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Author Topic: Discussion How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?

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Discussion How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
OP: March 18, 2020, 10:17:46 AM
Occurred to me that, in a way, a lot of what is going on and how folks behave is a kind of big science experiment. And that this might be as true in the land of MLC......so perhaps worth sharing any (new lol) strange behaviour by MLCers?

I genuinely have no idea how folks in this kind of crisis might behave, given the standard MLC playbook.
More touch and go pop ups bc they get a guilt blip?
More controlling bc they feel more anxious?
More angry bc their Replay fun spots get shutdown?
More sadz bc they feel a bit isolated from their old support system?
Even, gosh, a bit of honest remorse or concern bc their empathy chip gets a kick?

Genuinely don't know. Don't expect to hear from my remarried vanisher lol.
But it makes sense to me that, just as the rest of us are coming under pressure and having to change our own behaviours, it might change some MLC behaviours too. Either in good or not so good ways, I guess. But I thought it might be interesting for our own 'scientific' record to have a place to log any unusual behaviour changes that seem to be provoked by what is going on around us all.
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#1: March 18, 2020, 10:29:21 AM
I can only speak about mine.... but she is terrified, and is moving closer for safety.
Don't know if that will happen to many of them..... I suspect they will grab on to whatever is close and work on surviving.

I would be curious to see what the difference is between "live-ins" and those that can gone.
Somewhere I had read that the MLC'er in a life or death situation will completely snap out of MLC while they are threatened. Completely and total pause on MLC.... and then go back into it once the threat has passed (survival trumps MLC). Can't say if it's true, but I think some here may get a glimpse over the next couple weeks.

The reaction to the virus is all perception, and MLC'ers magnify perception.

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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#2: March 18, 2020, 10:37:52 AM
Hi, hope everyone is staying as healthy as possible. Mine came over last night out of nowhere and dropped off tons of groceries and snacks for the kids. I was completely caught off guard, there was no prior discussion and just text me he would be over in about 10 minutes. It was a pleasant interaction, he hung out for about an hour just laughing and joking with us. He said he would be back Friday with more stuff.
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Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#3: March 18, 2020, 11:16:57 AM
Mine actually asked my daughter if she was ok. He hasn't cared to even ask how school is going in the last 4 years.  Who know maybe it will effect some of them.
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#4: March 18, 2020, 11:41:51 AM
It's possible this might make some of them "get it", or think about it in the very least.   Hard to say how they would be . Maybe more panicked because they feel even less in control? Glued to the TV?

SS that's true, its all about perception being magnified.
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#5: March 18, 2020, 11:50:18 AM
Mine pulling my teen into his new teen tribe as to take the attention off of his messes.  Ultimately, these teens will turn on each other with their sense of entitlement.  Meanwhile, back at the barn yard... I'm deconning like Barbie... Catching up on nesting and reading.  I too was of the early group who couldn't read because of the trauma.  Now maybe some fun shows.  Stores are crazy and bare.  I started preparing 2 weeks ago.  Today, I helped a neighbor barter chicken for toilet paper for another one who didn't know her.  It's nice seeing the good side of people.  Stay safe!! God Bless!! GGG
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« Last Edit: March 18, 2020, 11:51:56 AM by Ggg4life »

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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#6: March 18, 2020, 01:35:18 PM
Mine's not giving much weight to it... Even with flu like symptoms she's going to work, visiting her parents etc. She also tried to get kids meet their friends, go to social gathering etc. Also has made "jokes" how this could be nature's way to solve overpopulation problem... So all in all not putting much consideration to others (I've been on high risk group for 10+ years, and though she has always been somewhat inconsiderate towards outside risks, she has gone worse). Sigh.   

Also, our oldest girl, and all her friends, are down with some sort of flue.  She's just said "it's not covid, carry on as usual."... I've had to put effort to make G19 see why it matters that she isolates....

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« Last Edit: March 18, 2020, 01:40:36 PM by AlvinTheMaker »
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#7: March 18, 2020, 02:03:50 PM
Great question.
I’ve been wondering as well.
Quite sure his usual distractions, such as work, party’s and social drinking are gone now.
Will this have an effect?

