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Author Topic: My Story Living Through The Ghost

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My Story Living Through The Ghost
#80: July 20, 2023, 09:01:30 AM
Hello my dear HS friends.  I am home today helping my Mom prep for a colonoscopy later today.  Her diagnosis from the MRI came back as Microvascular Ischemic Brain Disease.  We have been processing this diagnosis the last few weeks and met with her doctor on Monday.  She is at a very high risk for a ischemic stroke and with it being a relation to cardiovascular, heart attack is a risk too.  They are starting her on statin medication post-haste.  We pick the prescription up today and she will start after her colonoscopy.  Please keep us both in your thoughts as we navigate this.  Dementia is a side effect of this disease as the blood vessels are shrinking the blood flow to her brain and so some of the white matter has died.

We have both been making changes to our diet but had to put that on pause for Mom until after the Colonoscopy as it was in direct opposition to our high fiber , hardly any processed foods diet.

Please keep me in your thoughts as I navigate this.  I'm trying to stay positive, keep my stress levels down and do what I need to do to take care of myself on top of taking care of mom.  Having gone through what I have definitely has given me some transferrable skills.

In other news, kids are doing well.  I haven't seen much of S23 lately but he's been working at the dialysis center, dating, camping and generally enjoying life.  D21 just got back from Denver where she and Niece 20 went on their first roadtrip without adultier adults to see Taylor Swift in concert.  They had a great time.

S18 gets pinned at the Fire Department on Monday.  He has asked his Grandfather to do the pinning.  I couldn't be prouder of the man he is becoming.

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"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

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Living Through The Ghost
#81: July 21, 2023, 01:04:03 AM
I got sent some satellite photos of Mile High (I don't care WHAT they named it now, it will ALWAYS be Mile High Stadium to me) the morning of, the afternoon of (around 13:00 local) and about 3 minutes before the concert - they estimated 7200 cars in the parking lots - and the stadium was full at the end....

I heard they were both awesome shows....
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Me - 61, xW - 54
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 17, D - 13
1 Dog
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Moved on in life

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

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Living Through The Ghost
#82: July 21, 2023, 09:07:41 PM
I will keep you and your mum in my thoughts!

I’m not sure what the process was in getting tickets where you are but over here, we needed to register for a code, the code got you in a queue to buy tickets. No code. No tickets. It wasn’t general sale like everyone else. Recently me and D9 had Harry styles tickets but had to sell them. We were both a bit gutted but we couldn’t get to the show in London.  So D9 and D11 wanted to see Taylor Swift I frantically tried to get a code. I stressed myself out for weeks. I dislike Taylor as a person (not that I’ve met her) but like her music. I told myself if I can’t get them on Tuesday, I’ll give up. Sunday they both say “not bothered mum”. My lord! But I’m so glad she was good live, from videos I have seen she does look good!
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Me - 31
H - 37
3 children together D6 D9 D11 (D1 D4 and D6 at the time of BD)
Together - almost 8 years

BD & MLCer moved out - November 2017
OW discovered - December 2017
Moved in with Ow - November 2019
Ow met children - December 2019

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Living Through The Ghost
#83: October 02, 2023, 08:01:38 PM
Yes, there were about 72,000+ fans I think at D's Taylor Swift concert UM.  Sachat, I'm sorry you missed out on seeing Harry.  My D absolutely adores Taylor Swift.  She tried to get codes through me for next year in New Orleans and Florida after Taylor announced she was extending the tour.

Yes, Mile High UM!  That's what I always used to think of it as although is it even the same location now?  In August I went to the same stadium with my SIL and we were with 84,000+ fans to see Ed Sheeran.  Ed had more ground space than TS due to difference in stage setups.  We got several lightning delays but finally were able to enjoy the concert.  I did not enjoy being shoved into the inside hallways with 84,000 other people though.

Wow, it's been a while since I've popped on here.  I'm headed to another concert on Friday, this time in Las Vegas to see P!nk.  I took Friday and Monday off and am looking forward to a little respite weekend.  My coworker lost her F in August and was out for 2 weeks and it's our crazy hiring season, so I put in some long hours at work trying to cover both our jobs.  The last few months have definitely been tougher on her.  I was happy to hold down the fort at work.  We've had some other things going on at work that just has us constantly hopping.  I can't complain though, it's been a great place to work.

Kids are still doing well.  S23 has a girlfriend.  Just a recent development.  He's in Puerto Vallarta vacationing with his F and Step-Mom so they are getting a week break.  They met through his work.  The funny thing is that her F used to be my old Principal at the Elementary school where I used to work.  He moved to an admin position before I moved, but he is located in a different building.  I have yet to meet her in the now sense.  I'm sure I've met her previously as we went to their house one of the years for a school year end BBQ and she may have accompanied him to some other year end BBQ's at various co-workers homes.  But I don't "know her" know her.  S says he is planning on introducing her to us sometime in the next few weeks after he gets back from vacay.

