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Author Topic: My Story Thread 36 - The answer is 42

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My Story Re: Thread 36 - The answer is 42
#20: January 25, 2020, 06:08:48 AM
UM - Thank you for replying to my thread about dating...

As always, wonderful thoughts and definitely something to think about for awhile.

Like you, I have decided to let God guide me on this topic.
I didn't listen to Him in the past, and instead forced my way into what I wanted, so now I'm waiting...
Waiting patiently and confidently.
I know that the best possible relationship that I could have will depend on His guidance and His will.
I think that a dating app can be a way to meet a man, but (for me), I believe that God will put the right person in place for you wherever you are, whatever you're doing;
I know some would say that God wants us to use the technology at our fingertips, but it just didn't feel right.
It felt like I was trying to rush things along, even though I think I'd really like someone to spend time with right now.
My feeling about that may change with time and prayer..IDK.

Anyway - so glad that you had a (mostly) terrific time skiing - it sounds like quite a lovely time.
Except for broken arm - no fun, but so glad that S was well-cared for.
It sounds like it was handled well by you, R, and the clinic as well. - YAY!

And yes, - I am the crazy old cat (and bird) lady!

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Re: Thread 36 - The answer is 42
#21: January 27, 2020, 04:55:48 PM
Along for the ride, UM. Late for the party as usual.
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"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Together 28 years, married 27
Two adult kids, ours

BD #1: 2016 - EA
BD #2: 2018 - FA
W moved out - June 2019
OM#3 - July 2019
W asks for divorce - August 2019
Divorce final - September 2019
Card-carrying member of the Iffer Party

My thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11537.new#new

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Re: Thread 36 - The answer is 42
#22: January 28, 2020, 05:28:34 AM
Following along UM. I feel absolutely no sympathy for your xW. She got what she asked for and now she's jealous of people who have what he tossed??  :o 

I hope your S is on the mend and happy to hear that things are going well in your new life. You deserve to be happy and have someone who cares about you.
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M - 43 (40 @BD1)
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No kids
BD1 - 26th Aug 2017 (Not happy, life has no purpose, "we have problems")
BD2 - 22nd March 2018 (Marriage is over, we want different things, confessed EA with someone 12,000 kms away although "she means nothing")
H moved in with parents 11th May 2018 (I asked him to leave as couldn't handle the EA rubbed all over my face)
H moved abroad 29th Dec 2018, not sure if OW will join him or if they are still in contact.
Confirmation H and OW are together, presume PA  - 3rd June 2019
H gets engaged with OW (we are not divorced) - Oct 2019
H "finally" asks for divorce - Aug 2020

"One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change"

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Re: Thread 36 - The answer is 42
#23: January 28, 2020, 06:36:08 AM
Following along UM. I feel absolutely no sympathy for your xW. She got what she asked for and now she's jealous of people who have what he tossed??  :o 

I hope your S is on the mend and happy to hear that things are going well in your new life. You deserve to be happy and have someone who cares about you.

S's arm seems to be healing well. He'll have a bit of a knob where the bone pieces are coming together since they are not 100% aligned but it is not an issue according to the doctor. There is about a 7 mm offset but at that age, the offset is nothing and better than having a metal plate put in and then having to have it taken out later.

I was at the doc yesterday to get a "suspicious" large freckle taken out so I have 7 stitches in my shoulder...  :(

R has early shift this week and I have S Sun-Tuesday night and then both on Thursday so we haven't seen each other since Sunday   :'(

A bit of a journalling....

xW has bought an apartment after she had yet another issue with her almost former Landlord (the guy is a walking Richard Cranium) and she backed into someone the other day so her car needs to be fixed. She was all in a tizzy about how she was going to get her car repaired and still be able to get around.. I just said that maybe her insurance would give her a rental and left it at that... Her problem to figure out, not mine.

xW and I had D9's "Report Card Discussion" with her teacher and she has A's and B's except for ... German where she has a C... She has the same grammatical, spelling, and writing errors that S12 did/does. Nothing that can't be managed if they were to concentrate a bit...  ::) But, well... kids....

