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Author Topic: My Story My Loving Wife Turned Against Me One Day 7

cld

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My Story My Loving Wife Turned Against Me One Day 7
OP: February 12, 2020, 10:59:36 AM
I am waiting for the trial court to sign an order so that I can forward it to my attorney on the Court of Appeals.
The trial court is a disaster, totally biased against fathers, the judge is a feminist although he is a man himself.
Feminism has been destroying the family unit and unless we go back to the patriarchy I don't see things getting better. If nothing changes the West will be replaced by patriarchical societies. 
I have a lot of hope on my Attorney on the Court Of Appeals, she has done more than 500 cases in the past 7 years and she does only Appellate work.
I think that trial courts have become more and more evil because most fathers are not able to fight on the Court of Appeals because it's extremely expensive, I am going to spend at least $12,500. Trial courts take advantage of fathers, taking away children from them, making them pay a lot in child support and driving them to desperation. It's a very evil system that has been getting worse and worse in the past years, it's all very well documented in the documentary on YouTube "The Red Pill". Men unfortunately don't stick together like women do, a lot of them have become feminists themselves and only contribute to their own destruction.
I hope to be able to improve my situation with the children, at this point I don't care about women anymore, I went MGTOW, I don't want to see them, don't want to interact with them, they have become a huge liability that I don't need. I will get old and die alone and that's perfectly fine.
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« Last Edit: February 12, 2020, 07:16:36 PM by readytofixmyselffirst »
State: Michigan
Me 42
Her 47
Son 7
Daughter 10
Marriage 8 years
She filed for divorce out of the blue  and walked away 1/11/2016
Divorce was finalized 9/20/2016 after daughter turned 7.
She had a troubled childhood, mother divorced father out of the blue when she was 7.
She was sexually assaulted when she was 4 and 19.
She said in court that I was controlling and abusive.
She has anxiety and schizophrenia.
She was my best friend and now she lost her mind.
She has legal and physical custody of both children.
I am going to the Court of Appeals to get more time with the children after a setup.
She is bringing a man around the children.
I am single.

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Re: My Loving Wife Turned Against Me One Day 7
#1: February 13, 2020, 01:07:23 AM
cld,

I've read some more of your posts (not all yet, just going backwards in time)....... I see a lot of anger (and hurt)..... this "red pill" and MGTOW thing is really, really bad. I watched some videos on YouTube about it (to see what it is). Understand this isn't to outright slam this line of thought, but to examine it for what it truly is: What it is.... is ugly. I really hope you don't buy into this MGTOW/Red pill stuff because it is something created by bitter, insecure, spiteful, wounded men who are scared to death of connection and vulnerability. Their hearts are hard.
Is society ill? Absolutely. Do you think removing good men from the dating pool the answer to society? Absolutely not. If anything, the world needs more good men not less. If there is a problem with women, then the Genesis of that problem is a generational issue with men (I'll explain). I know the argument they make in those videos (I've watched them) and their argument is flawed. All women are not bad. There are damaged women and that number is increasing, but there are still far more good women then "bad".

The real question is "what man do you want to be?". You can't control other people, just yourself. Good attracts good, bad attracts bad. Simple as that. I don't know what your W was before, but if she had or is having an MLC.... then she's not the person you knew right? SO what if she had never had MLC? Would you still be happy and life is good? MLC is not a normal process. So if an abnormal event which caused you huge pain caused you to rethink all that you think.... how can that be right if the beginning of this thought is from an abnormal event? You were in love. You cared for someone immensely. You had children with this person. Then you were stabbed in the back yes? That's a jolt to anyone. Now think about these MGTOW men. Same thing with different events. Hurt, pain, betrayal, something. It causes them to "dummy up", hands up.... not to protect their face like a boxer, but to cover their heart so as not to feel. After all, who wants to feel that again?
You're a man, I'm a man..... what is the mark of a man? To take a beating and KEEP GOING. There's no shame is admitting you were hurt and hurt bad. Growth comes from that. Toughness, maturity, wisdom, kindness, forgiveness, mercy...... all good things..... if you let them bloom: A man with a beautiful heart, tempered by experience. The best kind of man. A sound man. What do all these MTGOW men have in common? Bitterness. Hateful. Superiority. Pride...... all of which are masquerading as assertiveness.... it's not. It's weak. It's limiting. It stifles growth, and shuns it. It is the opposite of love. What are we (as men) commended to do? To love. Who are we commanded to love? Women. If you are religious or not (I don't know) it doesn't matter. It is the nature of man to love a woman. Simple truth. Fighting it will only cause you grief. Indulgence of self is a hollow joy.

