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Author Topic: My Story 2020 with clearer vision - Part 2

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My Story 2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
OP: July 20, 2020, 02:38:12 AM
Previous thread - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11330.msg767793#msg767793

I hope I did that right as I’m on my phone and not that savvy with this kinda thing.

I feel like it was perfect timing to start a new thread.
So on Friday I decided to take the children away for a weekend. I decided this just as I was picking D6 up from school. I just thought firetruck it. I had been debating it but kept talking myself out of it “oh but what if D3 kicks off on the journey” “what if what if what if” but then I just thought no, fire truck it. I booked the train walking back from school and booked the hotel on the train.

We arrived on Friday and went straight to the hotel. Had a quick freshen up etc and then decided to have chips on the beach. I mean, you can’t really go to the seaside and not have chips can you? Well, this was certainly a memory that will stay with (scar) the kids for the rest of their life. We found this chippy that did cute little buckets of chips, so I ordered them and envisioned this cute little photo I could get of them on the beach eating it. The chippy cost me £21!! And as we started walking with it towards the beach, seagulls appeared. Before we could get to the beach we were swarmed with easily 50+ sea gulls who LITERALLY came right above us and stole the chip buckets from the kids. The kids were in floods of tears. D8 got bit/pecked by a seagull on the hand. A man who was also on the beach had to help retrieve the buckets (minus the chips) for us. The kids have since refused to eat chips from the chippy since.

I mean it was a ordeal for them but I kinda also wish someone videoed it.

The next day we went to the arcades and I lost my bank card. And to make it worse, there were no branches of my bank around. So I was completely stuck. Luckily my phone “auto fills” my card details so I could order tickets etc online. Annoyingly the children had been desperate to stay a extra night. So when we were checking out, I ordered a extra night (at £160) and then within a hour or two lost my bank card. Yipee. We then went to Madame Tussades and the kids really were in their element especially D6 who is a massive Britney fan and they have a wax work of Britney. Luckily, clington phoned and D8 explainer about the bank card and he reminded me that MIL lives 15 minutes away so to speak to her as she could drop off cash, which is what she did. I put money in Clingtons bank (as I don’t have her details). He put it in hers. And she gave me the cash. Which was handy if I’m honest. We had a hotel right on the sea front so after MIL came and dropped the cash off. We had a bit of a chat etc. Me and the girls went and got some snacks and sat on the benches by the beach. We saved some snacks for the hotel. We then went back. Had baths etc and then all snuggled in bed and watched Mama Mia (well some of it as it already started). Luckily the hotel we stayed at had one massive huge bed - it fitted all of us in comfortably and two single beds. So it was nice we had the huge bed to be all together. Because I hadn’t cancelled my bank card I could auto fill it and booked us tickets for the pleasure beach, I also ordered us the unlimited refill cups just incase I ran out of cash. It was quite expensive I won’t lie BUT honestly we had the best time ever and defo got our money worth as we were there all day. D8 in particular is a very appreciative child. And when I told her we were going to the theme park began crying saying “I’m just so happy to go”.

Honestly it wasn’t half as stressful as I thought it would be travelling with three kids on my own. And we had the best day. Was just a bit crap that we could have gone abroad for the price I paid for our weekend in Blackpool. However it’s made me even more determined to sort passports and be able to do this abroad soon!

The night before we went Blackpool my cat had kept me awake all night and I was so paranoid I would come back to her having had kittens. Luckily, this didn’t happen! So I am very happy about that.

All in all, it was a roaring success and I’m so proud of myself that I was able to do it all by myself.
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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Re: 2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#1: July 20, 2020, 09:55:43 AM
With you my lovely xx
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Me 52
H53
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

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Re: 2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#2: July 20, 2020, 09:56:18 AM
Sounds like a fabulous weekend xx
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Me 52
H53
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

M
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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#3: July 20, 2020, 04:33:44 PM
Good job on the solo trip with the girls.  Making memories!
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BD and moved out 9/2017
M 30 years at BD, together 34

m
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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#4: July 20, 2020, 04:39:37 PM
Attaching xx
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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#5: July 20, 2020, 06:59:50 PM
Attaching. Sounds like a very memorable trip!
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"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Together 28 years, married 27
Two adult kids, ours

BD #1: 2016 - EA
BD #2: 2018 - FA
W moved out - June 2019
OM#3 - July 2019
W asks for divorce - August 2019
Divorce final - September 2019
Card-carrying member of the Iffer Party

My thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11537.new#new

s
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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#6: July 26, 2020, 11:55:50 AM
Thanks for attaching/staying with me guys!

Mal - I must admit it may only have been a small trip to Blackpool but it was 2 hours travelling there 2 hours travelling back. All on my own with three kids 8 and under so I’m pretty proud of myself. I feel more confident in making more trips alone in the future.

PJ - I have a feeling this will be one trip the girls won’t forget 😂

Update

So during the week we didn’t have much contact with clington. I text him on Monday and asked if he could have the girls on Friday evening as one of my friends wanted me to go for drinks at her house. So I asked him and he said “I’ll double check but shouldn’t be a issue”.

