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Author Topic: My Story Walking into 20/20 with much clearer clington vision

s
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Certainly has a big L on his forehead. The annoying thing is, if he was working. He usually answers right away. So the being busy argument is null and void.

I’m glad I made the decision that D6 could go back to school, she’s been awake ridiculously early so excited to go back in. I was torn because either way, it was unfair on someone. D8 also wanted to go back in but she can’t. So if D6 stayed home would have been unfair on her. If she went in it’s unfair on D8. However, this way we have some form of normality back in our day. And I get more time to do some home schooling with D8. Works well.
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

s
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So this update doesn’t really have much clington involvements. A little but not a lot.

So today D6 went back to school. Honestly, you would have expected her to be going Disney land with her excitement to go back. It was a really hit and miss way to get her in. The school have asked a few times if we would consider it (they asked everyone) etc etc etc. And I always said it would depend on so many situations. How long were the days, (there was talk of it being just 2 hours - which is pointless) was it just one child or all three. How anxious D6 was in herself etc. So I always put her down as “Maybe”. Then on Monday a letter went on the app which said “Welcome back Y1 we can’t wait to see you. Mrs G phoned last week To offer places”. However I never got the call, so I emailed and only on Tuesday did her teacher say “yes sge has a place”. Hence the panic calls to clington. As it was all last minute. There also wasn’t a lot of time to prepare D6. But she went in today and had a fantastic day. She really enjoyed it. Despite all the Covid restrictions. This meant I was able to do things with just D8 and D3. So nice for us all round but also nice to have that sense of normality back in our day.

Now, this is where I want to shake clington with a sh!tty stick! He knew D6 was going in today. He knew she was excited. And as far as I’m aware, D6 hasn’t heard from him. He hasn’t contacted me. D6 does have a phone but she hasn’t said she spoke to her dad so I’ll assume he hasn’t. Which sucks a big ball of a$$ for her.

Now, I hope this next bit makes sense, but lately I’ve really struggled with I guess just who I am. Maybe it’s the lockdown. Maybe it’s just I’ve hit a phase. I don’t know. But for the past few weeks I’ve not really been tanning (unlike me). Some days I’ve not worn makeup. Again unlike me. I’ve spent a lot of time staring at my clothes, and they all bore me. I feel like I always wear the same thing again and again. I was even looking at my hair and wanted a change but I don’t know what. It’s a very stale place I’m at. I also know I eat like sh!t and that probably makes me feel it too. I’ve bought new clothes and I will be buying more. I also did a home workout this evening. I’ve also made a pact to try and only drink at weekends (we will see how that lasts). It feels like I’ve spent the last few weeks as a caterpillar and now I’m in my cocoon ready to emerge as a butterfly. 
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

s
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So, I think it was Friday or Saturday last week when I got a letter from the eye hospital for D6. It basically said that D6 needed to be seen and if she wasn’t seen at her appointment in a few days they would have to phone the safe guarding team. It’s actually annoying due to the fact the original appointment was cancelled due to Covid, not by me. So I phoned clington. No response. Phoned again. No response. Waited a bit. Phoned again. No response. So then he text and said “ What’s up just in a shop trying to order something ? ” so I replied “ Always a excuse. Doesn’t matter. I’ll sort it myself!!”. I won’t lie, I was firetrucking fuming. I don’t call him to ask what he’s watching on Netflix. This was particularly important as it meant I needed someone to have D3 and D8 as they can’t go and I reallt didn’t want the safe guarding team involved. So I spoke to MIL. What annoyed me was, somewhere along the line she spoke to clington. And said “I would have had them but clington said he will”. As luck would have it, D8 then started texting MIL and basically arranged to go. Clington then a few hours later FaceTimed D8. I was cleaning in the kitchen with my headphones on. She shows me her phone and said “Dad wants to speak to you” so I said “oh he knows how a phone works then”. He gave generic excuses and I said “BS clington, every firetrucking time I call you never ever answer. It’s not a one off”. We chatted generally for a little bit and I explained Monday through till Wednesday his mum was having them. I wasn’t sure on the time so he said he would find out and get back to me. Guess what never happened. So I contacted MIL myself.

It’s Wednesday now, which is when D6 appointment was. The original plan was MiL has the kids Monday till Wednesday. Clington comes and gets D3 and D8. I take D6 to the appointment. He came got the girls. And said “let me know when your on your way back and I will come and see D6” so I said “well I’ll phone you and let you know what they say anyway” to which he replied “just tell me when I get back” Me and D6 went to the appointment. All is well. As promised I text clington when we were on our way home. We then discussed the app and what was said. He was due to collect the girls on Saturday morning likw usual but as he can’t take D8 to school on Friday as he’s working has said when he finishes work on Friday he will get the girls for the weekend then. So I’ve joked that this is my dad week.

