[Nas]

Doing a little light reading on one of my favorite sites while having some poisonous drugs pumped into my veins:

https://3quarksdaily.com/3quarksdaily/2023/03/does-identity-matter.html

“If I’m suffering an identity crisis the last thing I want is more of the same story. I don’t want to be the same person or continue the same narrative—that is what got me into trouble. In other words, identity seems to be the wrong relationship between me and my past self in circumstances where significant change is called for. The way out of an identity crisis is to become a similar person, me but without the conditions that give rise to the crisis, which may require I substantially change who I am.”

🎶   https://youtu.be/9qgFGqJz9yc  🎶

[Rollercoasterider]

Nas,
Thank you so much for this!
I'm including it in my weekly email--I'm writing it now and trying to get it out today.
I'm big on Mindfulness and its benefits and this can help me understand why or when it's just not working or someone isn't interested or why and how it can even make a situation worse.
I definitely want to delve deeper into this topic!

https://healingwellcounseling.com/blog/trauma-survivors-why-relaxation-techniques-dont-work-and-what-to-do-instead/

For the longest time, the inability to find comfort in “relaxation techniques” reinforced the idea that there was something “wrong“ with me. I could not relax. Meditation was too still, yoga was too slow. I felt waves of panic during breathing exercises, and the weighted blankets that everyone raves about caused me to feel instantly trapped and unsafe.
I even experienced some similar feelings in self-care situation. Sitting in a hair stylist’s chair for so long, knowing I was unable to walk out at any moment because my hair was covered in dye, made me anxious.
If you’re experiencing anxiety and trying to calm yourself but finding it more distressful, don’t get discouraged. These are some alternative techniques that *might* help:

https://healingwellcounseling.com/blog/grounding-techniques/


🎶  https://youtu.be/IsT_PvMR4j4  🎶

[WHY]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/free-range-psychology/201609/10-reasons-new-love-is-crack-cocaine

The cocaine rush feelings in new love may treat symptoms of mood depression, in the short run. The chemicals that are released during new love are the same chemicals that some antidepressant medications make more abundant in our brains. New love is not a cure for depression of course - what we can expect is a short-term reprieve followed by return to baseline when the cocaine rush phase transitions into “the testing phase.” When relationship excitement is used to mask depression or help us pave over grief or loss of a different relationship (rebound relationship formation), the relief is temporary. Like most addictive processes, long-term positive change as a result of substances (or new love’s euphoria) is generally speaking a mirage in a desert of engulfing loss.

[Nas]

This is a good basic explanation of the window of tolerance:

https://www.attachment-and-trauma-treatment-centre-for-healing.com/blogs/understanding-and-working-with-the-window-of-tolerance


🎶  https://youtu.be/MEl0Chq36lc  🎶

[Nas]

This is kind of a “thick” read, but very, very interesting.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7594748/

(And a basic explanation of the default mode network:
Know Your Brain: Default Mode Network:
 https://neuroscientificallychallenged.com/posts/know-your-brain-default-mode-network)

🎶🎶  https://youtu.be/HUz6IZ5GnbY 

It's so hard to find an answer
It's so hard to stand alone
It's so hard to find a feeling
That was buried long ago
It's so hard to trust another
When it's easier to hide
It's so hard to believe
Unless we try baby try
If I had a dream and it got away
If I found the words would I know what to say
If I had a chance to be someone else
Yeah if I try to believe, try to believe   🎶🎶

[Nas]

Another interesting read:

https://psyche.co/ideas/what-it-means-for-something-to-sink-in-emotionally

🎶🎶 https://youtu.be/8yn3ViE6mhY  🎶🎶

[Nas]

Really worth the read, especially if your MLCer (or you, or anyone in your life) has a history of trauma:

Part 1: Why It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better: Factors that Complicate Healing from Trauma — Different Functional

https://www.differentfunctional.com/blog/why-it-gets-worse-before-it-gets-better-factors-that-complicate-healing-from-trauma

And I was nodding my head through most of Part 2:

https://www.differentfunctional.com/blog/part-2-why-it-gets-worse-before-it-gets-better-relational-contexts-of-initial-healing-with-trauma

🎶  https://youtu.be/4IKddfxkDWk 🎶

[WHY]

Part 2 is a very interesting read, thanks Nas.

[Nas]

Why You Really Want To Run Away From Life (+ What To Do About It)
https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/14140/i-want-to-run-away/

Running Away From Problems, People and Life: Why We Do It
https://www.1vibrantlife.com/running-away-from-problems/


🎶  https://youtu.be/8Csptci0d5s

[Nas]

Reading this with my coffee this morning, for me there’s a lot of avenues of discussion that stem from it but Im sharing it here because, as I read along, I also couldn’t help but think of MLCer’s and their choices…

https://iai.tv/articles/there-is-no-such-thing-as-weak-will-rebecca-roache-auid-2454