Skip to main content

Author Topic: My Story 4 Years and counting !

e
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 471
  • Gender: Female
My Story Re: 4 Years and counting !
#90: October 24, 2020, 05:06:14 PM
Journaling

The ex-husband sent me extra money this week, with a note saying just in case you need anything. Don't get me wrong I'm happy about the money I just can't but wonder why is he being nice.   
  • Logged

s
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1662
  • Gender: Female
4 Years and counting !
#91: October 25, 2020, 06:16:07 AM
I’m the same. It clington is extra nice I wonder what he’s done:planning
  • Logged
Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

e
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 471
  • Gender: Female
Re: 4 Years and counting !
#92: October 25, 2020, 07:03:30 AM
Sachat. Just sending me money to be nice. My guard is up for sure.
  • Logged

G
  • **
  • Jr. Member
  • Posts: 57
  • Gender: Female
Re: 4 Years and counting !
#93: October 25, 2020, 07:17:34 AM
I can relate.  The nicer my husband is ... the bigger the blunder that is coming my way!  So sad that we have become so cynical.   :)
  • Logged

s
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1662
  • Gender: Female
4 Years and counting !
#94: October 25, 2020, 12:33:53 PM
Yeah I would keep the guard up. However extra money is always a bonus!
  • Logged
Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

M
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3615
  • Gender: Female
Re: 4 Years and counting !
#95: October 29, 2020, 01:38:59 AM
Em, it's good your guard is up. If there's one good thing we learn from all of this is to trust our gut. I know that until BD, I was so trusting and excusing of everyone, especially my H, but BD was a massive lesson. It's kind of sad of course to always be looking for the shady side in our H's kind actions, but at least we've got our eyes open. The extra money is always handy for our own needs so glad you got it.
  • Logged
Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

N
  • ***
  • Full Member
  • Posts: 177
  • Gender: Female
4 Years and counting !
#96: October 29, 2020, 04:00:36 AM
Personally I would also be mad. Clington rarely comes inside my house. And when he does he usually stands in the kitchen like a lost part. You would think my house had cooties the way he acts.

Yeah, mine just wanted a nosey I think as his mum had told him about my new kitchen. I'm sure that's what it was about.

Well, I got another bomb drop yesterday from ex. He is the sh**ty gift that keeps on giving. OW is pregnant. I have had my cry about it and I'm trying not to dwell on it. I just find it so disrespectful and hurtful that he left when I was pregnant with our 2nd child to be with OW and caused nothing but chaos abusive behaviour towards me and made my pregnancy utterly miserable. Now he's acting like doting husband/father of the year for the OW.

Not my monkeys. I keep telling myself. Kids came home very happy to be having another brother or sister. I said to my son I found it a bit hurtful and he told me to get over it. So, I won't be making any further comments about it.

Ex's mum messaged me to say she loves me and that she hopes I am ok. I was very touched by this.
  • Logged

  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 10717
  • Gender: Female
4 Years and counting !
#97: October 29, 2020, 04:59:46 AM
Quote
OW is pregnant.

Of course she is, New Day...... ::) ::) ::)

It's extraordinary really how many of these disordered folks are textbook predictable once we stop sobbing our guts out at the horror of it all. Shiny new house/wedding kibbles worn off? Have a baby....control and attention in a 2 for 1  ::)
There is something quite repulsive about any woman who would knowingly have an affair with a man whose wife is pregnant imho....I trust that the universe will send her horrible stretch marks, haemorrhoids and bad pregnancy skin  :)

I suspect that, much as none of us wish harm to a new young innocent life, your xh and owife are about to see the karma bus show up. Iirc your xh does not much like not being the only needy child in the house getting attention  ::) He isn't much of a father to his two existing children; he won't magically be a better one to a third....owife is going to have to dance hard and tighten the leash more I suspect  ::).....but hey, reminds me of that phrase about being careful what you wish for in case you get it so not much sympathy from me....
And playing occasional 'family' with borrowed children is rather different from f/t parenthood so owife's life is going to get rather tougher.

None of which, as you say, is your circus. It might feel like a mini BD so by all means let yourself have a few moments (and explain to your son that we are all entitled to our feelings and that being kind costs little...ah, tweens  ::) ) but I know you know that is normal and reasonable. And that the course his life takes now may be a looming s$itshow but not your s$itshow until/unless it affects how he treats your kids. Who knows, if you're lucky, your xh may fade quietly into the chaos of his own life?. (As someone with a vanisher, I must admit I now see tremendous benefits  :)....and I suspect em agrees, being able to take the money with a shrug )
  • Logged
« Last Edit: October 29, 2020, 05:17:47 AM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

s
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1662
  • Gender: Female
4 Years and counting !
#98: October 29, 2020, 07:15:19 AM
I think, it’s easy for you to look at it and be like “oh he’s got his happy lige” he really hasn’t. And nor has she. She knows he’s capable of cheating with a pregnant wife, so go figure what pregnancy hormones are going to do to her monkey braining. However, I firmly believe that’s her karma. Likw was said before me, the type of woman that cheats with a man with a pregnant  wife is nobody to aspire too!

I have something I want to share with you.
1) I saw a TikTok that said “I don’t know who’s daughter needs to hear this, but if a man will leave his whole entire family for you....he will leave you for a whole entire other b!tch”
  • Logged
Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

e
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 471
  • Gender: Female
Re: 4 Years and counting !
#99: October 29, 2020, 04:23:08 PM
Newday
I am so sorry to hear that. Now she has her claws in him for the rest of his life, My daughter doesn't get it either. when they look back as adults they will understand what you went through. Don't be too sure he is doting, my ex treats ow like crap but posts thing on FB to make it seem how happy he is.

Milly
I will take his money any day of the week. And no I do not trust him.It actually makes me parniod when he does something nice. Such a sad way to be.

Sachat
How true is that.

Treasure
Yes I just shrug and take that money. I am sure it wont happen again
  • Logged

 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.