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Author Topic: My Story  Beauty into Beast 18

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My Story Beauty into Beast 18
OP: June 02, 2020, 03:48:59 AM
Time to start a new thread. I am surprised the Bear hasn't attacked me already. Guess I flew under the radar this time. :)

Previous Thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11302.160

Nothing to much to report at the moment.

Had my little off day....in fact it wasn't even a full day to be honest. About 8 hours of moping then I shook it off like it never happened. I like that I can do that to be honest. It has helped me a lot in life.

Right now I am focusing on home schooling, study, and some new side projects. We shall see how it all goes.

It is hot as hell outside... yes even in Scotland.  ::)

There is a guy at our park who is infamous. He walks two huskies on neon yellow leads with muzzles. My mom used to have huskies so I know their temperament. Generally it has a lot do with their owner and how much exercise they get. Suffice to say these two big working dogs who are bred to pull sledges for hours a day....get walked on about 2 foot of leash space, around the block in a circle. They don't appear to have been well socialised, so they are moody and aggressive to any dog that passes.

I generally spend my walks looking out for him. I ask the kids to run around corners and up the small hill, to make sure the ''husky man'' isn't coming. I chit chat with other dog walkers who have run into him, and his dogs went for theirs. Best to be avoided.

So I was out with the two boys (age 4 and 8 ) and my two dogs. We were walking and talking with another lady and her dog (from a safe distance of course). The boys were throwing a stick, and my oldest dog would chase it. Everything was peaceful and calm. Oldest boy throws the stick into the bushes by this big tree, dog goes in after it, jumps back out of the bush (with big stick in mouth), face first into the husky man who had just come around a concealed corner.

His dogs instantly are barking and lunging at my surprised dog. My dog drops his stick and goes into a defensive pose (head down, barking, butt in air...as he tries to sort of bounce backwards away from them). When he gets far enough away he turns to bolt straight for me, I instantly re-leash him, and take him and the younger dog back the way we came. Me and the lady are still talking, and decide to go up a different path in the park.

But of course it doesn't end there does it.

I am talking with this lady, my dog is leashed until he moves on, her dog is skiddish and hiding back round out of sight. And he SHOUTS at me as he approaches ''Don't YOU think you OWE ME an apology?!''.

This man who is likely 6'3'' and a solid 350 lbs decides to start an argument about it. Everything about his posture and attitude and the tone of voice screams bully to me. Which of course is my instant pissed off button.

Now I know what you are thinking. Just apologise, he is a jerk, it is best to just leave the situation. But did I do that? Did I firetruck.

I looked him dead in the face and said ''You want me to apologise because your dogs went for mine?!''.

He of course was gobsmacked. He expected his size and sheer @$$hole aura was going to intimidate me, make me apologise, then he would curse me as he walked off. I know his type. Boy how right I was.

After a moment he started to stutter something about ''Your dog attacked mine'', I replied ''With a stick in his mouth?''. His face turned red and I could see the steam coming out of his ears. Eventually he just resorted to ''Well he should be leashed you stupid *bleep*''. At this point I realise there is no point. This guy would argue with the tree that it had to much bark. So I smiled sweetly and said ''Good morning to you to sir''. That obviously infuriated him but he walked off calling me a smart ass and swearing at the me the whole way.

Maybe if he had approached me in a more civil or even neutral manner, I would have apologised out of courtesy. Hell I tend to apologise to random people for slight annoyances. A bike coming down the path? We step into the grass to let them pass. The dogs get to curious and come close to a stranger? Call them back and apologise. There are tons of people we talk to, dogs they play with....and only one I need to avoid. I think it is safe to assume my dog is not the issue. Perhaps the neon yellow warning leads and muzzles might give that away. But whatever.

A few minutes later another lady with a lab stopped us and asked if his dogs had went for mine. I said yes. She said his dogs have gone for her lab 3 times, and they have to constantly avoid going anywhere near him. This is terrible to hear, but made me feel better about the whole thing.

In hindsight should I have just apologised and defused the situation at the start? Probably. Is my anti-bully radar probably going to get me in trouble one day? Probably.

But should a big man with aggressive dogs be yelling and talking to women with small kids in the park like that? Absolutely not. And I certainly am not the type to be scared or intimated.

For better or worse I think that is not going to change.

