the car IMO. So that must have been some falling out.

I think W will be fine without the car and the house eventually. She will just relocate to the town where she works. That is also where she goes to the bars and clubs.

My mom says she will lose her job eventually and sees a very bad future for her. I think she is angry because there is not much one can do about mental health issues.

Again I think W is just done. She made a half hearted attempt for me to save her car and an even less of an attempt to talk me out of the divorce.

I told her I was young enough to start over and she kind of agreed. She just wanted clarification first that I was the one who wanted to start over and not her.

I served her with divorce papers. Who knows,  maybe it smacked her that I was serious or maybe she was finally relieved I gave up. IDK....

All I know is she remains quiet after 3 days of contact. I guess I will see how she behaves in court on the 14th.

My mom worries she will end up in the gutter and will be taken advantage of by the wrong person eventually. She is not asking me to do anything. I think she was just expressing her frustration.

IDK. She was served on July 4th. She answered on Sept 11th and she pro bono represented herself in court on Oct 21st. I did not have to attend. I think she has had plenty of time for it to sink in.

So maybe it will just be anticlimactic at this point and we will get it done. I dont believe she is stalling on purpose. I just believe she is leaving it up to me to get it done.

She wants the greener grass. For whatever reason she ended our marriage in July 2015. She never changed her mind. She stated again last week how she never wanted to be married nor does she still. Well it's been 4.5 years now.

So I am off to work.

Enjoy your day everyone.

Offline Seahorse

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1287
  • Gender: Female
Re: BRAND NEW MAN 2
« Reply #21 on: December 27, 2019, 11:24:16 AM »
Watcher - enjoy your day at work.

Sea
Seahorses have one mate for life...

Offline WatcherTopic starterTopic starter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4614
  • Gender: Male
Re: BRAND NEW MAN 2
« Reply #22 on: December 28, 2019, 05:49:23 AM »
Hi Seahorse.

I wanted to sleep this morning but forced myself to get up. I have run #44 this morning. Its 45 degrees at the beach which is wonderful for late December.  ;D No wind and the sun is out.

This one is only a 5K.  :-\ I still have my ankle in a brace. It's been progressing well at Kickboxing but I really haven't run on it since Dec 8th.

This run will put me at 345.9 miles for 2019 and I guess that's a lot considering I really do not train. I am going to try and train more in 2020 and run less events. I want to get involved with my running club this year.

They have a running College starting in January which is a 14 week program which trains individuals for a half marathon. Now I already know how to run the half however it wouldn't hurt being coached and for the 70 dollars cost it's really not expensive.

The 14 week program leads into their half marathon at the start of April which I already am signed up for and maybe the coaching would help prepare me for my next marathon at the end of April.

I do have on my Brooks Ghost 12's for the first time. So I will break them in. Hot soup awaits the finishers however it's really not hot soup weather today.

Enjoy your day everyone.

Offline stillbaffled

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4546
  • Gender: Female
Re: BRAND NEW MAN 2
« Reply #23 on: December 28, 2019, 06:15:24 AM »
Have a great run, Watcher. 

It's soup weather here - we're expecting 10-12 inches of snow and 40 mph winds.   :(
BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Offline Thunder

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 22530
  • Gender: Female
Re: BRAND NEW MAN 2
« Reply #24 on: December 28, 2019, 06:20:19 AM »
Good luck, Watcher.  Hope your ankle holds up ok.

Sb, we're getting more rain than snow the next few days.  42 degrees tomorrow.  So it should melt any icy roads.  Hunker down.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline WatcherTopic starterTopic starter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4614
  • Gender: Male
Re: BRAND NEW MAN 2
« Reply #25 on: December 28, 2019, 01:20:18 PM »
LOL Stillbaffled. Those are not ideal running conditions. Ok maybe just a 5K but I wouldn't push my luck.

Yes my ankle held up Thunder. Oh my goodness those Brooks Ghost 12's are incredible. Yes I know they are just sneakers however they sold me.  ;D

Yes I was reading an article today about the ice storm in Minneapolis and closures of major roadways. I'm starting to get nervous Thunder with that weather, lol.

It did feel good to run this morning after 20 days off. My ankle was fine and I continue to wear the brace just for added support. I still feel it slightly so maybe I had a sprain however no ill effects while running.

I didn't have my sneaker tightened properly at the gym one day and I turned my ankle. I think that was the culprit.

Today's course was run on the boardwalk which are wood planks. The boardwalk was elevated so I did have a smooth run as compared to one in October where the footing was rough.

I finished 26:28 (8:31). IDK I think my times are better in the Summer. The course was narrow as it had to be shared so that was a negative especially with the frontrunners coming back at you.

I don't believe I've run a 5K since August so it was kind of nice. The finishers soup was actually pretty decent. Unlike that broth which was served at the Philadelphia Marathon. This was actually soup.

So 2019 has concluded and I have a few days off before the 2020 running campaign gets underway.

I started running in 2018 and ran in 32 races including 1 half marathon. In 2019 I ran 44 races including 16 half marathons and 1 marathon.

So I have 2 marathons scheduled for 2020 and will probably hit 12-15 half marathon's. I have 5 scheduled already.

I have 2 races scheduled for January as I begin my requirements to gain entry in the NYC Marathon. I have a 10K on the 4th and a half on the 19th. Nothing on the docket for February just yet.  ::) It does get cold here in February, just sayin.

Enjoy your day ladies
Thank you

Offline Father5

  • Trial Subscriber
  • Full Member
  • *
  • Posts: 189
  • Gender: Male
Re: BRAND NEW MAN 2
« Reply #26 on: December 28, 2019, 02:18:49 PM »
Watcher,

Those that have tried the Brooks Ghost running shoes are missing something. They are something of a divine intervention. They are my favorite. Wow you are a marathon junkie. I have picked up tennis and have really improved over the last year. I also surf and do some yoga !

