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Author Topic: My Story BRAND NEW MAN 7

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OP: July 03, 2020, 05:15:51 AM
So tomorrow is July 4th and the 5 year mark from BD. I believe I have done everything humanly possible to save our marriage. EVERYTHING.  ::)

Oh if I could go back in time and slap that Watcher. I'd slap him real good. There was nothing to save. She divorced me at BD. She didn't need it to be legal because she had already divorced me in her heart and that's all that really matters in the end.

There was no way to nice her out of it. No way to spend my way out of it. No way to kiss her ass out of it. They simply become blood sucking users. Every single one of them. They use everyone in their lives. It's not just reserved for us.

I would say I was caught up in it for almost 3 years. I left in March 2018 when she broke down how life was going to be for me. Now I was asked to leave or I chose to leave too many times to remember. However I owned this one.

This 6 month phase from Sept 2017 to March 2018 was supposed to be out our 2 sons however monster would not allow it.

I do believe in MLC and mine has additional issues to add to the fun so I would say I only regret the period from March 2018 til I filed in June 2019 because I had no plan. I was waiting for it to pass I guess.

Mania came for me in November 2018 and it was full blown. We ended up in criminal court 2 months later. After 4 months of NC she came for me in mid April 2019.

I get some criticism for always returning home. Meanwhile, that's the only way I can get to see my son's. At least I was able to help S20 with his prom and graduation during my Spring 2019 stay.

People always viewed it as me returning to her. However, that was the furthest thing from the truth. Yes, Nov 2018 was all about her for 27 expensive days. I'm guilty of that one only.

So it's now over a year since I filed and we are in typical NC. I would have to say that the divorce process just kills it. Whatever the LBS has been feeling is just murdered by the process. It's probably a good thing for me.

There is nothing we can do for them. Don't believe in timelines. This will only end if they want it to end. She doesn't want it to end. I no longer believe in the notion that they return broken.

That would happen only if we allowed it. I'm at a place where she would have to be 100% transformed back to who she was before BD. I would never accept anything less. Meanwhile she wasn't so great prior to BD.

In the meantime I believe my divorce is going to take sometime as Covid19 has offered her a reprieve. I'm in NC, I stopped looking at her social media, so I really have no clue where she is at in life. I surmise Replay because that's where they are always hanging out.  ::)

When in doubt, always go with Replay. They are Replay guilty until proven innocent. Never trust them. They are all liars, manipulators, and will continually stab you in the back. So, I have no clue how one can really reconnect with such dastardly characters. I say good luck with that one.  ::)

Yesterday I ran a little over 9 miles. I received my Brooks PureGrit 8 trail shoes in the mail so I get to test them out today. Tomorrow I have to complete the Red, White and Boom Half Marathon which was supposed to be in Minnesota.

I already received the medal yesterday so I have to get it done. It came accompanied with a cool face mask however no race bib which disappointed me since I save them in a folder. Except for the Mothers Day 2019 race bib which that criminal stole, lol. I told you they are dastardly.

So live your life is what I learned. They will probably come back like a ghost in 10-15 years just to screw up what you rebuilt at that point. LOL Jim Conway, 2-5 yrs my ass. Start at 10 yrs newbies. Anything less is an expectation.

Obviously I love this forum because I'm always here. I only have 65 more miles to run for this Toll Booth Challenge and then I am done !  ;D

Thanks for following along

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« Last Edit: July 03, 2020, 10:57:21 AM by Thunder »

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#1: July 03, 2020, 05:26:42 AM
Following along......
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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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#2: July 03, 2020, 07:59:37 AM
Hey there it looks like you figured out how to close a post out LOL ! You sound good watcher ! Glad to see you moving along.
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Together 12 yrs Married 5
5 kids 3- Step (21) (20) (18) Two together ( 8 ) (9)
BD1 March 2018 - I wish I could give you more of what you need
BD2 Aug 2018 - I want a divorce sent by text ILWYBNILWY

O/M Discovered Nov-18

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#3: July 03, 2020, 12:45:46 PM
Hi UrsaMajor, Father5.

The Brooks PureGrit8 is on sale and this trail running shoe is phenomenal. Oh my goodness. Cupid showed up early, lol.

I had a gift card so that's the only reason why I brought it as I usually receive all the sale alerts from Brooks, Hoka One One, and Oncloud. My goodness. This is the trail shoe.

Meanwhile the heat is oppressive along the canal as I run on the tow path. LOL, after 4 months of running on it I just learned it's called the tow path. Sometimes I stop to read the historical placards.

Ah, tow path. The boats were pulled along the canal usually by person or animal. It's hot along the canal. There is a section where there is the Carnegie Lake and the cool breeze off of it is incredible. Well I wasn't in that section today.

