[STP]

Journalling

Happy New Year!

I spent mine at KAs with her D11 and three of her school friends. They were a little wild and coming from having four brothers and four sons, this was quite a different NYE experience. I made a few resolutions for the year but am keeping them pretty much to myself. Those being:
1. Lose 35 lbs before I bake cookies again. I went back on my annual sugar detox which I do every year and shed lots of weight. Hope to succeed by mid FEB.
2. Run more than I did last year, which was a paltry 50 miles and will be easy to do.
3. I deleted all my personal messages and decided I will not initiate contact with anyone. Up to them to reach out first.
4. I gave up Instagram for 6 months. I find it can depress me a tad so no point in going there. In July I will certainly be back because that's when Halloween decor starts hitting shelves and the majority of people I follow post their finds.

This weekend is my 7th annual white wine party where everyone brings a bottle and I become bartender and blind pour each guest a sample of each bottle. KA assists me with the process which takes just over 90 mins. I'm expecting A LOT of people this time... like 50! Just imagine 50 people in your house. I keep telling myself I've had 48 guests and that worked out fine. It most certainly will be a new record of bottles. I have a bit of anxiety which I am trying to put into words as to what exactly is bothering me. I'm concerned it will be too crowded, too loud, and too many wine samples for some. I'm sure it will all work out-it always does.
I had posted my event on the Meetup page as well as in my party group. I put it on Meetup to attract new strangers and turn them into new friends. There is a faction of the hiking group I belong to coming. A bunch of women that pal around together and have only been in the hiking group a couple years. I've met them all twice as I really don't go to that hiking groups events anymore, as I host my own. I'm sure KAs not thrilled to have 7-8 more women friends added to my life. There are just more women coming around.

Next weekend I am having my hike and have over 30 signed up for that. Of course buddy JS will be there, as he is my shadow. I love having lots of attendees but it really wrecks any plans of going to a restaurant after. Although we always have gone and it has always worked out fine. Just freaks me out a bit about trying to make reservations for a group that large. I stopped doing it and just wing it.

It's kinda crazy XW has been married to OM for 5 years now. S24s gf works for XW, by managing her shop. Their pride and joy seems to be a hairless Egyptian cat. My kids have shown me pics-it's weird looking. I guess my former FIL had dementia real bad. I am so glad to be out of that relationship.

[STP]

Journalling

Things always have a way of working out. Maybe not as expected but to a degree, I'm pleased with the result. My wine party a couple weeks ago was great fun with 34 open bottles. I decided to not keep adding people to my party group. I have a pool of just over 100 that can attend my monthly events and can add more when that number drops (I delete people if they fail to attend one of my events within 15 months.)

Fitness is important in 2024, and I've run a couple 5ks on the treadmill at Planet Fitness. I feel good about myself to be able to do so having taken 9 months off from running. Slow 'n steady. KA is determined to get in shape as well as has rejoined a PF compatible with mine. I've had a couple stumbles but so far this year I've lost 12lbs.
My hike this past weekend was just 14 people due to the cold and snow here in NW Indiana. I have 11" in my yard of the white fluffy stuff which is fine.

S24 proposed to his gf and they are engaged. The girl is alright. A bit obnoxious, spunky and adores my XW, as she is her store manager in her metaphysical/jewelry shop. I guess the day will come when KA and I are at their wedding with XW, OM and her family. I get along fine with all of them except the OM, who I've not said a single word to since 2016. XW will be more fearful of being around my family, whom shes only seen once since DEC '09 and that was before BD #2.

This week and next I'm just focusing on working out and eating well.

[STP]

Journalling

I browsed over to JWs Facebook page. I tend to think of her as a blonde fireplug-short and stacked. We met in '16, fooled around a few times in '17 and through one of my hikes in '21 she met this cop. They last came to my Halloween party in '22. That was the last I heard from her. Well, she married him on NYE. They only knew one another because of me. Another one of those women who makes their mate their everything and forsakes all friendships. I wonder if they live apart? No way she'd leave her fancy remodeled home and mom in MI and his place is 45 mins away where hes a cop. No matter, out of my circle.

I knew MM moved back to her former bfs place in MI in early DEC to take care of him following a surgery, after just moving to FL the month before. She was so upset about the breakup she had me be the go-between to get the last of her things from his local son. She told me it was just gonna be a temporary stay-like 5-6 weeks. It's been 8 now and I bet shes still there. I had sent her a message two weeks ago and she still hasn't read it. Who doesn't check their messenger for that long? WTF! Another case of a woman ignoring everyone for their guy. That's so unhealthy to make someone your all. I did that in my marriage. Your significant other should add to your life and not take away from how it is. smh

Frequent kayak pal NJ is moving to FL. I offered to help her with clearing out a room of packed boxes, to declutter the place for her photographer to shoot. She gave me some of her Halloween decor and a couple mirrors too. 7 years ago I had wanted to date her. The next morning, I got a text from DC (her bestie) saying she went over to help but I was the rock star who got it all done first. Incredibly sweet and generous of me. DC also texted me two days prior asking if I'm avail and willing to help her with a professional headshot for work, as hers is 5 years old. I said sure and picked out a couple days I know she doesn't have her son (SIDENOTE if you're ever gonna date someone it's imperative that you know their schedule). DC responded this week is not the best because of the silly reason she went to the dermatologist to get some spots removed and wants to wait 'til they heal. Gee, I could remove them being a professional photo retoucher but whatever works for her I'll just keep doing my own thing over here being a rock star. A high maintenance woman!