Haven’t noticed anything so far.
He was initiating touch and go’s lately, but stopped for now. After we ran into each other (had been 1,5 years since seen irl).

If living with ow, pressure on the relationship or closer together.
If not living with the ow, also pressure or more desire?
Living alone? Lonely?
Living with friend? Fun, drinking and distraction or frustrations to blame?

No way of knowing, all guesses for me.
But it sure did cross my mind.

Here we have very strict new rules, it has an impact on every persons life. I’m sure it must have one on the MLC’ers as well.
How is anyones guess.

Take care of yourselves and those around you in these special times.
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#8: March 18, 2020, 04:45:07 PM
Mine pulling my teen into his new teen tribe as to take the attention off of his messes.  Ultimately, these teens will turn on each other with their sense of entitlement.  Meanwhile, back at the barn yard... I'm deconning like Barbie... Catching up on nesting and reading.  I too was of the early group who couldn't read because of the trauma.  Now maybe some fun shows.  Stores are crazy and bare.  I started preparing 2 weeks ago.  Today, I helped a neighbor barter chicken for toilet paper for another one who didn't know her.  It's nice seeing the good side of people.  Stay safe!! God Bless!! GGG

FWIW-All in the mind of teen age thinking..either side.  Since Friday DD has asked to stop by twice.  Each time looking more tired than the last.  Just today asking if she could get clean clothes, though she can wash anywhere.  I said " Sure as long as I'm here.  You're welcome to take the foods that you previously bought and I'll give you any opened foods that I don't eat."   :). I tried to give her a few extra offerings, but told her in these times its costing a lot to maintain, I'm not a grocery store.  She understands.  Momma gives her a hug, reminds her she can always come home, but no lockdown here with boyfriend.  She's never liked staying at her dads.  I'm seeing this in the teen realm as the lovely touch and go behavior.  Time will tell. She left loving, not sassy.  Hang in there everyone!!
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« Last Edit: March 18, 2020, 04:46:26 PM by Ggg4life »

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Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#9: March 18, 2020, 04:50:37 PM
Interesting question, mine has popped up recently but I’m not sure if it is the virus or another financial matter that occurred right before. But after a very long silence she is sending me one or two virus related texts a day. But she is also in isolation and maybe bored.
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#10: March 18, 2020, 06:51:40 PM
Mine is in touch almost everyday asking if we are ok. He's working 16 hour days right now as he is one of the guys in charge of making and distributing ventilators to hospitals.
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#11: March 18, 2020, 07:37:37 PM
Mine seems to be more helpful.  He checks in a bit more and seems a bit more like his old self.  We will see if that lasts.  He’s still on the negative side on everything he says about anything. 
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4 kids 5-15 years

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Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#12: March 19, 2020, 03:15:23 AM
My H is fluctuating....

He is in high risk but says he has to work. As self employed, most of that is actually isolatory in that he designs in his own studio rather than builds. And so far, his contact with other people in the business chain, so to speak, is minimal.

He is conscious of the need for caution but said yesterday that he would still go to meetings and if he got it, then so be it.  I remarked that it was ok for him to be ill but it was not ok for him to "knowingly" infect others  if he suspected he was ill.  It would be an irresponsible decision.  He paused, nodded and said " Hmm ok"

Hmmm ok! ::) ::) ::) ::)



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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#13: March 19, 2020, 03:14:43 PM
Mine is freaking out, he had a heart attack 1.5 years ago (at 48!) the boys and I have it and are in quarantine. We were together at a doctors appointment for S15 a week ago Monday so MLCer is freaking out - he spent two days trying to sort the timeline, testing, doctors appointments - not to help us, but because he was so upset he could get it. He has checked in a bunch with the boys and even offered to drop supplies on our doorstep - when I said it%u2019s nice he is checking in to the boys, the both looked at me and said, mom, because it%u2019s all about him. We%u2019re sick and he%u2019s worried about himself. Jaw dropping insight from the boys%u2019 mouths.
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Cycled hard April - Oct 2017, my son figured out affair, I confronted husband, we were going away as a family for the weekend - H monsters hard and files for a D end of Oct, 2017
D final Sept 2018
Many touch and goes
He lives in monster, kids haven’t been with him overnight since Jan 2019
Moved in with MOW, a former friend of mine, May 2019