D21 got a kitten.   However, she got the kitten before she got permission from her landlord to have said kitten.  So actually, I got a kitten.  LOL.  Hopefully he's not permanent but he's living in my guest room avoiding Lucy.  Lucy is NOT happy.  He's adorable and doesn't have a name yet.  D21 and Niece20 are working on getting him approved and trying to come up with a name they both like.  The first week they were spending the night and visiting him constantly.  Last week it became more sporadic but I think between work and trying to balance being at their apartment and being here, it's just been a tough transition.  D21 know he is in good hands when she has to be absent.  He is really adorable.  Lucy is ok if I go in and visit him and even pet him as long as I wash my hands before I pet her.  However, if she hears me baby talk to him through the door, she gets mad at me and will hiss her dissatisfaction with me.  I have to tell her, "you're still my girl.  He's my grandkitty," and feed her a treat and then all is right in her world again.

S18 is doing well.  He finished his EMT course and is getting ready to do his clinicals.  He's been picking up as many shifts at the Fire Department as he can as well.  He hangs out with nephew19 on his off hours and occasionally they all come and hang out here with me.  Or we go out to dinner or a movie.  Sometimes it's just my 3 kiddos and on occasion nephew19 and H's cousin's kid (neice20 or bonus kid as I like to call her) also join us.

M is doing ok.  The statin medication hasn't had any side effects.  We both feel like their has been some improvement with her memory, though she still struggles with short term here and there but definitely no worsening.  We are quite busy with different doctor's visits.  A recent eye check-up brought cataracts on the radar so she is scheduled to meet with a specialist to have that done.   A recent bone density test also got us a referral to a bone clinic where she will need to have shots instead of medication for osteoporosis.  Between that and the cataracts I do worry about her falling.  It will be good to have the cataract surgery done.  I have been to lots of doctors in the last year but only recently to an appointment that was actually for me.  We switched primary medical companies on our insurance this year and it took me until September to get in with a new doctor, and then it was just to see the nurse practitioner.  I'm to schedule a mammogram, blood work and possibly a colonoscopy but I've gotten around to doing exactly none of it.  I will get them all done or scheduled before the end of the year, except I'm debating on the colonoscopy.  Gotta do a little research on that one as I'm only 45 and maybe can wait still on that one. 

The weekend after I get back from Vegas I'm headed to Denver to my nephew's engagement party.  That will probably be a quick trip and back.

S18 and my B will be checking in on M while I am gone.  S18 will probably use the grandkitty as an excuse to drop by, and might even stay with kitty in the guest room (his old room).
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« Last Edit: October 02, 2023, 08:03:45 PM by FaithWalker »
Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

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Living Through The Ghost
#84: October 03, 2023, 07:25:33 PM
Hi FW,

Great to see you post again and I too have taken a break recently from HS.   Your story for how you have supported your kids and transitioned to a new normal as a family has been truly inspirational.  Hope your Mom's health continues to be ok and the cataract procedures are pretty efficient today.  I work in healthcare and am very familiar with the outpatient cataract procedure experience.

Hope you continue to enjoy your life with your family and friends.

HF
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M - 49
Divorced 2.5 years
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BD - July 2020
XW Left Home - January 2021
XW Filed for D - May 2021
D Final - Jan 2022

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Living Through The Ghost
#85: October 03, 2023, 11:28:54 PM
Thank you HF.  Good to know about the Cataract experience.  I don't really have any anxiety around it, and I do hope it improves her quality of life.
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Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

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Living Through The Ghost
#86: October 04, 2023, 12:36:11 AM
I can sympathize with the putting off the exam thing.... My doc has been badgering me to get a colonoscopy for a couple of years now ("You ARE getting older, you know...") although there were/are no indications of anything amiss... I finally got one scheduled for next week... Yippee... I am SO thrilled (NOT!)
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Me - 61, xW - 54
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 17, D - 13
1 Dog
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Moved on in life

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

M
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Living Through The Ghost
#87: October 04, 2023, 05:24:05 AM
FW- Taylor Swift just sat behind me in Travis Kelces private suite at the Chiefs game vs the Bears. We took selfies and she shows up in so many because of her being behind us.
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There is almost something harder about someone being alive and having to lose what you believed to be true of them than someone actually dying.

Indefatigability - determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose
perspicacity- a clarity of vision or intellect which provides a deep understanding and insight

Married July 1991
Jan 2018 BD1 moved out I filed for Div/ H stopped it
Oct 2018 moved back
Oct 2020 BD2
Feb 2021 Div-29 1/2 years
July 2021 Married OW
Feb 2022  XH fired
June 2022 XH bring OW to meet family due to xMIL illness
May 2023 went NC after telling XH we could not be friends
Aug 2023 XH moves w/o OWife
May 2024 xMIL visits XH/OW in their new home
Aug 2024 cut relations w/XH fam.
Dec 2024 D33 expecting baby ( XH not told)

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Living Through The Ghost
#88: October 04, 2023, 06:30:59 PM
No way! Yes way?
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Living Through The Ghost
#89: November 03, 2023, 06:10:02 PM
I can sympathize with the putting off the exam thing.... My doc has been badgering me to get a colonoscopy for a couple of years now ("You ARE getting older, you know...") although there were/are no indications of anything amiss... I finally got one scheduled for next week... Yippee... I am SO thrilled (NOT!)

I hope it went well for you UM
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Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."

 

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