KA and I took S24 and his fiancee out to dinner one fine evening to celebrate their engagement. The girl, who had been XWs store manager, was let go the day after they got engaged, due to slowness in the store. She griped who's gonna watch the store when XW and OM got to Ireland this summer? I was a bit bothered he said they plan to keep the wedding small and only invite people who have meant something to them and basically said none of my family would be invited. I can just hear XWs words being placed in their heads to not invite those she doesn't get along with. Trying to let it go, as weddings not until Oct. 2026 and a lot could change before then.

Its warming up here in the midwest, so Winterfest this weekend, KA and I were planning to go to, may not happen. May go see some live music as well. Sunday I have a hike and the trail I scheduled is so near my house, I opted to make chili and have up to 24 signed up come over for it after. Nearly all of them have been to my house before.

[STP]

Journaling - just a day after my last post but I'm trying to post more frequently.

MM messaged me wanting to talk on the phone. It was a good 37 min talk and she never once mentioned her bf, if he is indeed that? She did go back to FL and spoke of living there but mostly wanted to know what was going on in my life. I don't think it's fully set in I won't see her anymore.

DC texted me after seeing my Facebook post about S24 getting engaged. She wrote

Saw the post about your son getting engaged. That's pretty cool. Hope you like the girl. Hope you're ready to have to interact with XW and her husband OM. My ex-husband, the father of my four oldest children is incredibly easy to work with and we are friends. But my fifth's dad is a dumbass and it's always going to be a struggle.

We chatted a bit about small weddings and she griped about not getting invited to her nephews this April.

Attendance for my hike this Sunday has grown too large for me to entertain and make chili for 25 so lunch after is going to be at a restaurant. ML who I last spoke of back in Aug, was heartbroken to not get to try my chili, so I invited her to come over before the group hike and I'll go ahead and make it. This is the Mexican gal who told me I'm her best friend. Based on a chili competition at work last year, I know mine isn't very tasty so I sent DC a request for hers, as I know shes competed with it in her old neighborhood before.

RB is a ditzy blonde lawyer friend of mine for seven years. She texted me wanting to know how I would describe her in five words. I wrote: pretty, relaxed, soft-spoken, adventurous, positive. A couple days later I asked how she'd describe me: Fun, energetic, adventurous, kind and well-travelled. (I disgree with the last one.) She refused to comment on my appearance. When asked why she replied, Inappropriate, same reason you will never describe me as sexy, right? I said she was right. I have weird convos with her.

Winterfest stil looks to be happening in WI, so I'm psyched to go there with KA on Sat. I ran four 5k runs this month and see S31 is running again too. I dropped 16+ lbs in January.

[STP]

Journalling

My company has new owners (since being founded in 1930) so I am being vigilant and only using the internet for work, as it it being monitored,  thus it’s less convenient for me to post here.

Pretty much the usual occurrences. I led two hikes in Feb. I'm running a 5k on the treadmill every Tuesday improving my time each week. Valentines Day was my 6th anniversary with KA. I did not see her that evening as she had D11 and I was with S28 at a concert. Her and I got together two days later. There were no gift exchanges or even cards. I did give her an amethyst and diamond ring to wear as an anniversary gift. Not an engagement ring. My Mardi Gras party was great fun with just over thirty friends coming to the masquerade.

I've begun to attend events with the old hiking group I joined back in ’16. There's some good people (OK, women) that are fun to chat with. One of the hike leaders ET (who came to my Mardi Gras) invited me and another women to check out a Tiki Bar in a nearby city on a weeknight. Funny thing is she got confused and invited the wrong KM from her address book... and the leader of the Connections group came instead. I'm friendly with her, and she was under the impression we wanted to do events in her group.  Not the case... I quit that group 5 years ago.

Ditzy blonde lawyer friend RB had computer issues a couple weeks ago, so I went over to try and help her.  She’s hard for me to figure out other than just being an airhead. She wasn't bothered bumping into me or casually touching me but when I did so to her, it's like she was burned and recoiled. Her texts are at times suggestive and strange. Whatever. Harmless.

I went over to NJs house to have a last visit with her before she moves to FL. I've often wondered how does one say goodbye to a friend? I'm certain I will never see her again as she has no reason to come back with her family all there. I left with a picture of us, hug and joke in the driveway. Her bestie DC was made aware I was going over, as she was also, that evening. DC apologized for pushing back her business headshot she asked me to take. She’s busy with an influential women of IN bingo event she is hosting. After March 6th we'll try to find a time.

Friday, KA and I are going to see a hair metal cover band she's wanted to see for years. There will be other friends there. Saturday we will relax and stay in. Sunday, I'm attending a short hike and bonfire with my old hiking group, led by ET. March 16th is my St. Patricks Day party.