I did see a frog hop right in front of me yesterday going from lake to canal. They can jump really high. Meanwhile the chipmunks have turned suicidal as they dont get out of the way anymore. Maybe it's the heat.

Yesterday I saw 3 deer. 2 young ones and they just stood right on the path. One ran back to its mom who was in the woods however the other I could have touched.

Also, 2 Great Blue Heron flying in perfect symmetry one above the other. Maybe 10 feet apart. However, it gave the illusion that the bottom one was a reflection on the water. Those birds are really beautiful.

I have to strategize for tomorrow as the half marathon is going to be brutal in this heat. Now I'm down to 60 miles.  ;D Overall I'm at roughly 620 miles so I have a way to go.

I'm only concerned with the duration of the divorce and losing any potential leverage. There is nothing I can do at the moment. I need a court date to bring this criminal to justice.

I think if we change the verbiage to criminal it makes it so much more palatable. LOL....

Anyway there is nothing I can do for her. My mom has a friend who did this to her husband when they were in their 40's.

She went with OM, dated him forever, and both were heavy gamblers. She eventually ditched OM. She lost everything, went broke, lives with her daughter and still hasn't changed and now is in her 70's.

I already lost too much and made enough sacrifices. If they don't add to your life then they are not worth keeping in your life.

I don't need a label to describe myself. I'm simply saying I will not accept her toxicity in my life. Time will tell how her story plays out.

I'm sure I will feel something when I get divorced. Currently I feel nothing. I want the consequence delivered. That's what I crave.  ;D

Enjoy your day guys

Thank you
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#4: July 04, 2020, 02:23:12 PM
Well today is Independence Day. It's also she got served divorce papers day. Oh man, how could they serve her on the 4th of July, lol.

This morning I went with the Brooks Ghost 12 for a half marathon. The temperature was cooler however the humidity was a killer. I was beyond drenched. It's pretty bad when even the sneakers stink.

I would have preferred to run in Minnesota, however IDK if I would have wanted Thunder and Stillbaffled to see me dripping wet and full of stink.  ::) That wouldn't have been a good first impression.

LOL, I just presume I would have seen Thunder and Stillbaffled as they represent Minnesota. I ran in an ordinary park today just to get it done.

A half marathon is pretty brutal in this heat. Usually during the Summer I only run 5K and a few 5 milers as that is all that is offered.

I started at 730am so I was done by 930am before the heat really went into effect. It's pretty bad when your sneakers are just wet from swet. Dripping. I think I burned 1800 calories for today's run.

Upon returning home I immediately went to the washer machine, stripped down and cleaned that mess. I can pull off naked so it's ok.

Naked bearded man would probably be a better look but I have no patience to grow one as the itch gets to me eventually.

Oh maybe Thunder or Stillbaffled would have let me borrow their washer machine if I were in Minnesota.

The Red, White, Boom shirt is actually pretty nice and I ran with it on this morning. I think they call it a tech shirt. Alledged dry fit technology.

The mask is also really cool that they sent however I didn't need to wear it.

I was invited to a barbecue and went with the Hoka One One Rincon as it's a great barbecue sneaker. It's a pretty lousy running shoe so I have to wear it somewhere.

So I have reached 242 miles on the Toll Booth Challenge. Tomorrow I have to move furniture. So I have only 47 miles to go and then I can cut back on my running. I will have 700 miles by the end of July so 1,000 for the year will happen.

Oh will I be divorced before I hit 1,000 miles is the question.

Enjoy your day everyone
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#5: July 04, 2020, 04:01:41 PM
Watcher you forget my H ran Marathons and Half Marathons, I am used to seeing men (and women) drenched in sweat afterwards.  I feel nothing but proud for every one of them that crossed that finish line.

So yes you have a banana, a water or a popsicle afterwards and cool down.
But what you did was amazing.  I can only wish I had that kind of stamina, as I'm sure others do too.

My H was a big time sweater too and he thought it was disgusting, but I found it very sexy.
So no worries.   :)

Just glow in the limelight afterwards.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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#6: July 05, 2020, 04:25:19 AM
LOL Thunder,

Well I hope you know how to swim because I was melting like an iceberg in the Sahara Desert yesterday and a lake was quickly forming.

That half marathon would have been a 630am Minnesota start I believe. I'm sure the humidity would have been just as bad since I started at 730am which is 630am in Minnesota time, lol.

I'm still running good without any music. On a day like yesterday the humidity actually builds up in the arm band and just plays havoc with the phone.

The holidays used to be a problem after BD for me however I'm just over it. Yesterday I would have been in Minnesota. Covid19 has us all handcuffed at the moment with travel and socializing.

