Skip to main content

Author Topic: My Story 4 Years and counting !

e
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 460
  • Gender: Female
My Story 4 Years and counting !
OP: May 18, 2020, 09:04:19 AM
  • Logged

e
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 460
  • Gender: Female
Re: 4 Years and counting !
#1: May 20, 2020, 05:05:59 PM
Ex came for a visit today. Back to no eye contact. He is having a hard time as my daughter will not budge with him. He seems upset but not able to connect with her. It’s sad as he thinks she will snap out of it and want to be around him, every day he is shocked that nothing has changed.
  • Logged

e
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 460
  • Gender: Female
Re: 4 Years and counting !
#2: June 10, 2020, 01:09:23 PM
Journaling

Ex is still with OW. My friend seen them on Facebook. The crazy thing it that the pictures were taken closer to my town this his, places we used to go. He lives 30 minutes away and he comes around here with her.  He canceled his time with my daughter as he is going away with her this weekend. Maybe this is what he wants a life with out me and kids.
I am thinking this is just who he is. After 5 years nothing has changed and I really don't think anything is going to. I do have my own life as I'm not sitting around pining over him. But after 5 years I think I'm am going to start dating and move on from this. He looks so miserbale when he is here, I thought he was miserable with his life but now I'm thinking maybe he is just miserable when he has to come here.
  • Logged

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 10566
  • Gender: Female
4 Years and counting !
#3: June 10, 2020, 01:12:37 PM
More likely, he is just miserable full stop......those darned consequences right?  ::)
  • Logged
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

e
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 460
  • Gender: Female
Re: 4 Years and counting !
#4: June 10, 2020, 02:55:01 PM
hi treasure

Maybe he is miserable, but he makes no effort here. I don't know if he has suffered any consequences, other than my daughter not liking him. I can only hope he has
  • Logged

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 10566
  • Gender: Female
4 Years and counting !
#5: June 10, 2020, 10:03:20 PM
From reading here, I think the amount of miserable is an inside job more than about outside consequences, if that makes sense em. I think they are miserable bc they just are and that is their lens on the world.....if they are not angry or replay happy, they see themselves as miserable misunderstood victims of an unfair world and/or a mean LBS  :)......your xh may just have run out of MLC angry/replay steam right now......as you said earlier 'he is shocked nothing has changed' with your daughter, life has bowled along without him full of burned bridges, he probably like others has no real sense of how long it has been.....so he is (in his head perhaps) stuck with what's he got isn't he? Whether he likes it or not. Which I increasingly think is how the real karma bus shows up for these folks  :) The real consequence is that they get what they wanted and then, with time, realise they are still not happy..... ::)
  • Logged
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1584
  • Gender: Female
  • Mlc- Cake eater for 3 yr now vanisher
Re: 4 Years and counting !
#6: June 18, 2020, 01:36:26 PM
Attaching em xx
  • Logged
Me 52
H53
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

e
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 460
  • Gender: Female
Re: 4 Years and counting !
#7: June 18, 2020, 02:07:05 PM
Journaling

Today is my birthday, it's been almost 5 years since my ex left. He sent me an email saying happy birthday, hope you have a great day. Im shocked. He hasn't said anything nice to me or even acknowledge that I exist, Not even for mothers day. But he told me the year before he left that I'm not his mother so I don't deserve a happy mothers day from him. Maybe this is progress, who knows. On his last visit, he looked horrible. So angry every time he comes here. I couldn't imagine living with someone who is just so mad all the time. 
  • Logged

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 10566
  • Gender: Female
4 Years and counting !
#8: June 18, 2020, 02:20:41 PM
Well, happy birthday, em  :) :) :)

Yup...weird but who knows....and as you say I'm sure your birthday is more peaceful without Mr Angry around  :)
How is your daughter doing!
  • Logged
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

  • *
  • Trial Subscriber
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 191
  • Gender: Female
4 Years and counting !
#9: June 18, 2020, 02:27:50 PM
Happy Birthday, fellow gemini!  8)
  • Logged
Me (W) 43 - W 41
BD - Jan 17, 2020


OW status unknown, don't care, not relevant.

 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.