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Author Topic: My Story 2020 with clearer vision - Part 2

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My Story 2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#70: September 12, 2020, 11:39:20 AM
Happy Birthday Sachat!
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Me (W) 43 - W 41
BD - Jan 17, 2020


OW status unknown, don't care, not relevant.

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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#71: September 13, 2020, 02:42:25 AM
Thankyou for all the birthday wishes. I had a very lovely day.

I didn’t think I would be here with an update for you all but hey ho. Here goes.

Here’s a bit of back story, before Ow met my children. I told clington “it’s your call when you want to introduce them to one another. However I expect the curtesy and respect of you telling me and not me finding out from the kids” that was the deal we made. And that happened. So I agreed if I ever got in a relationship and the girls met the man. I would tell clington before hand.

My children have met C’s children a few times and they get on reallt well. As we have many many mutual friends. When there is a children’s party both of them are invited. His oldest is 3 months younger than D9 and his youngest is 2 months older than D6. So it’s inevitable they would get on. Especially when our mutual friends children are around 3/4. More in D4 age range. They are always the older ones that hang together. Whilst the kids have met. C hasn’t really met my kids as he tends to drop kids off and pick them back up. He doesn’t usually stay, but because I do. I’ve met his kids.

Now C is not my partner. He isn’t someone I’ve even kissed. It’s only ever been a repeated flirt. He has told me he likes me though. And for D8 birthday outting yesterday D8 asked to invite C’s children (technically she wanted her BFF O from school, but she was busy. She then asked for Cs kids). So I debated letting clington know there was this potential. However, a HS member told me, unless it was a relationship I didn’t need to tell him. Them being around their friends dad who I sometimes flirt with in a pub. Isn’t information he needs. So I agreed. I decided not to tell Clington. I also decided it probably wasn’t best to invite his kids out either & we just had a family day.

I explained to D8 that we wouldn’t see C’s children. She asked me why, and I just said “Mummy and L&M daddy sometimes go to the pub together and when your grown up it can be very complicated sometimes and it’s best we have a family day” What I didn’t bank on happening was D8 texting clington b!tvhing about me and her text said “Mum is mean, she won’t let me see L and M for my birthday” he asked why and D8 replied “Because mummy and their daddy go to the pub and it gets complicated”. I only found out about these texts at 9pm (they were sent at 11am). So I now assume that clington has put two and two together and typically ended up with ten.

The original plan for today was clington would get the kids from me at around 9-9:30am and take them for breakfast at a place near me with MIL FIL & BIL. I spoke to clington at 9pm Friday and that was still the plan.

When I read the texts, i text my BFF and showed her what D8 said. She laughed and said “clington defo thinks you and C are together and had broken up” (clearly not true). Anyway, about half hour later my BFF sends me a screenshot of Ow Instagram and it is a table with balloons and presents etc and said “all ready for the birthday girl tomorrow” I just laughed a little. I mean, she’s been with clington almost 3 years. She’s lived with him for nearly 1. No Christmas photos. No D6 birthday photos. Not even D4 got photos and her birthday was only a few weeks ago. But suddenly last night D9 gets a photo. Very convenient isn’t it.

So we do our usual birthday things and I’m just waiting for clington to text me as he told me he would text when on his way. No text came. 9:30 comes around. Still no text. Thwn D9 screams NANNY AND GRANDAD ARE HERE” which is irritating because 1) it’s not the plan we had and 2) I didn’t know they were coming so had no warning. And D4 wasn’t dressed. So with MIL at the door I said “oh sorry, I didn’t know you was coming. Clington told me he would get them and he would text when on his way. She then said “oh he didn’t tell you...yeah he’s (she mouthed this bit) blowing up balloons”. So by the sounds of it, clington is now changes the plan from Friday evening to have a mini party for D9 at his house” 😂😂😂

It’s been almost 3 years since we split. The first year he never attended D4 birthday party intact him and ow did their best to ruin the party. There’s been 9 birthdays in this time and yet only D9 suddenly gets a party. If I didn’t know better, I would say someone has a green eyes monster. Which is funny because, there isn’t much to be jealous of but hey. I’ll let him think what he wants.
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#72: September 14, 2020, 09:22:37 AM
So after the breakfast i assumed clington would be bringing the kids back.  WRONG 😂

There was one present I wanted to get for D9. I was originally told that it wouldn’t be in stock till Tuesday however at 10pm the company text and said it was back in stock and could be picked up from 11am Sunday. So I was happy and explained this to XMiL. She said it would be fine. So I went to pick it up. Turns out clearly wasn’t fine because before I was home D9 text to tell me she was coming home. So I phoned MiL and made them go round the block a few time’s.

Around an hour or so later I have clington phone me. It was a weird call where he didn’t seem to have a point to it. Usually it he wants to talk to me about something, he’ll make pointless chat first and then jump in with the “so ....” and get to the point of what he wanted to say. But this time there was no point. When I realised their was no point. I just ended the call with him.

