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Author Topic: My Story Keep Your Head Up

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My Story Keep Your Head Up
#110: July 05, 2020, 07:02:55 PM
What a sad thing to realize that while you were the pig pen of mlc your children have grown up without you. I can’t imagine.

I can't either KIT.  I guess that's what sets us apart from MLCr's
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M-42
H-44
S-20 (mine)
D-18 (ours)
S-15 (ours)
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17 (told me 4 days before)
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
New GF 2/29/20 (Told me 4/22/20)
Marrying her 4/24/20 (Told me 4/22/20)

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11404.0

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

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Keep Your Head Up
#111: July 05, 2020, 07:12:49 PM
I had the best weekend with D18.  And we didn't even do anything fun really.  S15 went to 4th of July with MLCer at 10:30 in the morning and got back about the same time or maybe a little later that night.  D opted not to go, even though I told her I had no idea what I was doing for the 4th and that if she wanted to go she didn't have to stay with me.  We discussed things and finally decided to drive down and see the fireworks over the lake in a neighboring town.  There was a fireworks ban here due to the intense fire danger and all the big displays got cancelled due to Covid although I did hear the Country Club setting off theirs on Friday and had I known, we might have gone to perch up on the hill and watch those.  Well, S15 and I, D had to work until late Friday night.

Anyhow, D got it in her head that she and I should spend the 4th of July cleaning and organizing the storage shed that is on the side of our back patio.  She has ordered a new bed and wants to store her old daybed to use possibly as a guest bed wherever she ends up moving.  When I moved in, I had about 4 totes of stuff from our office that needed to be gone through, but couldn't really ever muster up the energy to do that.  It was an accumulation of all the kids childhood papers I had saved, pictures, miscellaneous paperwork, etc.  So we cleaned and organized and made a donation pile and then drug each of those totes inside to sit and sort one at a time.  D started going through her K and 1st grade writing samples and drawings, I didn't save every piece, but I tried to save a few good ones.  D thought she was the funniest little girl ever and started laughing hysterically reading her writings and looking at her pictures.  I have to say, watching her go through it and discuss it and laugh was so amusing and we both ended up in hysterics with tears streaming down our faces.  More than once we laughed until we couldn't breathe.  It turned into an entire day of bonding over memories and laughing until our sides hurt.  We looked at the time and realized that we had been at it all day.  But we got a fair amount accomplished and she's a good sidekick to have when she is actually ready to do a project.  If either of us had been doing it alone, we probably would not have pushed through and gotten it done.

And what a great way to kick off her graduation week.  She will walk in her ceremony on Friday, as long as covid cases in the County don't hit the point of us losing our graduation variation.  I do not know what time I have left with this girl before she moves out, now that she's an adult.  I will soak up these moments every chance I get.
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M-42
H-44
S-20 (mine)
D-18 (ours)
S-15 (ours)
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17 (told me 4 days before)
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
New GF 2/29/20 (Told me 4/22/20)
Marrying her 4/24/20 (Told me 4/22/20)

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11404.0

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

C
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Re: Keep Your Head Up
#112: July 05, 2020, 07:41:00 PM
Sounds perfect Faith, happy times and memories, you are blessed :)
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Me 46
H 50
3 young adult kids
BD December 2013, left home August 2014, D June 2018
OW 17 years younger

K
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Keep Your Head Up
#113: July 06, 2020, 12:09:55 PM
Oh Faith I love this so much! What a wonderful memory you two made, while going through memories.
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Me 49
H 47
S13
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

s
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Keep Your Head Up
#114: July 07, 2020, 05:53:34 AM
I sure hope you get that graduation ceremony in, FW.   

I still have totes of my sons' things in storage and they're 30 years old now!  Bless your daughter for getting the job done! 
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BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

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Keep Your Head Up
#115: August 01, 2020, 10:25:28 PM
July totally got away from me!  Happy August!  With working two positions at work now, I am incredibly busy.  July went fast!

