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Author Topic: My Story Getting Good

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My Story Getting Good
OP: September 29, 2020, 04:06:48 PM
This thread theme brought to you by the song "Getting Good" by Lauren Alaina.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkNc0-7ierw

My last thread started right before the Covid shutdown.  We witnessed the shock of finding out about a new girlfriend turned fiance 48 hours before they tied the knot (covidwifey), the graduation of D18 in the midst of the pandemic and my utter resistance to going as long as I possibly can to not meet covidwifey.  The thread culminated in a rousing housewarming party for my S20 and myself enduring the pain of a tattoo.  My tattoo stands for bomb drop, my brush with suicide, and 3 birds marking my journey to breaking free to who I am supposed to be.  Bird one is small and just coming out of the shock of Bomb drop and the super swift divorce.  Bird two seems to align with Covidwedding.  Bird three - I'm working towards that bird - stay tuned.



Previous thread:
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11404.140
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M-42
H-44
S-20 (mine)
D-18 (ours)
S-15 (ours)
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17 (told me 4 days before)
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
New GF 2/29/20 (Told me 4/22/20)
Married her 4/24/20 (Told me 4/22/20)

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11618.0

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

s
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Getting Good
#1: September 29, 2020, 05:34:42 PM
Love the symbolism and the thought put into that ink, FW. 

Continuing on with you.
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BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

E
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Getting Good
#2: September 29, 2020, 10:21:53 PM
Following along FW. Love the title. I hope to get good sometime soon as well :)
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M: 50 (48 @ BD)
H: 53 (51 @ BD)
Married 20yrs, together 23yrs
D: 21 (19 @ BD)
D: 19 (17 @ BD)
'Extra D': 19 (17 @ BD)
BD (that I didn't recognise as such) Easter 2018
BD 9th Sep 2018
OW (45, now 47) - he met her in the pub a week before BD, told me about her a week after BD. Thinks 'their planets have collided' because 'their eyes met across the room' and they had an 'instant connection'. Lives with her. Is building a life with her. Jun 20: H plans to buy a block of land and build a house with her.

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Getting Good
#3: September 30, 2020, 05:18:28 AM
Every tattoo I have is from a turning point in my life so I can totally understand your reasoning ... and I too love the symbolism.....

My last tattoo was a Phoenix rising and also 6 months after ABD
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Me - 57, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Getting Good
#4: September 30, 2020, 11:23:29 AM
Love that tattoo concept FW!

As UM said in your last thread, welcome to the Ink club  8)
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Me (W) 43 - W 41
BD - Jan 17, 2020


OW status unknown, don't care, not relevant.

S
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Getting Good
#5: September 30, 2020, 01:37:07 PM
FW - I love the thought behind the tat.
I am, however, not in the ink club (yet?)...
Can't wait to see that 3rd bird soar.

Following along and attaching.

Sea
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Seahorses have one mate for life...

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Getting Good
#6: September 30, 2020, 04:01:06 PM
Thanks everyone.  Glad to have you along for the next installment.

I can't believe it's almost October now.  Spring seemed to drag, and then June and July flew by, then August sort of drug along thanks to the fire that seemed neverending.  September seemed to go very quickly for me.

The temps here are just about perfect right now.  Hi 70's and beautiful blue skies again, but definitely a chill in the air in the mornings and the colors are turning.  I would like to do a family picture with S20, D18 and S15 but I didn't think far enough ahead and not sure we can work out a schedule when we are all off together before the leaves drop.  The last family picture I have of us is from Christmas in 2016 that first year after the D and it was an impromptu one by the Christmas tree that SIL's mom took of the 4 of us.  It's definitely time for a new one. 

At first, it really hurt to have family photos that were missing a family member, but now I have accepted that this is our family now and I will want those photos to look back on and see how much the kids are changing and one day our family will grow and their will be grandkids added to the mix.  It's time that I focused less on what's missing and more on what is here in front of me.


  • Logged
M-42
H-44
S-20 (mine)
D-18 (ours)
S-15 (ours)
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17 (told me 4 days before)
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
New GF 2/29/20 (Told me 4/22/20)
Married her 4/24/20 (Told me 4/22/20)

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11618.0

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

W
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Getting Good
#7: October 01, 2020, 12:55:30 PM
Very nice concept and design FaithWalker.
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Getting Good
#8: October 02, 2020, 12:16:08 PM
Very nice concept and design FaithWalker.

Thanks Watcher!
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M-42
H-44
S-20 (mine)
D-18 (ours)
S-15 (ours)
Friends 7y before M
Married 14y
BD 12/14/15 - 2 weeks after 14th anniv.
Divorce final 4/13/16
EA - 9/15-4/16
New GF 12/16
Engaged 6/17 (I found out 8/10/17)
Moved to her State 4 States away - 7/13/17 (told me 4 days before)
Eng. off 8/20/17
Moved back to our State 8/24/17
New GF 2/29/20 (Told me 4/22/20)
Married her 4/24/20 (Told me 4/22/20)

Link to my journey: 
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11618.0

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

"Sometimes - some things have to break apart so better things can be built."

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Getting Good
#9: October 02, 2020, 11:50:37 PM
Along for the walk, FW!
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"I'm slowly learning to expect nothing and appreciate everything."

Together 28 years, married 27
Two adult kids, ours

BD #1: 2016 - EA
BD #2: 2018 - FA
W moved out - June 2019
OM#3 - July 2019
W asks for divorce - August 2019
Divorce final - September 2019
Card-carrying member of the Iffer Party

My thread: https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=11537.new#new

 

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