Now, the sad truth: Let's say that there is some validity in the "Red pill" viewpoint that women have changed and aren't "worth it" anymore. First we have to ask "how did we get here?"... And if we are honest, we need to look in the mirror and the past. If you believe that men are the protectors of women, and that we are to love them (support them, lead them, etc)..... then the problem lies in the past, because this didn't happen overnight. The men of the boomers, the silents and the greatest failed in their job of being men. The truth is, too many good men were wiped out during the great wars and the ones that were left were too few, too damaged, or were in such demand that they just couldn't keep up (or perhaps, even care). They say all the heroes were left of the battlefield, and to a great extent they were right. So what does that have to do with us? Well, in the absence of good men it requires great men to take up the slack and rebuild our ranks. New good men are not going to be created out of thin air: New good men require old good men to teach them how to be men. Women can't do it. That's where the break began. What is MGTOW about? Removing men. When you remove men, you create new and big problems in men AND women. MGTOW isn't about saving you, it's selfish. It's about destroying you and those which follow. It's about further damaging women and ensuring that what is broken, stays broken and gets worse.

If you are a good man, the worst thing you can do is go MTGOW.
It'd be great if all the bad men would go MTGOW because then the world would be a better place, as they have no good place in it.
As for women, there is nothing more beautiful than a happy woman with a content life. A woman who loves/respects you makes just about anything magical. We were designed and built to function as a pair, and splitting that pair does NOT produce two fully functional units. We were NOT designed to be alone. Some times it is necessary, but it is not the intended way. If it was we'd all have lady parts and man parts.


It's very obvious that you're hurt, and you're angry. That's understandable. This isn't to throw a tomato at you. This is concern.
Have you looked at yourself to find what man you are, and what man you want to be? What is the best version of you? What do you admire and wish you could be? I really doubt it's being a hermit, a bachelor, or some recluse. If it is any of those (or something similar), then something is seriously wrong. Just like the MLC'er, there is work to do..... and it's there inside. The best version of you will attract a women of similar quality (if you have totally written off your W forever).

It is the real man which perseveres. The real man which loves. The real man who is a beacon of strength, virtue, honor, caring, compassion, stability, wisdom, and righteousness.
You have the potential to be far more than you ever dreamed. The answer is there.
DO IT!!!

-SS     
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W - 38
M - 42
Together 24 years, M 21
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019

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Re: My Loving Wife Turned Against Me One Day 7
#2: February 13, 2020, 01:44:47 AM
I don't know you or your w or the history of your marriage.
I'm not even sure why you post on an MLC forum like this that espouses an attitude of love, compassion and acceptance.
You have the right of course to live your life as you choose.

But as Standing said, it is obvious that you are hurt and angry and frustrated.
And the individual is not the universal; it is ignoring reality to say so.
What about all the remarkable women here dealing with angry MLC husbands who are abusing their wives and children? Tbh neither the 'patriarchy' or the legal system has served many of them very well has it? Yet these women keep digging deep to find strength and compassion for the men in their lives....fathers, husbands and sons.