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Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#14: March 19, 2020, 03:19:06 PM
Sorry you and the boys have it, 3boys, but sounds like you are all pretty good. Nice to know. What country are you in?
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#15: March 19, 2020, 04:04:28 PM
US. Seattle. Ground zero. About 15 miles from the first case in the US, and about 12 miles from the nursing home where more than 20 people have died.
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BD End of April 2017
Moved out - kind of, May 2017
Denied affair
Cycled hard April - Oct 2017, my son figured out affair, I confronted husband, we were going away as a family for the weekend - H monsters hard and files for a D end of Oct, 2017
D final Sept 2018
Many touch and goes
He lives in monster, kids haven’t been with him overnight since Jan 2019
Moved in with MOW, a former friend of mine, May 2019

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Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#16: March 19, 2020, 04:18:47 PM
That must be pretty scary for you all in your area. How are you and the boys right now?
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#17: March 19, 2020, 04:26:09 PM
My oldest son and his fiancé are in quarantine downtown but have no symptoms. S15 had a couple days where he was coughing, mild sore throat but that’s it, S14 is on day three of fevers, and about day five of sore throat, coughing, body aches, headaches, I am on day 9, the headaches are horrific, coughing, body aches, fever, sore throat - so far none of us in respiratory distress. We’ll ride it out. Thanks for asking ❤️
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BD End of April 2017
Moved out - kind of, May 2017
Denied affair
Cycled hard April - Oct 2017, my son figured out affair, I confronted husband, we were going away as a family for the weekend - H monsters hard and files for a D end of Oct, 2017
D final Sept 2018
Many touch and goes
He lives in monster, kids haven’t been with him overnight since Jan 2019
Moved in with MOW, a former friend of mine, May 2019

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#18: March 19, 2020, 04:39:33 PM
Hope you all recover soon .
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#19: March 19, 2020, 07:29:57 PM
3boys - also wishing your family quick and complete recovery.

As far as thread -I have no idea.
(x)H has not reached out at all.
S18 and I had to cancel our trip for spring break to Iceland 2 days before departure.
I spent over 35 hours on hold...

I imagine (x)H is bonding with GF as I heard a rumor that she was a suspect for covid.
Both being healthcare workers, not good...

I would love to hear from him, would love a little compassion towards me and S18.
I've been thinking about him a lot lately, but this pandemic probably won't bring him toward me at the current time.
Sadly...
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Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#20: March 20, 2020, 04:14:01 AM
Oh, Threeboys, that sounds really miserable. I'm so sorry. Glad the boys are not too bad. I hope you start recovering really soon.xxx

Re: MLCer and Coronavirus, my H hasn't been in contact with S the last three days. When he did contact it was not to ask if we were ok but just to make silly jokes.
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#21: March 20, 2020, 10:00:52 AM
Thanks Milly, both my S14 and I woke up feeling it in our chest today, it’s painful and nerve wracking. What we were told is that the most severe cases are ending up in the hospital about three weeks after the onset of symptoms. I am day 10, my son is day 4 - so far, it’s crummy but manageable, today i am feeling a little out of breath, so will watch it carefully. I appreciate the sentiment about the comparison with the flu - it doesn’t feel like the flu to me, it also doesn’t feel like a cold, for us it is an entirely different animal - both my son and I have terrible headaches, my son is describing it both as painful but like his head is in a fog - hard time stringing thoughts together.
The body aches are different too - it is like our back, chest, shoulders and throat are totally locked up, very sore, no aches at all in the lower body. It’s weird. I can’t compare it to anything else I’ve ever had...

