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Author Topic: My Story 4 Years Later Wow How Far I've Come MLC Hasn't

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My Story 4 Years Later Wow How Far I've Come MLC Hasn't
OP: July 17, 2020, 11:29:21 AM
I joined this forum nearly four years ago. I was betrayed, dismayed, angry, confused, hopeless. Ex-husband dropped bomb July 2016. Married OW a year after that and divorce. I didn't handle it well at all. Angry for a very long time, relapsed after 20 years on alcohol and got into an abusive relationship. I am now sober and working a recovery program. Met real love of my life after focusing on myself from Sept. 2018 to April 2020, no dating. Put MLCer and finding love again in God's hands. My new love, "Big D", and I were in school together 6th through 12th grade (but didn't ever hang out). Big D was placed in my life April 1, 2020. His wife struggled with cancer for 3 years until unfortunately she passed away last year. I knew his deceased wife's sister and realized much after the fact that she had passed. I sent Big D a FB condolence message and began talking innocently for several weeks. Every day, it was more and more clear we were falling in love and meant to be together. It is surreal how this all happened and how I was ok with never dating again or entering in a relationship ever again. I WANTED to be alone! I still struggle with thought of marriage, living together. His 4 adult children, except his 18 year old son, aren't ready to meet me. They are all women. I am beyond blessed with patience, compassion, empathy, love, selflessness. I am a better person because of Big D. MLCer still completely unchanged since 4 years ago. His family talks to me more than him. OW still has spell over him. He and I coparent and get along.Oh, and I had Coronavirus very very bad during time Big D and I first chatted. Thought I was gonna die. I'm ok now. It's no joke. Wear a mask, socially distance, wash hands, be smart. For all those in the beginning of MLC crisis: It's gonna be ok. Have faith and hope. Focus on you. Get support.
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M 4 years, together 7 1/2 years
Me 47
H 49
2014-2016: H withheld sex, love, affection, touch 100% of time.
BD1:07/20/16 "I'm not attracted to you anymore"--kicked H out and hasn't been back.
BD2: 10/17/16 OW, an ex-fiancee and an affair-down, confirmed.
Legal Separation: 10/27/16
Divorce Started: 12/2/16--I'm DONE!
Divorced 6/28/17

"I am not a one in a million kind of girl. I am a once in a lifetime kind of woman."

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4 Years Later Wow How Far I've Come MLC Hasn't
#1: July 17, 2020, 12:05:55 PM
Wow, More, well done on getting sober in the LBS s$itstorm....that's an incredible achievement.
And how nice to hear that the universe brought you Big D when it was the last thing you expected  :)
So glad to hear you toughed it through Covid too....and thank you for reminding us to take it seriously....and that it can and will be ok bc most of us spend quite a while finding that almost impossible to believe post BD, don't we?
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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4 Years Later Wow How Far I've Come MLC Hasn't
#2: July 19, 2020, 08:29:14 AM
Thank you More. That was 50 posts summed up in 1. Just really,  really helpful and encouraging.
You are a soldier. Keep on marching!!
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Sada
Married 13 years, together 23
Apr 2014: PA discovered, ow 22 yrs younger
May 2014: "I love her & she loves me"
("But I'll always love you the most")
Jun 2014: Left home to live w OW
Aug 2014: Back home. "Sorry, made mistakes"
Late 2015: Ow2 (a couple of dates I think). Monster
  returned for several months 
Today: H progressing thru mlc positively. Has remained
  home and reconciled
Arguments & disagreements very infrequent
Enjoying our time together

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4 Years Later Wow How Far I've Come MLC Hasn't
#3: July 22, 2020, 07:01:16 AM
Treasur, I remember you and so glad you are doing your blog and moving on. I'd be still drinking if I was holding on to MCer this long. Not healthy at all. After all this, I've realized holding on to MCer the first year post-BD was toxic for me. Reduced my already low self esteem. Perpetuated my anger. It feels good to live my life and put me first!
  • Logged
M 4 years, together 7 1/2 years
Me 47
H 49
2014-2016: H withheld sex, love, affection, touch 100% of time.
BD1:07/20/16 "I'm not attracted to you anymore"--kicked H out and hasn't been back.
BD2: 10/17/16 OW, an ex-fiancee and an affair-down, confirmed.
Legal Separation: 10/27/16
Divorce Started: 12/2/16--I'm DONE!
Divorced 6/28/17

"I am not a one in a million kind of girl. I am a once in a lifetime kind of woman."

 

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