He then gets on his car and D8 jumped in. He said “let’s get some tunes on” he then plays James Arthur - impossible which is my ultimate fave. And then said “oooh no. This is what we need” and puts on Machine Gun Kelly - I think I’m okay. As it starts he looks at me and sings “Watch me take a good thing and f**k it all up in one night”. So I laughed and said “you did” and he said “oh I thought you’d say you were the best thing to happen to me”.

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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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Hello,

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they would have to phone the safe guarding team.

I am ignorant, who are they?

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So I phoned clington. No response. Phoned again. No response. Waited a bit. Phoned again. No response.

Besides losing all rational thought processes, MLCers also learn how to ignore/miss important phone calls. I could call my ex three times in a row knowing she was home to let her know something in regards to our children and get the voicemail. Then a few hours later get a call back, "I'm sorry, I just noticed your missed call."

Really. Once our girls were in a play and the oldest had one line. It was at the beginning of the play and my ex was late every time and missed it. I even called her to remind her of the start time and would escort her to her seat. Voicemail. And somehow this was all my fault.

(((Hugs)))

Ready

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"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

s
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The safe guarding team is basically, like linked to social services and it’s sort of like they would investigate why she didn’t attend the appointment when it’s so important type thing.

What baffles me, is last Wednesday. D6 was back in school since they shut schools. Did he phone? No. Thursday he phones and asks how she is (he phones at 12pm knowing she’s in school) and then stays on the phone for a good half hour talking between me and D8. But then, when something actually really important happens and I phone. Nope. Nowhere to be seen.

Even today at the appointment with D6 they were asking does she patch every day and I had to say, well every day with me but I don’t know when she’s at her dads.
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

K
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It is as if we are dealing with a totally different person. I just took S13 to his annual Dr appt. I mentioned it to H and he just said, "OK." No questions. No interest. They just don't really care anymore unless it is something of an emergency. And even then it is 50/50.

I think the key for us is to lose ALL expectations in terms of their parenting. They just are not reliable and that doesn't work when you have 3 little ones to look after. You are doing an amazing job by the way!
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Me 49
H 47
S13
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

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  • Mlc- Cake eater for 3 yr now vanisher
Hi sachet, our mlcer really are either uninterested or don’t want to put up with ow moaning as it’s easier. Had local support team when kian was poorly, they saw I was a good parent and ex h didn’t even engage with them.

Kit is right, expectations zero, that way no disappointment. Ex h has now stopped seeing kids every other Sunday as interferes in ow weekend. It’s now an hour once a fortnight one eve. I stopped asking ex h for help quite early as I found even if he agreed, he would either forget or have other urgent plans suddenly.

You are doing fab. Xx
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Me 52
H53
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

s
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It really is baffling.

So this weekend was my kid free weekend. Clington sent me a text around 4:30-5ish and said “leaving work now”. I replied saying “amazing”. About 10 minutes after that he phoned me. I was doing my makeup and so I had him on loud speaker. During this call, he talked about anything and everything. When the chat naturally went dead, he started a new one. Even mentioned “oh well in a year or two I was looking to move nearer your way, to X area but it’s expensive” seemed odd him offering up this type of info as usually it’s all hush hush with him. Then I turned and could see his car pulling in on the drive so I said “you’ve just pulled in the drive. It’s pointless call” and hung up. He then took the kids and I went out.

It appears that this was my wild GAL weekend. 😂. Earlier in the week my friend invited me out on Saturday. Then when I was picking up D6 from school one of the mums asked if I wanted to go to the pub. So I did end up going. I planned to only have a few drinks but if ended up much later than I expected.

Then on Saturday morning I FaceTimed D8, she was upstairs and said “I’ll go and get D6 and D3”. D3 was watching cartoons and didn’t want to leave. D6 came upstairs closely followed by clington. He did a weird thing where he was watching the screen but didn’t really say anything. Then half an hour later he FaceTimed me again. Only for 5 minutes to show me D6 makeshift eye patch as I forgot to give him patches for her. I then got ready and went to my friends. I assume ow is out of whatever we as clington didn’t shy away from communication and if she was around he would.

When I was at my friends D6 started texting me. She usually isn’t bothered by her phone but she was asking where I was. Even what I was wearing. So I’m not sure if it was D6.  On Friday clington asked if he could bring the kids back 4ish as he was going his brothers so ok the way back would be easier to bring them home than go to his house and then mine later. So I said it was fine. Then he text me today (Sunday) to ask if it was still okay. I said it was. Low and behold, Clingtons far is parked slightly away from my house. Not on the drive like normal. As soon as he was gone D8 said “he’s parked up there Cos Ow is in the car”.

It does baffle me how when Ow isn’t about. Clington is happy smiley chat chat will go above and beyond etc. When she is around. Wow.
  • Logged
Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

 

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