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Author Topic: My Story My wife's MLC part 2

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My Story My wife's MLC part 2
#140: May 29, 2024, 01:20:52 AM
That is awesome.... Best of luck and hope you keep sharing what you learn at the process.

Alvin
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At time of BD.... Me: 43, XW: 41
Kids: G19,G18,G14,G12,S5
Together - 20½ Years, Married 19 Years

BD ("I don't love you"): Feb 2019, 
BD2 ("I don't want to fix this marriage."), Mar 2020
D filed May 2020, D finalized Dec 2020
I have moved on, and am in new relationship.

Lessons from Stoicism and REBT helped me to exit the chaos zone and become a better person. 

"Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. - Epictetus"
E
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My wife's MLC part 2
#141: May 29, 2024, 02:32:58 AM
Wishing you all the best JT! Keep us updated.
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M: 54 (48 @ BD), H: 56 (51 @ BD); Married 20yrs, together 23yrs
D: 25 (19 @ BD), D: 23 (17 @ BD), 'Extra D': 23 (17 @ BD)
BD (that I didn't recognise as such) Easter 2018
BD 9th Sep 2018
OW - he (supposedly) met her in the pub a week before BD, told me about her a week after BD. Thinks 'their planets have collided' because 'their eyes met across the room' and they had an 'instant connection'. Lives with her. Is building a life with her.
Jun 20: H plans to buy a block of land and build a house with her (never happens).
May 22: Movement... (likely T&G? Time will tell I guess)
May 23: Yep, definitely a T&G last year. Still have contact but very minimal. He is a long way away from me these days. He doesn't seem particularly happy in his new life... but he's still there soooo....
Jun 23: I meet a lovely new man (M).
Jun 24: xH and OW finally buy a block of land
Jul 24: xH proposes to OW... in front of the whole family, just wow...
B
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My wife's MLC part 2
#142: May 29, 2024, 10:17:43 AM
That sounds really positive!

A new journey begins!
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F
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  • Be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves
My wife's MLC part 2
#143: May 30, 2024, 03:51:30 AM
Oh that's great. I am very happy for you, you have made a big journey and grown a lot, now you are changing course.
Please keep us updaded !
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M 45, W43. Married 17 years, together 20
3 children D17, D15, S6
OM discovered Dec 22, BD Jan 23 (few days after)
W living at home 16 mths post BD, then keeps moving in & out "for work" in foreign country.
Aimer, c'est donner sans attendre de retour et tout acte est prière, s'il est don de soi (Antoine de Saint Exupéry)
Love means to give without expecting return, and every act is a prayer if it is a self-gift. (thanks OffRoad !)
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My wife's MLC part 2
#144: May 30, 2024, 05:17:11 AM
Thanks for your update.

It may not be easy, there is much pain from the time she has been in crisis but time can heal, forgiveness can heal.

I look forward to hearing about how things are going. It sounds like communication between you has opened....very happy for you!
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html
J
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My wife's MLC part 2
#145: June 01, 2024, 12:04:32 AM
Thank you all for your kind wishes.
Without this site and the support it gives I wouldn't have the tools to 'understand ' what this MLC world is all about and the pain and confusion that comes with it . The main thing I've learnt is to stay true to yourself, changing to please others is not the right way to live .

'Keep on your tracks that have been mapped out for you '
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s
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My wife's MLC part 2
#146: June 01, 2024, 01:36:26 PM
I am so happy for you! You'd been stalwart, honorable and faithful. The world can't ask for a better human being than that. Your wife is incredibly fortunate. I hope you'll be able to tell her one day that there are women LBSes like myself who would give a lot to be in her place.

I wish you both abiding bliss and partnership. Bless.
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Affair began likely around 2016
Moved out Nov 2018
2nd GF late? 2019
Divorce May 2020
3rd GF Nov? 2023
Me: Still single
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My wife's MLC part 2
#147: June 06, 2024, 10:52:18 AM
Hello,

Great news indeed. I am so glad that through your own acceptance and detaching from her crisis, you have navigated a new life. Now, you are giving yourself an opportunity for a new relationship. With any new relationship, you need to set new boundaries and expectations. One thing that throws a wrench in any reconnection is the notion we can just sweep everything under the rug like nothing has happened and go back to old times. That's not going to work because both of you have changed a lot over the past four years and you will have different expectations.

Just like you are now, go slow, be calm and be yourself. Your story is a great inspiration and I am so happy for you.

Have a great day,

(((Ready))
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"Always look in the mirror and love what you see."
A
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My wife's MLC part 2
#148: June 06, 2024, 11:37:57 AM
4 years and 8 months - wow.

I love my wife and I always will, if I am back together with her some day it will be amazing but I honestly don't think I will can and will wait that long.

I am very happy for you @John T.  :)

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J
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My wife's MLC part 2
#149: July 24, 2024, 01:52:17 AM
I haven't been waiting directly for her , I've been around when asked for something by her , I kept quiet and let her contact me .

As has been correctly pointed out the past can't be washed away with a new tide . The best way to describe us at present is 2 boats side by side on a river not ready to become a single boat yet I can still head for the shore if needed I'm better equipped to deal with life now and read situations better than before.

Thanks again for the constant support 😁
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