[STP]

Journalling

I hope you all are festive and happy this holiday season. Not much to say. My Christmas party this past Sat was a super fun time with over 40 friends coming. KA being more introverted, doesn’t like ‘em big, but she had a great time and was included in rounds of women drinking Slippery Nipple shots. The day was also XWs birthday and I sent her the simple greeting for such.

On Sunday I got an invite from DC (& her bf of nine years) to attend their first Christmas party. I know with KA having D12 we are not free to go and I wouldn’t go alone to that. DC said it’d be great to catch up. I sent the invite to KA, like I customarily do, and she had no idea who DC was and was surprised we got an invite having not seen her in 5 years. (Just over a year for me). I said she probably just wants to show off her new house. I invited DC to come to my house this Sunday for my cookie swap (no reply) where a dozen baker friends and I trade Christmas cookies. I also told DC I pay less attention to her now as she’s living with her bf, and I don’t anticipate ever seeing her again.

With her dogs passing a couple months ago, KA has now talked about extending her weekends at my house staying over until Monday mornings. She works remotely off her laptop so she can be anywhere to work. I’d quietly leave at 5am to not wake her. I'd like this and would adjust any Sunday events around it.

S25 randomly checked his live-in fiancees phone and saw she had been sending nude pics to some guy. S25 works a lot and she’s been lonely. They took a few days apart and I was supportive but also urging him to end it with her. He didn’t.

[Treasur]

Good boundary on the DC party, my friend, kudos to you.

Sorry to hear about S25’s experience - pretty big ted flag as you say but sometimes we’re not ready to say No Thanks until we are, right?

[STP]

Journalling

Happy New Year. I spent my eve with KA at the nearby casino dancing to a band we like. The highlight was the balloon drop and confetti cannons at midnight. So fun! We also went to a Holiday at Hogwarts, Harry Potter themed dinner with trivia that was excellent. Especially for a big fan like her.

I led my first hike of the year for 14 friends that was snowless but below freezing and a week later went on a hike with 7 others in the hiking group. Sometimes it's nice to not be the leader. There was a 20 yr-younger woman there MVT who was disappointed to have missed my hike. I've seen her a few times hiking with that group and she came to my last kayaking session in Sept. I had a dream about her a few weeks ago which I shared (about us riding on a train). Not sure what that means? I know nothing about dream interpretation. I invited her to come to my white wine party.

I also had a dream about JH, a woman friend I've not seen in a few years but talked about some in my 2016 posts. I shared it with her and she had all sorts of theories about what it meant. She stopped coming to my parties 6 years ago and MM was usually instrumental in her appearing. I invited her to come to my white wine party.

I got a text from MM and her existence in FL sounds awful. Shes sick and working two jobs just to survive. Shes still expecting her guy in MI to move down there this summer.

For kicks I invited wine lover DC to come to my party. Her last party appearance at my place was in 12/19 and she threw a fit when I removed her from my group (One must attend a party every year or get the boot).

My wine party was this past weekend and I had 37 friends attend including buddy JS, MVT, JH, and DC (without bf). We had 32 open bottles and the night was fun but a lot of work for me pouring all of them for those attending. JS was thrilled to see JH (I met them both on the same day in '16) DC left way early, before I had finished my 90 min bartending duties, so I really didn't talk to her. She texted me after that she had a good time and apologized for leaving so early due to her head & stomach. I put the three women in my social party group. Sadly KA could not attend as her brother and sister had flown in to discuss how to deal with their mom. KA is very busy right now dealing with her moms aging/memory loss and D12 busy with volleyball games and practices. In two weeks her and I are having an overnight trip to WI to attend a snow sculpture Winterfest which should be a great time.

Update on my sons.
S32 is engaged to his live in gf. Wedding set for 11/26
S29 lives with his mom XW and OM. Wish he could get out of there!
S25 is engaged to his live in gf. No date set.
S23 is soon buying a townhome. His gf has an 18 month old.

[STP]

Journalling

KA and I ended up not going to Winterfest as we both were sick at different times. We did have a fun date night out at the casino seeing a local band we like. I hosted a hike for 21 singles of which most are good friends, followed by lunch. KA had her first time sleeping over at my house on a weekday. I quietly got up and went to work and she was out of my house a couple hours later. I did have a thought if she sat at my secondary computer and went rummaging through folders she could find pics she wouldn’t like… but I feel assured she didn’t do that. We all have skeletons in closets that don’t need to be unearthed.

KA had her D12 for the Super Bowl so buddy JS and I hung out with some other longer known friends at an event. Valentines Day marked my 7th anniversary since my first date with KA and I took her out for a nice dinner and photo of us with her roses. We had talked about dancing and live music after, but both were so full, we stayed in and watched a romantic movie. Oddly DC messaged me “Happy Valentines Day.” Perhaps acknowledging my anniversary to KA?