Last night MLCer checked in with S15 by text, asked him how he was doing then asked about me and S14. He has yet to ask me directly how I am, but has asked a couple of times through the boys - probably only because I have it...
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BD End of April 2017
Moved out - kind of, May 2017
Denied affair
Cycled hard April - Oct 2017, my son figured out affair, I confronted husband, we were going away as a family for the weekend - H monsters hard and files for a D end of Oct, 2017
D final Sept 2018
Many touch and goes
He lives in monster, kids haven’t been with him overnight since Jan 2019
Moved in with MOW, a former friend of mine, May 2019

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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#22: March 20, 2020, 11:39:47 AM
3 boys -
I am also so sorry that you're feeling unwell.
Please don't wait too long to contact your doctor if your symptoms progress.

I believe that the MLCer cannot give us the impression that they care about us - which makes sense because they really don't, I guess.
I'm sorry for that, but at least he's concerned about your sons.

Do you have someone to watch the kids in the event that you become severely ill?
Try to have everything lined up --  just in case.
The lat thing you need is to scramble while feeling ill.

Hugs and feel better.

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Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#23: March 20, 2020, 01:19:19 PM
Oh, I'm really sorry, 3boys. Are you in contact with your doctor?  Do they give you any advice on how to take care of yourselves? I know here they say it's important to move and sit up, not lie flat.  Seahorse had some really good advice, too.
Please keep us informed. xxxx

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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#24: March 20, 2020, 01:40:49 PM
Hi Milly and Sea, yes, we are in touch with our doctors. There is no treatment so tellers basic instructions are hydrate, rest, acetaminophen for pain but don%u2019t try to bring the fever down under 102. Laying down makes the cough and chest pain worse, so sleeping in a reclining position propped up by many pillows, have had chills, so have been staying wrapped in blankets. Today is the worst day so far. I have my oldest son who could stay home if necessary and also a few siblings in the area, s14 has it too though, and s15 had symptoms for two days so they believe he likely also had it - he probably got it first. 

S14 has slept for about 16 hours starlight, he just got up and is having a bite to eat. We will be fine, I do have help if I need it, I imagine we will turn it around any time now.
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« Last Edit: March 20, 2020, 01:42:12 PM by 3Boys4Me »
BD End of April 2017
Moved out - kind of, May 2017
Denied affair
Cycled hard April - Oct 2017, my son figured out affair, I confronted husband, we were going away as a family for the weekend - H monsters hard and files for a D end of Oct, 2017
D final Sept 2018
Many touch and goes
He lives in monster, kids haven’t been with him overnight since Jan 2019
Moved in with MOW, a former friend of mine, May 2019

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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#25: March 20, 2020, 01:44:04 PM
3Boys - also tylenol is good - no non-steroidals like Advil, Aleve, (ibuprofen or naproxen).

Hugs,
Sea
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#26: March 20, 2020, 02:10:58 PM
My xh and I were in no contact for 2.5 months.

He reached out this week, not because of the virus, but because of the earthquake that happened in my area. I am okay and better than I was a few days ago for sure!  He asked how I was okay and made sure I checked certain things. We texted most of the day. The virus did come up. He seemed pretty paranoid and anxious about it. He lives alone, but the ow seems to still be around. Apparently she's sick all the time and he's avoiding people now. lol.

So far nothing else. Seemed to be a touch and go. Back in the tunnel he goes.
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« Last Edit: March 20, 2020, 02:14:51 PM by jazzy03 »
XH 38
Me 39
T 13 years
M 7 years
BD 1: 7/17
BD 2: 3/19.
Moved out: 4/19
Confirmed ow on social media. They’ve been talking since 1/19 at least. He still keeps her secret. She has posted selfies of them together.
D 11/19

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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#27: March 20, 2020, 04:57:59 PM
I am observing mine with interest.  As we are reconnecting, it is interesting to see how he handles a crisis.  The last crisis (besides his) that we faced was during 911 when the company he worked for collapsed on the same day (Airline).  That went under administration soon after and he was only out of work for 2 weeks.  It didn't settle down for 11 months and during that time he wore a path pacing under our patio while chain smoking and drinking.

