[Milly]

I think Kit said it precisely: 'Sometimes I feel like these guys really held us back bc we were busy taking care of them for so long.' I think this is spot on!

Em, congratulations on your new job and better money and buying the house off your H. You are doing so well, this is fantastic for all of us.

I understand what you mean about not trusting your two Ds yet. So hard for us to trust anyone any more, even our children, especially when they turned on us. I never thought I'd not have my oldest D in my life. In fact, to a certain extent I shut her out of my mind because it hurts too much to think about, which is probably what she is doing, too.

[em5731]

Hi Kit

Thank you, I had a rough day yesterday, I needed to hear that. At least i know it wasn't me. He knows I would never put up with that crap. I had no motivation to better my life before. I was to busy taking care of him and his issues that my life was put on hold and living in his shadow. Looking back, I stayed home with my youngest and helped him with the business. He acted like he was doing me the favor,  Even though we discussed it before we had her.  I guess the grass insnt greener !

[em5731]

Hi Milly

I also do not trust anyone, not even my kids. My ex worked all the time. Many times in life I felt like a single parent. But my daughters followed the money. And I still believe would betray me in a heart beat for the right price. Even my 12 year old I don't trust. it stinks as sometimes I think I sound parniod. I am sorry about your daughter, hopefully things improve in the future. I cant even remember when we were all together as a family. I think you have to block it out of your mind to survive

[em5731]

My daughter has been spending time with ex h. He told her about the ow. Interesting  that he said to her that she is only temporary. They have been together for at least 5 years. And he calls her temporary. I’m glad he does not feel the need to have my daughter around her. I think the more he is with my daughter. The less interest he has in ow. He even sent me money for Christmas.

[readytofixmyselffirst]

Hello,

I am so happy that you got a better job and buying your house. It's nice to own your place. Your home, your rules....baby!!!

Interesting  that he said to her that she is only temporary.

He's probably telling the truth. Ran an ad in Craigslist- "I am a pathetic excuse of a man looking for a relationship with an equally pathetic woman. This is just temporary position. If interested please call......"

I also do not trust anyone, not even my kids.

I do hope you reach a place where not only can you trust someone, you can trust them with abundance. With that said, after the ultimate betrayal by a spouse who you blindly trusted, I can see how hard it to trust again. You have to protect that broken heart.

My oldest D is not talking to me.

Sorry to hear, but in reality, next to Mother/daughter relationships- MLC is a piece of cake.

((((Ready))))

[em5731]

Update 

Its been almost 6 years since Xhole left. He is back to monstering now. He told my daughter I was an angry person with issues.  So crazy as that describes him. I thought we were passed that. He has been really trying to get my daughter around OW. Just found out he is buying his parents house down the street from me .So he and ow will now live close. He is more of a hermit now. He sees my daughter once a week. My older kids don't really see him either. He does spend between $300-500 on the one day he takes her out. She now has no value of money.
I am happy with my new life, I have no complaints. I really have not started dating, I think I am ready for it, just a little nervous. My daughter is no longer mad at her dad, she thinks he is great now.

After 6 years, not much has changed. Its is hard to believe I was standing and waiting for him. I have grown as that is not an option. When I think about how much crap he has done to me, I don't even like to see his face, never mind standing, I did read somewhere on this website that I would feel indifferent at some point. I am glad my heart does not belong to him anymore

[rosetintedglasses]

Em it's lovely to hear your update and that you are happy with no complaints.  Sorry your XH is monstering, you do wonder why the OW would want to be involved with that.

Good your daughter thinks her Dad is great now, and also not great that she thinks that with him acting like this.

Glad you are ready to date, we deserve some emotionally mature attention.

Sending love
Rose 🌹

[em5731]

Hi Rose

Yes we do deserve a better life and a better guy. I am looking forward to dating, but I am nervous about what out there. but I am also very picky this time. I have realized if I don't find anyone I am ok on my own.

[em5731]

I got glimpse of exh life. My kids started talking about him. They say he really is loser. They don’t really ever speak of him to me. From what they say. He posts pictures all over fb about how happy he is with ow. But he treats her horribly. He cheats on her. And let’s her know he is keeping his options open. He talks down to her in front of people. Tells people she is temporary. But still goes through the motions of building a life with her. Just in case he doesn’t find anyone better. He also says people his own age are just to old for him.  They have been together for 6 years. So for any of you newbies that think you might be missing something. Your not. She must be pretty damaged to build a life with someone that treats her so bad. Not that I feel bad for her as she did start a relationship with a Married guy. This is not the guy I knew. He tells people he is in a funk and doesn’t know how to get out of it. They might just deserve each other. As I have no interest in someone like that.

[UrsaMajor]

An affair is NOT looking for someone better than the LBS, it is looking for someone worse than the MLC'er

Yours is a Poster Child for it...