D9 had a lovely Birthday party a week ago Sunday. I baked a cake again and made a new kind of frosting with Mascapone in it. It was GREAT.. Very kind of fluffy and not quite a sweet as the typical Butter Cream. D9 thought is was wonderful... that is what matters. D9 invited R to the party as well and xW was seemingly OK with it... so there were 2 1/2 adults and 11 kids there... xW was even late getting there with D9 and S12 <facepalm>  so it was a good thing that R and I were there on time... I, however, forgot the plates and napkins that I bought :-[ but I had the cake and drinks and all of D's presents from R, her kids, and I (books and "Slime"- what is it with kids that they love that stuff?)  and I thought I had put the plates in the bag.. Oh well... We had extra napkins so the kids had enough cake to give them a sugar rush for hours <snort>.

S12 keeps raving about R's homemade potato soup to the point where xW asked R how she made it and then didn't bother to really listen to the answer (surprise). The result was, according to S12, pretty awful because xW, for some unknown reason, substituted Chicken Bouillon for braised onions ??? To say S12 was quite perplexed would be an understatement... When S12 was telling us, we just looked at each other and shrugged....

The more time that passes, the wider the gulf between xW and I gets. Like others have said, I look at her and have a hard time recalling any kind of emotion, positive or negative... the person in front of me is no one I know anymore and really isn't someone I'd care to know intimately. The "Dumsel in Distress" act has played out and no longer has any appeal for me to ride in to the rescue.. Hey, it only took me 56 years and 2 trips around the MLC Mulberry Bush to figure that one out...
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Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
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Re: Thread 36 - The answer is 42
#24: January 28, 2020, 07:04:07 AM
Those Mulberry bushes do take a long time to get around, don't they?   ;)

I love the.."Maybe the insurance co. will give you a rental."  Boom!

5 gold stars for that one, UM. 
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Re: Thread 36 - The answer is 42
#25: January 28, 2020, 07:11:33 AM
Those Mulberry bushes do take a long time to get around, don't they?   ;)

I love the.."Maybe the insurance co. will give you a rental."  Boom!

5 gold stars for that one, UM.

Her insurance is going to go through the roof. She averages a claim about every 2-3 years (MLC drivers anyone?) ... I was glad when I was able to get my own car insurance (initially I was on hers as the car was hers but that was years ago) and since then, my insurance while going up like everyone else's, didn't go up as fast because I was getting pushed every year to a lower risk category.

When I got rear-ended, the other guys insurance paid for a rental for me for 10 days. What a joke! My car - OK, xW's old car - I bought her a new one -was totalled so it took a while longer to replace it...
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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
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Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Re: Thread 36 - The answer is 42
#26: January 28, 2020, 08:21:44 AM
UM that is so funny.

My H got his first, any only, speeding ticket about 2 weeks after BD.

He got angry at a driver who was turning too slowly in front of him so he whipped around him..crazy fast. 
Cop sitting right there and nailed him.

 ::)
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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Re: Thread 36 - The answer is 42
#27: January 28, 2020, 10:29:54 AM
LB's car looks like it weekends in the demolition derby.

My S had a knob too for awhile but as he grew it disappeared.   

The soup.  :o
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“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

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Re: Thread 36 - The answer is 42
#28: January 28, 2020, 11:13:56 AM
It gets better than soup and I am seriously annoyed with myself....

xW is moving and has lots of stuff in her current rented flat that is/has been broken (sort of like her car - someone else's stuff or things that are usable is not important). So, she was telling me about her broken sink (the drain is opened and closed by a knob that one turns to raise or lower the strainer in the sink.

Anyway, she asked about it and I looked at it and it was clear what was wrong... Well, she asked if I could fix it because she had to take D9 to her violin lesson and stupid me said "yes." Took me 15 minutes to fix something that was obviously simply forced too hard.... Meanwhile, I'm thinking the whole time "Hey chickie, you FIRED me from this job. WTF am I doing this for?"

And I was doing well with the rental car thing....
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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Re: Thread 36 - The answer is 42
#29: January 28, 2020, 11:29:49 AM
You are just a nice guy UM and she knew you would fix it.  Just try to think you did it for the kids.

However, I do need to take 2 of your stars away.   ;D :o

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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

 

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