This time, he is drinking and I don't think he is smoking. Yesterday was the first time I've heard him pace.  Both H and my daughter are in the airline industry so we're seeing and expecting some heavy changes, we just don't know what yet.  He has been away all week so he hasn't had his family to lean on and he seems to have had more good days than bad.  I have seen some pragmatic, big picture thinking that I have never seen from him before and I have seen him shut down Facebook and his news app so he can control his exposure to negativity.  Overall, he seems to be able to self soothe better.

We have been pretty strapped for cash lately so we don't need this  - who does??  It has prompted me to suggest we have a conversation that I felt we were on the verge of having anyway, about living arrangements.  He said that he'd been thinking the same thing.  So it's likely that he'll probably move back in soon.
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Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#28: March 20, 2020, 05:03:27 PM
Hope, interesting the read the comparison in your H when he faced the 911 crisis and the Coronavirus one. Good for you for prompting the much needed conversation on living arrangements, especially now that money must be looked after and the airlines are really struggling. I like that so much. Maybe there is a point at which these MLCers do need the LBS to take hold of the reins a little.

I hope he does move in and save you all money. I also hope he moves in so you can carry on building together. Take care and keep safe xxx
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#29: March 20, 2020, 05:14:29 PM
3Boys, I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I can imagine that it is nerve-wracking, and I'm sorry to hear that it is so uncomfortable.  You and your boys are in my thoughts and prayers.
Seattle is also my home in the US but I'm living back in my home country, Germany.
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BD 1: August 2014
BD 2: October 2015, H moved abroad
August 2018: Received divorce papers in the mail unexpectedly
May 2019: H gave up his job and moved about 1.5 hours to where D11 and I live
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#30: March 20, 2020, 06:51:13 PM
According to S16, XH is panicking.  He’s concerned about all of his subordinates (about 100 of them spanning the whole East coast.)

He’s having to face the fact that he isn’t so “special” after all.  That at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how much money you earn - it’s whether or not you have toilet paper.

As an aside, the domino effect this is having is quite ugly.  How do couples coexist 24/7 with their relationships intact?
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« Last Edit: March 20, 2020, 07:05:06 PM by megogirl »

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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#31: March 20, 2020, 09:30:11 PM
3boys,
 Please keep us updated. I will be praying for your whole family! This is awful and scary and you know you have us here. Please please take care of yourself!

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Caroline

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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#32: March 21, 2020, 04:44:32 PM
Good point Mego, and that 24/7 lock up with some of these MLCers might not be the safest place to be either.
There are a few of us that are very grateful we are not in that position.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.

M
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#33: March 21, 2020, 10:26:59 PM
My H is in his own apt since dec 2019 and sees OW; but last couple of days has called 2 of my girls and asked how things are going at their jobs and if things are ok. He has been trying to contact me in regards to same stuff; but I’ve decided to go “no contact” for mental sake. Plus he’s already got his info from 2 of his kids. So🤷🏼‍♀️
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K
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#34: March 22, 2020, 02:28:59 AM
Mine still doesnt give a $h!te. 3 out of my 4 kids are back living at home. Lost their job and one back from university. I asked h to help out financially has my groceries and all utilities will double. To make a couple of emails very short he called me a phsycopath.  Nice . He thinks everyone is over reacting. This should put a damper on his life style of partying but he will find a way.
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S
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#35: March 22, 2020, 06:26:13 AM
Keep Believing -
I'm sorry that your H is still in his crisis.
I imagine that most of our MLCers who are in crisis can only behave poorly when adding the covid crisis.
It's probably more than they can handle.
I am sure the partying will be curtailed as there's not other option with everything closed.

Please take care of yourself and try to enjoy time with your kids while they're home.
This will pass, and they'll be on their own again.
Maybe the government can help with aded expenses, if your H won't?
I hope the one out of job filed for unemployment?  That should help a bit?

Stay safe and hugs.
Sea
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Seahorses have one mate for life...

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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#36: March 22, 2020, 08:47:53 AM
I am reaching out to my beloved - he is silent. I sent him a message asking him to check in with me as I am concerned about him.

We are obviously still heavily grieving our son, I know that for me, death would be a gain, knowing that I would see my son so soon :), however, I know that God is in charge and if I am still here, He has a purpose for me. I am not taking unnecessary risks at all.