This past weekend was my Chocolate themed party. KA again was unable to make it due to having D12 several weekends in a row because her XH is out-of-town for work. DC backed out citing her bf had planned something special for them. I never really expected her anyway. She said she’d bring some women friends to the next one. The event was good with 30 some friends attending and I was quite full from eating. I tend to end parties with a final photo in the kitchen with those who still remain at 11:45pm. There were two dating couples, buddy JS, myself and tan blonde TBP. Well the next day after photos were posted KA messaged me very upset, deeming it looked like I was coupled up with TPB because I was standing behind her (really in the spot between two guys). I assured her I wasn’t, and she counted the photos of us taken where we both appeared in the same pic. All but one were group photos. There is some truth that I do like her and we have a lot in common. I am also in the process of filming footage to make a music video from my parties-for the theme song, I recorded in 2016. Much of the footage was TBP (& others dancing) which KA pointed out and she asked if I could possibly take less pics with TBP. Yes I can. Her bestie JKR, is like my new MM. Both women are around me a lot coming to everything I host.

TBP messaged me on Sunday asking about a large plate of hers, she uses often that got left behind, and I said this WED I could drop it off, as I’m heading that way to see KA to pick up some food. I know about where she lives but it will be the first time at her house. Although I don’t like keeping things from KA, revealing that I’m stopping over at a persons house she doesn’t trust, would not go over well. Don't beat me up about this-there's nothing going on.

This upcoming weekend is my annual guys board game weekend with a brother, my best friend, S23 and S25.. It will be very fun.

KAs D12 asked for more mommy time (less of me around) on their weekends, so beginning in March I may not be seeing KA on some Fridays.

[STP]

Journalling

I know just two days since my last post but I have the time, want to try and post more and have things in my head.

DC messaged me several times today to question if she was being rude by asking to bring two former work friends to my St. Patricks Day party next month. I explained its fine, as my friends often ask to bring other friends. Her speech to text was full of typos which amused her a bunch. It's just unusual to hear from her more often after so long of not.

Tonight I went to return the 'often used dish' to TPB at her townhome. She has since signed up for my hike on 3/2 with her bestie JKR. I had no idea what to expect... whether it was gonna be a quick hand off of the plate or what it was, a tour of her home, and sit down chat on her couch for an hour. We went through her rock collection in the kitchen too. Her place is very comfy and it was a good visit. I was uneasy on my time as I had other evening plans (anticipating the quick hand off) which didn't happen.

Last year, through drunk texting, I had admitted to wanting to kiss her 4 months prior when I took our photo, but she has straight out texted that I'm in a relationship and she wouldn't go there, despite affirming there's attraction. Of course I've never tried to act on such. JKR has confirmed that too that TPBs no relationship wrecker. When it came time to leave tonight we hugged and after 10 seconds I started to release but she held on. That happened a few more times and it was like a min long hug from her. When I pulled away I had the feeling it could go either way but I did nothing but leave with some dinner she shared me to take.. Tests like this happen and I kept it real.

KA in our texting today indicated that I used to not take so many selfies with friends and dared me to go back to that. Party group pics are fine but stop the selfies with friends (women) pics for the next party. I said I'll do that.

[STP]

Journalling

It's been some time since I posted as not much to say. My St. Paddys party was great fun with KA embracing the theme, serving green beer and me taking group pics instead of selfies. DC texted her friends weren't free to attend, and thus went out to dinner with her bf instead. No matter, as I've no reason to text her.

My mom 82, had surgery after a fall, on her broken leg bone and has recovered quickly in two weeks. I am trying to spend more time with her by going out for Thurs-Sat visits every other month, sleeping in my old bedroom. I have 4 brothers and I live the furthest from her at 100 miles.

April looks to be a quieter month for me, with no party... but every Sunday is something fun for me to do: Easter with family at my moms, two hikes with 20+ friends and a photographer urbex outing in Gary IN, at an abandoned church in ruins. TPB and JKR will both be with me for that along with S30 and 4 other photographer friends. Last year, DC expressed an interest in going for her teenage son. I sent her an invite, but shes flaky and I wouldn't expect her to actually come. For various reasons I haven't seen KA on a Tuesday since 3/11 and not seeing her tomorrow either (I'll be at my moms) has us missing one another. Happily we have two date weekends this month: One looks to be attending a Van Halen tribute band followed the next day by driving 2.5 hrs to a 4 hr wine festival. The other is still open. I'll see her Sat.

Today I am distancing myself from Facebook for a bit, having unfollowed everyone. This Sunday (after my hike) is 'dinner with dad' which is an open invite to any of my sons to come over for dinner. A monthly event that lets us not get too distant from one another and gets the brothers together too.

[JohnnyBravo]

Hey, STP

I follow a few YouTube channels of urban ruin exploration. Really interesting!

Glad to hear your mom is recovering. My stepmom is getting older and my sister isn't really able to be a caretaker, so I'm hoping she stays well.

And lastly, I've considered dumping a bunch of people from FB. There are a few I still interact with, but the majority of people I'm connected to there are from my days of refereeing roller derby, and they're not really FRIENDS-friends...

Glad to hear things are moving along.

JB

[STP]

Thanks for your comment JohnnyBravo.