Have a good one watcher!
Together 12 yrs Married 5
5 kids 3- Step (21) (20) (18) Two together ( 8 ) (9)
BD1 March 2018 - I wish I could give you more of what you need
BD2 Aug 2018 - I want a divorce sent by text ILWYBNILWY

O/M Discovered Nov-18

Offline Thunder

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 22530
  • Gender: Female
Re: BRAND NEW MAN 2
« Reply #27 on: December 29, 2019, 04:14:21 AM »
Wow, great time Watcher!   ;D
Maybe those Brooks Ghost's have wings on them.

Yes we did get ice yesterday morning.  Terrible driving with cars in the ditch all over the place.
But by noon it warmed up enough to melt it all.  Tomorrow is just rain and 43 degrees.  Strange for December.

I think Iowa gets this kind of weather conditions a lot because their temps are usually a little warmer than ours, so what should be snow turns to an icy drizzle.

Don't worry July will be nice.   :)
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline Rosetintedglasses

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1133
  • Gender: Female
Re: BRAND NEW MAN 2
« Reply #28 on: December 29, 2019, 07:40:51 AM »
Watcher

Your brooks ghost 12’s sound interesting!

I also ran a 5K when I think you were doing yours and I thought of you! Tried to keep my mind on nice things, ha ha! The difference is 5K is more than enough for me and probably like a ‘fun run’ to you! I was more than 5 mins slower than you although I did stop to help someone whose hamstring was hurting. Not that I did much to help except chat to him! He carried on and finished ahead of me!

You sound good, well done you!
Rose 🌹
Married 15+ years with 2 children
BD1 - 2016
BD2 - 2017
BD3 - Sept 2019
MOW Mar 2016-Jan 2018
OW2 - Feb 2019, age 30
H left home Oct 2017 to stay with his parents
Bought a family Puppy mid 2018 - referred to as ‘P’

Link to advice by my mentor, Phoenix, on what to tell the children about H leaving - reply #33 (it had a glitch)
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9313.30

Offline WatcherTopic starterTopic starter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4614
  • Gender: Male
Re: BRAND NEW MAN 2
« Reply #29 on: December 29, 2019, 08:32:45 AM »
Hi Father5, Thunder, Rose

Yes that sneaker is amazing and mine are blue which just makes them pop. They do come in a variety of nice colors. I probably laced them up too tightly however I was worried about my ankle. I wore the brace however I just don't want to turn it again.

I woke up with sore thighs and hamstrings so I skipped the gym today. Well thankfully I found running and Kickboxing because IDK what I would have done with all this time on my hands.

Yes I do exert more energy with the 5K because my pace is elevated, eventhough, yesterday was a narrow course which slowed me down. I would have preferred a time of under 25 min but I couldn't pull it off on that course.

I have made friends at Kickboxing who actually text me to arrange workout times, lol. Runners are very fanatical. I don't see myself that way yet. However, I love the race atmosphere and it also allows me to travel at the same time.

This medallion and bib holder that my brother gave me is incredible. I had to order more bib sheets as I have quite a few. I just discovered Amazon.  ;D

So another full year is concluding and it just feels like the end of our marriage has been forever now at 4.5 years. 2015 encompassed only 6 months and I was still distraught throughout 2016.

I probably only regret 2017 as it took me too long to find my interests. I was wandering that year but also maybe I was beginning to heal from her BD blindside and its aftermath. I did discover country music in 2017.

2018 and 2019 were decent years for me so 2020 should be no different.

As for her. I do believe her parents leaving twice now in 2019 is significant. 6 weeks in the Spring and currently another 6 weeks. Maybe she is finally severing that tie and it will be back and forth like it was with me for a bit.

Hopefully for the sake of our sons, she will move to sever her relationships with them next so I can have them.  ;) She moves very slow so maybe it will take her a few years to do so.

It now is the single woman partier versus the mother of 2 children. The family enablers, myself included, are removed for the moment. So we will see which woman wins out as there are still many friend enablers around.

My mom said she doesn't want to see W harm herself as she is spiraling out of control. The lost car and the loss of the inlaws does not sit well with my mom. She fears the loss of employment is next coupled with the loss of the house.

My mom says I'm not going to be able to live with myself if she commits suicide. Hmm, I thought that was a bit much to dump on me. Of course I do not want her to harm herself and I want her to get better.

I'm not divorcing her because I no longer care for her. I told my mom there is nothing I can do. I will let the court handle the situation. If she loses her job then she loses her job. She needs to get help on her own as there is just no talking to her.

I told my mom I enabled her behavior and this is why I am still here 4.5 years later. It has to end now. Ooh I can't believe I am actually finally taking a hard line. LOL.....

I just want her to get help already. Again I have no ill will towards her. I've known her for 31 years now come January. Obviously she has issues that she needs to deal with and I need to protect myself from her abuse and destruction.

S16 and I did exchange 1 text yesterday just to make sure we are both still alive. Today I'm just staying home and watching football.

It is surreal. Here I am running a 10K on the 4th, Court on the 14th and a half marathon on the 19th. It's like my past, present, and future colliding.

It's like the marriage finally should be on it's way to be dissolved and I really dont know how I feel about it. Meanwhile I am running these 2 races in January to gain entry into the 2021 NYC Marathon as part of their 9+1 program. Run 9/volunteer for 1 throughout 2020.

I guess life goes on. So I will enjoy a lazy day today.

Enjoy your day
Thank you

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk
Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.