I am just concerned for him.

He had a cold last week and I see from his small company instagram account that they will only be maintaining his services open (motorcyle mechanics). So, I guess he is still going to work (as I am - I work for a company that provides medical supplies to all hospitals in Brazil, especially masks, respiratory filters and drapes).

May God give us all health and resilience .
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M 58
H 58
S 28
D 25
BD 13 Dec 2010
Divorced 27 Feb 2015 (30 years marriage)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

e
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Re: How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#37: March 22, 2020, 02:28:40 PM
You got to wonder what they are doing, my ex needs to be busy all the time. He asked my daughter to go to his house with him and bake a cake. I didn't know he knew how. We are basically in lock down, nothing is open. OW must be gone as she hasn't been invited to his house in years.
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S
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#38: March 22, 2020, 02:37:43 PM
EM -
Interesting...
Maybe your D will get the scoop...
Anyway, I'm glad she's able to spend time with her dad - if she goes.
MLCers are so confusing!

Sea
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#39: March 22, 2020, 03:00:38 PM
As we continue with quarantine and nudge closer to a stay at home order in WA state, my MLCer is out running to the goricery store for us now - rumor has it that we are going to be locked down for another four weeks, we are in home quarantine anyway due to the virus, but four weeks is a very long time - finally said “yes” to his offer of help (through the boys) and now for the last three days he is asking about me directly rom the kids - I also have in-laws reaching out, a SIL that I love dearly. Stay safe everyone.
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BD End of April 2017
Moved out - kind of, May 2017
Denied affair
Cycled hard April - Oct 2017, my son figured out affair, I confronted husband, we were going away as a family for the weekend - H monsters hard and files for a D end of Oct, 2017
D final Sept 2018
Many touch and goes
He lives in monster, kids haven’t been with him overnight since Jan 2019
Moved in with MOW, a former friend of mine, May 2019

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#40: March 22, 2020, 05:29:19 PM
Heard from xh again. Some back and forth surface level stuff. He seems paranoid about things being sanitary and clean. He was never like this during our marriage. My xmil reached out too this past week. She is overseas on a mission and we had a nice conversation. Found out from her that xh is always checking in with her, which never happened before.she says she cares about me and still considers me family.
Hope everyone is well and staying safe.
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XH 38
Me 39
T 13 years
M 7 years
BD 1: 7/17
BD 2: 3/19.
Moved out: 4/19
Confirmed ow on social media. They’ve been talking since 1/19 at least. He still keeps her secret. She has posted selfies of them together.
D 11/19

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#41: March 22, 2020, 05:47:18 PM
Mine is going nuts..... I came home from walking and she was crying in full meltdown...... convinced Corona was going to get everyone. Started spouting off some nonsense statistic that 80% of people die or something crazy like that.  :o
Ummmm, the mortality rate is less than 1%.

I suspect by the end of this, she'll be a hermit refusing to leave the house.

Now if we could quarantine MLC'ers (and everyone else for that matter) from being on the stinking cell phones passing around lies, propaganda and paranoia..... all would be fine.

-SS
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W - 38
M - 42
Together 24 years, M 21
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019

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#42: March 22, 2020, 05:59:27 PM
Sorry to hear that SS.  She's safe in your home and I am happy that is a blessing for you both.  I'm sure she's terrified, especially in those moments she doesn't have enough emotional steam to get mad to deflect or disappear with various forms of escapism to avoid. 

I'm excited for you as a brother in Christ because you have one of the best witnessing opportunities in slow and steady streams while in lockdown, to eminate God's grace and love to get her through.  When she can know it's ok, and the love is there with it's baby steps with God too to help her through these crisises, she will be relieved that she doesn't need to lean on her own understanding. She just needs to commit to the healthy process of doing anything that is counter to serving the MLC lifestyle.  Something that feels like a 180 and foreign. Easier said than done for sure. It should give her hope that there still is no judgement and it's ok to be scared, and give herself credit on the days she tried.  Even if it was unsuccessful. Scared is ok.  I truly believe you've been sent to help her in baby steps. Take good care of yourself too as they flip on a dime and can make us feel deflated.  God Bless!!  GGG
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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#43: March 26, 2020, 11:55:12 AM
Occurred to me that, in a way, a lot of what is going on and how folks behave is a kind of big science experiment. And that this might be as true in the land of MLC......so perhaps worth sharing any (new lol) strange behaviour by MLCers?

