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Author Topic: My Story Celebrating five years of freedom

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My Story Re: Celebrating five years of freedom
#20: June 10, 2020, 09:05:14 AM
I am rather late but I am attaching x
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Me 52
H53
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

s
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Celebrating five years of freedom
#21: June 11, 2020, 07:47:18 AM

It made me want to lash out at the right person. I’ve never given puffy the proper cussing I feel he’s earned. I wanted so badly to fire off an angry email rant of what a massive POS he is... but I didn’t. What good does it do?? None. It would change nothing and would make me look stupid, again. Nope, I decided it’s not worth it so here I am, venting to the only people that truly get it. Having a vanisher is difficult when it comes to letting go of the anger.


A dear friend of mine calls my MLCer POS#2 if she ever mentions him.  He'd be POS#1 except hers has that label! 

I so totally get it, MsMed.  I also have never had my say, and highly doubt I ever will.  As you've stated, what good would it do? 

Sorry about Vegas.  Sending a virtual hug as you get through the last rounds of treatment.   Keep us posted. 
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BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

M
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Celebrating five years of freedom
#22: June 26, 2020, 05:33:26 AM
I thought bomb drop and d day would be anniversary’s I would learn to just get through.  Now, I have all new dates to celebrate..

Hunny and I will celebrate our second wedding anniversary on the 4th of July... Then, the 10th, it will be one full year since I was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. Seems like it went so fast.. but yet dragged when the chemo would just destroy me!! We are colon cancer free with the exception of the 2 liver mets.. But yesterday we found out my CEA is down to 9. When I started chemo, they were over 40,000! A couple more “spa” days and we will be done!

You’d think a cancer diagnosis would lead to at least an e-mail from the puffer. Nope, not a word!!  I hurt for my son, who is trapped. He gives his dad so many chances, to be a decent human and he fails every time!  I just listen... and only call him a MF’er to myself.  Puffy is the textbook definition of douche bag, tool, a$$ clown, you name it, he’s it!!

I’ve found myself replaying all the hate he spewed at me. Most of the really awful stuff I can’t remember.  One line in particular won’t go away.. “God help the next man that finds you”.... Puffy screamed it at me, five years ago, as he was throwing a fit because I stood up to him and got my own attorney...

I find it interesting that this sticks.., because the “man that found me” is a billizion times better than the one that left!!  I don’t often let what puffy says then, drag me down now. But for some reason, that replays a lot. I know most of the garbage he spewed was all manipulative and gas lighting.. I see it as he was self reflecting out loud, at me!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Then poof, gone! I’m glad he’s gone, I’m glad he left and divorced me. Thank you mr vanisher!! He did me a massive favor and I think when you start to flip your thinking from oh poor me, my poor kids and start realizing you are finally free from all of the drama, that your children will thank you one day for not being a door mat, that there is so much joy and happiness, even in such a horrific life event, you begin to see life in a much different way.

Being a teacher and a coach’s wife, I get to hear all kinds of motivational everything.. But one thing that always stinks out is what is your mindset?? Are you actively choosing to be miserable or are you actively seeking joy??? Misery is easier to find but joy is worth the struggle!! It’s all about choices.. Our MLClers made theirs, now it’s time for you to make yours!!!!!! Make them count, make them kind, but always chose to love others, even if that means walking out of their life. I have zero affection of any kind for puffy, even as the father of my only child. He did a piss poor job at being a dad before, now, it’s just an awkward relationship that my son tries to continue.

I’m so grateful for incredible people like y’all.. you just get it!!!  My sweet hunny, that has really stepped up and in, filling those dad shoes quite well. Oh if I had a time machine... I go back and marry Hunny 20 years ago and have a house full of boys.. But instead, I was given an amazing partner that loves and supports me and my son and a field house of 200 plus boys that all call me mama!!

Chins up, crowns straight, find the happiness I know your broken heart so desperately craves. We all have to be broken at some point, that’s how the light shines through!! Shine your lights!!!!!!

Hugs and kisses!! 💜💜💜💜
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Celebrating five years of freedom
#23: June 26, 2020, 05:51:02 AM
And when Mama ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy! ;)
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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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Re: Celebrating five years of freedom
#24: June 26, 2020, 09:35:17 AM
You are amazing, MM!! Can't wait until those "spa" days are over. God blessed the next man that found you, for sure. Hugs!!
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"Unconditional love is the highest of high standards, and while we are letting go of our need to control the process of anyone else, we are taking within our lives complete accountability for our own experience."

http://seriousvanity.com/how-to-cultivate-unconditional-love-and-change-the-world/

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Celebrating five years of freedom
#25: June 26, 2020, 09:42:41 AM
God did help the next man who found you. He was given YOU!

Thank you for updating and I'm glad you are doing well.
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When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

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Celebrating five years of freedom
#26: June 26, 2020, 10:15:20 AM
Those sound like two anniversaries well worth celebrating, Ms M  :)
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

s
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Celebrating five years of freedom
#27: June 27, 2020, 05:58:20 AM
Nice update, MsMed. 

Hope your summer just keeps improving.  Drop in whenever you can.   It's nice to hear from you.

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BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

M
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Re: Celebrating five years of freedom
#28: June 29, 2020, 04:37:31 AM
So happy for you that you found Hunny and thank you for coming to update so we see that there are good men out there (apart from the male LBS on here, of course!). Wonderful news on your CEA count and wishing you a wonderful wedding anniversary on the 4th!
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

M
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Celebrating five years of freedom
#29: September 16, 2020, 02:34:54 PM
Twas the night before scan results...

Yep, we find out tomorrow what’s there, what’s not and what’s next... it’s been a Xanax day..

School is insane, everything is.. I really think the world has gone mad.. but I get to go, everyday and see my kids. I teach in a shower curtain bubble around my desk, in a mask, as far from my kids as possible.  I can’t help it, I hug my kids. They need it, I need it and damn it, if I get some virus because I loved my kids, I’m going to be pissed..

Vanisher update = zero... Just the way I like it.. S sees him, I don’t ask.. but puffys father, who is the epic, definition of monster MLCer, called s, with his usual promises of everything under the sun.. Vomit!! It’s disgusting how bad people try to buy your affection but puffy senior, never follows through. It’s all bull sh$t and he has never, ever fulfilled any of the extravagant promises he’s made to s. S knows and said it’s strange, he’s just like dad!! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️... My son is slow at certain skills, he’s autistic, and it’s been painful to watch his mind try to sort out the truth from lies... Omg.. Y’all, it’s ridiculous!!! He does the same to puffy, promises of luxury everything and then never ever, does it happen. It’s a sick relationship but it’s what was left after the cat 5 hurricane he caused when he left mil... Same story, but with 1980s hair!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ugh. I’m over it, and S knows it. When I didn’t ask, he looked shocked. I can’t care about someone who wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire... What he doesn’t understand is he’s just a pawn too, in their evil little games.. He’s learning but every time he gets hurt, I just listen and pray.. it’s seriously sucks what these monsters do to their children.. I see it in my classroom, in my little babies eyes.. I know who’s going thru the ringer and who is finally recovering.. A$$holes.. Don’t hurt kids.. and don’t be an a$$hole, life is really that simple!

So, I’m nervous and anxious and everything in between..  Not knowing is absolutely the worst part..

I’ll keep y’all updated!! Thank you, for everything!! Love y’all!! 💜💜💜💜



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