[Ready2Transform]

Happy anniversary, STP! Congrats on establishing a life that includes (but isn't revolving around) a relationship on your own terms.

[STP]

Thanks for the comment R2T.

Lifes been pretty good here. My St. Patricks Day party last weekend was a lot of fun with 35 friends attending in my house all decorated up with green lights and a pot of gold scavenger hunt. A few people were removed from my party group having not attended in over a year (the one rule of my group).

Today I had my hike and 23 people came including buddy JS. Lunch was enjoyable and two women friends said they know my XW as they went on her ghost tour last year and had fun with her. I made a new woman Facebook friend today and as instructed told KA about her and she wondered why I didn't make any new guy friends. They were just in a different part of the trail; didn't get to talk to them.

Giving DC one last chance this week to have me take her business headshot. She responded with

I checked my calendar. My bf and I are looking for a house and we may be signing some documents and putting the deposit down. Might be a busy week but I'll know more by Tuesday

I didn't reply but wanted to say "Just have him do it. You don't need my camera or skills for your stupid LinkedIn headshot". Sounds like their 8+ yr commitment is stepping up a level, so g'bye.

No parties in April as I want to give KA two full date weekends of just us. This follows two weekends we don't see one another: the first as shes on Spring Break vacation with her D11 in FL and the second is my annual game weekend with brother, friend and S22 and S24. April 7-8 buddy JS and I are staying at a woman friends of ours home (she moved away last Sept and now lives downstate Indiana) in the path of eclipse totality.

May you all have joy in your life always!

[STP]

Journalling

My former FIL passed away today. I saw a notice on S22s Instagram. I went to my former brother-in-laws Facebook page and saw the notice posted after 1am. I wrote to them, my XW and my kids:

I'm saddened by the news of KOMs passing. I have many fond memories of him and will carry those good thoughts forward. I learned a lot from him and I am better from it. KOM was a wonderful father-in-law to me for 25 years. My condolences to all the family, may he rest in peace. 🤍

This prompted me to look back through my photos and the last picture I took of him was in June 2013 at S29s HS graduation. Then he was in FL for many years and I never saw him again. Dementia was a key is his loss of life. If invited, I would go to the wake, but am totally fine if not. I made peace with not being in that life and family long ago.

I had a wonderful date weekend with KA. We watched a movie, went to a huge garage sale at the county fairgrounds, visited an owl at a humane function and went to the casino for dancing to live music. Today i had my hike for ten other friends including buddy JS. KA went with the other hiking group on a hike they had later than mine today. People wondered why we weren't together. LOL. Well my hike began while she was in church and she has said we walk too fast, although she told me, that group walked too fast. It's fine. We had a great weekend.

The eclipse was AMAZING, and if you saw it in totality, you know what I'm talking about. Here's a composite of pics I took from the shadow.

[STP]

Journaling

S31 contacted me wanting my help in his proposal to his live in gf. I said I could help... but his idea was too elaborate to pull together in time involving smoke and lasers for Saturday, so he asked for today. I wasn't avail to help hosting an out of state hike Sunday. KA notified me, his new fiancee posted pics of them engaged with her parents and XW and OM. She thought it $h!tety I wasn't included (but I wasn't avail today). Told KA, the grooms dad is the least important... always. S31 is the son probably closest to XWs affection. I still wish bad things on the both of them. Well, mainly the OM. Really tho, they are a non-factor in my daily life, other than having a better connection with the girls parents. KA commented under the pics, they need to get a photo with me too (seeing as I went from helping him out on his proposal to being completely left out of the engagement photos)

This upcoming weekend I am having a toga party. lol. It wasn't my idea, but I planned it then, knowing KA wasn't avail as she did not want to partake and she is out of the country for a week with work. I built and painted a white pantheon with 5 vine covered columns 8' high. Smaller group with about 25 attending. Sunday I will go see my parents for Mothers Day.

[STP]

Journalling

😭 Earlier this month my dad, age 81, had a stroke. I visited him on Mothers Day and the following day it turned worse and he passed away on the 21st. Much of the family in IL was gathered the night before to say goodbyes and he went in the early morning. A touch disappointed none of my sons went to IL. I stayed with my mom and family several days. It's hard, and I will miss my dad. So very sad. XW did send me a condolence message as I had just done for her last month.

KA's work trip to India went well and ehe enjoyed it. The day after her return, she was too tired to come see me and ended up in the hospital, in quarantine with some viral infection. Doctors aren't sure what it is, but suspect a mosquito bite and the chikungunya virus. She is covered in a rash and has fevers as high as 103º. I left my moms to go see her in the hospital. If that is what she has, there is no cure and it just has to run it's course. Texting with her today she is wanting to be released to go home. 

A week ago, DC messaged me asking for abandoned areas her teenage son and friends could go explore. I gave her some options outside of Gary IN and then went right back to not texting her. She doesn't really post on Facebook anymore. Typically when I see that happen it's because things are, going really well and she's busy or things aren't so good?

Memorial weekend was supposed to be KA and I doing things. Hope she gets out soon! Next weekend I have a hike scheduled.