We did get to have a graduation and it went well.  MLCer as usual was pretty disappointing.  Thankfully the boys got the other tickets and I made sure that they sat between us, but MLCer was basically on his stupid phone the whole time.  Even my S15 and S20 were better examples than him.  One of the teachers gave such a great speech too.  I doubt he was paying attention as focused on his phone as he was.  Disgusted.

The 5 of us went to breakfast afterwards and he wasn't even engaged with the kids there either.  His loss.

I threw a party for D the next day.  It was a bit odd not having any of the ex in-laws there this time, but it made for a nice and peaceful day with no stress.

Since my few days off for D's graduation, like I said, I have been working non-stop and exhausted when I get home.  Our school district plans to open for face-to-face learning on August 17th.  Graduation didn't see anyone get Covid, but there has been an uptick in cases in July and we had our first outbreak, in a nursing home, with our first death reported, also from that nursing home.  People here are definitely divided about going back to face-to-face learning and of course being on phones for the school district I get to hear it all, while also working my butt off in HR.

I have made it out for some paddle boarding and got some pool time in with my friend at her grandson's birthday party.  I hung out with my BFF's kids and dogs while she and her H went to a different state to sell his car.

And last weekend I had a lovely brunch and had a friend text while I was there asking if I would go hiking with her.  We made plans to go hiking and I promised to take her paddle boarding as she had never gone before.  Unfortunately, because it was so stinking hot out I wore shorts and ended up slipping, even in my good hiking shoes and sliding down an embankment about 9 feet.  It was excruciating.  Just imagine sliding down dirt and rock for 9 feet with nothing between your booty and the dirt and rock.  Only me.  Good gracious.  It was miserable.  Thankfully I have a pretty high pain tolerance.  And thankfully my friend stopped me when she did and I didn't fall worse and break anything.  The worst was hiking back to the car and then driving to her house so that she could doctor me, and then of course there is no way to put a bandaid on an injury like that.  But, I had promised her a paddle boarding lesson, so we still went paddle boarding.  We had a good time and she loved it, until the end as the wind came up out of nowhere and blew us across the lake.  We got in a good shoulder workout making our way back across the lake to the parking lot where my car was.  We ended the day with a glass of wine and some good food at a great local bar in her town. 

I took it easy on Sunday and used a lot of neosporin with lidocaine.  By Monday I was pretty stiff and sore, but thankfully besides the high pain tolerance I heal quickly as well.  And it was hard to tell if I was sore from the hike, the fall, or the paddle boarding.  Tuesday through now has been fine, other than some itchiness from the scabbing and healing that I had to avoid itching, because, you know, that's not really a place you want to be caught itching!  Lol  I was even ready to take on a hike again today but it didn't work out.

I've been dog sitting for my brother since yesterday while he has been camping and there was some drama with my nephew.  He's making some really dumb decisions that involve a married woman about 5 years older than him with a 2 year old kid.  He's 19.  My S20 and my nephew got out of their lease in a bad part of town and have been staying with my brother while they find a new place.  S20 didn't want to just jump in on a 2 bedroom apartment and his F is actually helping him buy a house.  But nephew is in a hurry because he wants to have a relationship with this girl and my brother completely forbid her to come to their house.  Of course he doesn't condone the relationship and although my nephew is considered an adult, my brother told him that as long as he was staying in his house that he would have to follow the rules.  Nephew didn't like that so he got a hotel that you pay by the week and had paid through last night.  On top of this I guess this girl has alcohol problems and is supposed to go to rehab. 