The outing to the abandoned church started off well, although my kids didnt show up (and of course DC didnt either). TPB, JKR and three other women and a guy friend met me. I'd say we were about 15% done when I had to run out to the car and a white guy driving by slowly turned his car around to yell at me that we should not be in there and he was going to call the police and he worked for the commissioner, blah blah etc. So we sadly left and went to the abandoned train station to take pics of the superb graffiti on the walls. JKR mentioned about going to a gypsy cemetery so I left my car in a safe spot and rode with her and TPB in the jeep. TPB seemed to get a kick out of offering me Nerds candy clusters which are yummy. After browsing the blah cemetery, the other guy invited me to accompany him and his lady friend to lunch. While texting with KA who had just finished watching her D12 last volleyball meet, she realized we were now in the same city and she joined us for lunch. In the evening before posting my photos online I told KA there were pics with TPB (and the rest) and again there was nothing to be jealous of. She had indicated that me spending time with her, was how her XHs affair started. Shes just a friend, and I have lots of women friends. Noyt sure why shes singled her out?

S25 had given me a book to fill out about my life. There were questions about my kids as babies so I texted XW for the info. We traded a couple comments about not seeing the kids enough and how fast time goes. It felt kinda good to chat with her even briefly about them as babies. How many years has it been since I've seen her? With weddings coming up in '26, I will be.

Here we are for a group photo. I found that chair on the way in.The celing has collapsed over the years.

[STP]

Journalling

S30 who lives with XW and OM told me awhile ago his brother S23, is over twice a week to watch TV series with his mom. Looks like Thursdays will be our set time now, as he's wanting to start a three season show with me. He brought dinner last time which was super nice as I hadn't preprared anything as he was quite late. This past weekend I rode with S32 and his fiancee to my moms in IL for Easter. He shared that the OM was fired from his job 6-8 weeks ago, for ranting about not getting a prommotion. I do suspect my XW married him for his money, so I am fine to learn of their struggles. Her business isn't enough for them to live on. I know how angry she can be... from the times I've been without work.

Wed night I'm attending a flower walk, only because its so near my house and I try to go there on my own at the end of April. I know a few people of the dozen attending.

This weekend looks to be a busy one! Friday KA, S25 and I are going to a Van Halen tribute band. Saturday KA and I are driving over 2 hrs to attend an afternoon wine festival. Sunday, her and I are going to a ranger led hike near my house. Sunday night I'm leading a 10-mile, sunset, bike ride that I do every year.

[STP]

Journalling

Hi all. Six weeks since I came to write about things. KA and I had a great time at the winefest at the end of April. We saw Katy Perry in concert in May and I had my funky bue party for about 20 friends. KA started off happy but stopped smiling as the night went on. She said she was tired, didnt like my funky music and thought I followed besties TPB and JKR around too much. I explained they are my closest women friends and I never was with them for more than 3 mins before moving on to others. She felt blown off when trying to have conversations with some of the newer friends that have come into my circle via my hikes. She misses the OG but I said most of them have moved away, got bfs or have stopped coming around me. Not all, but most of my friends coming around, I've known less than 3 years.

KA did indicate she would like to come on an easy group hike of mine. People have always wondered why she doesn't come. I went with S25 & his fiancee to AC/DC. The night before the concert KA blew up at me via text 'annoyed as hell' that I can plan so many group events weeks in advance but couldn't plan any for us for that day until the morning of. She felt like I haven't been putting effort into 'us'. I gave my reasons about when I plan group things I don't consider anyone. I fling it out there and see whos interested. With her, I have to consider her likes, our schedule, and how we will be feeling & energywise that day. I did say she was right and I do have to plan harder.

Four days ago KA left for FL with D12 to visit her sister & H for 10 days. So I planned a lot to do... The last few years I've been invited to a Chicago CUBS outing, but my close friend wasn't doing his event this year, so I put my own group together: 4 guys and 4 girls. It's funny to say 'girls' when the youngest of us is TPB who is 54. It was a fun day, commuting on the train and at the stadium. Somehow, in the row of 8 seats, I was on the end with the next three seated being women. I already knew a photo of this would not go over well with KA so I didn't take a pic but another guy did. I did have a talk with TPB about KA not trusting her. TPB is steadfast, if I even flirt with her... to tell me "you have a gf". After the game one of the women wanted to hang around Chicago for a couple hours, so we went to a bar where there was a live band, before our train ride home. That evening when I posted the photos of my day KA sent a meme of a woman waving a red flag and that she 'wasnt pleased' I was next to TPB and seated near all the women. I said they are just friends. There's nothing going on and explained I wasn't pleased the seating happened like that either. I said the women respect our relationship, they couldn't take me away and besides they all were telling stories of guys they are currently texting. KA went on to another subject.
 
Sat. was my annual arcade day with S25 and several other family members including my buddy JS. Sunday was my hike and tonight is my first kayaking of the year with about fiveteen people.

I really need to get on to planning something for KA when she returns this FRI, like I said I would 2 weeks ago. Also have to plan something for fathers day, to do with my sons. Saturday we are at my nephews grad party. Sunday KA and I may see a band in the park.

Unrelated, but after14 years I am looking for another job. Still employed but a lot of people jumping ship. Word musta got back to XW who messaged me some leads. Looks like she still cares, somewhat afterall.