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Author Topic: My Story 2020 with clearer vision - Part 2

K
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My Story 2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#20: August 06, 2020, 01:09:52 PM
I can relate. My Dad and aunts and uncles are on a constant prowl/manhunt for me. You know, so I don't end up alone. I kindly remind them that I WASN'T alone before H left. Anyone can leave. Howz about we start recognizing the fact that KIT has single-handedly handled the Sh@! out of this situation for 4 years now. I just nod and smile now. They care. They want us happy. All we can do is get happy on our own and intoxicate them with our happiness as singles.

Now.......if someone were to set me up with a handsome widowed plastic surgeon, I may indulge......

Happy you had a great holiday--both the trip and the non-clington aspects.
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Re: 2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#21: August 06, 2020, 04:47:12 PM
Kit. That’s the kind of guy I’m looking for. Lol but like you, I am kind of happy on my own.
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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#22: August 07, 2020, 03:18:16 AM
The thing is with my mum, she’s very much a “this is how I did it so you have to do it this way” type of person. And in the most humble way, if I wanted to find w man to merely sleep with, I quite easily could. In this day and age it’s very easy to do. However, I’m very VERY happy with my life right now. I don’t “need” a man. However, if someone wants to come in they have to be VERY special. Not just someone I only want every other weekend.

I had a very strange interaction with clington, now I’ve very very sceptical about a lot of things he tells me. IE him being made redundant...was he really? Or was it a excuse to get out of having the kids Friday evening? Has he really got a new job, just this week or has he always had it? Etc etc. And so on Wednesday, we had a chat on the phone for about 10-20 minutes. Very light, friendly etc. Nothing too heavy. Until right as I was trying to hang up he said “oh it’s not a issue, but rent money? What are you doing about it?” Now the arrangement we have is, I receive housing benefit. That housing benefit goes into my bank. I give it to clington and clington gives to FIL who works as the landlords agent. My housing benefit doesn’t cover the whole rent hence why clington covers the short fall. So I was under the impression I had sent the money the previous day. I explained to him in the phone I had sent it. I checked my inline banking and which confirmed it went to him. He then asked what details I sent it to. I told him the details he told me to send to. Just like I sent to every other time. Etc. He was adamant he hadn’t received it. So I said when I was home, as I was out with the children I would phone my bank and see. Low and behold when I phoned him back, he had received it. But hadn’t seen it on his transactions. This could very well have been a genuine mistake, but right now I’m so sceptical about anything and everything he says. Especially since I imagine he has money troubles atm - dang those poor consequences.

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BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#23: August 07, 2020, 03:46:46 AM
Quote from: sachat3
He was adamant he hadn’t received it. So I said when I was home, as I was out with the children I would phone my bank and see. Low and behold when I phoned him back, he had received it. But hadn’t seen it on his transactions. This could very well have been a genuine mistake, but right now I’m so sceptical about anything and everything he says. Especially since I imagine he has money troubles atm - dang those poor consequences.

Or, like a vast majority of Mid-Lifers, he is as thick as a brick and doesn't see his nose in front of his face..... I can't tell you the number of times xW2 has said "You didn't tell me about <xyz>" where I go back, copy the message I sent via Whats'sApp with 2 little blue checkmarks showing that she had read it, copied that and resent it to her....

"Oh, I totally forgot about that."

Yep! Because you have a brain like Mid-Life Swiss Cheese, my dear.....

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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#24: August 07, 2020, 06:39:59 AM
Hmmm, sacha....
As he is having money troubles from the little you know, is it perhaps a sign from the universe to cut out the middle man and send your part of the rent direct to FiL as the agent leaving Clington to send his part separately? Just a thought......
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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#25: August 07, 2020, 11:00:09 AM
I was going to post the same as Treasur. Maybe its time to manage the benefit portion and leave Clington to send the rest?

Either he's foggy and overlooked the payment, or he dipped into it, and tried to pull a fast one over your eyes, in hopes you would send again?  Maybe not, but I dont trust these spending MLC'ers
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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#26: August 07, 2020, 01:04:04 PM
UM - I guess you could be right. Naturally I’m a really sceptical person with most people tbf but EXTRA sceptical with him. I always think sometimes, it’s too convenient to be a coincidence.

Treasure, LBS - in a ideal world that’s how I’ve wanted it since, basically the beginning of me taking over the house. Mainly to show them I CAN DO IT. I AM CAPABLE. But also it stops the unnecessary chats with clington. I don’t want to have to discuss this thing with him as it’s MY house not OUR house. I have asked FIL on more than one occasion and the response is usually “Let’s just keep it as it is. Easier that way” or occasionally “We will discuss at a later date” but then always goes back to the first. I’m not sure why they seem so against it. Even when we were in Blackpool and I lost my bank card when MIL came to bring me the cash, I had to put it into Clingtons bank to put into her bank. Even when I asked for her details she said “put in Clingtons bank and do it that way”. I did think about cutting out the middle man completely and just handing them my rent in cash, but then I wouldn’t have evidence I gave it them if I needed it. Whereas with bank transfer it’s there in black and white.