Anyway, I drive over to watch the dogs while S20 is at work, and nephew was outside in the street hugging on this girl.  He doesn't say a word to me and they just get in the car, so I grab my things and go in the house.  They sit out there for a good while and then they unload the kid and a dog and go hang out in the back yard.  Totally weird.  Nephew comes in the house and lets the 2 dogs I was dog sitting out still never saying a word to me.  S20 comes back as he was leaving for work and forgot something and I ask him if nephew is supposed to have her there.  S20 wasn't sure and we both thought maybe my brother just told nephew that she wasn't allowed to live there with them or whatever.  He finally comes in the house and talks to me and acts like there is nothing wrong.  Tells me that he doesn't have to work and that I don't have to stay.  Then they leave and go to dinner.  I finally get ahold of my brother, who's service is spotty and find out that no he isn't supposed to have here there at all.  He comes back and leaves them all in the car and comes in the house.  I tell him he needs to call his Dad.  He ignores me and goes back out and gets girl and dog and brings them into the house.  So I text him from the living room as to not cause a scene in front of the girl and tell him that his Dad said no visitors, male or female, that hadn't been cleared by his Dad.  He tells them they have to leave and the toddler starts crying, saying he doesn't want to leave, which of course breaks my heart.  This poor kid.  He's the innocent one in all of this.  Nephew goes out the door muttering just loud enough so that I hear how he's going to be homeless and this and that trying to make me feel bad.  So they leave but then about 20 minutes later come back and try and park beyond the hedge where they think I can't see them and just sit out there.  And then finally leave for good.  So bizarre.

I just sat there and cried for a while.  I love my nephew and I'm heart broken over his choices.  To knowingly sleep with a married woman who is cheating on her husband.  And then I got angry with him for putting me in such an uncomfortable position.  He had no business bringing her to the house when he knew how his Dad felt.  And he definitely was ashamed of her by the way that he skulked about and never introduced her to me or anything.  They both skulked about.  And I have 0 respect for her.  First, for the first part where she cheats on her husband with a 19 year old kid.  And then to come into a house where you know you weren't supposed to be.  And S20 is stuck in the middle.  He has shared a home with nephew for the last 2 years almost.  They are close cousins, 8 months apart and good friends.  He doesn't like the choices his cousin is making either, but of course feels like he can't tell him what to do.  He's hoping the relationship will just die out.  He sees it ending badly but he's taking a sideline stance.  Unfortunately, I'm worried of course for him as he doesn't seem concerned that both of them might end up moving in with him in his new home.  Ugh, it's just a mess.

I went back over there tonight a little apprehensive as to what I would find, but S20 was the only one there and left for work shortly after.  He said that the girl ended up checking herself into the local mental health institution for suicidal ideation.  Nephew and S20 were at work all night so I had a peaceful evening with the dogs.  I left a little before either boy got off work after the dogs put themselves to bed.  My brother and SIL will be back tomorrow afternoon with my younger nephew 16.

Tomorrow both boys should be there with the dogs until my brother gets back so I am just going to stay here and focus on my house and laundry before another crazy week at work.  I like how fast the day goes now, but I dread going into work a bit more than I did before this position change.



  • Logged
M-42
H-44
S-20 (mine)
D-18 (ours)
S-15 (ours)
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17 (told me 4 days before)
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
New GF 2/29/20 (Told me 4/22/20)
Marrying her 4/24/20 (Told me 4/22/20)

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11404.0

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

s
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  • Posts: 4655
  • Gender: Female
Keep Your Head Up
#116: August 03, 2020, 07:39:37 AM
FW - well, I'm glad you got D graduated and a successful celebration was held.  No surprise that MLCer couldn't be engaged and supportive.  Another loss for him. 

The situation with your nephew sounds very unpleasant.  Sorry that you had to get in the middle of that.  The young woman sounds like she is in need of much help.  Hopefully, she will receive some. 

Pretty serious fall on those rocks - lucky that you didn't break something.  Good to hear that you're already feeling fit and ready to hike again! 

I feel for you having to answer phones in the district office of a school system.  It's chaos here as well, trying to put a plan in place.  Administration has their work cut out for them.  There's no good answer and no matter what plan goes into place there are going to be unhappy and often, surly, people to deal with.  Your school starts early.  We don't start until the day after Labor Day.  I still don't know what our plan is going to be. 

Good to have an update from you. 
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BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

 

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