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Author Topic: My Story It’s about what I think of me.

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My Story It’s about what I think of me.
#20: May 26, 2020, 03:38:52 AM
I think we will have to nickname your XH yo-yo because he is literally up and down like one! One minute he’s up and doing things then he’s not. Crazy behaviour
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

K
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It’s about what I think of me.
#21: May 26, 2020, 09:48:57 AM
Yes, he is crazy and, like so many, under total control of OW. Yes, it is a choice. But it is a choice they make when in their crazy frame of mind.

Good luck with the locust. My 2 cats would have fun with that!

I do love hearing about your adventures with your children. You always do so many fun things with them and constantly thinking of ways to improve their lives. That is the essence of being a parent. The work is tiresome yes. But the rewards are immeasurable. 
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Me 49
H 47
S13
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

S
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It’s about what I think of me.
#22: May 29, 2020, 05:16:27 PM
Um - Hilarious that I remember those commercials from childhood!

RP - Catching up on your thread.
It sounds like maybe ow did get hint that H was texting you.
I don't think the expired flea meds would hurt your pets, so no malicious intent there, I don't think.
But why would you not just throw them away?
Perhaps she feels you and your animals are not worth in-date items?

H seems to have a jellyfish spine right now.
Keep growing and enjoying your time with your kids.
That's what they'll remember.
And I think it's awesome that S17 called him out on not talking to you or seeing you.
Out of the mouths of babes (teenager babes)!

Hugs,
Sea
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Seahorses have one mate for life...

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Re: It’s about what I think of me.
#23: June 04, 2020, 05:36:11 AM
I just thought I would do a quick update of my thoughts today.

I am a bit annoyed. Took me 4 days to register the annoyance. Ex h came a bit more regularly after son stated ex h had not visited when he had agreed to attend more. Well that dropped off again. Ex h had said To kids “ I will come thurs as I can spend more time with you” at thurs visit, “ can’t stop long but will come Monday and can spend more hours with you” ex h texts kids on Sunday to say “ I will visit today so as not to interrupt you day tomorrow” interrupt what? Are we doing something that the kids and I don’t know about? I know I can get forgetful but I don’t remember organising anything! Oh what you mean is ow changed her shift so you cant spend more time at mine!! No worries as not me missing out.

Now the bit that’s annoyed me is ex h visited Sunday and I was out the front as I was painting and that was what I had organised so wasn’t changing my plans for him. My car had died the day before. Visit goes like this :
Ex h arrives and asks if he is to now sit on the floor as there is no travel chair put out in readiness for him.  Had a look under my bonnet as my car died yest and son had text and asked what to do without my knowledge. Ex h replied ring breakdown cover. Ex h gave his opinion with s17 under bonnet. Obviously he uses better oils and coolant 🤐🥱 short shorts again with orange, shaven legs and needs to do his fake tan better round base of feet. I said about sitting out back as better for dog and he ignored it, I said I text to say this was an option so the dog was not in the heat but that he hadn’t read it and not replied and he pulled a face and shrugged and then said I will text every couple days if makes you feel better, I replied no it’s ok. Ex h asked about add blue which goes in my car and I said it does emissions and gives you 1500 miles before it cuts you off and he said that’s not enough for you though with a grin. Who knows what that means but then got fed up of me and said do you want to get kids a drink then which was basically piss off. I also said do you want a drink hot or cold. He said hot tea with a bit of cold water. I said I know!! I took it out in a normal cup and he said oh a normal cup, I don’t get my plastic travel cup. I said you can have your plastic travel cup if you want! Told me what to do to paint my cabinet as I was out front painting my cabinet. Asked who putting down carpet tiles down and I said me. I did I may show you when finished and he grunted and shrugged his shoulders so I said ok possibly not and he replied you suggested, I’m not holding you to ransom! I went in.  I went out when he started my car to see why and he said my car needed a hoover! I have two teenagers who like to eat. If you don’t like it don’t get in it! I had to be told re 2 metres by kids so forgot even though am always telling the kids. Really it was still a metre away, to which ex h replied, I share everything and I couplet help it but I said “ I could comment on that but I won’t” his response” best not to” with a grin. He then said he was going but would come tues or weds or both and may have a look at unblocking my kitchen sink as I was currently trying to unblock it. He then left and said as he was getting in his car, I’m now getting into a clean car! I told him to shut his cakehole. 