I then took the kids to the airport pub - so no doubt the copy cats will be there this weekend 😂 and whilst there MiL sent me a few photos from breakfast. In one of the photos. You could clearly see in the reflection or the glass Ow taking a photo of the girls. So I know I know, but I checked her insta...it’s an open profile and I wanted to check that there was no photos or the girls on there if it was still open. Even my social media is private now. The photo ow had taken wasn’t on her socials which was good. But there was a photo or D9 birthday cake. Which I’m fine with her acknowledgment of the kids online. Especially as their faces aren’t in the pictures. But, my only concern is, I hope it’s real. I don’t want her to be doing all this but then when the kids are around her actively avoiding the kids. I mean it was only a week ago she set her alarm really early and left the house and never returned until the kids were back with me. So I want to believe that she’s taking a more invested approach to the girls. I don’t want it to be all for social media show.

However, the cake photo she uploaded, was around the point of the best thing about birthdays is cake. Which is a general upload. HOWEVER she never got a slice, as the cake cake back to me all in tack and it was my job to do the candles and cake.
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« Last Edit: September 14, 2020, 09:24:35 AM by sachat3 »
Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#73: September 14, 2020, 04:24:35 PM
HOWEVER she never got a slice, as the cake cake back to me all in tack and it was my job to do the candles and cake.

And believe me that is one cake she will NEVER have. ;)  You made a most memorable day for your little. Such an amazing mama!
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Me 49
H 47
S13
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#74: September 15, 2020, 03:11:29 PM
Well KIT you saw the cake 😍 it tasted as good as it looks. But then MIL is good at that. Not so much on raising decent kids 😂 I joke I joke.

My only thing, Is both her posts were clearly fake regarding ow birthday cake. She laid out presents and balloons on a table as if D9 would see them. She never did as she never went to the house. So was pointless. And also she posted about the cake and how it’s the best part of birthdays but never a actually got any cake. This is why I worry her posts are purely for social media and not a genuine thing. If they are genuine I’m all for it. A extra person to love my girls is always a bonus. I’m just not so sure. Time will tell

So today, we went to see my mum for mine and D9 birthday. Lord, does that woman stress me out. I could cope with her in small doses but it’s hard work. My mum is one of those people where. Her ideas and values are right and If you don’t agree. Your wrong. No ifs no buts. Example - we were eating and my mum had a different meal (She’s a vegetarian) she says to D9 “want to try this?” D9 declines. My mum “go on. Go on” so I step in “mum she said she doesn’t want too. Leave her” my mum “she needs to try things. It’s what life is all about”. Me “no she doesn’t. She has a balanced diet. She’s nine. If she doesn’t want to eat something. She doesn’t need too”. And my mum went in a huff. So that’s the level I’m dealing with.

Aaaanyway. D9 mentioned Ow and my mum suddenly became interested and telling me “oh clington and ow will have a baby and then your screwed” no mum I’m not. Even if Clington never paid a penny again and never had them. I’ve got this. She’s then questioning D9 on ow. And I’m sat there like “hello mum, they’ve been together nearly three years. Why you interested now”. She then turns to D9 and says “I really wish your mummy would have a boyfriend” now this p!$$ed me off because I felt like she was trying to coax D9 into her way. Which then Ofcourse D9 said “yeah well I want mummy’s boyfriend to b C because that my friends dad and then I will see them more” which then started the Spanish Inquisition.
And now my own mother is trying to get me to make C my boyfriend.

I’m aware to people over here, probably my mum but I know definitely my friends in RL they seem to think I’m “anti relationship” and I’m really not. My friends in RL always say “oh but you and c get on so well when your together and he really likes you. Just get with him” and I’m not saying it’s something that will never happen. I’m a never say never kind of person. But it’s not a case of I’m anti relationship. I’m not. It’s just a case of. Unless I’m really into that one person. I don’t see the point. I can’t do a grey area. I’m not that type of person. So if I met someone tomorrow That I was madly in love with. Well sh!!!!t I may just be a 2020 bride 😂😂😂 however it just aggravates me to no end this notion that unless I’m with someone I can’t be happy. I might be single but I can assure you all. My life is so full of love and blessings. I’m not missing out on anything being single.

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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#75: September 15, 2020, 03:23:40 PM
I might be single but I can assure you all. My life is so full of love and blessings. I’m not missing out on anything being single.

Of course! And you have 3 small children. It isn't always feasible to have a full on boyfriend--they require attention too. No, you are doing it right. You are doing what feels right to you and not caving to outside pressures. You are enjoying life and counting your blessings. You may be young, but you are very wise.
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Me 49
H 47
S13
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#76: September 16, 2020, 12:37:52 AM
Parents.... Can't live with 'em and can't whack 'em with a 2x4 either.....

Things are NOT the same as when they were "young."
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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
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BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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2020 with clearer vision - Part 2
#77: September 16, 2020, 02:09:58 AM
The thing is UM she’s actually been a single parent and she’s usually very much “Don’t need no man”. That’s her usual vibe.

To say it’s infuriating that outside influences assume that unless you are in a relationship your not complete is VERY annoying. Im more than fine all on my own. And until I find someone who makes me want to change those things. It’s not worth it to me. I’m all or nothing.

In other news, I’ve also found a online set of courses for beauty treatments that I can do all online, due Covid etc. So very soon I’ll be doing courses in lashes eyebrows etc and not just tanning.
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Me - 28
H - 35
3 children together D3 D6 D8 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

 

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