But you know other than that...most things are calm and quiet. Here's hoping we manage to avoid Mr Happy for a while.  :D
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« Last Edit: June 02, 2020, 03:50:02 AM by Mortesbride »
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

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Beauty into Beast 18
#1: June 02, 2020, 06:30:27 AM
Here you go.....

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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Beauty into Beast 18
#2: June 02, 2020, 08:04:32 AM
Morte, I’ve just caught up on your thread and I would like to say this regarding your graduation.

I would be more than happy to come and attend (if you wanted me to and we’re comfortable with that!) I’m also happy to watch your kids whilst your graduating so that your children get to see this monumental moment. All you have to do is say and I’ll gladly take a trip to Scotland. Provider we are able to travel.
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OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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Re: Beauty into Beast 18
#3: June 02, 2020, 01:12:54 PM
Welcome to your new thread, Morte. The dog guy was a jerk and you just stood up for yourself and your dog. Nothing wrong there.

Glad to hear that your off day didn't go into the next one. I bet it feels good to see that we can now stop ourselves from cycling down too long. I find it's a relief to know I am usually able to get myself to cycle back up.

I hope the weather keeps up and you and the kids get to enjoy the open air. 

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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D25, D22, S15
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

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Beauty into Beast 18
#4: June 02, 2020, 11:16:06 PM
Attaching
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M-42
H-44
S-20 (mine)
D-18 (ours)
S-15 (ours)
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17 (told me 4 days before)
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
New GF 2/29/20 (Told me 4/22/20)
Marrying her 4/24/20 (Told me 4/22/20)

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11404.0

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

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"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

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Re: Beauty into Beast 18
#5: June 04, 2020, 04:37:37 AM
Coming along mort xx
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Me 52
H53
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

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Beauty into Beast 18
#6: June 04, 2020, 09:38:43 AM
Dog guy sounds like a d!ck who needed a scolding. Nice work.  I find that angry people in general all have some kind of inner turmoil going on and look for a target for their aggression wherever they can find it.

And you are allowed to have those off days. You don';t have to have it all together every second of every day. That will drive you batty.

I am a big apologizer too. And for things that don't merit an apology. LOL. It is such a girl thing to do. There was a Saturday Night Live skit about this with Amy Schumer. Hilarious. And sadly, a little true. Oh well.

Anyway, happy to be along on your journey my friend. You sound magnificent as usual.
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S13
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OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

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Re: Beauty into Beast 18
#7: June 04, 2020, 12:31:50 PM
I’m watching amy  Schumer learns to cook. Have to protect your own mort. Including pets as they are our family xx
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Me 52
H53
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

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Beauty into Beast 18
#8: June 05, 2020, 09:25:18 AM
So...

Beast's Birthday.

I decided to buy him a pair of fish slippers.

Then today every text I have given him has some sort of fish joke in it.

''Fin-tastic day. Hope it goes swimmingly. Halibut you ask me later. Sea you soon.''

You get the idea.

So took the kids over with their stuff, and his birthday presents.

He opens the box as me and the kids are laughing like crazy people. You would think it was an explosive the way he was gingerly touching it.

Inside he sees the fish slippers...and he is both surprised and extremely amused at the same time.. yet trying to keep a straight face. To my surprise he actually put them on straight away and enjoyed the joke. Though he did say ''I thought I was getting a goldfish or something with all those jokes. Was going to name him Fred''. Bwahahaha.

Maybe it is a sign he is getting his sense of humour back.

But regardless it gave me a mighty good laugh all day.
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You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

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Beauty into Beast 18
#9: June 11, 2020, 07:19:15 AM
Just got a phone call from Beast to say that he is being referred to hospital for testing. The big C word.

Don't tell the kids yet, he just wants to give me a heads up...cuz things could drastically become different.

And now I am flooded with a range of emotions that I can't even begin to fully process yet.

Logically I know there are tons of outcomes. Could be a cysts, scar tissue, benign growth...if it is C then there are treatment options.

Yet the swirling emotions don't listen to reason do they?

What even is my place here?

What am I ''allowed'' to feel? What am I expected to do?

In my new non role. So strange.

And then I think about how sad this whole story already is, and can't imagine if it is the worst...that that is how he chose to spend the last few years he had left.

Biggest tragedy I can imagine. But maybe he doesn't see it that way.
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« Last Edit: June 11, 2020, 07:21:00 AM by Mortesbride »
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

 

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