So what am I annoyed about. Well really the way I was spoken to about the carpet tiles and text, which he still hasn’t read , prob just because he can.

So my questions to myself are:
Why am I bothered how he spoke and just shrug off
Why am I annoyed not read text? Well it’s not that he hasn’t, it’s more the reason he hasn’t.
Why do I now feel the need to say stuff you, bring your own firestrucking chair and hot tea in a travel mug d I won’t bother texting you again.
Why I will be saying, going no where near my sink as I have partially unblocked it myself and as my non working day tomorrow, I will sort it.

To top it off , he didn’t visit tues or weds and no text to say why, just asked son if we were all ok.

Do I have foo issues lol
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Me 52
H53
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

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Re: It’s about what I think of me.
#24: June 04, 2020, 06:00:42 AM
No honey, I just think you engage too much when he comes to visit the kids.
No matter what he says, it's going to irritate you.

Maybe just go somewhere or do something away from him.
Yes I agree, bring your own chair and cup.  You're not his mother, or his wife.  It's not really too much to ask of him.  He's darn lucky you brought him tea.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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Re: It’s about what I think of me.
#25: June 04, 2020, 06:04:23 AM
Do I have foo issues lol

No, you have a MId-Lifer with issues..... LOTS of issues..... a whole huge


And following up on Thunder's comment,
Quote from: Thunder
He's darn lucky you brought him tea.
and didn't pour it in his lap!
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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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It’s about what I think of me.
#26: June 04, 2020, 06:07:50 AM
Well, I'd suggest you were annoyed bc a) he sounds like a large irritating child and b) he is offering opinions for which you didn't ask with a side spin of snottiness and c) he sounds as if he swans in and out but expects a small red carpet...or in his case a special chair and sippy mug ::)
So, someone who is, frankly, rather annoying. I felt irritated just reading it lol. I would have been thinking F off too  :)
Nothing wrong with you, RP.

Does it bother you beyond him just being an annoying knatlike a$$ of a person? Well, only you know that.
My only suggestion is to treat him like a boring, pompous neighbour who stops to tell you how to mow your lawn....go hmmm for a bit then shut the convo down. And personally I wouldn't accept his 'help' with anything or let him cross the threshold.....
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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Re: It’s about what I think of me.
#27: June 04, 2020, 06:45:58 AM
Thanks, for replies, thunder, um and tresur

Thunder, I do normally avoid but decided to not avoid on Sunday as I was already out painting and he changed to that afternoon from the Monday at short notice or he calls me out like the flea treatment. I will have to say sorry can’t at the moment. 

Um always appreciate the gif. Resisted urge to drop in lap.

Treasur, I Just ignored the irritation tbh and I think the annoyance came later when he let my kids down AGAIN! ,that he is not reading or replying is to goad a reaction. Not going to happen to your face My ex h! I mean, why ask the question of who is putting my carpet tiles down or where I got them from and how much were they, oh and that they are a colour he would of chosen! Oh I’m so pleased they are the perfect colour! I think being cooped up with 2 teenagers is making me less tolerant of stupid behaviour.
Ex h will not be crossing the threshold. As a song from one of the musicals my D15 listens too goes “ I’m not the damsel in distress, I’m not your girlfriend or the frightened princess, nope I’m the bad guy” ( well ex wife)🤣🤣
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Me 52
H53
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

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Re: It’s about what I think of me.
#28: June 04, 2020, 06:56:25 AM
Rising, of course you get annoyed when he does show up to see the kids when he says he is.  You're their mother.

Unfortunately the kids are going to need to deal with him not being a good father anymore.  He picks n chooses when he will come.  But they'll get tired of it, and that will be on him to fix.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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It’s about what I think of me.
#29: June 04, 2020, 07:16:50 AM
You get annoyed because your a human
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

 

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