Many of us here have dealt with people overtaken by anger.
Angry people hurt themselves and they hurt others. Why would you want to be a man like that?
Most of all, if not for you, for your daughter who you love.
In a patriarchal society, your daughter would gamble her wellbeing on picking the right kind of man who would respect and love her in good times and bad. Many of us here thought we had...and then our lives were devastated by good men and fathers who became self-centred angry monsters.

The tone of your posts started to change significantly in 2017....do you know why?
And flicking over your history, I see that you did not have shared custody after the divorce - again, do you know why?
And that your w/xw has had restraining orders more than once I think....with hindsight again, do you know why and if there is anything you could have done differently to avoid that? (No judgement, don't know the facts and there are quite a few LBS here who have experienced this, sometimes fairly sometimes not....but your anger now raises the question about whether you were an angry man before this)

One of the greatest blessings of my life was that I had a great father who loved me. In many ways, his values were quite traditional....about what it meant to be a man and a husband and a father. He was far from being a feminist lol. But he took responsibility for his choices, believed that compassion comes from strength and he did not waste his energy shouting at the universe in an angry rant. He brought me up to see myself as a person first, no less or more bc I was female, and with the same values. I hope that you are successful in achieving more contact with your children but you will serve them better if you find a way to let your anger and devaluing of women heal. Anger and hate are terrible poisons for a good life.

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« Last Edit: February 13, 2020, 02:19:51 AM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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Re: My Loving Wife Turned Against Me One Day 7
#3: February 13, 2020, 05:05:14 AM
I'm going to agree with standing that there is some truth to the red pill thing. However, it only applies to some women. And much of this culture of blaming men, only occurs online.

When you look at what your spouse and many of our spouses on here have done, mine included, it's easy to want to pin everything on something. I spent a lot of time reading self help stuff for me and most of it like fashion and fitness magazines for women.. it's all aimed at making you feel bad about yourself and then believing the only way out is to think, do and say what they people are telling you to do. It's all very cult-ish.

The way out, my friend, is to change and grow. Not drop out and buy into some hokey blame game. You really need to think about why you picked your wife, why you ignored the red flags you did. Spend time thinking about the kind of person you would like to be with and where maybe you can find them. Short of that, think about where you can find better friends, people to elevate yourself with. Learn more about you and the way you perceive people and why you made the choices that you did in the past.

In the last year or so, I've been hearing a voice over and over in my head. Every time I stumble, it's there.. it says to me "validation needs to come from within". The reason why we make bad choices, is because we want something from them and other people that we don't have in ourselves. Having a few drinks to feel good and have fun? Why can't you or why aren't you feeling that way without the drinks?

If you can't feel good, walking down the street without someone or something there to help make you feel that way, you really need to think about why. It requires diving into one's self and figuring out all of that childhood trauma. Once you get it sorted out you can begin to validate yourself on your own. Once you can do that, it becomes obvious that the red pill thing is a blame game. Yes some women are like that, but plenty aren't. When you realize that it's you who isn't around them and not the other way around, you'll begin to figure it out.

All you can control is yourself. You don't need boogeymen. You're better than that man, I believe it.
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cld

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Re: My Loving Wife Turned Against Me One Day 7
#4: February 13, 2020, 12:10:09 PM
Today I received a call from the place where I exchange the children and they said that visitation is cancelled "because schools are closed due to bad weather" and that there is not going to be make-up parenting time.
I am complaining about it with my lawyer and with the Friend of the Court.
Tho those that tell me that I am angry my question is: Why aren't you?
There is a consistent effort to get rid of fathers, making them look like deadbeats when in reality there is only so much they can do against the system.
Women can buy sperm at a sperm bank, they don't need men. Men and fathers in particular have been replaced by the government that is extorting money from them and/or giving money to the mothers via welfare.
I am all for reconciliation but how do you reconcile with a system that promotes division?
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State: Michigan
Me 42
Her 47
Son 7
Daughter 10
Marriage 8 years
She filed for divorce out of the blue  and walked away 1/11/2016
Divorce was finalized 9/20/2016 after daughter turned 7.
She had a troubled childhood, mother divorced father out of the blue when she was 7.
She was sexually assaulted when she was 4 and 19.
She said in court that I was controlling and abusive.
She has anxiety and schizophrenia.
She was my best friend and now she lost her mind.
She has legal and physical custody of both children.
I am going to the Court of Appeals to get more time with the children after a setup.
She is bringing a man around the children.
I am single.