On Wednesday I took the girls to one of my friends children’s birthday parties, it was a all day thing and was really lovely for the girls. There was lots of children a bouncy castle etc. We stayed till around 10pm! However, those who have me on social media will remember my “My favourite kids parties are the ones you drink at” well, silly Sacha forgot to eat properly before which made Sacha get a bit too squiffy. So I phoned Clington and asked if he could come collect the kids. He said he couldn’t as he was working the next day. Which was fair enough. In the end, C (remember him from previous threads) began texting me and he came and picked me and the girls up from the party. It was a bit awkward because I don’t want anything romantically with him, I certainly didn’t want him meeting my children however it was only brief. They were so tired I don’t think they remembered which worked well for me. However once we got back to mine I did explain to him again, that it will never be romantic as I just don’t view him that way.

I can’t remember what day, but one day this week a letter came for clington...so I opened it. Mainly because I’ve had a few letters for a while and I’m interested in what they are. I opened it up, and it was a letter from his credit card company. Mr “I have sorted my life out now” Clington has missed w payment. His credit card is also maxed out. I won’t lie, the evil inside me felt very smug. At BD my finances and life was an absolute mess. There was nights I had to turn the gas physically off at the meter so that I didn’t use it during the night. However since BD, I’ve stayed in more than I wanted too. I’ve saved money. I’ve cleared debt. Whilst clington was off buying new houses and going on holiday and spa breaks. I didn’t. And now, I can. All my bills are paid and I’m not missing payments. I’ve also got money in my savings so yes I did feel smug. I then contacted the company and told them he was no longer at this address. As he’s missing payments I don’t want his bad credit blacklisting my address.

On Friday when he came for the kids we had w brief chat in which he told me I might not be able to have Friday nights kid free as he has been made redundant and will now be doing agency work and what not. I don’t know if I’m over cynical but I find it a bit suspicious, that he always has to “double check” about Fridays. Then suddenly he’s made redundant and can’t do Fridays anymore but managed to get a new job within a few hours whilst he was in his old job? Hmmmm. I guess we will see as everything comes out in the wash as they say. As the kids were getting in the car I was talking to him through the window and he opened his glove box and a small really rubbish phone was in the glove box. So I said “Ohhh aye” and he was like “yeah that’ll be my new phone I’m selling my iPhone”. So I said “if your getting rid of it you should have said. D8 could have had it” to which he replied “no I’m selling it”  I then made a few jokes about him being a drug dealer. To which he shrugged.

As it turns out, my friend I was meant to be having drinks with cancelled on me. So I decided to stay in and clean the house. This way, I got the practical stuff out of the way on my child free weekend and I could do what I wanted the rest of the time.

On Saturday I noticed from D8 TikTok and w few selfies she sent me that clington had been splashing the cash. He had taken all the girls out and bought them all new trainers. Why I will never know as they don’t need them and he clearly doesn’t have the funds for this as he is missing payments. I stayed up way too late on Saturday. I didn’t get to bed until 5am on the Sunday morning as I was too traumatised after watching the Jeff Epstein documentary that I had to stop and watch a comedy film. I felt very emotional and just wanted to cuddle my girls and hold them tight but they weren’t here to do that. It’s funnt because even when I go out clubbing I’m never out this late yet the night I stay in, stay sober I’m up later than usual 😂.

I noticed D8 did a TikTok from Clinton’s car and I just knew he would bring the girls back early. Low and behold around 3-4pm he FaceTimed. General chit chat etc and then he said “I’m just down the road from you so I’ll bring them home soon”. Okay!

Now this is the point where I need a bloody medal....as we’re talking when he returns the children. I explained I would probably take D3 to the CBeebies land hotel for a night or two for her birthday in a few weeks. And I said to clington “If it’s all open and okay to go. You two are more than welcome to book your own room and come along”. Now I know clington and Ow won’t come at all. However I felt it was the right thing to do to invite them, for D3 sake as it is her birthday. If that means I’ll have to be around Ow (unlikely) then so be it. I will be civil for a day anyway.
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« Last Edit: July 26, 2020, 11:59:54 AM by sachat3 »
Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#7: July 26, 2020, 12:39:50 PM
Wow Sacha,

That is really brave of you to invite your ex and the OW!  That represents true growth.
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Me (W) 43 - W 41
BD - Jan 17, 2020


OW status unknown, don't care, not relevant.

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Re: 2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#8: July 26, 2020, 03:00:41 PM
Sachet you are a better woman than me as I don’t think I could do that but if my kids wanted to meet her then at some point I would do it for my kids. Xx
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Me 52
H53
Divorced 3/dec/2019
Together 30yrs
BD 20/10/2014
Left first 12/12/2014
10 come backs and leaves again for same ow
Last left 7.03.17.
Ow 16 yrs younger, no children never been married. co worker. EA turned to PA and lives with ow
Divorce bomb drop by him 31/8/17 by solicitor letter after being caught by ow at lunch with me 3 wk earlier. Finances Not yet finalised.
Crazy divorce started by him.
Clinging boomerang for 3 yrs now Vanisher but  twice a yr pops his head up. ow has balls in a vice!

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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#9: July 26, 2020, 06:41:29 PM
Hello,

Quote
Mr “I have sorted my life out now”

Nice when the true facts come out. LOL

Quote
And now, I can. All my bills are paid and I’m not missing payments.

Isn't that a nice feeling? I am putting the final touches on my next five year plan. I remember the first month after she left and I had 38 cents in my account. The first year was tough, but I never missed a payment and I took care of my daughter's school. Now I am married and enjoying a much more comfortable life as well. I am glad you made the wise choices early and missed the iceberg and now Clington has hit the iceberg.

Keep taking care of yourself and your kiddos. You deserve a big virtual high five and hug!

Ready
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"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."

 

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