We all have to adjust to life as we were forced to be single against our wishes. Again it's up to everyone to drop that dead deer carcass one day. Admitting that ones marriage is dead and over has absolutely nothing to do with standing.

That old life is never coming back and no one should really want it back anyway because it probably wasn't all great.

Actually it's quite healthy for an LBS to operate from the position that I am no longer going to tolerate being treated a certain way by anyone.

I will just tune it out and move on. I noticed why I like work so much now. I have a co worker who is soooooooo negative. Its beyond draining and I haven't worked with him since March.

We were at the office together one day last week. His negativity was suffocating me. So I will cut him out of my life for good.

Other people create drama where there really is no need for it so it's easier just to remove myself as I don't need it in my life.

As for kids, well a parents role is to prepare them to go off into the great big world. Its important that a parent has a life outside of their children. This is one of my STBX's problems. She had no life outside of our kids.

Oh she did me a favor by controlling them and keeping them away from me. Keep away from Watcher. The amount of energy that one has to foster to keep those 2 boys in authoritarian control must be exhausting.

Such a flawed human being that she views children as pawns who are to be manipulated and dominated and yes, she too, is a great Catholic. LMAO....

Well Covid19 should have taught everyone a lesson. I guess some people are still struggling with the BD lesson so maybe Covid19 lesson was not so clear.

Children grow up one day and they thank their parents by shipping them off to a home one day. AKA America's euthanasia program. Yes at a certain age one must lose their children's phone number. Block them.

Live off the grid. Move if you have to. Do whatever you have to do to survive. That day is coming for all of us, lol.

So that's my last make up race. The next race is still scheduled for October and that is the Marine Corps Marathon. I have to finish this challenge during the next 10 days and then I can scale back the running.

I mean, Covid19 is still here so it's not like I can do much anyway.

Enjoy your day Thunder

Thank you
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#7: July 05, 2020, 07:27:42 AM
Yeah, we'd have found a shower and and laundry facilities for you, Watcher!  Not to worry, I'm also used to runners and lots and lots of sweat! 

It's been hovering around 90 degrees up north in my neck of the woods and the humidity is crazy - your run here would have been nasty hot. 

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BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

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#8: July 06, 2020, 08:43:46 AM
Hi Stillbaffled.

The heat and humidity have been pretty bad in NJ with no end in sight. We get the pop up thunderstorms however they are providing no relief.

Covid19 is making matters worse as options are really limited. For the most part I adhere to the rules and stay away from people and keep to solitary outdoor activities. You know that's a typical LBS responsible move.

Meanwhile Covid19 doesn't seem to bother many folks (the MLCers) so it makes me question why bother with social distancing.

The crowds are at the beaches so I'm avoiding the shore. I guess Kickboxing is the only activity that has been taken from me. Finding an adult beverage on a hot day is probably another activity impacted.

Well obviously the races have been impacted and I tied them into my traveling. So who knows when life returns to a new normal. Maybe Grandma's Marathon, Red, White and Boom or the Minneapolis Marathon on a return when it can be Covid19 clear.

I found the media coverage on the 4th of July laughable. Here the media spent the month of June portraying the United States as a country with a horrible history. LOL, yea, it is just the U.S with the horrible history. ::) Then that same media has the nerve to celebrate its birthday. LOL.....

I'm a history major so I can tear apart other countries rather easily if I have to defend myself.  ::)

The media likes to gaslight the public as they are MLCers themselves.

No adventures today. Just a quick run after work to whittle down the remaining 47 miles. Tomorrow I'm going to Wharton State Forest which has an old iron works which has buildings still standing.

Yea I cannot escape the Continental Army as this iron works did produce supplies for the war effort.

Wow, laundry facilities and a shower. Now that's Minnesota hospitality.  ;) LOL....

Enjoy your day Stillbaffled
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#9: July 06, 2020, 07:50:33 PM
It stormed early evening and the temps finally dropped. I had the tow path to myself tonight along the canal to bang out a quick 6 miles.

This is my week to run in the early evening during the 6-7pm range so the temps are cooler. However the humidity is always there nonetheless.

Those Brooks PureGrit8 trail shoes have quickly become my favorite. At $85 they are a steal. There must be a newer model coming out to replace it and hence the price drop.

I am now down to 41 miles so 6 miles a day for the next 7 days will bring the Toll Booth Challenge to an end next Monday. No need to push myself beyond that timetable.

I believe July 14th will be the 4 month Covid19 shutdown mark here in NJ. My plans for tomorrow were delayed until either Wednesday of the weekend.

I was passing this farm field while the sun was going down just wondering if this is it. When does life change with LBS status, Covid19 status, divorce status.

I would like to go to my own home. Something that is just mine would be nice. It would be nice to not have to fill time. OMG I think I want to settle down.  :o LOL...
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