cld

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Re: My Loving Wife Turned Against Me One Day 7
#5: February 17, 2020, 04:41:04 PM
I am trying to stay calm. In case you haven't read my previous posts the judge gave me supervised visitation with both children for one hour a week for absolutely no reason. I am taking the matter to the higher court, the court of Appeals and it's costing me $12,500. I explained my situation to the lawyer, the best in my state, and I have given her tons of evidence supporting my case.
The judge in the trial court has totally lost his mind and he is supposed to reach mandatory retirement this year I believe.
Evil always appear the same way, whenever people think that they are not accountable for their actions and that they won't be punished, they do horrible things and that's why I am taking the matter to the court of Appeals. Now I understand why they call it custody battle, because like in all battles you can get wounded and even die. This should not be the case tho. Parents and more importantly children shouldn't have to go through this. I think divorce should be illegal until the children reach age 18 and co-parenting counseling should be mandatory. That of course would bankrupt the divorce lawyer industry so they are not going to pass it until the government falls apart someday.
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State: Michigan
Me 42
Her 47
Son 7
Daughter 10
Marriage 8 years
She filed for divorce out of the blue  and walked away 1/11/2016
Divorce was finalized 9/20/2016 after daughter turned 7.
She had a troubled childhood, mother divorced father out of the blue when she was 7.
She was sexually assaulted when she was 4 and 19.
She said in court that I was controlling and abusive.
She has anxiety and schizophrenia.
She was my best friend and now she lost her mind.
She has legal and physical custody of both children.
I am going to the Court of Appeals to get more time with the children after a setup.
She is bringing a man around the children.
I am single.

cld

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Re: My Loving Wife Turned Against Me One Day 7
#6: February 19, 2020, 11:09:50 AM
THE REAL DIVORCE RATE IS 93%
I was always skeptical of the 50% divorce rate so I did some research and found out that the real divorce rate is much much higher.
I looked at the percentage of couples that were still married after 50 years, so basically people that got married in 1970 and after, people that are at least 68 years old and found out that only 7% of them stays married until death.
I don't care about the statistics after a year, or after 5 years or after 20 years. I wanted to know how many couples stay married until death and the number 7% came up.
People should wake up to the reality that 93% of marriages don't work out for one reason or another and that getting married is very dangerous, especially for men.
I think that divorce should be illegal if there are children or at least until the children are 18 years old.
What do you think?
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State: Michigan
Me 42
Her 47
Son 7
Daughter 10
Marriage 8 years
She filed for divorce out of the blue  and walked away 1/11/2016
Divorce was finalized 9/20/2016 after daughter turned 7.
She had a troubled childhood, mother divorced father out of the blue when she was 7.
She was sexually assaulted when she was 4 and 19.
She said in court that I was controlling and abusive.
She has anxiety and schizophrenia.
She was my best friend and now she lost her mind.
She has legal and physical custody of both children.
I am going to the Court of Appeals to get more time with the children after a setup.
She is bringing a man around the children.
I am single.

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Re: My Loving Wife Turned Against Me One Day 7
#7: February 19, 2020, 12:10:39 PM
Hey CLD,

Sorry I haven't written to you earlier.