Lbs - I’m also not sure if he tried to pull a fast one. Because like you say they do spend spend spend. I mean it’s only last week he sold both his Apple Watch and iPhone 11 “because he doesn’t use them” but got a really crappy Samsung phone 🤷🏽‍♀️ he only seemed to see the transaction on his banking when I said “well here’s a screenshot of my banking saying it’s gone to you, along with all the other times with no issue. All to the same account”.





Today I received a phone call from the police regarding that video D8 received. They want to come and speak to me at home. It will be Sunday afternoon/evening. So I text clington and 1) let him know and 2) ask him if he could bring the girls back at a later time than usual as I don’t want D8 to see the police officer unless they want to speak to her. Right now she doesn’t know about the video and I would like to keep it that way if possible. Absolute radio silence. Which I expected.

I had to have a little chuckle, I have a friend that follows ow on social media. I don’t really like this, and have asked not to be told anything. Unless it’s a needs must type of thing. Anyway I was talking about D3 birthday with her and said I would stay at the hotel (Covid depending) so we could have one day at CBeebies land and one day at the water park splash landings. My friend then laughed and said “well she’s got her get out of jail free card” turns out today she’s been there. Which is fine by me. I extended an olive branch, which let’s be honest I didn’t have to do. And I invited ow to MY daughters birthday and it seems she’s looking for excuses not to come. Which is fine by me.

All these issues with clington and the rent is making me second guess this house. I love it, but the ties to FIL and the family are so strong. If I were to get another rental (would be either more expensive or same price and smaller) or a council house, it would be all mine. It’s a very hard choice that I will have to think about in great deal. One other option, and it’s my “favourite” is to work my arse off for a few years and see if I can buy this house. But I’m not sure if it’s doable.
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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#27: August 07, 2020, 01:18:42 PM
Perhaps it is time to stop 'asking' and simply say that this is how you'd prefer it to be from x date......?
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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#28: August 08, 2020, 04:43:56 AM
Treasure - your definitely right. I think when it comes to FIL and MiL in particular I need to “toughen up”.

So clington came for the children today at the agreed time. He’s his usual strange self. I had a few deliveries on my kitchen side when he came in the kitchen. One of which was a box from “Pandora”. He looked at it and went “oh eye” as if to say “who’s buying you pandora” however I would have let him think whatever, I wasn’t going to correct him on the fact it was actually my friends birthday present (I’m at her party tonight) but D8 butted it “it’s what we got for M” and he then looked at me and said “M? Never heard of her”. Why would you have heard about MY friends I’ve made after BD!?

As he was then putting the kids in the car and I’m saying goodbye to them I mentioned how to get D3 hair brushed it’s best at a table with a mirror (she’s very phobic about her hair being brushed and screams a lot!) and I said “it’s so much easier. I’m getting one. My mum had one at the caravan and it worked. At home I have to wrap my legs around her to do the slightest of brushes” he then made a sexual comment. Which silly me thought may have stopped 🙄 I ignored it. Which seemed to do the trick.

He eventually after trying to involve me in pointless chit chat, drove off.

So Atleast my kids free weekend and GALing starts now. Yippee. So if I start speaking gobbledygook from now on ignore me...it’s the Gin 😂
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Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#29: August 12, 2020, 01:38:43 AM
I had the wildest of wild weekends at my friends. I can’t lie. Unfortunately don’t have the “I best go home I need my bed mindset” so I didn’t get home till 8am and I have two HUGE blisters on the back of my feet. After the original party, I went to one of the school mums houses (hence how I wasn’t home till 8am) and we quite literally were up just putting the world to rights. It was quite nice actually that I seem to be bonding with more and more people since BD. Winner winner.

The police were going to come round on the Sunday but things for them got busy and she phoned to say she couldn’t come. Which I’m actually quite glad about as I needed my bed! She did instead come last night, which was good. But she did say it’s slim and none anything can be done about the video D8 got because there was nothing to identify him. No photos. No face. No real name. No location etc. However they have noted it all down and if they can track him, they will try but she has warned it’s slim and none. Which I understand.

I phoned clington this morning and explained that to him and just basically kept him in the loop. No idea who he thinks he’s speaking to on the phone because when I phoned he said “Yello” to answer. We then got cut off before I could finish telling him what was said and he answered again this time saying “Yo”.

What did tickle me a bit, was that with all the issues clington had, I had a broken iPhone 8 that I said clington could have however, he would need to pay to get it fixed. He gave me some BS story about “oh you know I’m not bothered about things like iPhones” then when he’s collecting the kids and I text to ask what time he would bring the girls back, I noticed the text went from green to blue. Meaning he had a iPhone and low and behold he stood at the door and told me how he had just picked up a iPhone 8. He must have felt like he needed to fit in or something. I don’t know. 
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

 

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