I genuinely have no idea how folks in this kind of crisis might behave, given the standard MLC playbook.
More touch and go pop ups bc they get a guilt blip?
More controlling bc they feel more anxious?
More angry bc their Replay fun spots get shutdown?
More sadz bc they feel a bit isolated from their old support system?
Even, gosh, a bit of honest remorse or concern bc their empathy chip gets a kick?

Genuinely don't know. Don't expect to hear from my remarried vanisher lol.
But it makes sense to me that, just as the rest of us are coming under pressure and having to change our own behaviours, it might change some MLC behaviours too. Either in good or not so good ways, I guess. But I thought it might be interesting for our own 'scientific' record to have a place to log any unusual behaviour changes that seem to be provoked by what is going on around us all.

I wondered about how MLC people would handle covid-19.  So far my ex seems a bit nicer but I don’t make eye contact with him and keep things the same.  He has his gf to coddle him if he’s scared, he doesn’t need to be nice to me now after ditching me the way he did.
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Me - 41
H - 47
S - 7 (on the spectrum)
Married for 8 years, together for 13 years
BD - April 6, 2018, H took off ring and moved out a week and a half after BD.
Divorce final - Aug. 25 2019
OW moved in with XH in Oct 2019

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How MLCers react to Coronavirus.....?
#44: March 26, 2020, 08:52:10 PM
Ok so I spoke too soon.  XH was chattier than usual, not standing in a cornered animal stance like he needed to run fast from me and made a small joke on a text to let me know they were on the parking lot for kiddo dropoff.  We exchanged notes on the virus and agreed on some planning like he doesnt go anywhere except between both our apartments for now.  I asked about the OWs job just to ask about what line of work shes in and he changed the subject looking sheepish.  He wasnt rude or mean, he just looked kinda sheepish.

I dunno, since the virus has been hitting worse, hes been nicer and had a weird hopeful look when he heard me call out to say bye to our son but thought i was talking to him.  Im just thinking with my head on this because my heart still loves him and its confusing.
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Me - 41
H - 47
S - 7 (on the spectrum)
Married for 8 years, together for 13 years
BD - April 6, 2018, H took off ring and moved out a week and a half after BD.
Divorce final - Aug. 25 2019
OW moved in with XH in Oct 2019

S
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#45: March 27, 2020, 05:44:06 AM
Mine reached out on Monday. He assumed I was working from home (rightly so). Asked if he could stop by during my break. We talked for a bit: he is quite nervous as my SD is very immunocompromised, and MIL is in her 90s and recovering from a stroke. He’s worried about things devolving into martial law and said “call me if the $h!t hits the fan.” He has also texted a few memes but no actual physical or verbal contact since Monday. He is very social so I’m thinking he may be struggling now that we are under a shelter at home order for the next month, but who really knows? Not really my problem. He knows how to get a hold of me if he wants to.
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#46: April 02, 2020, 04:56:01 PM
I found out a coworker has covid-19, he’s doing better and in quarantine.  Luckily we’re all ok.  I called my ex to give him a heads up and he didn’t return my call nor was his voicemail on for me to leave a message.  I later told him in person when he picked up kiddo and he didn’t seem phased at all.  Just the black eyed weirdo.  I don’t get how he seems not bothered that me and his son could have been exposed, I know it hit home to me how crazy this virus is.
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« Last Edit: April 02, 2020, 05:44:32 PM by mightymama »
Me - 41
H - 47
S - 7 (on the spectrum)
Married for 8 years, together for 13 years
BD - April 6, 2018, H took off ring and moved out a week and a half after BD.
Divorce final - Aug. 25 2019
OW moved in with XH in Oct 2019

 

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