I'm not sure.... when I was a kid there were (seemingly) tons of "golden anniversaries" at my church. So many I thought it was just normal.
Is that a generational thing? I hope not.
I know in my family M until death is completely normal. I've only had one aunt get D'ed and that was because the H was physically abusive. She re-M'ed a fantastic man and have been together for 35 years and still going VERY strong. I was very blessed by having both sides of my family be very strong when it came to commitment. Good men, good women. My W's family was the complete opposite: a train-yard full of train-wrecks. Shocking. Never imagined there was so much drama that I never new about before getting M'ed (not that it would have mattered to me  ;D )

So to me, divorce is still a very odd concept even though you see all kinds of people out in the "real world" get D'ed all the time. Pretty much everyone I went to school with all have at least one D (sad).
Someone the other day was saying that 93% of everyone M'ed between 97-07 have D'ed. I don't know if that is true, but the number stood out to me when you said 93%. Also unknown if true but someone was telling me that 92% of current D's are filed by women. I'd like to check those stats but not sure where to get the data.

You know what I'd really like to know? Divorce rates by county nationwide. Is there a larger confluence in the big cities?

-SS
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W - 38
M - 42
Together 24 years, M 21
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019

cld

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My Loving Wife Turned Against Me One Day 7
#8: March 05, 2020, 12:33:07 PM
My lawyer wrote a brief to the Court of Appeals asking to dismiss the order and to remand again to the trial court.
Hopefully the 3 judges on the Court of Appeals will do that or even better will just go back to standard parenting time or something in my favor.
It cost me $12,500 in legal fees on the Court of Appeals and I hope that it was well invested money.
The mother of my children continuously alleges abuse and comes to court all the time with an army of paid against me biased experts and oftentimes the judge is biased against fathers as well.
It's like living in hell where there is no good anymore.
Having said that I have been visioning good outcomes in my mind, I have been trying to stay positive and vision myself getting sole legal and physical custody of both children.  If I had that I would stop giving Amphetamines to my daughter and both children would be a lot healthier and happier.
Unfortunately right now my daughter is having a lot of side effects from Amphetamines like scratching her face until it bleeds, pulling her hair, becoming irritable, having problems sleeping at night, having tics, losing weight, having headaches and I am visioning that I will be able to change that soon.
I am also visioning the mother of my children coming back to her senses and moving back to the house where she was living, my neighbor's house so that the children can go freely from my house to her house. I try to vision this positive outcome every day.
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State: Michigan
Me 42
Her 47
Son 7
Daughter 10
Marriage 8 years
She filed for divorce out of the blue  and walked away 1/11/2016
Divorce was finalized 9/20/2016 after daughter turned 7.
She had a troubled childhood, mother divorced father out of the blue when she was 7.
She was sexually assaulted when she was 4 and 19.
She said in court that I was controlling and abusive.
She has anxiety and schizophrenia.
She was my best friend and now she lost her mind.
She has legal and physical custody of both children.
I am going to the Court of Appeals to get more time with the children after a setup.
She is bringing a man around the children.
I am single.

cld

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My Loving Wife Turned Against Me One Day 7
#9: March 07, 2020, 09:11:32 AM
This is the strategy that I am using right now in order to attract the midlife crising spouse, please let me know what you think about it.
1. Assume that you are still married/in a relationship, pretend that nothing changed.
2. Visualize every evening that your spouse is coming back, that she/he stops the legal fight and the parental alienation.
3. Don't meet people from the opposite gender, don't have sex, don't date, just as if you were still married/in a relationship with your spouse.
4. Don't put another women/man in front of the children.
5. Don't get pregnant/impregnate someone else.
6. Assume that reconciliation already happened, pretend that you have already received it.
  • Logged
State: Michigan
Me 42
Her 47
Son 7
Daughter 10
Marriage 8 years
She filed for divorce out of the blue  and walked away 1/11/2016
Divorce was finalized 9/20/2016 after daughter turned 7.
She had a troubled childhood, mother divorced father out of the blue when she was 7.
She was sexually assaulted when she was 4 and 19.
She said in court that I was controlling and abusive.
She has anxiety and schizophrenia.
She was my best friend and now she lost her mind.
She has legal and physical custody of both children.
I am going to the Court of Appeals to get more time with the children after a setup.
She is bringing a man around the children.
I am single.

 

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